Harry’s Little Black Book

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works, if you recognise it from somewhere else, surprise it isn't mine.

Betad by morde24, Atrius, Hermes, Priapus, Marethyu, Old man of the mountain and TheDonFluffles

Chapter 03: Harry's Little Black Book

"Another marriage offer, from the Chang family this time," I say with a bemused tone, making Draco chuckle as I put it onto the pile for marriage contracts, it's the smallest pile but it's also rather worryingly large.

"Cho Chang is a second year Ravenclaw, she's pretty cute if you have a thing for asian girls," Draco adds, making me turn to him. "Her family is pretty powerful back in China, my father does business with them."

"How do you seem to know everyone," I ask, making him smirk with that superior look he definitely practices in the mirror every morning.

"Who you know is just as important as what you know, I at least know of every pureblood student and any important half-bloods," Draco explains, reading a letter. "This one is another fanmail, I don't know the name and it sounds like they're an adult. Probably a half-blood or muggleborn."

As he speaks, he adds the letter to the largest pile, fanmail. It's a massive pile and almost every letter has gone onto it so far.

"Oh, this is recent. It's an interview request from the Daily Prophet, looks like they sent it after you were spotted in Diagon Alley," Draco says, adding it to a smaller pile for professional requests.

Things like sponsorships, interviews and the likes. There's quite a few of those.

"Another one? This is recent as well, for Lavender Brown, isn't she a Gryffindor in our year?" I ask, finding a picture of the cute, and admittedly large-breasted girl smiling for the camera.

"Yup, she's a half-blood but her mother is from a pretty old line, shame she married a muggle of all things," Draco says with a slight sneer.

Draco doesn't particularly try to hide his disdain for our non-magical counterparts, he acted like I told him I'd grown up in literal hell when I told him I was raised by my muggle relatives.

As someone who grew up amongst muggles, I don't look too fondly on them either. I have no real quarrel with them, beyond my thieving aunt and uncle, but I've already decided that the magical world is far more interesting to me.

I don't even have a real issue with Dudder's, he's a spoiled idiot but he's a result of how he was raised. I pity him more than anything, he'll never amount to anything thanks to those two idiots.

I definitely don't have any issues with muggleborns, given that my mother was one. I don't know anything about Lily Potter, but I know Petunia was jealous of her and that's enough for me to like her.

That fact that Petunia told me my parents were drunk deadbeats who died in a car crash is another reason I'm going to get revenge on the Dursleys.

I haven't been able to ask anyone yet, but just looking at my family accounts shows how wrong that was. James Potter got his wages paid by the Auror division of the Ministry of Magic, while Lily was getting a smaller wage that was just labelled 'Charms Apprenticeship'.

I've done my research, and Aurors are the magical equivalent of law enforcement while apprenticeships are just further education after finishing your Newts.

It looks like she either stopped or took a break from her apprenticeship after I was born, but neither of them were 'deadbeats'.

I don't know about drunks, but somehow I doubt Petunia and Vernon are trustworthy sources.

"She's friends with Parvati Patil, a pureblood from a very influential Indian family," Draco continues, making me blink as I read the next letter.

"Huh, I've got one for Parvati as well… and her sister?" I say, my tone more questioning as I read over the next letter.

"Oh?" Draco asks, making me frown.

"If I'm reading this right, it's an offer to meet with them and l take either Parvati or Padma as a wife, with the other becoming a mistress/concubine," I say, making Draco chuckle.

"Yeah, sounds about right. I wouldn't say that's normal, but it probably won't be the last," Draco chuckles. "Not interested? It's a pretty good offer," Draco teases.

"I've been in the magical world for all of a month, I don't think agreeing to any contracts is a good idea," I say bluntly, making him nod.

"Honestly, that's smart. You really should get a contract lawyer to help you with some of these," Draco advises, opening another letter. "It's not going to be fun turning all these down."

"Ugh, don't remind me. Well, at least you're going to get plenty of work, girl," I say, stroking my still unnamed owl's feathers.

She looks pleased by the promise of work, I really do need to find a name that suits her but none of the ones I've come up with seem to fit.

"Would now be a good time to point out that you're expected to turn down the ones who you 'know' in person? Which means any of the girls who are in Hogwarts, it'd be seen as a slight to send a letter," Draco advises, clearly taking amusement in my situation.

I don't blame him, I'd find this just as funny in his position.

"Wonderful, I'm curious, are you in a marriage contract?" I ask, making him shrug.

"My family are in negotiations with the Parkinson and the Greengrass families, it's why Pansy keeps making eyes at me and why Daphne keeps glaring at me. My father wants me to marry Greengrass, they're very wealthy and well connected, but Parkinson is the backup," Draco explains.

"And the Parkinsons don't mind being the backup?" I ask, making him snort.

"They came to us, and they're a much smaller and less powerful family," Draco said simply. "Honestly, I'm hoping for Daphne. I know she hates me, and pretty much everyone else, now that I think of it, but a life married to Pansy isn't something I'd wish on a Weasley."

"Oh? Is she that bad?" I ask, reading another fanmail. Heh, Susan Bones? Isn't she the red headed Hufflepuff in our year?

This was obviously written years ago, childish handwriting and terminology, but it's still funny. Not that I plan to use it to tease or bully her, I'm not that petty.

"Aside from her face? I mean, she's not Bulstrode but Pansy is a solid four out of ten, and her personality drops it to a two," Draco snorts.

I did get that impression from her, if it wasn't for her almost squashed nose she'd be a very plain girl and she does seem like a bit of a bitch. She keeps glaring at me whenever she sees me with Draco.

"You're almost lucky in that regard, since you'll get to decide on your own wife, or even wives," Draco says, before laughing. "You realise that when word gets out that you're the heir of both the Potter and the Black houses, you'll probably end up with twice as many offers?"

"Yeah, I definitely need a contract lawyer, or just an adviser. I've never had to worry about politics before," I admit as I read an offer from the Abbot family, making him nod.

Hannah Abbot? Another one in my year.

"Honestly, what was Dumbledore thinking? He knows you are the next Lord Potter-Black, he must be barmy to just leave you in the muggle world with no preparation," Draco sneers.

I get the feeling a lot of Slytherins don't particularly like Dumbledore, but I can't disagree. I'd be in a much better position if I grew up preparing for this shit.

"Another contract, this one is… odd. It's from some Eastern European family from the name and it's both an offer to marry their daughter and a demand that I duel their champion if I refuse," I say in bemusement, making Draco blink.

"Challenging a thirteen year old to a duel? You know, technically I think you could have Dumbledore fight that duel on your behalf since he's been your magical guardian," Draco points out, making me chuckle.

I've read up on Dumbledore, something tells me they would change their mind rather quickly if they realised they'd have to duel him instead of me.

Opening the next letter, I pause as a photo falls out of it. Picking it up, I freeze as I turn it over.

Draco is thankfully reading another fanmail, making fun of the child who wrote it and doesn't notice my shock before I cover it up.

In the picture, a very attractive dark-skinned girl smiles at the camera as she poses, completely naked with everything on display, before she bursts into laughter and the scene resets.

Two more pictures are in the same envelope, one of a light skinned girl who poses proudly several times for the camera, also giggling in an almost intoxicated way, and the third of a far more embarrassed girl who kept her panties on, trying to cover her breasts with one arm as she poses, clearly listening to someone behind the camera.

The letter is dated on my thirteenth birthday, with the letter itself being partially stained and full of misspellings as the three older girls offer to 'make me a man' when I get to Hogwarts.

They didn't put their names on it, instead placing three kiss marks on the bottom, red lipstick stains on with the initials 'AJ, AS and KB' under them.

Draco could probably tell me who they are, but the letter gets placed next to me as I chuckle. It's nice to know I'm so famous that I'm even on the minds of drunken teenage girls.

One last glance at the first picture makes me chuckle as I spot the clearly empty bottle of some kind of rum or whiskey.

The sorting goes on a little longer before Draco glances at the clock on my wall, his eyes widening.

"Wait, it's that late already? Crap, I need to get started on my potions assignment. Trust Professor Snape to give homework this early," Draco sighs, standing up as he looks over the massive pile of unsorted letters. "This is going to take ages."

He's not wrong, also I already did that assignment. Snape doesn't seem like the kind of teacher who would accept me being late.

"Yup, and it's probably going to get worse," I say, making him chuckle.

"Well, good luck and put any funny ones aside, I know some of the people who sent those letters. I'm not gonna use it, but at the very least it's funny to know they wrote such adoring fan mail," Draco chuckles.

"I blame those bloody books, making me look like a storybook hero who has a pet dragon and studied under Merlin, who even authorised them?" I ask, making Draco smirk.

I am getting a cut from those books as it turns out, I noticed that while unravelling the tangled web that is the Potter Vaults. Same with the toy line.

"The only person who could, Dumbledore," Draco points out, making me sigh as he leaves.

He's probably right, and I suppose I can see why. The wizarding world apparently needed a hero, and some baby still wearing diapers was the best they could find.

Continuing to sort the letters myself, I get an idea as I read, specifically as I find a letter from a Lady Natalina Zabini offering herself as my mistress, saying I needed an adult hand to teach me.

The letter came with almost a dozen photos, either nude or in very revealing clothes. I'm pretty sure she's Blaise's mother, which is pretty funny even if I don't haven't spoken to the other Slytherin boy yet.

One of the things I bought during my shopping was a bunch of blank enchanted books I could use for my notes, with practically an unlimited number of pages, damage-resistant charms and the ability to pull pages out and put them back in a different order.

I got one for every subject (which I would fill with notes from now to graduation), then a bunch of spares just in case.

Opening up my book, I start to write.

The plan is simple, I want a book which I can use to keep track of all these names. Draco is clearly right, knowing who is who will be important going forwards and I'm playing catch up.

Making different sections, I list all the teachers, the students (sorted by house, then year) and the nobles whose names I've learnt with everything I know about them.

My little black book doesn't have any juicy secrets in it just yet, but I can work on it during my time in Hogwarts and build quite the little database on my peers.

Looking at Marcus Flint's section, I lean back with a slight smirk as I start to work out his little friend group, because the more I know about his clique, the easier I'll be able to tear it apart and turn them on their idiot of a leader.

Rumours, secrets, talents, connections, grudges, my little black book will slowly fill with all these things.

I'll have to keep it safe, but there were spells for that in the book of security charms that someone left me, which is another mystery I need to solve.

The letters continue to be interesting, as I read a request to sponsor a Quidditch team called the Chudley Cannons, with promises of backstage passes to every game, but I put it into the professional request pile.

If my uncle's rants have taught me anything, it's that you need to spend money to make money. The goblins don't exactly give interest on gold just sitting around so I might want to look into investments in the future, once I've finished working out what businesses I already own.

Putting the sorted letters back into my chest, now in neat piles for me to deal with later, I still have a seemingly insurmountable mountain of mail to deal with.

The only letters I keep out for now are the professional requests, people asking for interviews, donations or sponsorships.

Grabbing some parchment, I take a few attempts to get the template I want. I'm sure there's some spell to help duplicate or mass produce these letters but I don't know it and I think the personal touch is better for my reputation.

I don't need a professional reputation right now, but I'm sure it'll be useful in the future.

For interviews, I apologise for the late reply explaining that I've only just received their letter, politely declining as I don't have time for interviews during the school year between my studies and settling into the magical world, explaining that any interviews would happen during the winter break at the earliest.

The press can be brutal to celebrities when they feel slighted, I've seen that from those shitty gossip shows my aunt loves so much. Add on the fact that people are easily influenced, if the press take offence to me ignoring them then I could end up with a more infamous reputation.

For sponsorships, it's more of the same but I explain that I'm still sorting out my finances at the moment and have no plans to invest or sponsor anyone until I've got it under control and hired an accountant to help me handle things (pushing the idea that I'm an inexperienced child when it comes to economics).

Donations are also very similar, but with a promise to look into their organisation when I have the time, reminding people that I'm new to this world and I don't know who most of these organisations are.

I also make a section in my book for organisations after I finish, adding each request to it so I can keep track of who has asked for what.

My wrist is killing me by the time I've finished the pile of letters, but my owl seems happy to see the growing pile. Our rooms are enchanted to have a window despite being underground, so I just leave my window open and watch my owl fly out with two letters in her talons.

She'll work through the pile on her own time, I'm in no rush.

It's getting very late, but before I go to bed I open up the book of security spells and start reading by the fireplace. I saw two spells that I wanted to learn first and they seemed fairly simple.

A locking spell and an alarm spell.

The private rooms are already warded one-way against noise, I can be as loud as I want in here without drawing any attention which is good as I practise the alarm spell, giving myself a headache due to the repeated screeching.

By the time I get them both down, it's close to 2am but I'm used to late nights and early mornings. It's not healthy but I can handle it.

Which is why after I go to bed, I'm not particularly bothered when a loud screeching noise wakes me up as someone tries to open my bedroom door.

From my side of the door, I can hear the sound of some heavy footsteps running away from my door, which makes me open it and watch as three figures flee the corridor.

Flint, and two of his male friends. I'll work out who those two are later.

I'm not the only person who opened my door, spotting Draco and Daphne both staring at the fleeing figures.

Daphne's sleepwear draws my attention for a moment, a thin white nightie that only reaches her thighs leaving her pink pale legs on display as she glowers at the fleeing idiots who interrupted her beauty sleep. I make sure I'm not ogling her when she turns around.

Draco yawns, giving me a slight smirk as he realises what happened, but at 4am he's not big on talking as he turns and heads back inside.

Daphne glances towards me, eyes narrowed before they soften and she gives me a simple nod and goes back into her room.

And now Flint knows that getting into my room isn't going to be as easy next time, it won't stop him but it should slow him down.

Slytherin is an interesting place, because if you get caught doing stuff like this, Snape will come down on you like a hammer, but that's only if you get caught.

Flint knows this, it's why he chose to run instead of doubling down.

Heading back inside, I relock my door and get back to bed with a satisfied smile.

— Next Day —

Sitting in the library, I ignore Draco's grumbling about McGonagall as he works on his transfiguration essay.

It's not due anytime soon, but apparently Snape is sending Draco's grades home to his father and he's expected to get at least an Exceeds Expectations on all assignments.

…is it still an 'exceeds expectations' when that is what's expected?

Draco seems to really look up to his father, and frankly he seems almost desperate for his approval.

Meanwhile, I've already found out that homework doesn't affect the final grade so I'm aiming for the bare minimum. I got good at seemingly barely scraping by after it became apparent that outshining Dudley wasn't in my best interests.

Of course, a half-trained monkey could outshine Dudley so my efforts to seem 'average' ended up failing since Dudley certainly isn't above average in anything but BMI.

I intend to get Outstandings on my actual exams, but I'm not putting any unnecessary effort into my homework. If I get good grades on my homework, good for me, if I get nothing but 'Acceptables' that's also fine by me.

I have better things to do with my time rather than spend it going over my homework a dozen times to try and squeeze out a slightly higher grade.

Too many people waste their time like that, it's just not efficient when you can get a slightly worse result while only spending a fraction of the time you would have trying for an Outstanding.

Pausing my attempts to decipher my grimoire, I glance over at where Granger is obsessing over the same assignment, a dozen books on the table with her.

Yup, that's not going to be me. Nobody is going to care that you got an Acceptable on your transfiguration assignment if you can get an Outstanding in the final exam.

As long as I know the material and can cast the spells consistently and effectively, who cares that I didn't add an extra five paragraphs on an essay?

I have far more important things to do, because I've almost cracked the code on the early pages in my grimoire. My big break came when I realised that the swirling symbols were definitely not random, the same pattern repeated over and over again as ink flows across the page in elegant patterns.

I think the pattern is the wand movements of the spell I need to cast to read the words hidden away, a test for readers to prove they deserve the secrets this book protects.

I'm still missing the words for the spell, but I'm close, I can feel it.

So enthralled by the tome, I even don't notice as someone approaches our table, drawing Draco's attention and a slight sneer on his lips.

"What are you reading?" a voice asks, making me jump and look up, spotting Granger standing by our table.

Huh, I must have been reading for ages if even Hermione finished her assignment. She's already gotten a reputation as a teacher's pet but I'm pretty sure she just wants approval.

She seems rather socially awkward and insecure.

"A tome from my family library," I say, not wanting to admit I've spent all this time looking at swirling ink hoping it will reveal its secrets to me. "Why?"

"Oh, it's just that I always see you reading it outside of class and I was just curious- I'm Hermione, by the way, Hermione Granger," Hermione says quickly, speeding up as she blurts out her words.

"I know, we do share quite a few classes. Still, I'm Harry Potter and this is Draco Malfoy," I say, nodding to Draco who gives her a reluctant nod.

"A pleasure… what's it about?" Hermione asks, looking at my book again. She does seem like a bit of a bookworm. "Could I borrow it when you're done with it?"

Before I can respond, Draco buts in with a sneer.

"Are you stupid? Do you even know what you're asking?" Draco scoffs, making Hermione flinch back in surprise.

— Hermione Granger —

As the Malfoy boy sneered at her, she regretted her decision to try and approach Harry.

She'd hoped that she'd be able to get to know him since they both clearly loved books, Harry was reading every time she saw him.

She should have waited until he was apart from Draco, but they never seemed to be separate. She could admit she was jealous of their fast friendship, everyone seemed to have already made friends with their housemates except her.

"I- what? I was just-" Hermione stuttered, still not used to confrontations like this. Insults behind her back she'd grown more used to, but not direct confrontations like this.

"It's from his family library, and covered in so many spells we can't even read the cover. It's obviously family magic, and you asked if you could borrow it?" Draco half-ranted as Harry sighed.

She didn't like not knowing things, so the fact that she had no idea what Draco was talking about made matters even worse.

"Draco, chill. She's a Muggleborn, how on Earth would she know that?" Harry pointed out logically, making Draco go to speak before he closed his mouth and sighed. "It's not like there are classes for this, even I'm having to learn this stuff myself and I'm the bloody heir of two houses."

Glancing at the green eyed teen, she blushed slightly as he gave her a reassuring smile, showing that he didn't mind her question.

"Ugh, I suppose you're right. If we have to have you people in our world, the people who want you here could at least teach you how not to make a fool of yourselves like this," Draco almost whined, before turning to her with a superior look. What did he mean, 'you people'? "Family magic is magic that was created by a member of a house and declared a family secret. It's only taught to members of that house, and anyone else trying to learn or copy it is a crime."

"W-what? You just lock spells away like that just because it was created by a member of some family?" Hermione asked, aghast at what she was hearing. "Knowledge should be shared, not hoarded."

"Says who? Why should we be made to share spells our family made? Sure, a lot of people share their creations but that's up to them," Draco scoffed as she forced herself not to reply.

This wasn't the muggle world, things were different here. If she was a couple of years younger she wouldn't have been able to stop herself, but she didn't want to get into an argument with the Slytherin.

She'd been warned by the other Gryffindors that Slytherins couldn't be trusted and would hate her because she was a Muggleborn, but surely you couldn't just write off an entire quarter of the school as bullies.

"I'm afraid this book wouldn't be of any use to you anyway," Harry said, cutting off the argument as he offered it to her, making her blink as she took it.

She could tell it was old, handling it with care as she opened it up. Almost immediately she flinched back as her mind was almost overwhelmed with strange symbols and swirling letters, hearing a whisper in the back of her mind.

Seeing her pain, he snatched the book back with a frown.

"Sorry, I didn't think it'd do anything bad, I just knew you wouldn't be able to read it," Harry apologised quickly, making her shake her head, rubbing her temple as the strange symbols faded.

"It's fine, I wouldn't have believed you if I didn't see it for myself," Hermione admitted, making Harry smile slightly.

"My apologies all the same, but as you can see, there's not much reason for you to borrow it," Harry said with a soft smile.

"So, can only a Potter read that then?" Hermione asked, still thinking about what she'd learnt about 'family magic'. It still seemed wrong to her, but she wouldn't get anywhere arguing about it.

"I'm not sure myself to be honest, I'm not doing anything special to read this," Harry admitted.

"It's probably a spell that reacts to your blood, they're not that uncommon. It's not that only members of the family can learn the spells, you'd just have to either join the family or make a deal with them to be allowed to learn them," Draco explained, seeming annoyed by her lack of knowledge.

"Join the family?" Hermione asked.

"Either get adopted, marry into the house, get sponsored by the family or join it as a servant, though the last one is pretty rare in modern times," Draco continued.

He clearly didn't like her, but she got the feeling he didn't want to be rude to her while Harry was sitting next to him.

"I see, thank you," Hermione said, making Draco blink briefly before he rolled his eyes and looked away, going back to his book.

If he was trying to do the transfiguration essay, he was looking in the wrong book but he wasn't very nice so she didn't feel like pointing that out.

"I'll see you both in class," Hermione said, deciding to not overstay her welcome.

"Of course, it was nice to get a chance to talk to you, Hermione," Harry said kindly, giving her another soft smile.

"S-same to you, Harry," Hermione said quickly, excusing herself as she walked away, seeing Harry already going back to his book.

— Harry Potter —

"I don't like her," Draco says bluntly after Hermone walks away, making me chuckle.

"Because she's a Muggleborn or because she keeps getting ahead of you in class?" I ask, making him scowl slightly.

"She's a know-it-all, her hand spends more time in the air during class than it does down," Draco says, making me nod.

"True, but that saves me being called on so that works for me," I say, before smirking. "I thought you said who you know is important? I'm willing to put money on her being a prefect in fifth year," I point out, making him pause.

"Yeah, but she'll be a Gryffindor prefect," Draco says with a disgusted look, making me laugh.

"All the more reason to get into her good graces, you've noticed that she's always alone, right?" I point out, making him nod.

"The Gryffindors aren't known for their love of books, I'm not sure all of them can even read," Draco says with a superior sneer, which I consider wiping off his face by reminding him of Crabbe and Goyle.

"Exactly and I think Miss Granger is feeling a little lonely and homesick, I certainly wouldn't mind having a… grateful friend in the enemy house, maybe even a secret one so it doesn't affect my reputation in Slytherin," I say, playing into this big game the rest of my house seem to enjoy.

By putting it in that way, Draco pauses as he reconsiders things. Hermione just went from an annoying teacher's pet to a potential asset in his eyes.

"You think so?" Draco asks, making me nod.

"You shouldn't waste your time with Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs, if you want to be the 'Prince' of Slytherin, but I'm free to make connections we can both use. Imagine how useful it'd be to say… subtly point the Weasley twins at Nott if he gets uppity, or have the other houses spreading rumours about Greengrass," I suggest, making him lean back in his seat with a smirk.

Ravenclaw seems to be the only other house Slytherins respect, which seems a little short-sighted (rivalry with the lions aside). I can see the advantage of having some friends who are hard-working and loyal.

"I can play the part of the 'friendly' snake, too naive to play the game, I certainly don't mind being underestimated," I say with a smirk of my own.

"Okay, you might be onto something here," Draco admits, giving me an approving nod. "And the people who'd have a problem with it already don't like you, so you don't really lose anything. They'll probably think I'm manipulating you, which will just make me look better in the long run," Draco realises, his grin growing. "Which will probably make some of them try and manipulate you, thinking you're a gullible idiot."

"Which we can turn against them," I follow up, making him smile. "Like I said, I don't mind people underestimating me."

With Draco convinced, clearly deep in thought as he schemes, I go back to my book for a little longer before the Library closes and we have to leave.

With Draco heading back to the common room, we separate so I can continue my exploration of the school. I'm still trying to get it mentally mapped out which is rather difficult considering how illogical much of it is, staircases that lead up to the dungeons, corridors that seem to lead to different places on different days, but I don't give up easily. Curfew isn't for another hour or so anyway.

My exploration pays off in an unexpected way as I spot another student in the corridors, making eye contact with her as she stumbles slightly.

"Potter, right?" she asks, my eyes flickering to her red and gold badge.

"That's right, so are you AJ, AS or KB?" I ask, her dark skin making it hard to spot the blush on her cheeks as she sighs and facepalms slightly.

"I was hoping that letter got lost in transit," she admits with a rueful chuckle. "I'm AJ, or Angelina Johnson, and I'd really prefer it if nobody else ever saw those pictures," Angelina says seriously.

"I take it you were as drunk as you looked back then?" I ask in amusement, making her nod with an embarrassed smile.

"You and Alicia share a birthday, we managed to get our hands on some firewhiskey to celebrate and it came up that it was your birthday as well. One thing led to another and we decided to give you a birthday present, and as drunk as we were it was the best thing we could think of for a teenage boy," Angelina admits with a chuckle.

"So I take it the offer to 'make me a man' is off the table?" I ask, teasing the older girl slightly as she sighs.

"…did I really write that?" Angelina asks, before snorting. "Of course I did. Drunk Angelina isn't a smart woman," she sighs as she facepalms.

"Would you like the pictures back? Don't worry, nobody else has seen them," I offer, slipping into the role of 'the nice snake', making her smile at me gratefully, before she pauses.

"You know what, how about a trade. Look, Alicia has a boyfriend who would definitely not be happy to know she sent nudes to another guy and Katie got peer pressured into it by me, so if you give me back the pictures of Alicia and Katie, you can keep the one of me and I'll make it worth your while," Angelina offers, making me blink.

"Oh?" I ask, making her smirk.

"I'm not sleeping with you, sober Angelina isn't that easy, but I don't mind letting you see the goods in person, maybe I'll even let you have a little fun," Angelina offers, making me chuckle.

"You know I would have just given them back, right?" I point out, making her shrug.

"Call it incentive not to play any games, your house isn't exactly known for being trustworthy," Angelina points out. "Katie would be destroyed if that picture got out, and Alicia's relationship would be destroyed."

"Well, you've got yourself a deal, they're in my chest at the moment with a few thousand other letters, but I'll get them to you," I promise, making her smile.

"Thanks… so, did you enjoy them?" Angelina asks, making me smile.

"That's for me to know, and you to find out," I say simply, making her chuckle.

"Aww, are you embarrassed? Don't want to admit they kept you company at night?" Angelina asks with a grin.

"No comment, now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to the dungeons before curfew. Professor Snape doesn't seem the type to accept excuses for being out late, certainly not when that excuse is 'a late night rendezvous with a Gryffindor'," I deadpan, making her snort.

"You're not wrong, so I'll let you off for now," Angelina teases, giving me a wave as she walks past me, presumably towards the Gryffindor common room.

I wonder if there is a spell to copy pictures into books, or just copy pictures in general. I've seen books that had moving pictures in them, so I need to look into how that's done.

I do not particularly want to give up my nudes, because as she pointed out, I am a teenage boy and I'm also a Slytherin.

Heading back to the common room, I take advantage of one of the weird staircases to get back faster since my wanderings took me to the sixth floor this time, and I need the shortcut to get back in time.

I've heard people mention secret passageways, so that's another thing I want to try and learn while I'm here.

Reaching my room, I barely have time to close the door before Draco shows up, making me grin as I let him in.

"If anyone asks, I taught you that alarm spell, also I need you to teach me that alarm spell," Draco says immediately, making me chuckle.

"Got it, it's pretty simple," I say with a knowing smile.

He's telling people he taught it to me to show how he earned my trust playing up on me being naive, and the only person who can prove he's lying is the person who actually left me the book.

If they want the credit, they'd have to reveal themselves which would still work for us.

Getting the book out, I show Draco the spell and he picks it up easily enough because it really isn't complicated but our impromptu study session is interrupted as a knock on my door draws our attention.

Opening the door, I pause as I spot the older girl on the other side.

Without waiting for me to speak, she walks past me and into the room, giving Draco a cold look.

"Lucretia, what are-" Draco starts, before she cuts him off.

"Leave, Draco," Lucretia says bluntly, making Draco go to speak before he goes silent, almost gulping as he rises.

"I was done here anyway," Draco says, saving face as she snorts.

"Of course, then you won't mind getting out of my sight," Lucretia deadpans, watching Draco leave as he gives me a confused but apologetic look.

Closing the door behind him, she sits on my bed, looking me over for a moment.

"Can I help you?" I ask, repressing my annoyance at her acting like she owns the place.

She's beautiful, with long blonde hair that reaches down to her waist and surprisingly intense grey eyes as she looks me over. I'd say she's at least a fifth year, but she could even be a seventh year, it's hard to tell.

"Yes, you can. Lucretia Malfoy, Draco's older and far smarter sister," Lucretia says, introducing herself bluntly as my lips twitch.

Ah, that's why Draco ran.

"Are you planning to tell me how I can help you, cousin, or would you rather just sit there and pose all night?" I ask, making her smile slightly.

"Not the quiet little follower Draco is trying to pass you off as? That's good," Lucretia says with a hint of approval. "As for how you can help me, that's simple. I want you to court me," Lucretia says, making me blink.

"And why is that?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

"Because my parents want to get the Black Lordship into our side of the family, and his best chance is for us to marry, so I've been told to approach you. Of course he probably thought I'd try and subtly seduce you but I don't have the time or patience for that," Lucretia says with surprising honesty.

"And what do you want?" I ask, making her smile grow slightly.

"Smart boy. Before you showed up and befriended Drakey, my parents were in negotiations to marry me off to some fat, balding old man who comes from a family that's well-connected in Eastern Europe, the moment I graduated I'd be expected to go and spread my legs for someone three times my age who barely bathes or speaks English for the benefit of my family. Now, father has cancelled the negotiations because he's seen a chance to see me be Lady Black instead," Lucretia says bluntly, making me think.

Arranged marriages seem to be the norm in Pureblood society given how many offers I've received. If I'd had this conversation before seeing the letters I would have probably been judging Lucius a lot more than I am, but it's just part of this game they all play.

"As long as you're seemingly working towards that goal, he won't arrange anything else," I realise, making her nod with a smirk.

"Exactly, if I'm getting closer to you, I don't have to worry about being sold off to some foreigner, so I want to date you until I graduate," Lucretia says simply.

"And what's in it for me?" I ask.

"Besides the bragging rights of having the hottest Slytherin as your girlfriend?" Lucretia asks, seeming almost offended for a moment before she smirks. "And I would be your real girlfriend, with all that entails, public displays of affection, late nights visits to a broom closet or each other's bedrooms, plus I wouldn't care if you found anyone on the side since I could just say you're looking for a Lady Potter as well?"

"Besides that, obviously," I agree, making her smirk grow.

"Be careful, I might actually start to like you and then we'll both be in trouble," Lucretia warns playfully. "Flint has a thing for me, say yes and I'll go downstairs right now and curse the shit out of him in front of the entire house for messing with you."

"I'll deal with Flint myself, though taking his crush as an extra fuck you is tempting," I admit, making her narrow her eyes.

"You will, will you?" Lucretia asks, before nodding in approval. "Good, a Black shouldn't need help dealing with some fuck up like Marcus Flint. Tutorage from a very smart older student with access to the forbidden section, the ability to take advantage of my prefect position for your own benefit, and the dirt I've got on the rest of the house."

"You make an enticing offer," I admit, making her give me that smug superior look Draco always has.

So that's where he gets it.

"Look, I don't particularly care about relationships, so you get to set the pace and tone. You want it to be a slow, private courtship where we hold hands as we take romantic walks around the lake? Sure. You want me to sit in your lap at lunch and feed you while I call you sickeningly sweet pet names? Whatever, I don't care. You want to grope me while I give you a handjob in the middle of the common room? Go right ahead, I truly do not give a singular shit. What I do care about is avoiding having all my work go to waste because I've been married off to some fat fuck who doesn't like that his wife is smarter than him and thinks I should just be a hole for him to pump babies into," Lucretia says with a scowl. "I'm not going to lie and say that I actually like you or even that I'm particularly attracted to you, but there's only pros in this for you."

For just a brief moment, I sense a hint of desperation in her tone but I don't know how real it is and how much of it is her trying to make me feel sorry for her.

"You don't think your father will try and push for us to actually marry before you graduate?" I ask, making her laugh.

"No, because Dumbledore is your magical guardian and that means he can't really push for anything. It gives us a lot of wiggle room. He might suggest we make a contract but you can just say you've been advised not to sign any contracts until you're old enough, you do seem to like pretending to be an obedient little follower," Lucretia points out, making me nod in acknowledgement.

"Fair point," I admit, thinking over her offer.

"Still need convincing? And here I thought such a noble hero would leap at the chance to save a damsel in distress," Lucretia says with a mocking tone, making me laugh.

"You aren't exactly a helpless damsel," I point out as she stands up, smirking.

"Correct answer, and don't forget it," Lucretia agrees, pausing before she calmly slips her school robes off her shoulders, making my eyes widen as she sits back down on my bed in just a very revealing pair of dark green underwear. "So tell me, how much more convincing do you need?"

I pride myself on having a lot of self control, but I can't deny that I gulp slightly as she crosses her long pale legs with a small smirk, leaning back slightly as she pushes her chest out.

Draco is far less dangerous than his sister.

— Bonus Scene — Petunia Dursley

She didn't believe in karma, but she couldn't deny that the current situation felt a lot like their actions coming back to bite them in the backside.

Vernon had very nearly ended up locked away under suspicion of killing the boy, before Dumbledore of all people had arrived to explain that Harry was safe and sound at his boarding school

Dumbledore then gave her a lecture on letting her jealousy of Lily control her and not treating her nephew like a member of the family, in that condescending tone of his. Like she asked for the brat to be dropped on her doorstep, they should have ditched him at the nearest orphanage and called it a day.

Vernon was released, but that didn't save them from the considerable punishments for 'child abuse', including some incredibly substantial fines.

Which made the fact that word had clearly spread all the more damaging, as Vernon lost his job because Grunning's didn't want a known child abuser working for them.

Their savings were devastated, and the payments for 'looking after' Harry stopping meant they were in serious financial trouble.

So bad that they had to sell their car and considered mortgaging their house or even selling it and buying something smaller, until they realised something they'd never considered before.

Four Privet Drive had been a gift to them from their parents, but her parents never liked Vernon and kept it in their name. When they passed away, it went to Lily instead of her, who agreed to let them live there rent free.

Which means Harry now owned their house, even if he didn't know it yet. Dumbledore had mentioned that Harry had come into his inheritance and wasn't planning on returning, which meant it was only a matter of time before he found out.

Lily could be one of the most petty vengeful people in existence when she felt wronged, and Harry clearly took after her given his little escape, timed to place them in the biggest mess.

This could be a true disaster, placing her, Dudders and Vernon on the streets where they'd be killed by ruffians.

Sitting down at her table, she started writing. Once upon a time, in better days, she'd written to Lily all the time while her sister was in Hogwarts, loving the stories her sister had about the magical school.

She still had some of those letters, and she'd been able to find the address Hogwarts used for muggles like her to send mail to.

Lily could hold onto a grudge for years, even after she received an apology if she didn't think they were sincere enough.

She'd just have to pray that Lily's son was more forgiving, because she didn't know what she was going to do if Harry wasn't.