Dead Man Walking

Ethyn whipped around to look at the gorgeous brunette with a sour expression.

"What are you doing in the men's room?!" He asked quickly. He pulled his tunic back down over his chest with an indignant glare.

"That's a new one. Not even a bit embarrassed for trying to take a expose himself in the ladies' room!" The woman clasped her hands in front of her with an incredulous scoff.

'Ladies' room? Oh no…Nuall!' The green eyed man realized that he had been tricked!

The handsome blonde man's dramatic side step had been ploy from the start to distract him from the proper room.

The other squire must be laughing so hard at his expense right now. Nuall was likely already back at the king's quarters by now pretending to be innocent.

"Blazing bees…" Ethyn's face turned red. "There is a stain!"

"On your record? I'll say! Just wait until I call the guard. We do not take kindly to lurkers!" The breathtaking woman took his breath for a very different reason.

The guard! He was finished for sure!

The lovely blonde from earlier, the painstakingly handsome Nuall, and now the beautiful, slightly familiar woman all wanted to make a fool of him.

"Why are all beautiful people against me today!" Ethyn lamented.

"Flattery will not get you off the hook," the woman insisted.

Her slight smile triggered Ethyn's memory. This woman had been at the bazaar earlier with the angel.

Of course she didn't recognize him without his helmet, but he knew for sure that she was one in the same. A flicker of resentment lit within him. Twice she has been amused at his expense.

"Don't flatter yourself. I wasn't trying to compliment you, merely stating a fact. You are likely the most gorgeous person on the face of the earth, yet in my eyes you are simply one of the many trying to bring me pain!"

"I don't even know you…" the woman countered. Her lips pulled to one side in a contemplative pout.

"Yet you judge me just the same. Beautiful people and their judging. Good riddance to all of you!" Ethyn turned to leave the washroom knowing that his humiliation would only grow when others found out about his mistake.

That time was far sooner than Ethyn realized.

"Where do you think you are going?" A second voice called after him, freezing him where he stood.

The haughty derision of her tone was tempered by its natural sweetness. Of course there was another witness to his disgrace! He grabbed the handle of his small ceremonial sword.

Since weapons were not allowed at the king's table, each knight and aspirant was allowed a stand in for such auspicious occasions.

It was just as well, for Ethyn surely felt like drawing the slender dummy to defend himself from the coming onslaught.

"Where am I going? I am leaving, my lady. Is that not what I am supposed to do when I find myself in the wrong place?" Ethyn did not turn around.

He heard shuffling as the second lady came from behind a screen. The more private parts of the freshening room were hidden behind ornate flowery half-walls. Thank the Fates he hadn't gone back there to undress or he would have been in some real trouble!

As it was, he was sure he would need to use the men's area as soon as he escaped this nightmare. He took another step towards the door, hoping the two women would let him leave quietly.

"First you need to apologize to my lady-in-waiting." The woman said with a hint of annoyance. "No one should talk to Lady Caitlyn that way."

'Lady in waiting?' Ethyn released the sword and pinched the bridge of him nose. If the brunette was attending someone, then that meant the second person could only be...

Turning around, the redhead confirmed his worst fear. A blonde angel was glaring at him with her hands on her hips. In the ladies room. Where he was trespassing.

'I hate my life....'

"I did not mean to offend. I did call Lady Caitlyn beautiful...three times in fact!" The young man wanted to clamp his hand over his mouth, but the words spilled out. So he awkwardly held up three fingers in his own defense.

"You also said good riddance to her. What kind of gentleman does that?" the blonde woman stared at him intensely.

Rather than shrink under her gaze, the young man swallowed and decided to push through. "I am not a gentleman, yet. Maybe I just needed to get the last bit of defiance out before being bound to this polite society. Lady Caitlyn judged me based on a mistake, I reacted in kind."

"You are very forward, speaking like that to me, here. Perhaps I should judge you as well." The blonde pursed her lips.

Ethyn could see any hope he had of being in the lady's good graces slipping away, but he no longer cared. Tonight was quickly becoming the worst night of his life.

"By all means, no one is going to stop you. Judge away..." he shrugged.

"You cannot speak to my mistress that way," the brunette passed by Ethyn toward the door. It seemed that her threat to call the guard was finally being carried out.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Ethyn suddenly came to his senses. He was in the palace and a representative of his king and Sir Cyneheard. No matter his own personal grievances, he should not be acting so rashly.

"Forgive me, Lady Caitlyn. I spoke harshly. I should have said either of you can think what you will. It is not ever my place to tell you how to think. I assure you this intrusion was only a wrong turn after an attack on my personage by a glass of juice. I most humbly apologize for my actions and ill expressed words. Well, minus the beautiful part. Both of you are indeed stunning."

The squire bowed deeply to the lovely blonde. He might have been imagining things, but her cheeks seemed slightly pinker at his sincere lament.

Lips curving slightly, he turned on his heels to face the brunette. He bowed deeply to her also, his waist nearly folding in two.

The brunette gasped.

What was wrong? Had his pants under his tunic split? No, he would have felt it and anyway, his back was to the blonde, not her.

Curiosity getting the better of him, Ethyn looked between his legs as he bowed just to make sure.

His face blanched as he realized what he had done. The scabbard of his ceremonial sword was long and thin...much longer than he had realized.

When he bowed, the edge of it had caught the princess's dress and lifted it a great distance into the air, exposing her lithe legs.

All of this happened in less than a second, but it felt like an eternity.

"I didn't see anything!" Ethyn covered his eyes and walked from the room. He did not wait for a response and was simply relieved when neither woman screamed.

The squire quickly ducked into the men's room and gripped one of the wash tables with both hands.

"Just perfect…I get to add assault to the long list of charges against me."

Part of him wanted to kill Nuall, and the other part wanted to run and never return.

Instead he found a new towel and dabbed at the stain across his lap.

"At least they didn't ask me if I wet myself…"

Having done the best he could, Ethyn eventually emerged from the washroom after a furtive glance into the hall.

He fully expected a soldier or some other inspector to be there to arrest him and take him to the dungeon. But the hall was empty.

'Time to get back and face Nuall's amusement..:'

It took a little time, but Ethyn was able to find his way back to the king's quarters. The two guards outside seemed to recognize him.

Perhaps they had heard about the incident with the juice or even witnessed the event, for each gave him a sympathetic glance.

Their spears parted to let him pass, and he tried not to think too hard about how much pity he must be getting from the two warriors of Birle.

'Pathetic.'

Entering the festivities, Ethyn moved quietly along the wall hoping to avoid attention.

Unfortunately King Rhodri spotted him almost instantly.

"Squire Hamberg!" He called over the crowd. "We were waiting for you to return. Come and make an account of yourself!"

"An account, Sire?" Ethyn asked sheepishly.

"Yes, don't keep my daughter waiting…" Rhodri crossed his arm.

Ethyn's eyes flicked to the woman standing next to the king's seat. She was blue-eyed and her angelic golden hair was half pinned up so only part of it was draped over her shoulder.

'Daughter?!'

It was at that moment that Ethyn realized the true extent of his folly. The woman he had unintentionally assaulted with his sword was in fact the princess of Birle.

'Kill me now,' he thought, pretty sure Rhodri would oblige at the first opportunity.

Like a man to the gallows, the young squire approached the waiting king.