Monday Morning (4)

"Let's focus on confidence building for those with low self-esteem." Dr. Moore looked at all three of us and didn't just focus on me, making me feel more comfortable. "I honestly believe the best way to build someone's self confidence, is to give them challenges that they can accomplish. Because, you can give someone all the 'pats on the back' in the world, but that won't build their self confidence. It'll just comfort them. You can tell them, 'you don't have to be afraid anymore', but it's not going to make their fear go away." He faced me. "Right?"

I nodded. It was all comfort phrases. It didn't make me any less afraid. Just less alone.

"So, I think it's important to put them into situations where there's a challenge. A challenge that provides an appropriate amount of fear. But not too much that it'll overwhelm them and incapacitate them. Just start working at the little things until you feel comfortable then find an even bigger challenge." Dr. Moore said. "Like this weekend, Noah said you spoke more than normal?" He looked at Noah to confirm.

Noah nodded. "Yep. Jake spoke to us. My brothers. Our teammates. He was very outgoing."

"Well it's normal to start talking around those you live with." Dr. Moore said. "But I'm curious as to what made you feel like you had to talk to your teammates?"

"Baseball, of course." Noah answered for me. "He really only talks about baseball. Jake doesn't waste words. He treasures them like gold. But if he doesn't understand something about baseball, he'll ask me or Zeke. But yesterday, he even spoke to this guy named Jordan."

"So baseball really brings you out of your shell?" Dr. Moore asked me directly.

I shrugged. I guess it did. Looking back, it started at the cages with Noah. Even when I was scared with those guys hovering over us, I also didn't pass out of fear.

"Okay. So we'll start with that. Starting tomorrow, I want you to try and talk to a different teammate a day, excluding the Atkins. You can say anything you want. A simple hi. Or a more in-depth question like how are you. Or just ask anything related to baseball. One word is all you need."

I gave a quick nod. I could try that. It sounds easy enough.

"Alright. We can check in on that next week to see how it goes. Is there anything else you would like to share today?" I shook my head no, and he looked to Mr. Atkins and Noah. "And would either of you like to talk about something today? It can be about anything related or unrelated to Jake."

No one had anymore to say. We all stood up and headed for the door. Dr. Moore walked us out of his office and out of the building. As Noah and I got in the car, Mr. Atkins and him stopped to exchange a few words. Then Mr. Atkins got in the car and we started to leave.

"What were you guys talking about?" Noah asked.

"He and Mr. Duncan have been in contact. He was just telling me that we'll have another visit soon."

"Why?" Noah asked, very blunt. "When other kids stayed with us, their social worker only visited once a month."

"Jake has a lot going on compared to others. He's a special case. I'm sure Mr. Duncan wants to make sure he's doing well and whatnot. There could also be things that he would like to talk about like his mom's court case or finding a lead on his dad."

Noah glanced at me, then looked at his dad as he wove through traffic. "What if Jake doesn't want to go back to his dad? I mean, that man did leave his with a crazy lady. He could be crazy too."

Mr. Atkins sighed. "I'm not entirely sure how that all will work out. The tricky thing is that the state doesn't really know who his dad is. He isn't on the birth certificate so they can only go off some secondhand information. Then there'll be a blood test and custody exchange. There's a lot to go into it. There's also a possibility that he wants to sign his rights as a parent away. He could even be dead already. I really don't know how they'll go about this situation." He paused. "I'm sure it would be easier if they had a name to look up. Right now they're just going off his moms known associates." He glanced in the rear view mirror to make eye contact with me. "Do you have anything you want to share to help the search?"

From the corner of my eye, I could see Noah slightly shaking his head. I cleared my throat with a light cough. "I have my mothers last name. My dad left when I was three." I shared a little. Mr. Atkins waited for more, but that's all I was willing to share. If Noah thought it was a bad idea to find this man, then I shared the same sentiments.