What is this garbage?!

I have no idea how long it took me to wake up once more. It truly felt like I was being squished and pulled apart as I was transmigrated. It was almost as if I had a long uncomfortable slumber and I have just awoken.

The first thing I see is a white ceiling with a beautiful chandelier-like lamp, made small enough for a one-person bedroom. 'Well at least I didn't transmigrate into someone poor' I can't help but think as I slowly get up from the bed.

Looking around the room it is filled with all kinds of weird baubles I have never seen before as a cultivator. 'I wonder in what realm I woke up' I think as I go through the room, finding a wardrobe for me to change.

As I go to check it out I can't help but wonder why this body feels so sluggish. Just as I am about to check the cultivation of my body I am suddenly bombarded by memories from the body I am in.

"Fuck that hurts! Why does this hurt so much!" I can't help but scream as I finally realize what's wrong!

"What is this garbage?!?!? No cultivation!?!? And who would name their planet after dirt??" Xiao Wu says as he realizes he has been transmigrated to the planet earth.

"Damn it, who would have known I would transmigrate to such a garbage planet? It's probably in the lowest realm possible if it doesn't even have cultivation! First I get cucked, then I get transmigrated as some low-level mortal in the lowest realm possible!" I say in anger and frustration.

I forcefully calm myself down, drawing on aeons of experience, trying to come up with a plan. 'Where there is life, there is cultivation. That is a fundamental rule of the universe. Either these earthlings are retards that can't feel cultivation whatsoever or there is so little Qi in the realm that no one has ever noticed.'

Slowly I start a breathing exercise to try and find the Qi in this realm. It's quite difficult as it's been literal centuries since I first started cultivation but everyone has to start somewhere. It is only with my vast experience that I start to notice minuscule amounts of Qi in the air. However, the answer only makes me angrier.

'Fuck, even an ant had more Qi inside it than all of the Qi being generated by this planet! No wonder no one knows what cultivation is. What backwater realm have I ended up in?

Once again calming myself, I tell myself that where there is a will, there is a way. After all, I will have my revenge on that Yuan Min and my slut mom!

For some reason, thinking of that final moment springs a weird feeling in this body. Looking down, Xiao Wu realizes he got a hard-on thinking of it. 'Fuck, why did my body do that?!?! Did I transmigrate into a cuck?!?!' I think as I quickly go through the memories once more. Luckily I didn't, as this body has a girlfriend, and a hot one to boot!

Then why did I get hard? Maybe it's because this body has never experienced sex before? Yes, that's it! I'll just have to solve that.

Curious about what his goods will look like, Xiao Wu quickly looks around to make sure he is alone before getting rid of his pants as he inspects them.

'Fuck, no wonder this body never had sex. I would be ashamed as well if I was walking around with this!' I think as I realize my dong is only 3 inches! No wonder he always delayed going to the next step with his girlfriend.

Realizing he doesn't even know the name of this body he dives in once more realizing he transmigrated into someone who was also named Xiao Wu, so he won't have to change his name luckily.

The body he is currently in is truly pathetic. Not an inch of muscle is visible in this body as it's never been trained before. Besides that, the looks are completely average. Just a face in the crowd. This guy was lucky he was childhood friends with his current girlfriend or he would never get such a hot piece of ass!

Just as I am about to check out the rest of my life I suddenly get called down by someone.

"Xiao Wu! Please come down for breakfast or you're going to miss your bus!"

Shoving all of this new information into the back of my mind I quickly follow the routine of this body, putting on a set of clothes before getting the schoolbag and going down.

Downstairs Xiao Wu is treated to quite the sight as 2 beautiful women are sitting at the table. Quickly recalling them he realizes that one of them is Xiao Wu's adoptive mother, Evelynn, and the other is her daughter, madison.

Evelynn is the perfect milf. Nice big and firm mommy milkers with a mature look to herself as she's dressed in business clothes, making her look even sexier. She might be in her late 30s but she looks like she's still in her twenties. She works as one of the board members of a big business, making us all quite well off. Madison is like a younger version of her with decently sized tits but a huge ass and a cute face. That in combination with the tight clothes she's wearing makes her look like a sexy teenager all kinds of guys would want to bang. She's 19 years old and has just started going to university.

For some reason whenever his body thinks of indecent things he would do to them it feels bad, making him think that the remnants of this body are against doing anything to its family, even if he's adopted. 'Well, there are always some other women I can go after. Too bad since they look so hot. Then again, I'll need to get my cultivation up if I don't want to embarrass myself with my little brother.

"Good morning everyone, hope you all had a good evening," I say as a standard greeting as I start eating breakfast. 'This food is disgusting! How can people eat this?' Xiao Wu thinks as for the last few centuries he has only eaten the finest food in the celestial realm, making him have too high expectations.

Quickly shoving the disgusting food down my throat I can't wait to find some way to advance my cultivation. If I get it high enough I won't have to eat this garbage. Everything in this realm is garbage! Well, everything besides the women.

Now that I think about it, Evelynn is way too hot to not have a cultivation. She's almost comparable with one of my wives from the celestial realm. If this is what she looks like now, what would she look like when cultivating?

Wondering about the peculiarities of this realm I quickly finish breakfast before saying my goodbyes and heading for the bus. As I'm heading out, I wonder how they power their devices if they don't have Qi. 'I guess I'll have all the time in the world to find out.' I think as the I see the bus approach.