2. Chapter 2

Ladybug noticed a marked shift in Chat’s demeanor towards her in the days following her tiny outburst. He seemed to jog just a bit slower, turning back from time to time in order to make sure she was still there. He needn’t have worried of course. She rolled her eyes at him, sprinting past him and calling out for him to keep up. Seemingly glad to have his old partner back, yet still curious as to what had been afflicting her, he followed. By the time their latest Akuma fight took place though, he was back to his usual, flirtatiously annoying self, her mysterious sickness all but forgotten in his mind.

In fact, it wasn’t until months later that Adrien even recalled the events of that night. It was on a dreary Wednesday, during the peak of midterm seasons. When teachers and students alike dragged their withering selves through the halls in caffeine-induced trances. Adrien, of course, had his own exceptional reasons to be tired, between the influx of holiday shoots as well a marked rise in frequency of akuma attacks (turns out not everyone is so jolly during the most wonderful time of the year), it was a miracle the boy was still upright. So, feeling groggier than he could ever remember being, he shuffled into class, sliding in next to Nino and immediately laying his head down. Just a little rest and then…

“Hey, you awake there bro?” Adrien groaned, rolling his head sideways to glace at his friend’s overly cheery expression. What gave him the right to be so goddamn chipper this early in the morning? As much as he cared for Nino, Adrien didn’t have the energy to wipe the scowl from his face, instead electing to grind the heels of his palms into his eye sockets and growl out an intelligible answer.  His friend just shook a finger at him, tsk-ing like a stern headmaster.

“Aw c’mon, not you too! Nearly everyone in class has been so snippy today, well that or asleep.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder and rolled his eyes dramatically. “I swear I heard Alya snoring earlier.” This earned him a sharp rap on the head for the accused snorer herself.

“Not everyone can be graced with your superhuman ability to stay up for days at a time, Nino.” Adrien nearly fell out his chair as Alya leaned over her desk to grab his friend by the face. Her normally wavy hair had passed the border in to frizz land, and the tangled mass of red locks were now currently splayed over Adrien’s shoulder. For his part, he managed to escape with just a few swipes, sputtering as he pulled a stray hair stuck to his lips.

“You tell me where you’re getting your stash of Mexican energy drinks and I’ll make it worth your while” she was saying, hand folded in a pleading gesture before a very smug Nino.

“Hmmm, no can do missy. That stuff isn’t made to be consumed by mere mortals, and I’m afraid if it were to pass your lips you would explode into a supernova of pure energy.” He ended his sentence with a flourish, before peeking back at a very disappointed Alya.

“Ah you’re useless,” she responded, slumping back into her spot before leaning back in conspiratorially, putting all the persuasion she possessed into her next statement. “You know, you could make the girls of this classroom very happy if you would just co-operate.” She threw in a wink for good measure.

“As if Adrien’s sheer presence didn’t already cover that.” Nino remarked, elbowing the blonde in his tired ribs. Before Adrien had the chance to rebuke that statement, his classmate Mariette walked past, stuttering out her usual (if a bit more tired-sounding) greeting, and rushing to sit down in her usual spot behind him. Nino was the only one with the energy to acknowledge her entrance, shooting her a finger gun before turning back to the previous conversation. “Case in point! No amount of illegal caffeination could rival the pure star power of my best bud!”.

This time it was Alya who interrupted Adrien’s rebuttal. “Alright, I’m gunna be frank with you here, Nino,” she said in her no-nonsense reporter voice, crossing her arms as she made her final offer, “Every girl in class synced-up a few months ago, so I’m sure you can understand the need we have here.” She flexed her hands out imploringly.

Nino’s eyebrows crept up towards the brim of his hat, “Synced-up how, exactly?” Alya sighed loudly, dragging him by the collar toward her to whisper in his ear. Adrien watched his friend’s face morph from curiosity to sheer disbelief in under 30 seconds.

“You’re messing with me. No way that’s even possible!” Alya gave a humorless laugh.

“Yeah? And how would you know?? Trust me, it is a very real phenomenon, you look around you…” She gestured around the room. Nino followed her hand, noting that out of all his fellow classmates, the ladies did seemed to be suffering marginally more than their male counter-parts. Chloe had already experienced no less than three emotional tantrums before the bell had rung, and even sweet Marinette wore a twisted expression as she stared straight forwards at the board. His eyes widened, turning back to a weary Alya.

“Shoot, you’re not kidding are you?”, Her eyes narrowed she shook her head. Nino laid his hand on his heart, leaning forwards solemnly. “In that case, I promise to have a full crate here by tomorrow. Now tell me, would you prefer Lightning Lemon or Gotta-Go Grape?”

“At this point, I’d drink straight-up cat piss if it helped me stay awake.” The bedraggled redhead shot him an appreciative grin before sliding back into her seat. Nino gave her an affirmative thumbs up as the bell rang, signaling the beginning of homeroom.

Adrien sat there ignoring the teacher’s opening remarks, thoroughly confused at the conversation that had just transpired before him. First of all, Nino never, NEVER shared his illegal Mexican energy drinks. Even when Adrien asked for a sip once, his best friend had just shook his head solemnly, saying it was best if he didn’t. Second of all, what was all that business with the whispering? What could Alya have told him that could change his mind so completely? Whatever was happening here had to do with what she mentioned, that whole “syncing-up” thing. Adrien silently resolved to approach Nino about it during lunch break.

“Mr. Agreste, would you mind repeating for the class what I just said?” Oh no…

After what seemed like days of studying and drilling, just when Adrien thought his brain might split in half, they were released for midday break. Nino prattled on about the new album he was currently obsessed with as they walked to the small Café around the corner, a favorite spot for the duo. Winter had well and truly set in, prompting them to take a table inside, as opposed to their usual spot out on the sidewalk.  

“Dude, I’m so serious, it’s a life changing record. Listen to it and you’ll know what I mean.” The waitress swung by, dropping off a plate for each boy and wishing them good luck on their tests.

At the beginning of the school year, Adrien had approached his father, explaining that many of his classmates stuck close to school for lunch and pleaded to be allowed to do the same. Mr. Agreste adamantly disagreed at first, insisting his son eat lunch at home, but once Adrien convinced him all the saved time would be useful for studying, his father gave in, instructing Nathalie to set up a tab at the restraint of his sons choosing.

Nearly every day since, Nino and Adrien had been coming here. This meant they no longer had to put in orders for their lunch, instead having their usual fare dropped off by the now-familiar waitress the moment they sat down. The duo thanked her, their conversation dying down as they dug in.

“Hey, so…” Adrien began, wiping a bit of mustard off his mouth, “What was that whole thing between you and Alya this morning? I was so lost for the whole conversation…”

“You mean the whole energy drink exchange?” Nino shook his head “Yeah, she drives a hard bargain. Now I just have to find a way to get my hands on a crate of the good stuff by tomorrow.’ He stared at his friend over steepled fingers. “My sources will not be pleased...” he finished cryptically.

 “I’m not talking about that part, although I am surprised you gave in.” Aiden shook his head. “I want to know what it is she whispered in your ear to make you change your mind so quickly!” Nino gave a snort.

“Oh man, you are not going to believe this!” Nino snorted out. He leaned in and peeked around the crowed interior before continuing. “Apparently, if girls spend enough time together, they all start to get their periods at the same time.” Nino leaned back in his chair, gesturing the universal “mind blown” symbol around his head. Adrien just looked at him, confusion written prominently on his features.

“What?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think it was possible either but I’ll take Alya’s word for it.” Nino continued, “I mean you saw everyone today. I have to say, as crazy it sounds I can’t help but believe her.”

“I’m…still confused.” Adrien squinted at his friend. “What’s a period?”

I took a good 20 seconds for Nino to process the question.  Once he was sure his friend wasn’t just yanking his chain, he barked out a strangled laugh wiping his hands down his face as Adrien looked on, scowling.

“Oh dude, you’ve be kidding me! I mean, has nobody… haven’t you?? Bro, have you’ve got quite a conversation ahead of you!” At this point, he was near hysterics (probably all the caffeine he had pumping through his system) needing to grip the edge of the table as laughter tore through him. Conversely, Adrien sat with arms crossed, a sour expression plastered across his face. He didn’t like the feeling he was being left out of something.

Finally, as Nino’s laughter died down with a sigh, he turned to the pouting blonde and threw a hand out to grip his shoulder. “Don’t worry man, it’s not your fault you’re clueless. And your old pal here is gunna bring you up to speed.” They both stood then, Nino nudging him through the door.

The boys waved to the owner before stepping back into the brisk weather outside. Adrien opened his mouth to continue his line of questioning, but Nino just raised his hand, silencing his friend with the promise to explain everything once they got back to school.

Back on campus, Alya sat hunched over her history text book, resisting the urge to just lay her head down for a few moments rest. Last night had been rough, there had been another attack on Paris and Alya had a duty to her bloggers to document every kick-butt moment of the awesomeness that is Ladybug and Chat Noir. After snapping countless pictures, she dragged herself home to fully compose and edit a post worthy of the Ladyblog. By the time she was satisfied with her work, it was past midnight and Alya mentally punched herself as she crawled into bed. Of course this morning brought yet another inconvenience, and a quick call to Marinette confirmed that she was not, in fact, alone in her misery.

Although she usually headed home for lunch, that last review reminded Alya of just how much work she had to catch up on. So as Marinette prepared to walk home with her, as per usual, Alya just waved her off, saying she could survive off the granola bar in her backpack. Looking concerned (yet too tired to argue) her best friend reluctantly left, promising to bring back an orange scone, Alya’s favorite.

So here she was, 40 mins later, stomach rumbling and barely a page outlined. Needless to say, a nap sounded glorious at this point. Alya felt her lids dropping, confident she would be woken up by the bell for next period. Just a nice little 15 minute rest is all I need, she thought nodding off. But, of course, before she could fully close her eyes, Alya picked up on Nino’s distinctive laughter echoing across the courtyard.

She groaned, knowing there would be no relaxation for her if that livewire was around. It did strike her odd that the duo was back so early, they usually skirted back into class just on the nick of time. She gathered her materials up and headed over to the table they had settled at. Misery does enjoy company she reasoned.

As she approached, Adrien gave a polite wave. This prompted Nino to whirl in his spot, the strange look on his face growing stranger as he registered Alya’s presence.

“Alright,” she said suspiciously, settling her supplies on the table. “What are you two up to?”

“Oh ho ho, you’ve come just in time!” Nino responded loudly before lowering his voice. “I was just about to give our friend Adrien here… the talk."

Clearly she must have heard him wrong. She glanced between the boys, registering the mischievous glee on one face, along with the slight confusion of the other.  Oh God, he wasn’t kidding.

“You mean, like, The Birds And The Bees spiel?” she questioned.

“Woah there, baby steps Alya.” Nino held his hand up. “Lets just start small.” He nudged Adrien next.

“Ask her what you asked me earlier.”

“Um…What’s a period?” Adrien regretted the question as soon as he saw the surprise on Alya’s face, ignoring his friend’s suppressed chuckles as he felt his cheeks heat up.

“Oh stop that Nino!” Alya snapped, her expression softening as she turned back to Adrien. “Just cause he’s never had anyone to explain it to him doesn’t mean you get to laugh at him.”

Nino sobered, “You’re right, sorry bro.” He crossed his heart and held up a hand before continuing “From here on out, I will be your completely serious guide into the world of Womanhood.” Alya scoffed at that.

Nino turned to her. “And of course you are more than welcome to stick around. You know, you might just learn something.”

“Oh I’ll stick around, but only to correct you when you try to pass on completely false information!”

“I’ll have you know I got a B+ in Health class last year, my best subject being lady problems!” Adrien perked up at his choice of words, a memory sliding back into place.

“The fact that you just referred to Menstruation as ‘lady problems’ only reinforces my decision to stay.” Alya replied. “So go ahead with your lesson, I’ll be sure to cut in when you inevitably mess up.”

Nino took a deep breath, turned to his friend…

And thus began the longest, most awkward 20 minutes of Adrien’s life.

“… so then, on top of all that other gross stuff, girls also have to deal with things like crying and stomachaches..”

“Nope wrong,” Alya cut in for about the 7th time, “It not our stomach that hurts.” She leaned in (and if Adrien could think past the mountain of embarrassment that had been building, he would say she looked like she was about to spout the punchline to a scary story about a man with a hook hand.)

“No, the cramping we feel is the lining of our uterus slowly being torn apart… and expelled.”

Both boys recoiled, unconsciously grabbing at their abdomens. Alya just gave a wise laugh.

“That’s horrible.” Adrien whispered, recalling Lady hunkered over against the wall. Nino looked a bit green.

“Oh it can be,” Alya continued, deriving some sick form of enjoyment from their reactions. Call her a masochist, but she reasoned even though they didn’t have to experience menstruation firsthand, didn’t mean they should know all the gory details. “Like I said before, all girls are different. See like I only get cramps maybe 3 or 4 times a year, but poor Marinette has them every month. Pretty bad too, from what I hear.”

“What’s pretty bad?” poor Marinette herself questioned, arriving to take in the trio. Both boys were staring at the grated table, faraway looks painted across their faces. Conversely, Alya look right at her friend, winking before assuring her it was nothing.

“Well!” she said, pushing herself up and gathering her supplies. “Today was quite educational wasn’t it boys?” They both nodded, still pretty out of it. Marinette glanced over, noticing Adrien’s prominent blush and was suddenly very curious to know just what her spitfire of a best friend could have said to bring the normally very cool Adrien Agreste to such a state.  

The bell rang before she could get a question out though, prompting the students to haul tail back to class. One smug, one confused, and two much wiser than when the day had started.