Twelve

JAPANESE WORDS USED IN THIS CHAPTER AND THEIR MEANING

Shuah. - King

Kyūkyū-bako. - First aid box

Yō moto. - Iodine

Dasshimen - Cotton wool

Hōtai. - Bandage

Ōkyū shochi. - First aid

Caulifla sucked in the air as if nothing had ever been so sweet. It felt as if all her life she had breathed in the stale air only to be freed at this windy night. The fragrance of summer grasses and meadow flowers had never been apparent to her before, but now they jumped out at her like a child giving his mother a hug after not seeing her in a long while.

Heaving a deep sigh she turned around. Her eyes wondered up the tall and magnificent palace but stopped as soon as she saw a man arrested in royal clothing, staring down at her.

Looking at her as though he could see through her.

Through her soul.

She dare not move, I dare not even breathe. She was frozen to the spot. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest...The Shuah was looking at her from his window. What has she gotten herself into?

She started walking away in fear, but kicked her left feet on a stone which she had not seen, making her fall. She stood up quickly and tried to walk away but she could not ask her feet could not carry her weight anymore.

She looked up in pain and he was not where she had seen him. He was gone. She let out a sign of relief as she hugged herself, breathing in fresh air and trying to steady her heartbeat.

She did not know how long she had stood there, trying to walk but soon, she felt deep heavy breathes sound nearby, making her jilt in realization. The hairs on her arms stood to attention, as a militia of chills march down her spine. Is there something there or was it just her imagination?

The beating gets louder and louder, surely if there is something there, it could hear this cacophonous thrumming rhythm. The sound is intolerable, her breathes get deeper and deeper by the second. And then she turned around.

Standing before her was the Shuah Azar, looking ever so handsome. Caulifla had to look away because if she continued admiring his beautiful features, she would drool over him.

"Salām, asr bekheir Shuah" (Good evening Shuah)

She bowed her head as she greeted the Shuah.

"Daijōbudesuka? Anata ga taoreta no o mimashita. Kega o shite imasu ka?"

(Are you ok? I saw that you had fallen. Are you hurt?) He asked, his eyes portraying sorry and care.

"I am fine my Lord, please do not worry about a worthless servant like me. I am not worthy of your presence alone" She said, her face still bowed as a sign of total respect to the King.

She hear him sigh and she felt cold but soothing hands on her chin. He raised her head up till she was able to see her face in his dazzling green eyes.

"Why are you scared of me?" he asked, his voice portraying hurt and pain.

"To be scared of you is what your citizens and everyone around are expected to be whenever around you My Lord"

"It hurts when I always feel you are too are scared of me. I do not know why Caulifla. People bow down in reverence to me everyday but when you do that, it feels not right" He said, removing her hair from her face.

"But it will seem like disrespecting you My Lord" She whispered, still looking into his eyes.

"Then so be it Caulifla. Did you hurt yourself?" He asked, scanning her body with his eyes just to be sure there are no injuries.

"No My Lord, i am fine." She said as she limped, whimpering as she did so.

She shrieked as she felt handsome on her arms and legs. Her heart beat faster as she felt strong arms lifting her up in bridal style, carrying her in its strong arms.

Her eyes were closed s she felt the person with the strong arms walking. Opening her eyes, she saw she was in the arms of Shuah Azar.

She was in the King's arms.

She did not know what to make out of it but all that kept ringing in her head was the fact that she was right there.....

In his arms.

She was being carried by the Almighty Shuah Azar, the most powerful King ever known on earth. She unknowingly snuggled into him as they went in, just because of the constant stares on them. Despite her bearing heart, she felt safe.

She felt safe in his arms.

She felt as if she belonged there, right in his arms. She felt it was her right to feel him and be so close to him just like the way she was with him at that moment.

She suddenly felt so comfortable, her heart, slowing down its constant beating. She felt so comfortable that she did not realize he had already reached the King's quarters nor did she notice when he had entered her room. All she just wanted was for the warmth to last. She wanted to be there, close to him no leaving there a single second.

But her being comfortable was short-lived as the King sat her down on the king-sized bed right in the middle of the room. It was then she had noticed he had denied her of the warmth she had enjoyed some moments ago and then she realized that they were in her room.

"I can do that myself Oh Shuah. Please do not humiliate me by exerting your care on a helpless maid" Caulifla said as she tried to stand, with the purpose of going into the bathroom.

But he heard none of it as he dragged her to the bed, making her sit up on her bed. Taking her injured leg, he examined it and afterwards took some warm water from the bathroom to wash the blood off. He left immediately and came back with a very old Kyūkyū-bako. He opened it and brought out an Yō moto, putting it on a Dasshimen.

She had hissed in pain when he had used the Dasshimen to clean her wound. He afterwards covered the injury with Hōtai.

Caulifla watched as he administered Ōkyū shochito her wound. For a moment, she thought he was a god.

A handsome demi god.

A handsome god who seemed to care for her so much.

She did not know why but somehow she felt so drawn to him, she felt something like a force pulling her towards him.

She pictured herself in a storm, a storm with a strong howling wind. She saw him looking so angelic in the gentle center, in the middle of it all. She wasted not a moment as she ran to his side, because it was the only place safe. She could feel the watchers that disapprove and the judgement they feel so entitled to. She wondered what they would have her do, when the only place so safe and so comfortable was right there beside him?

Right there in his arms.

It felt as if everyone wanted her to save them all from destruction. But do they really want her to do it alone? Do they really want her to lift the world in one arm? Push back the tide with only her mind? Because what they expect is equally impossible. Every person needs a harbour, a secure attachment of love - for without one we are in such pain, so lost, shutting down. Then life becomes a torture we are expected to endure, surviving, not living.

Were it not for him, Were it not for her Azar, were it not for the man she cared for so much, there would be no relief, no emotional morphine. He felt for like a moment her hero and also her heroin. Of course she suddenly felt addicted to him - but for every reason that is pure and right.

He suddenly felt like safety and love, an anchor she could suddenly hold onto, that she tether herself to because she wanted to. So for those watchers who have plenty, who have never felt the brutal sting of abuse, the kind that shatters all emotional bonds, take their opinions and bury them in tar. For "freedom" to make all new friends and family is just another abuse, it is akin to the freedom to wonder a desert with no water. It is a sentence of pain - loneliness is pain. "Tough love" is abuse.

She was in her own world, more like a trance. She never even noticed the King was done. She did not even hear when he had called her name. But only when he had touched her face, only when he had come closer, only when he had used his hand to remove her hair from her face did she wake up from her trance to meet his everything pure green eyes like that of emerald, looking into her eyes as if he could see through her.

As if he could see through her soul.

"Caulifla" He whispered her name as she felt the ever closeness between them.

"My Lord" She answered in a whisper, closing her eyes, trying to stop her ever nervous heartbeat.

"Azar, just Azar Caulifla" He had heard him say, and before she could understand what he had meant, she felt his lips on hers, and that was when she opened her eyes in utter surprise.

But she felt comfortable, she didn't have the urge to push him away. She did not even think of the fact that he had stolen her first kiss nor did she think of him being married seven times. Surprisingly it did not feel that what they were doing was bad. It felt more like heaven....