Chapter Four

Chapter Four

“Have you heard the news about our co-student Rika from building C?”

“Yeah, I saw the news before I slept.”

“She's too young to be gone. Her parents are probably hurt at this moment.”

“Will you be at her wake later?”

Every student here inside the school is talking about Rika. I am wearing tinted glasses right now even though the sun isn't too thermal. I couldn't sleep the whole night because of crying so my dark eyebags and swollen eyes are very obvious.

I stopped walking for a while because I know my tears will begin to fall anytime soon. I'm still in the urge of crying every minute I remember what happened to Rika. I'm with her yesterday. We're together. I didn't know that it would be the last day where I can see and spend my time with my best friend. I should have enjoyed the moment with her at that time.

“Quinn,” Pracy called me with teary eyes.

She ran towards me and hugged me tight then she cried loudly, like a kid. I bit my lips and looked up in the sky to prevent myself from crying too.

“Stop crying, Pracy.” I patted her head slowly.

“I still couldn't believe it…”

“Me too. I'm with Rika yesterday. I didn't expect that she would be forever gone after that.”

She weeped. I didn't speak again and let her mourn until she got tired. When she thought that she had no tears to cry, I pulled her on a seat and calmed her. I took a bottle of water on my bag and gave it to her.

I stared at her face with sympathy. We are both in pain because we lost our best friend but I'm definitely sure Rika's parents are the one who are in deepest pain because she's the only child of them.

“This is my fault…”

Pracy looked up on me when she heard what I just said. I faced her.

“W-What do you mean?” she asked.

I came closer to her and made sure that no one else would hear our conversation.

“I saw it.”

“Saw what? I don't understand you...” she added.

“Yesterday when I'm with Rika, I stared directly in her eyes while we're talking, then I suddenly saw an accident that was bound to happen and it really did. Even the exact day and time of the accident. I saw it all. I saw everything. But I just ignored it, I chose to ignore it.” I explained weakly, “If I just did something to stop her death, she can stay alive and we can still be with her at this moment. If I just told her what I saw, there's a big chance that she can avoid the danger that is coming to her life.”

She stared blankly at nowhere for a second. She wiped the tears that already had dried in her eyes and confronted me with no imprinted emotion in her face.

“Would you please stop, Quinn? Rika is already gone! She's already dead! Would you please stop all your craziness and ridiculous imaginations just for this day?”

I shook my head. “Why don't you believe me, Pracy? How many times do I have to tell you that what I'm saying is a fact?”

“Because I know that what you're saying is so unreal!” she snorted.

“But it's really true!”

“You just looked at her eyes then you can already see what will happen to her? You can already see what will happen in the future? Wake up from your illusions! There's nothing like that in real life, Quinn. Nothing!” she insisted before she left me there.

I let out a deep sigh. I took a glance at the door where Pracy walked out then I inhaled and exhaled.

How can I make her believe in me?

~~~

“Ms. Naveen, can I talk to you for a minute?” Professor asked me when our third class ended.

I nodded politely. “Sure, ma'am.”

She headed out first. I followed her and waited for her to tell me what she wanted to say. She gaped at me for a second before she spoke.

“I've noticed something about you, Ms. Naveen.” she started, "You're acting weird lately..."

My eyebrows met in confusion. “What do you mean acting weird, ma'am?”

“These past few days, I've been watching you secretly. You're always preoccupied. It's like you're drowning into your own thoughts. What's bothering you, Quinn?”

I was stunned and gazed at her again with hesitation. I don't think that I should tell her the strange things that are happening to me lately.

“You can tell me. Maybe I can help you,” she added.

I gasped for air. I should not spread and tell anyone about this thing. Because even I don't exactly know what is happening.

I just threw a sight at the Professor. Maybe she won't believe me too like Pracy did and just think of me as a crazy woman.

I forced a smile. “There's nothing bothering me, ma'am. I just still can't accept the death of my best friend. It hurts so much.”

“Are you sure? You can say the truth---"

“I'm one hundred percent sure, ma'am.”

“Alright. If you say so.”

“Can I go back inside now?”

“Uh, yes. You can go back---”

“Thank you, ma'am.”

I didn't bother to wait for her next word because I immediately entered the classroom and sat on my chair. I glanced at Pracy beside me then looked away. She ignored me after the conversation and a little fight we had earlier.

I can't blame her, though. I understand her because she's actually right. Who would believe everything I said? That I suddenly got inside the cubicle and I saw the future of a person? Because even me myself wouldn't believe her if she would tell me that she's also experiencing it. It can happen in a dream or in imaginations. But not in real life.

When we had our free time, the President of our class stood up and walked in front to get everyone's attention.

“Will you all come to Rika's wake tonight?” she asked.

“Yes,” they said in chorus.

I didn't answer or speak even a single word. I felt a gaze from someone behind me. It's Pracy. Our eyes met but she immediately looked away. I know she's still irritated at me.

“If that's the case, then we will go altogether later, okay?” the President suggested, our classmates nodded.

I felt that today was the longest and slowest day of our class. When finally we are all dismissed, we immediately organize our things.

I also told my parents that I'll go home late. At first they hesitated to say yes because they are afraid of what happened to Rika but they just agreed in the end. They know that Rika is one of my closest friends since then and I want to see her for the last time.

“Let's go,”

We all walked while going to Rika's house because it's not too far from school. When we arrived there, we saw many people crying silently.

“Our deepest condolences, ma'am.” all of my classmates greeted Auntie Rafaela, Rika's mother.

“Thank you,”

I observed her seriously from head to toe. She looks so pale. It's obvious that she just stopped crying because of the dark spot below her eyes.

“Go there and eat.” Auntie commanded that my classmates obeyed.

She faced me when she noticed that I'm still not moving from my position.

“Condolence, Auntie.” I said then hugged her tightly.

The tears she was holding back earlier overflowed on her cheeks in a sudden. Everyone in that area became silent and the only noise we can hear right now is Auntie Rafaela's mourn. She hugged me back more tightly.

“My one and only daughter is already gone. Rika is gone…” she screamed in such sorrow.

Tears started to fall simultaneously from my eyes. It hurts and it feels so heavy in my chest to see a mother crying because she lost her child. She's in extreme pain right now because of what happened to her daughter.

I'm blaming myself too much. I didn't understand clearly what I saw but I know for sure it has a sign or a meaning. I can do something to avoid it and to stop it but I didn't take action. I just ignored it and I hate myself for that.

This is all my fault...

“Please stop crying, auntie.” I comforted her.

She wiped her tears and slowly got off me to fix herself. She looked so ashamed when she faced her guests.

“Excuse me,” she said then she went inside their house.

I gazed at Pracy. She's also crying silently in the side. She nodded at me meaning that I should follow Auntie Rafaela. I entered inside their house. I saw Tito Rick, Rika's father. Grief and loneliness are the emotions I can see in his eyes right at this moment. He's so down. But he didn't want to show it and let it be obvious because he knows that he's the only source of strength of his wife.

“She's upstairs.” he pointed out where Auntie is.

I bowed at him before I went upstairs and entered their room but Auntie isn't there. Then for sure she's inside the room of her daughter.

I carefully opened the door of Rika's room and I'm right, Auntie is there. She's sitting in the bed while hugging her daughter's photo album. I covered my mouth to stop myself from sobbing. I'm deeply wounded by what I'm seeing.

She was stunned when she noticed someone peeking at the door. She stood up and let me enter. I immediately faked a smile.

“Have you eaten already, Auntie?” I asked as I came in.

“Not yet.” she answered weakly, “I have no appetite, Quinn.”

“But you need to eat so you can regain your energy, Auntie.”

“I can't bear to eat while seeing my daughter inside that coffin...” she started to sob.

“If Rika is still here, I'm one hundred percent sure that she won't let you skip meals.” I held her hand. “Eat, Auntie. Even just a little bit of rice. Don't make your stomach empty for so long. It won't be good for your health.”

She burst into tears again when she heard her daughter's name. She held my hand too and nodded at me with a little smile formed in her lips.

“Thank you so much.” she mumbled.

I convinced her to eat and gladly she did. We went downstairs and headed back outside. She talked to her guests who just arrived while I excused myself and walked near the coffin. I'm smiling and crying quietly at the same time because I saw Rika again. She looked like an angel because of her innocent face and her white dress. I'm happy to see her again but I never imagined that I have to see her lying inside this coffin peacefully.

I still can't believe that she's gone. I can't believe that I won't see her again after this. That I won't have the chance to talk to her again and be with her. I couldn’t blame anyone else for this. I have no one to blame but myself.

Forgive me…