Nightmares

A run-down neighbourhood. That was where I was born in. Hunger, poverty and harsh living conditions were a part of daily life. But the people were most kind, they would share any food they found and fed the children as much as they could.

They said that my parents left to find food but they never returned. I learnt later on that they committed suicide out of utter disability to raise me. It made no difference because the entire neighbourhood adopted me.

We were family. As I grew with my immense interest and knack in coding, hacking was what I thought, an excellent way for all of us in the locality to escape poverty. Illegal businesses proved to be the ideal target, just a few million dollars won't make any difference.

As a wild and irrational 18 year old, I thought the theft would go unnoticed. I was wrong. Although I managed to distribute the money among the residents, I was put in the hitlist in an instant.

That was when Gabriel approached me and offered the job of being a legal hacker. She also promised safety and peace for me and the residents in return for my service.

Honestly, the offer was attractive and I accepted instantly. Many of the children in the locality did not have a real name including me, it was simply 'little one' or 'kid'. And that continued on naturally after I became an agent which solely depended on hiding identities with made up names like George or Nathaniel.

I was recruited as an agent but there were conditions added like losing contact with the people I grew up with and letting go of any relationships or commitments. These were all acceptable to me as long as there were no further problems to the neighborhood where I lived in. After 6 years, the experience I raised from various crimes got me a team with two police officers, Derek and Diana.

My eyes opened. It felt odd recollecting those old memories. Life changed so much after the team formed. These twins were half responsible for my life changing drastically.

They were really loyal even after I almost put their lives at jeopardy once, argued that I was learning too and wanted me to continue as their partner. When I first met them, they were non sociable and kept to themselves. Can't blame them, we all have our own secrets.

But they proved to be outstanding officers and we became comfortable with each other. They are a pain in the ass sometimes, the feeling is mutual though. It is a stable relationship balancing between professional and personal.

And now, this mission has brought me to Watford to face my worst fears. The Terranova gang, whose illegal business I stole all that money from. It is true that I find them fascinating, after all they lurk in the shadows just like me.

However, the main reason of tailing their activities is to find out their weakness. A weakness that I can use as my ticket to escape the clutches of death.

************************************

After pulling off a late nighter filled with training activities, Derek and I returned home famished. Settling upon pizzas as a late night snack, we leant onto each other watching TV.

We have been doing a lot of home cooking so it was fair to order out now and then without guilt. It's a rare occurrence to have such a peaceful night time with Derek lately, especially after the war declaration by Lansky.

It was such a bad idea and test of times for us as well. A lot of murders have been committed lately, sometimes the Terranova's men but mostly Lansky's. Although letting two mafia groups fight to death is a favourable situation for us, we cannot have murders happening like it's a common thing in Watford.

Gabriel has been facing the fires and assured the government officials of taking proper action soon. We are indeed close to the putting an end to the Lansky gang. Just a few more days were all that remained to destroy the first target.

The television screen blacked out. I straightened and found the remote control in Derek's hand.

"What's wrong twinnie?"

"D, I have been thinking about it and have to come to a conclusion… I wish to listen about your nightmares."

His face showed so much sincerity that it scared me. We shut off our past memories completely for our own peace. If my nightmares trigger something in Derek, it would make life hard for him.

"Should we order something more to go with the pizza?"

"Don't pretend like you didn't hear that D."

I let out a sigh in exasperation.

"I don't think it would do you any good Derek."

"I am ready" he assured. He gave a squeeze on my shoulder and nodded.

I sighed again.

"Fine. But if I feel like it's going bad, I will stop. Okay?"

"Okay"

"Here goes. My nightmare starts off as a beautiful dream. A garden filled with bright white light, there were different coloured poppies growing on the ground. The faces are not visible but the voices are there, mixed up. There is this name they call me with, when reaching out to me with warm hands but I forget it the moment I wake up. Soon darkness shadows the place with everyone there turning their backs away from me, the words repeat 'we don't need you anymore'. Everytime that happened, I was never a strong police officer. I was this little girl running behind them screaming 'don't leave me'."

Derek was staring at me, I hadn't realised the tears flowing out. Wiping it off, I sunk into Derek's shoulder. He embraced me and we stayed like that for a while.

"I am sorry" he whispered softly and withdrew.

"Are you okay?" I mumbled due to his palms holding my face.

"I am…I am sorry I don't remember nor did I ask you about this for years…"

"Derek, are you alright?" I insisted.

"Yes."

"that's good. Now, let go of my face" I said giggling.

"Diana, listen. I understand that the past doesn't leave us. But I want you to direct your mind towards our adoptive parents. They gave us a lot. When they adopted us out of that care home, things were difficult and we had to adjust to actual strangers. Nonetheless, dad and mom patiently waited and gave us the time and space we needed. It is time to focus on our present."

"I have been trying as much as possible Derek but these nightmares are clashing every time. This unappeasable yearn doesn't go away. What do I do?"

"I am going to help you from now on. You can share the nightmares with me and we can discuss on how to change that. Also, I will place pictures of mom, dad and us at random points in the house. Seeing those pictures often will help normalise things."

"Okay"

The following day evening, Nate gave us the news about the SIO raid on the Lansky gang. Basically, it's the SWAT team, couple of detectives and agents who make a flash flood search upon the locations based on the evidences we provide.

Then the goods are seized, places sealed off for good and arrests made. It was scheduled in five days so we are very close to our first target capture. We were confident about our first victory but no one expected what happened next.