webnovel

the lazy dungeon master

Prologue In the midst of an expansive white room with basically nothing in it, I, Keima Masuda, was checking my dungeon map. “...Hey. Why’s there only one room and one hallway in this dungeon? I’m not even gonna count the entrance.” “My dungeon’s all about beating down intruders with monsters! I heard that’s the best thing to do!” I don’t know who told her that, but the girl who just brushed aside her waist-length golden blonde hair and grinned with her hands on her hips was my partner, Rokuko. I had just become the Dungeon Master of this dungeon a few minutes ago, making both it and this girl my responsibility. The girl, by the way, was the physical avatar of the Dungeon Core. Which does in fact mean that she, not I, made this terrible dungeon that ended as soon as you entered it. And of course... the heart of this dungeon—the Dungeon Core—was placed in the sole existing room. But the map I was looking at also showed eight red dots in that room. The word “Bandit” was displayed above each one as supplementary information. “O-Oh, I get it! These, uh... these bandits are monsters protecting your dungeon, right?” “Ah, no! Those are the intruders!” Rokuko said something unbelievable with a broad smile on her face. Yeah... yep. They do look like enemies on the map. I don’t know what I was expecting. As far as I could tell from the map, the bandits seemed to be surrounding the Dungeon Core. ...And I was in the Master Room, located right within the Dungeon Core. The Master Room was an odd, pure white expanse without any walls or even a floor. It was about as wide as a gymnasium, leading me to believe that it might have also served as a storeroom. If I were to take even a single step out of this bizarro world, I would be surrounded by all of the bandits. The Dungeon Core itself was about the size of a basketball, so how could a gym-sized room fit inside of it? ...It would probably be a waste of time toeven think about it. “So, Keima. Would you mind killing all of these bandits for me?” Without blinking an eye, my partner asked me to do something pretty crazy. Honestly, I kind of just want to cradle my head and groan... But it’s still too early to give up. Dungeon Masters can expend Dungeon Points (DP) to make rooms, set traps, and summon monsters. Although the only thing you could do once the core room was invaded by intruders was summon monsters, you still had a fighting chance at survival as long as you had DP on your side. Or at least, that’s what I thought before I realized the grim truth. “...Uh, it looks like we’ve only got 9 DP left. What can we do with that?” “Hm? That’s not even enough to summon a goblin. Those cost 20 DP.” “Still, you need to do something about this.” My last hope, vanquished. “It cost me a whole 1000 DP to summon you, Keima. Don’t expect me to have any left over after that.” “Oh wow, [I] cost you that much DP? Huh. Nice...” Without DP, you can’t set traps and you can’t summon monsters. In short, this dungeon had no meandering hallways, no traps, no monsters, no stash of DP... and its singular room had been conquered by bandits. This dungeon’s already completely friggin’ screwed.

Fantasy_sharer · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
14 Chs

day 21 chapter 13

Day 21

Alright. Now that things have settled down and there aren't any bandits,

let's think about what to do next. The main thing on my mind is that {Create

Golem} spell I saw earlier. Magic that can make golems... Yep, that sounds

perfect. Things will be easier for me if I can make golems do all the work for

me.

"Eeeh?! But all that magic can do is make golems. You should just use

that DP to summon golems as monsters instead. They cost 100 DP each, and

they're strong enough."

"So basically, this spell will pay for itself after I use it to create one

hundred golems. Every golem after the one hundredth is basically free."

"Wow, what?! That's amazing!"

Yeaaah, but to be honest, there's way too many unknown factors to

actually know that for sure. How strong will the golems I make be? Can I

really summon them for free? Will I even be able to summon 100 of them?

The spell may not end up paying for itself, it's impossible to tell right now. To

tell the truth, I halfway want it just because I want to try making some

golems. I mean, it sounds really fun, right? ...Let's not tell her about all this.

"Alrighty then. I'll have one {Create Golem} scroll, please. Aaand...

Sweet, there it is." I used 10,000 DP to buy a [{Create Golem} Scroll] and

soon enough a string-tied scroll made of animal skin appeared. I tried not to

think about how we had just lost two-thirds of our DP in a single purchase.

Let's try to use this thing. I undid the string and unrolled the scroll. It had

{Create Golem} written along the top of it with a magic circle in the middle.

"...How do you use scrolls like this?"

"Just pour your mana into the magic circle." I followed Rokuko's advice

and tried pouring my mana into the magic circle. It felt a lot like using the

Survival Magic spell {Purification}, somehow. All I had to do was put my

hand on the magic circle and clench it into a fist before I started feeling mana

flowing out of my body. It was just a little tiring.

My mana flowed into the magic circle and started running along its lines.

Huh... So this is what it's like to let mana flow into something. How long

should I do this, anyway? I guess I should just keep pumping out mana until

it works. My mana flowed progressively faster into the magic circle. Once it

reached its limit or something, the magic circle suddenly stopped resisting the

flow of my mana, causing it all to burst and rain back onto me. It felt as if the

composition of the magic circle was being ingrained within me as my body

was showered with mana. Actually, it probably was being ingrained within

me. Once it finished, I bet I could use {Create Golem}. As for the scroll...

The magic circle on it was scorched black, and after all my mana left it, the

whole scroll caught fire and turned to ash.

"...Wow, I've never seen someone actually use a scroll before. That was

really cool."

"Oh yeah, you mentioned that you've never used a scroll before. I'm

impressed you still knew what to do with one."

"Eheh, it's just common knowledge. Though, um... Number 89 is the one

who taught me how to do that."

I decided to go ahead and try out {Create Golem} immediately. Two

things were necessary to use it: mana, and material to make the golem's body

with. Somehow, I just knew that. Knowing instinctively how to use a spell

must be one side effect of using a scroll.

It seemed that using the ground itself to make Clay Golems was the most

simple thing to do. The golem could have its shape changed by mana. I stood

up to leave the Master Room and go dig out some clay, but before I left, I

noticed Niku sitting in the corner of the room with her arms around her legs.

She had woken up at some point without me noticing. That was where

Gobsuke always used to sit. Mmm. Nostalgic.

Right, right. I don't have to go outside myself. If I have a tool available to

me, I better use it.

"...Hey, Niku. Go outside and mine some clay for me. Not a lot, just about

this much."

"O-Okay. Understood, Master."

I ordered Niku to go outside and bring back about a soccer ball's worth of

clay. She tried to go outside just like that, but I stopped her and gave her a

[Shovel (5 DP)] first. It felt like she looked a little surprised when I did that.

Man, she really does look dead inside... I've never seen an expression that

blank in my life.

After a while, Niku came back with the shovel and clay. The way she was

holding up the clump of clay with her tiny body made it look really heavy.

Actually, I bet it actually was heavy for a child like her. Oh yeah. It's kinda

late to say this, but Niku can go in and out of the Master Room on her own

without any issues. Maybe because Rokuko thinks it's normal for that to be

possible or something?

"Sweet, good job. You can rest now."

"Ah, auuu..." I patted her head and praised her. While I was at it, I cast

{Purification} on her since her hands had gotten dirty with clay. She let out a

cute "hyafuuu!" cry for some reason. Does it tickle when I cast {Purification}

or something? I should have Rokuko cast it on her later as an experiment.

Depending on Niku's reaction, I might just learn something.

"Alright, no point waiting around... {Create Golem}!" I sent my mana

flowing into the clump of clay. The mana formed circuits within it and

morphed the clay into the shape of a person. Perhaps thanks to the scroll, the

image of a perfect golem arose in my mind... Well, it's actually a lot smaller

than I expected, but that's fine. Probably. Definitely. Maybe. This is fine.

Everything will be okay.

Obeying the instructions that were filling my mind, I kneaded the clay

with my hands while pouring more mana into it. It didn't take long until the

clay turned into a (somewhat small) human-shaped golem. I had based its

design on the things I had played with at school before being summoned. In

other words, it looked like a thirty-centimeters-tall robot. Instead of a

servomotor moving its joints, though, there was magic. Its body was made of

clay instead of plastic and aluminum. Its movements were controlled by an

embedded magic circle instead of a CPU. It had a magic stone powering it

instead of a battery... Wait, we didn't have any magic stones. Oh well. We

can just power it externally... The magic power floating around inside the

dungeon's air should be good enough. After spending about ten more

minutes sending mana into it, the thirty-centimeters-tall (mini) Clay Golem

was complete.

"Wow! What's that...? A golem...?"

"What's with all the question marks?"

"Well, golems are usually way bigger than an adult human! I'm prettysure we would need to make a lot more than a hundred of these for the scroll

to pay for itself."

"I mean, I don't know what's normal or not, so... Either way, we'll just

have to make ten thousand of'm then." I decided to just order the golem

around and see what happened. First, I made it start working on expanding

the cave. That would help us save more DP. After bringing up the map and

ordering the golem to go to the goblin room and start mining inwards through

the mountain, the freshly made (mini) Clay Golem left the Master Room

without even grabbing the shovel.

"Golems sure are dumb, aren't they? That shovel would make his job so

much easier."

"Nope. You don't know what you're talking about, Rokuko. I'm basically

stunned here, shocked by the vast potential golems have."

Rokuko must have been thinking something like "Golems can't do

anything complicated!", but that was way too narrow of a mindset. If you

think about it, "dig into the mountain" is a pretty complicated order on its

own. To make a robot in modern Japan do something like that, you'd need to

first teach it how to mine a wall in the first place from the ground up. Not

only that, but telling them "go here" wouldn't work. You'd have to tell them

exactly how many steps to take, and even how to move their legs. They

wouldn't stand up on their own if they fell over, and if they hit a wall on the

way there, they'd keep walking into the wall forever. But with magic, all I

had to do was say "Go here and mine into the wall." Golems were amazing.

I'm seriously moved right now. But using magic was pretty tiring... I think

I'll just go to sleep now. Oh, right. I'll try using Niku as a dakimakura. That's

why I saved her, anyway. Kind of. Come heeeere, little girl. Er... Don't

worry, I won't do anything perverted to you. Yep! I won't make you wear

knee socks or anything yet! That can come after we know each other better.

Day 21

Let's just make one thing clear.

Humans. Are not. Good. Dakimakuras.

I tried using Niku as one, but... Oh, don't worry. I didn't take her clothes

off or anything—I seriously just used her as a dakimakura. Anyway, it was

nice at first. Her skin was nice and smooth, plus her hair smelled nice. But it

didn't take long for a problem to arise.

Her body heated up fast.

She got so, so hot.

Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to handle this outside of winter. I finally

understand why people huddle together to stay warm in survival movies and

stuff. Though I have heard that kids have especially high body temperatures...

And I've also heard that dogs are hotter than humans. In which case, it

makes complete sense that a dog-eared little girl would be extremely hot.

Plus, it wasn't until I noticed how heavily she was breathing that I

realized she was running out of air beneath the covers. That was pretty dumb

of me. Obviously, she would struggle to breathe without access to fresh air. I

hurriedly pulled her head out of the covers.

...Which ended up with us lying in bed together, face to face. Her cheeks

had flushed from the heat and her mouth was hanging weakly open, which

made her lips look really sexy f—Wait, no! I'm not a lolicon! Seriously, I'm

not a lolicon!

Her breath was tickling me, so I made her turn and face the other way. I

didn't do that because she was making my heart beat too fast to sleep. Her

breath was ticklish. That was all. But... after turning around, her hair started

to tickle me instead. Aaaah! Why does this have to be so bad?!

Having no other choice, I lowered her back down such that our heads

were a reasonable distance apart. I pulled the blanket down to about my

stomach so she wouldn't start suffocating again. That helped with the heat a

little too.

With that, I was finally comfortable enough to sleep. But then another

problem arose. A pretty big problem, too.

You see, Niku couldn't move while I was using her as a dakimakura.

She'd have to push me off her if she wanted to get up, but as a slave, she

couldn't do that. Can you imagine what happened because of that?

SHE! PEED! HERSELF!

Okay, okay. I knew it was my fault. I felt something wet when I woke up

and then panicked like crazy after seeing Niku crying in my arms. I stood us

up and cast {Purification} on me, her, and the futon while patting her head

and telling her that everything would be okay. Yeah, it was my fault. I'mTo show how sorry I am, you can eat as much food as you want today. Ask

for anything, it's yours. Okay? Here, have a hamburger! They taste super

good! So stop crying! I'm sorry, it was my fault!

* * *

Niku finally calmed down after she finished eating the hamburger.

"Ummm, okay. I would like to begin our first meeting on what to do with

Keima, the pervert who loves to make his slave girl pee on him."

"Hey, hold up. That's a pretty biased way of framing things, Madame

Judge. It was an accident, Your Honor, I swear." I used my position as

Dungeon Master to make Rokuko shut up about how I had accidentally made

Niku pee herself. She immediately fell silent, so I decided to start making

more golems.

"Niku, bring me some more clay. Just as much as you did yesterday."

"Okay." Niku picked up the shovel from yesterday and left the Master

Room, which made me remember something. The (mini) Clay Golem I made

yesterday had been working all night.

...Yeah, I should check out how he's doing first.

"Leeet's see here..." I brought up the dungeon monitor from the menu and

checked up on the golem I had ordered to dig into the mountain. The (mini)

Clay Golem was steadily scratching away at the wall. His spirit was

admirable, but he hadn't made any progress at all. The bare rock wall was

just too strong for his clay hands to wear down.

That was my mistake. I should have given him a pickaxe or something.

"Mmm, see? He'll just keep on doing what you told him to, no matter

what."

"How long can he stay active? I think it has something to do with the

magic stone inside of it."

"Eh? Well, obviously, he'll stay active until he runs out of mana. I mean,

he's a golem. But dungeons are filled with mana, so he basically should never

stop as long as he's inside of one."

Wow, that's crazy. He basically doesn't need any energy to keep moving.

I was losing my mind over how far golems had surpassed my

expectations. It was looking like I would be able to just leave everything to

the golems and sleep as much as I wanted.

"No way, Keima, no way. You can't count on golems to do anything

right. Just look. See what happened because you told that golem to dig into

the wall?"

"Huh?" I looked at where Rokuko was pointing on the monitor.

Yep. There's the (mini) Clay Golem, digging away at... the... wait, what?

Upon closer inspection, I noticed something odd. The (mini) Clay Golem was

indeed scratching away at the wall. But his hands were getting worn down,

and despite how broken apart they had already become, he just kept

mindlessly pushing them against the wall to keep digging.

"Oh man..."

"See? Golems are just dumb. They only ever do what you tell them to,

nothing else. That's why they'll keep trying to dig a hole into something even

if nothing's happening."

Yeah, this is something. This is definitely something.

But I wasn't thinking the same thing that Rokuko was. Not at all. I could

barely keep myself from grinning ear to ear.

I ordered the (mini) Clay Golem to come back to the Master Room and

wait for a bit. It needed repairs, after all.

"I-I'm back... o-oof."

"Welcome back, Niku. Good job. I'm proud of you. Nooow... Let's start

experimenting."

After taking the large clump of clay from Niku, I cast {Purification} on

her while patting her head. It wasn't much, but there was something I really

wanted to try out as soon as possible. If I was right about it, {Create Golem}

might just be the greatest spell I ever could have asked for.

Brimming with hope, I started to pour mana into the clump of clay while

kneading it with my hands.

* * *

"...And that should do it."

"What... is that...?"

I had made three golem arms, each about as small as a finger. I had then

made a tub-shaped golem about the size of my palm with a little rod in the

middle of it. After combining the golem with the needle-shaped arms, I had

finished making a golem with three tiny arms.

https://mp4direct"Seriously, what? That's not a golem, no way. Like, golems just don't

look like that."

"It's a [Clock]."

Yup. It was a [Golem Clock]. I had given each of the golem arms

different instructions. I told the first arm to rotate completely every sixty

seconds, the second arm every sixty minutes, and the last one every twelve

hours. In other words, the individual arms became the seconds, minutes, and

hours hands of a clock. Together they formed a clock that would keep

working as long as it had mana.

...Making sure it stayed accurate would be pretty annoying, though.

By the way, I had realized halfway through that I didn't need to make the

golem arms look like actual arms, which is why they ended up being needle￾shaped, like the arms of a real clock would be. Everything was made from

clay, but I doubted anyone would realize the clock was actually a golem.

"Y-You really made a golem shaped like that...? Wooow, Keima. You

don't have any common sense, do you?"

"Seriously? You're the one who summoned me from another world. How

would I know what's common sense here?"

Either way, it was way easier to make a customized golem than I had

thought it would be. Plus, because the arms didn't have any joints to move or

anything, it didn't take much mana at all to work. How simple my orders

were probably helped too. It seemed to take about one-tenth of the mana that

the (mini) Clay Golem took.

"So, what are you going to do with that anyway? You can just look at the

Menu if you want to know what time it is, so..."

Oh yeah. The time of day and such was displayed on the Dungeon Master

Menu that I could use.

"...I'll give it to Niku. I only made this an experiment, so yeah. Now I

know more about what I can do with golems. This wasn't a waste of time at

all." And so, I gave Niku the watch as a present.

...At which point I realized that Niku was still wearing torn-up rags as

clothes. Holy crap. I immediately bought some [Cheap Clothes (Dress: 8

DP)], [Cheap Shoes (Child-sized: 10 DP)], and [Knee Socks (White: 70 DP)].

While watching Niku change clothes, I realized that she was 'missing

something' and quickly bought a set of [Female Child's Underwear (20 DP)].

That was close. All that cost a fair amount of DP, but she could keep

wearing all that pretty much forever thanks to {Purification}. It even worked

on her underwear no problem, thankfully.

The clothes looked nice enough, but I wanted to dress her up in a much

cuter outfit once we could spare the DP. Same for Rokuko. Her DP-saving

form is pretty cute itself, but her other form was pretty much my exact type.

She looked super cute and her feet were the definition of pretty. They were

truly spectacular. Seriously. I couldn't stop fantasizing about making her

wear all sorts of socks.

...But y'know, I feel like it's kinda arbitrary that the knee socks were so

expensive. Like, 70 DP? That's three and a half goblins right there, c'mon.

Does it just cost more because it's a luxury item?

I attached a [Leather String (2 DP)] to the [Golem Clock] and hung it off

Niku's neck. She stared at it for a long time without saying anything after I

said it was hers. I thought that was because she really liked it, but then I

realized she probably just didn't understand what it was. Right, right, she's a

slave. There's probably a lot she doesn't know about the world. Starting

tomorrow, I'll teach her everything she needs to know. By proxy, through

Rokuko. Do your best, Rokuko.

I mean, seriously, what's Rokuko been doing anyway? She's basically

done nothing for the past month. She needs to work a little harder. I'll have

her do my work for me... No, wait. No no no. The only future I see with

Rokuko as leader is one where our dungeon turns into a goblin paradise and

then collapses immediately.

* * *

I repaired the hands of the (mini) Clay Golem, taking the opportunity to

turn them into stone shovels. It was actually pretty simple to do that. The

stone became pliable like clay after I poured enough mana into it, making it

very easy to morph into a shovel-esque shape.

...And here we have the new and improved (mini) Clay Golem, Shovel

Edition!

It felt like it took less mana to mold clay than it took to mold stone. In

which case, it would probably be better if I made my first human-sized golem

out of clay and just gave it a pickaxe. That could come after I spent some

more time experimenting with this (mini) Clay Golem, though. Finding what

works best with this guy and then making big versions of him would be the

most efficient route. But it was getting pretty tiring calling him "(mini) Clay

Golem" every time I talked about him, and I was already mixing in materials

other than clay now, so really that whole title wasn't working anymore.

And so, I decided to give him a name. One that fit his status as an

experimental golem would work best.

"Alright. You will now be known as Testle. Your name is Testle. Got it?"

The (mini) Clay Golem, now known as Testle, nodded as if saying "got

it." I then changed his order, making him instead go outside of the cave and

gather clay for me. He would probably come back each time he gathered

about a soccer ball's worth of clay. If I went to sleep right now, there'd

probably be a ton of clay waiting for me when I woke up.

...I knew it wouldn't ever stop moving inside the dungeon, but how long

would it last outside of the dungeon? I decided to test that and watched as

Testle moved around for about one solid hour before stopping. I needed to be

careful about that. Stopped golems would resume moving if you poured mana

into them. It depended on the magic stone inside of them, but normally they

could last one hour. I knew that thanks to knowledge from the {Create

Golem} scroll.

...But wait, what the heck is a magic stone anyway? I know it functions

like a battery, but that's all I know. Seriously? You'll give me knowledge that

involves magic stones, but won't tell me what they are?

"Hey, Rokuko. What're magic stones?"

"Eh? Magics stones are just, ummm... Stones filled with mana. You can

usually take them from monsters... Oh, right. Golems usually have magic

stones inside of them. Don't yours?" Nooope. They don't.

I went ahead and had Niku go get the frozen Testle for me. He started

moving once he returned to the dungeon area, but he just turned around to get

more clay and thus immediately froze again. I had to order him to come back

with Niku. Ultimately, I learned that I could order golems from a long

distance using the Menu, and that any orders I gave would preserve even

after they ran out of mana. All good things to know. Thanks, Testle.

"So, in order to have golems mine clay and stone for me from now on...

I'll need some magic stones to experiment with."

"Magic stones? Why don't you try buying some with DP?" Rokuko

casually said that to my offhanded remark.

It was like wool being pulled from my eyes. Holy crap. Is it just me or is

DP way too useful?

"...Dang, I didn't even think about doing that. I can't believe I needed you

to remind me about the DP Catalog... Am I just an idiot? I'm disappointed

with myself..."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

I took a look at the DP Catalog. Magic stones were in the treasure section,

in the same category as jewels. There were varying grades of magic stones

with the cheapest kind being 10 DP each and the most expensive being

several tens of thousands of DP. But for now, I settled with buying just the

cheapest ones to experiment with.

"Oh yeah. Hey, Niku. Can you read and write?"

"...No, I can't. I'm sorry, Master..." Niku lowered her head sadly.

H-Hey, you know I'm not mad, right? You're making me feel bad,

somehow.

"That's okay. Rokuko, teach Niku how to read. I'll let you eat a lot of

melon rolls if she learns well. Same for you, Niku. You can eat as many

hamburgers as you want if you do well. Study hard."

"Eh?! I can eat as many melon rolls as I want?! Okay!"

"C-Can... Can I really?"

Good, good. Hamburgers always made Niku's eyes light up. Thinking

about it, Niku had gotten a lot more lively than she was in the past. The dead

eyes she had when I saved her were completely gone.

Perfect. No kid should ever have to look like that. But you know, dog girls

really do love meat, huh? She'd probably die of happiness if I gave her a beef

steak. I should check the DP Catalog to see if it has those. She might thank

me by letting me rub her feet.

I would need Niku to do work for me outside of the cave before long, so

the sooner she learned to read and write, the better.

Suddenly, it hit me that I had never thought about whether Niku was okay

with being my slave... Though she might've needed to be a slave to go in and

out of the Master Room, so there was no reason for me to go about rocking

that boat. Plus, slaves were probably restrained by some kind of magic in this

world. I doubted it would be easy to just snap my fingers and free her. She

does have a collar around her neck, so... Eh. I'll think about this more later.

I got back to work making Golems while Rokuko taught Niku how to read

and write. Normally it'd be about time for me to go to bed, but there was one

thing I prioritized over sleep: preparations for sleeping really well. I was

prepared to cut down on my sleeping time for the sake of sleeping better!

Yeah, basically, sleep was still the most important thing to me.

I used DP to buy a bunch of magic stones and pickaxes. We still had

3,500 DP left, but that would turn to zero in no time if we wasted too much of

it.

I took one of the magic stones and embedded it within Testle. How longwould he last outside of the dungeon with one of those? To find that out, I

had Testle go outside the dungeon again and start tilling a field. Naturally, I

had turned his arms into hoes beforehand to help him out. There shouldn't be

any problem with leaving him out there on his own. No adventurers would be

coming anytime soon.

With that out of the way, I started to make a human-sized golem. It would

be smart to try making at least one of the normal golems that {Create Golem}

was designed to make.

...

......

Ah. I didn't have enough clay. But that wouldn't be a problem if I just

removed some clay from his core and made him lighter overall. That would

use less resources and make a better golem. Two birds with one stone.

And finishing the new golem was a 10 DP magic stone, the cheapest one

available. With all that done... I had made a golem that could actually move

pretty speedily. His movements were a lot smoother than Testle's. Maybe

because I had used less clay overall? Rokuko looked really surprised after

seeing how smoothly the golem was moving, but I ignored her and had him

start mining into the mountain with a pickaxe. All I had to say was "Use this

to mine deeper into the cave." Easy.

Aaah, I want to use the stone he mines to make a one hundred percent

Stone Golem. I should've withdrawn all the stone those bandits mined instead

of turning it into DP.