Bed Bugs

I suddenly hated my sense of fashion.

I had woken up before the sun had even peaked the horizon just to get ready and spent a good thirty minutes after my bath sitting on my bed and contemplating all my life decisions.

All my clothes were the damn same and I could only decide on a white shirt that didn't look or smell as bad as the rest and my usual black hunting trousers. Why I was getting dolled up for playing tour guide to a man that would've easily walked past me on the street, I couldn't have told you.

I even trimmed and brushed my beard for once.

"Why do you smell clean?"

"Sofia, please," I begged from my seat by the bar, unable to stop my leg from shaking.

She even went as far as to sniff my shirt, stepping back with an empty try in her hands and giving him a quick once over with her scrutinizing light brown eyes.

"Your hair's all tied up, your beard doesn't look as scruffy and you're wearing your good shirt."

By that point, even their chef had walked out of the kitchen to look at what Sofia was blasting off into the air. Chef Maurice's mouth fell open as he moved to stand beside Sofia.

"He even came down before any customers," the chef muttered, looking around the empty floor like the guests would've appeared out of thin air. "Are you dying?"

I gave him a blank stare, not really enjoying what the two were implying. I thought I looked good every day.

Sofia's big eyes narrowed at me, her freckled nose scrunched up as she wracked her too big a brain. I wasn't going to say a thing even if she guessed right.

"No fucking way," she gasped, realization hitting her.

"You've got to stop swearing before your mom comes for me again."

"Fuck that. You got a date with him!" she yelled as she pointed an accusing finger at me.

Why is she acting like I just stole her boyfriend?

"It's not a date," I mumbled, a little sad by that fact.

"I can't believe he'd agree to go on a date with you of all people! That poor, kind stranger!"

She's not listening to me at all.

"Sofia, it's not a date. I just offered to show him around town. I'm an unpaid tour guide."

"Should I make sandwiches for your date?" Maurice asked, a sweet smile on his elderly face. I couldn't even get mad at the man. He was as sweet as honey.

"But it's not!" I insisted even as the older man went into the kitchen listing off ingredients for his sandwiches.

"Hey, Mr. Di."

I froze at Sofia calling me that. And only used my nickname when she was threatening me.

She got all close to my face and placed a hand on the counter beside me, glaring with fire in her eyes.

Ah. So she is threatening me.

"If he never comes back, I'll put bed bugs in your bed."

"They'll spread to the guests." That was really all I could've come up with.

"Then don't fuck this up. A face like that is one in a million and you will not deprive me of that." Then she left, fixing her little apron, then moving to clean the tables.

I loved how nobody seemed to think that I would be the one negatively affected during this da—outing.

—————

I was most definitely the only one negatively affected.

It was not fair, and I'd say it again, It simply was not fair the way the nobleman looked, breathed,walked—existed.

The man had walked down the stairs, looking like he rolled out of bed dripping sex appeal. He wore a shirt with the lowest V line I'd ever seen. I might've been dramatic, but the peak of the tattoo on his chest was too much for my little heart.

As we both walked down the ever busy streets of my hometown, I couldn't help but notice the amount of stares we—he—was getting from just about everyone.

"What are these, Diego?"

And the way the man wistfully said my name was going to make me pass out on the street.

"We call them Acarajé. They're deep fried fritters made out of beans, shrimp and other things. You want one?" I was so proud of myself for sounding more relaxed than I felt.

"I'll give you two for free," Mrs Rosa said from behind her stall, her eyes practically turning into hearts as she stared at Marcellus.

He gave her a smile, a smile I'm sure reached his eyes under his dark sunglasses. "I can't take these for free. Your precious hands must've worked hard to produce them."

The old woman nearly fainted then and there and I was starting to feel like an invisible squid beside the nobleman.

"What? No free fritters for lil ol me? I thought we had a special relationship, Rosa." I asked jokingly, batting my eyelashes for good measure.

I laughed heartily at the look of disgust she gave me. "Keep your flirting for your girls and boys. And help me bag these for your friend."

"Isn't that your job?"

"Want me to get Maria?"

I immediately wrapped the five fritters up and paid my share before dragging Marcellus away from that evil hag.

"Maria?" Marcellus asked with a bit of laughter in his voice.

"Don't even ask," I groaned, offering the fritters to my guest as we stopped by some benches in the town square. "And this is the town square. Loads of tourists, even more vendors and a bunch of old buildings. That's pretty much the entire town. Only took us an afternoon to see it all."

I sat down on the bench and sighed heavily. My body wasn't like it used to be.

I glanced up to see Marcellus munching on the fritters, catching a glimpse of his eyes under his glasses. They barre twinkling with excitement, even if the rest of his face didn't show it. They followed the busy people milling about the streets then the old architecture then the vendors, darting from left to right and up and down.

My eyes zeroed in on his lips, watching as his pink tongue licked a crumb from the top of his lip and I couldn't stop myself from groaning.

Marcellus immediately looked back at me, head tilted to the side like he'd done the other day.

Fuck me, he's cute.

"Are you alright, Diego? You must be tired. You can head back."

I knew he was trying to be courteous but the last thing I wanted to do was leave my guest in that town full of vultures.

If there was one thing I knew about my people, it was that there was no way they would've left a beauty like Marcellus alone. There was a reason people in their kingdom called Aurorans 'Seekers of Beauty.' Our patron god was the goddess of arts and beauty, for gods' sakes. It was our very nature.

And sure, a small part of me was feeling a bit territorial about the nobleman but there were definitely more pure reasons in there somewhere. Definitely.

"Nah, don't worry about it." I smiled up at him. "Just need a short break then dan show you my favorite spot. It's a bit of a walk though. You up for it?"

The excited smile that spread across Marcellus' face could've rivaled the brightness of the sun. Even his cute canines peaked through.

"But of course!"

———————

Okay. I really do need to start working out again, I thought as I took one more step up the blasted hill.

I'd have usually taken the shorter route but my dumbass wanted to spend a little more time with my guest.

"Just up this hill, correct?" Marcellus asked from beside me, not a hair out of place and looking just dandy. Man wasn't even panting.

"Yep," I breathed out, hands on my knees as strands of hair were escaping the ponytail I'd spent an embarrassingly long time doing.

It was almost sunset and I needed to get us up there before that started. It didn't really help my ego that a frailer-looking nobleman was doing better than me at the climb up.

"Understood."

What did you understand?

Next thing I knew, my feet were no longer on the ground and I was being carried effortlessly by the man that I'd just previously thought of as frailer.

"Just hang on tight," Marcellus whispered into my ear and I at least knew it would've been inappropriate to moan out loud so I bit my lip.

Then the man started moving and I had to wrap my hands around his neck, scared I'd fall with how fast his feet was moving.

I kept my eyes closed to stop dust from getting in em and after what felt like a minute at most, all movement stopped.

"You can open your eyes now, Diego."

I don't quite like that cheeky tone, young man.

I did as was told and wouldn't ya believe it? We were at the top.

"You can use magic, huh."

"Most nobles can where I'm from, as far as I'm aware. Some adventurers as well, I'm sure you know."

He sounded like he was trying not to laugh and I appreciated that.

They at least made it just when the sun was beginning to set and the view was quite glorious. They could easily see the town and further beyond it. Some hills, mountains and glimpses of further. It was actually this view that first inspired me to become an adventurer.

"Are you going to put me down anytime soon?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. My mistake. You're quite light so I forgot."

Now he's just fucking with me. I'm almost 200 pounds.

Marcellus let me down gently before going back to gazing at the view. He even took off his glasses, despite his light-sensitive eyes, like he'd said back at the inn.

"I almost wish we'd taken those sandwiches Maurice offered," I mumble as I kept telling myself to look at the damned scenery but couldn't take my eyes off the nobleman.

"It would've made for a nice picnic, no?" Marcellus answered, a peaceful look on his face. "Thank you, by the way. I might've said so prior, but thank you for this experience. I believe it was more worthwhile than trying to explore the town on my own."

I immediately moved my gaze to the horizon when I sensed he was going to look at me.

"Ah, it was nothing. Got me to stretch my old legs at the very least."

"You're hardly old, Diego."

I laughed. "Save that flirty talk for the grannies. I'm thirty going thirty-five. I'm at the very least older than you."

Marcellus snorted a laugh at that though I wasn't sure why what I said was funny. I didn't really care though, because that snort was by far the cutest thing the already cute man had done all day.

"I'll keep that in mind," the man said, laughter still in his voice.

They stood there in silence for a moment before sitting on the ground. Not before I placed my brown jacket on the ground and insisted Marcellus used it. I wasn't trying to be gentlemanly. The thought of clothes more expensive than my land getting dirt on them made me panic slightly.

It was a nice way to end another fairly peaceful day, even though the addition of Marcellus had made it more heart pounding than usual. They continued to stare out until the sun had finally set then they made to leave.

As I was picking up my jacket, Marcellus spoke.

"So, would you say this was a good date? I'd hardly want Miss Sofia to infest your inn with bed bugs."

I'm going to fire her as soon as I get back, by the gods.