Another prayer

Rowena was too young to understand the meaning of prayer but she believed that God listens to prayers. Her prayer of getting a new pair of shoes had never left her mind. Now that Themba was gone she knew that there was no one who would come and rescue her but she kept praying anyway. She was praying for any miracle that could come her way. There were times she would go to a hiding place and cry her eyes out. She would wipe those tears and pretended that she never cried when she got to where she was staying.

Her condition became worse and it was clear that no one was interested in taking good care of her. The time her grandmother was alive too many people would come to their place to ask for help. Her grandmother would help them without asking any questions. Most of those people were relatives and others were friends. All of them would get the help they needed but never returned the favour though. Even now that Rowena was left as an orphan, no one bothered to come and see how she was doing. Rowena felt betrayed and rejected by those who were pretending to be family friends. Instead she was called names. Some would call her a bat for she was a mixture of white and black. They made her feel less of a human because she was a mixed race. Some were calling her a mule ( a mixed breed of a horse and a donkey). A bat is a nocturnal creature that has the features of a mouse and a bird. It flies during the night hence it is associated with evil. She became a loner because other children were bullying her too. "Hey Mlungu! Was the way she was called. She did not like to be called a white person because she believed she was black. She did not know that her father was a white man. It was a normal thing for a child not to be told their background if they were born of an unmarried girl. The child usually takes their mother's surname and becomes the part of the family. Back then the child was not even allowed to be in contact with the family of their father. Their background was not even discussed. If they happened to hear it from another source such matter would not be talked about.

So, Rowena became such child whose nationality was not even talked about except the mockery and insults she was getting. She did not even know the reason she was called such names. She just saw herself as a normal person who had different features that all. Being called names was hurting her very much. She became an isolated figure who was just seen as someone who should run errands for everyone. She was bossed around even by her peers. Sometimes she would run errands for the neighbours in order to get a plate of food. There were few people who felt a little bit of compassion for her but they could not do anything about her situation since they were not related to her. They were just concerned that her life might be in danger because she was eating food from different household. They were scared that she could be poisoned.

Months passed by and there was no one to buy her shoes. She went to school barefooted. In winter her feet would become numb with cold and her heels were cracked. She would be woken up in the early hours of the morning to go to the river or to the shop to buy some groceries before she made tea for everyone. She was always late for school because of the work she was doing. This was too much for the young girl like her. She was doing well at school though. She kept telling herself that she would study hard and become a teacher or a nurse. That was what black children were dreaming of those days. Their career opportunities were limited to those fields. If one became a doctor that was an overrated achievement. Deep down she wanted to be a doctor but she knew she cannot afford the cost behind the career. Then being a nurse or a teacher was her second option. Even that was too good to be true given the situation she was living in. But she kept telling herself that she was going to get in anyway. This was in her prayer list too.

One day at school she was called in to collect a mail. The letter was addressed to Themba. Those days the letters were directed to the school address and their owners would collect them there. Normally the students would bring letters to their parents from the school mail box. So, Rowena was given the letter because she was Themba's niece. Everyone was flabbergasted because they knew that Themba had passed away. Who would write a letter to someone who was dead. That was a question that everyone asked. Rowena was confused. She did not even know what to do with the letter. She put it in her school bag. Some of the her classmates told her to open the letter but she was afraid that she would get into trouble if she did not take it to the elders. At the same time she was scared to bring a letter of a deceased person. She was not sure how other people would react since she was called names already. That might bring her another trouble too. She thought to herself. She kept the letter for days and weeks without opening or giving it to the woman who was keeping looking after her. In fact she was not looking after her. It was just a pretence. She was tempted everytime to open the letter but she couldn't. She would just look at it and cry. She wished Themba was there to read his letter. She wished she could scream and call his name. She imagined hearing his name answering from the grave.