74. Test of Patience

4 years later

Nicole poked her head around the corner and held her breath as she tried to stay quiet while surveying the room. She knew that the slightest noise would raise alert to her presence, and that was the last thing she wanted, especially after such a long search. With squinted eyes, she looked around the room in concentration. When she noticed the sole of a shoe underneath the desk, she smirked.

“Gotcha,” she whispered to herself. After taking in a deep breath to prepare herself for the capture, she jumped out from behind the corner. “Alright, the jig is up! You’ve been found!”

“Dang it!” Alice shouted in defeat as she crawled out from underneath the desk. “How did you find me so fast?”

“I have my ways.” Nicole shrugged as she smiled down at her niece. 

“I don’t like playing hide and seek with you. You always find me.” The four-year-old crossed her arms tightly against her chest and furrowed her brow.

Nicole squatted down beside the girl so that they were eye level with each other. “That’s because I’m the one who taught you all the best hiding spots, remember?” She winked.

“Oh, I forgot.” Alice’s scowl turned into a bright smile as she giggled behind her hands.

“You forgot?!” Nicole asked with wide eyes and her mouth fully opened in shock. “How could you forget?!” She reached out and tickled Alice all over her torso, causing the girl to curl up into laughter before Nicole swooped her up into her arms and held her against her left hip. “What do you say we go wake up Auntie Waverly?”

Alice nodded widely while looking at Nicole with eager eyes. 

“Want a piggy back ride up the stairs?”

“Yeah!” Alice shouted, and Nicole set her down on the couch before leaning in front of her as she helped her niece onto her back.

As she ran up the stairs, Nicole smiled at Alice squealing while she bounced on her back. When they got to Nicole and Waverly’s bedroom, Nicole craned her neck to see Alice’s face and held a finger over her lips as she made a shushing noise. Alice repeated the action back to her, and Nicole slowly opened the door before quietly walking inside. She set Alice down on the empty side of the bed — which Waverly was facing — and whispered in her ear, “Gently wake her up, okay?”

Alice rolled her lips between her teeth to force herself to stay quiet and nodded. She got down on her hands and knees to crawl over to where Waverly was, and placed a small kiss on her cheek. “Auntie Waverly, it’s time to wake up,” Alice said in the sweetest voice.

A smile spread across Waverly’s face, but her eyes remained shut.

“Are you awake?” Alice asked curiously and slightly shook Waverly’s shoulder.

“I don’t know, I think I need another kiss on the cheek from my favorite niece to fully wake up.”

Alice gave her another kiss and pulled back to see if it worked. 

Waverly’s eyes slowly opened and she smiled at Alice. “Mmm best way to wake up. Thank you, sweetie.” She rubbed her hand along the girl’s small shoulder.

“Do you feel sleeped enough play tea party now?”

Waverly couldn’t hide her expression in reaction to how absolutely adorable Alice was. “Of course, honey. Why don’t you go get everything set up for us.”

“Okay!” Alice excitedly jumped off the bed and ran out of the room and into the play room they had set up in their house specifically for when Alice was over.

“You look like you’re about to cry.” Nicole laid down on the bed beside Waverly and placed a ginger kiss on her forehead.

“Well I’m about to start ovulating. Of course cute children are going to heighten my emotions right now.” Waverly wiped her hand across her eyes as she let out a small chuckle. 

“Speaking of which, are you ready for the doctor’s appointment tomorrow? I mean, emotionally.”

“Yeah.” Waverly nodded.

“Are you sure? Because it’s okay to take a break if you need it.”

“I don’t want to,” Waverly said confidently and shook her head so that Nicole could see that there were no doubts. “I know we’ve been trying for eight months now, and if it’s too emotional for you and you feel like you need a break, then that’s okay too. But I’m ready to do this.”

Nicole smiled at her wife. “I want to keep trying too. Plus, I really feel like this might be the one.”

“You said that last time,” Waverly said as she gave a pointed look.

“I know, but really. I feel like this is it.”

A tear rolled down Waverly’s cheek, and she blinked back the rest of them to keep herself from going into full waterworks mode. “I just want it to happen so badly. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

Nicole wrapped her arms around the brunette and embraced her in a tight hug. “I know baby. Me too. But it’s going to happen, it will. We just have to stay patient.”

“I wish it was as easy for us to get pregnant as it apparently is for straight people.” Waverly sighed, thinking back to how easily Wynonna had gotten pregnant with Alice when she was on birth control. Jealousy sunk into the pit of her stomach. She was tired of doctor’s appointments, and long drives to the sperm bank. She wished she could just make love to Nicole in their own bed and have that be it, but she knew that wasn’t possible. And doing the insemination at the doctor’s office was their best bet.

“Well maybe we could try it?” Nicole smirked and bounced her eyebrows as she leaned in to kiss Waverly, earning a small laugh from her as their lips were pressed together.

“Ready!” Alice shouted from the play room, and Nicole and Waverly quickly separated.

“Okay, I’m coming!” Waverly shouted back.

“Oh, is that a preview for tonight?” Nicole leaned down and kissed Waverly’s neck.

Waverly inhaled through her nose and shook her head as she pointed a firm finger in Nicole’s face. “Stop making me horny with the kid around.”

“Hey, it’s good practice. You think our sex drive is just going to stop when we have a kid?” Nicole shrugged. “We just have to be stealthy about it.”

Waverly rolled her eyes. “Okay, I’m leaving now.” She pulled the covers back and rolled out of bed before walking down the hallway towards the play room.

---

Nicole sat at her usual table at Shorty’s a couple days later as she sipped her coffee. When she saw Dolls walk into the bar, she smiled at him and waved, signaling that she had gotten them a table.

“Hey,” he greeted as he leaned down to give her a side hug.

“Hey, glad you made it.”

“I’d never miss out on our weekly lunch. Especially since you’re buying this time.” He grinned, and Nicole shook her head at the playful comment. “How’s the rookie doing?”

“They’re doing pretty well for the most part. I partnered them up with Marsh.

“Oh that’ll be good. He’s really stepped it up lately.”

“Right?” Nicole nodded before letting out a small chuckle. “I guess he finally grew up.”

“Good, because he’s been working at the station for three and a half years now, so it’s about damn time.” He shook his head, thinking back to when Lucas Marsh started his first day on the job and stormed out when Nicole told him that he was on traffic duty while it was raining. After Lonnie moved away, Nicole went on a trip to recruit some more officers. She was only able to get one, Parker Ortega, who had just graduated from the academy.

“Parker really seems to be settling in okay. I was a little worried that they might run for the hills after seeing just how small of a town Purgatory really is.”

“I’m sure she did research on the place before deciding to take the job, so it probably wasn’t a huge culture shock.” 

“They,” Nicole corrected.

Dolls shook his head and internally berated himself. “Right, they. Sorry, it’s still a new thing for me.”

“Me too.” A small smile spread across Nicole’s lips in understanding. “I’ve fucked it up a few times in the past week alone. I hate when I do it, because I can see on their face that they don’t want to make a big deal about it with me being the boss and all. They correct Lucas all the time, but with me there’s some hesitation. I told them to correct me whenever I get it wrong though, because I know that’s going to help me create the right habits.”

“But Marsh is accepting of it? I know he grew up around here and hasn’t really been exposed to anyone like that before.”

“Yeah, he seems to be.” Nicole nodded. “He has some trouble with it, but he’s trying. I think he really likes her.” She pursed her lips and shook her head. “Them, ugh. See?”

“Hey, I think the trying matters more than anything.” He smiled at his friend. “You know, sometimes I miss the ol’ uniform. And working with you at the station.”

“What, you don’t like being a hotshot detective in the city now?” Nicole quirked a playful eyebrow.

“Well, I do enjoy getting to wear nice suits.” Dolls smirked. “But seriously, I miss working with you.”

“I miss it too.” Nicole gave him a sad smile as she ran her fingertips along her coffee mug. 

They fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments as the two of them looked down at the table, lost in thought.

“How are things with Waverly going?”

“They’re good.” Nicole sat up and rested her elbows down on the table. She wanted to tell him about their doctor’s appointment the day before, especially with all of the thoughts running through her head about it, but she couldn’t. They had decided not to tell anyone that they were trying to get pregnant until they were actually pregnant. And it was starting to feel a little lonely not being able to talk to someone every time she got the disappointing news that they weren’t pregnant, as she was always more focused on making Waverly feel better.

“She’s got exams coming up next week, right?”

“Yep. She’s almost done with her first year of teaching.”

“That’s crazy.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Feels like just yesterday she was taking classes herself for her master’s degree.”

“I know. Time flies by quicker than I’m ever ready for.” She chuckled. “I mean, I’m 31.” Her eyes widened slightly, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she was in her thirties…that she’d been in her thirties for a year and a half now. “And Waverly is now the same age I was when we met.” A small smile crept onto her face as she thought back to that day in the coffee shop when she first laid eyes on her now-wife.

“Hey, I’m going to be 36 soon, so don’t even start with that.”

“Yeah, you’re kind of old,” she teased.

Dolls gave her a warning look, which she laughed at. They continued to make casual conversation, until Dolls felt his phone buzzing. Thinking it was work, he pulled it out of his pocket, but the name on the screen definitely wasn’t someone from work. He answered it and turned sideways in his chair so that he was facing away from Nicole and began to speak in a hushed tone…

“Hey, can I call you back later? …no, I’m just having lunch with Nicole. …okay, yeah. No, I will. Okay…” he shifted his eyes uncomfortably. “You too. Bye.” 

Nicole looked at him with a curious eyebrow raised high up to her forehead as he smiled apologetically. “I’m guessing that wasn’t work?”

“No, uh. No.” He awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

“It kind of sounded like a woman. A special woman.” Nicole smirked.

“No, no. It’s…” He shook his head as he fumbled with his words. “It’s nothing.”

Nicole held her hands up as she leaned back in her seat. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me. But if you are dating again, I think that’s awesome. I thought that after Kathy…” Nicole trailed off, gauging his reaction to see if it was okay to bring up. He didn’t usually like talking about it, and this time wasn’t any different, as his stiff posture and lack of eye contact clearly indicated. “After the car accident, I wasn’t sure if you’d ever open yourself back up to the possibility of dating again.”

He was silent as he stared down at the table, trying not to slip back into the bad memories of when he had received the phone call that his fiancée’s car had been found wrapped around a tree. “It’s been over a year.” He exhaled slowly out of his nose as he lifted his head to look at Nicole. “Would I be a horrible person if I decided that I wanted to date someone again?”

“No. Not at all.” Nicole shook her head and reached out to cover his hand with her own. “You’re allowed to be happy.”

He nodded and dropped his shoulders while simultaneously releasing a loud sigh. “I am dating someone. But I’m not ready to tell you about it. At least not right now.”

“Okay.” Nicole nodded in understanding. “That’s okay, you don’t have to.”

They sat there for a few moments, letting the sounds of chatter and clinking glasses of the usual lunch crowd wash over their lack of conversation, until Nicole felt her stomach rumbling and remembered that they hadn’t even ordered food yet. “I’m going to go put the order in. You want the usual?”

Dolls nodded with a small smile, and she stood up from her seat and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as she walked off towards the counter. Dolls rubbed his eyes with his fingers before pulling his phone back out and sending a text…

Dolls: I think we should tell her.

He began to put his phone back into his pocket, not expecting a response, but felt the vibration of a new message before he could even let go. He opened it up and scanned his eyes across the words.

Sam: About her dad? Or about us?

He quickly typed out a reply.

Dolls: About us. I’m not telling her about her dad. That’s Nathan’s business not mine.

Sam: You’re right. And if you’re ready to tell her about us then we can tell her baby <3

Dolls: Maybe we can have a hangout this weekend and tell her then, together.

Sam: Sounds good :) 

Dolls noticed Nicole walking back towards him out of the corner of his eye and quickly put his phone away before she reached the table.

“I got you a coffee. I figured you could use the pick-me-up.” She set the mug down in front of him before sitting back in her chair.

“Thanks,” he said with a grateful smile and wrapped his hand around the hot mug before bringing it up to his lips.

---

On Friday night, Nicole and Waverly walked into the bar in the next town over that they liked to go to for music and dancing, and looked around until they spotted Jeremy and Robin. They walked hand in hand with smiles on their faces as Nicole led them through the crowd.

“Hey, how’d you guys get a table? This place is packed,” Nicole asked as they sat down.

“I just used my assertiveness and told some people to leave.” Jeremy shrugged.

Nicole and Waverly looked at him with doubtful eyes.

Robin eyed him in amusement. “We waited for a group to leave and rushed over to snag the table before anyone else could.”

“Okay, now that story I believe.” Waverly chuckled.

“Hey, I can be assertive, you know.” Jeremy looked at his friends, and then at his fiancé.

“Sure honey. Sure.” Robin patted his hand as he smiled at Jeremy.

“I’m going to get us some drinks.” Waverly stood up. “What do you want baby?”

“Just a beer for now.”

Waverly nodded before walking off towards the counter, and Nicole looked back at Jeremy and Robin with a curious look in her eyes.

“So, do you guys know who Dolls’ mystery woman is?”

“Not a clue,” Jeremy answered with a shake of his head. “I was surprised when he even said that he was dating someone.”

“Me too.” Nicole nodded in agreement. “I just hope that whoever this rebound girl is, she’s helping him cope with everything that’s happened. Or, knowing Dolls, he probably hasn’t even talked about it with her and she has no idea.”

“Good point,” Jeremy said, and he and Robin both nodded in agreement.

“Hopefully it works out though.” Nicole shrugged just as Waverly had walked back to the table with their drinks in her hands.

“What did I miss?”

“Just talking about Dolls’ mystery woman.” Nicole smiled and took a small sip of her beer.

“Ah yeah. Whoever she is, she must be really good in bed.”

Nicole furrowed her brow. “Why do you say that?”

“He‘s been looking a lot happier lately, like someone who’s been having really good sex.” Waverly laughed lightly.

“He did have a bit of a glow when we were having lunch.” Nicole shrugged.

“See? He’s totally getting it.” 

Everyone at the table laughed as they all sipped on their drinks.

“So where’s everyone else?” Robin asked.

“Chrissy and Rosita had date plans with their new partners, and Sam said she’s on her way.”

Jeremy and Robin looked up to see Dolls walking through the crowd with a woman following behind him, but they couldn’t make out who she was in the dim lighting. 

“Oh, there he is,” Jeremy said.

With an eager look in her eyes, Nicole turned around to finally see the woman she had been picturing in her head, but only saw Sam walking with him. “Hey guys,” she greeted.

“Hey,” they both said back. Dolls was smiling, but Sam had a look of hesitation on her face.

“So, where’s this mystery woman?” Nicole looked around the bar, waiting for someone else to walk up to their table.

“Actually, um, she’s right here.” Dolls nervously smiled as he pointed to Sam.

Everyone looked between the two, now realizing that Sam was the woman Dolls had been seeing, and the table fell silent.

“Well hey, that’s great!” Robin finally said.

“Yeah! Really awesome!” Jeremy added with an equal amount of excitement.

Dolls and Sam both smiled as they turned to look at Waverly and Nicole.

“Well I approve. You two look really good together.” Waverly smiled. She was a little surprised, but ultimately happy for her friends.

Nicole still looked at them, as if trying to solve a puzzle. She wanted Dolls to be happy with someone, and she wanted Sam to be happy with someone, but she wasn’t sure if they were the right someones for each other. But she didn’t want to ruin the night, especially with everyone else being so supportive, so she just nodded her head and sported the best convincing smile that she could.

“Yeah, that’s great.” 

Dolls let out a small sigh of relief, as Nicole’s reaction was the one he was most worried about. But Sam just looked at her in concern, knowing her best friend way too well to fall for that fake smile.

“I’ll be right back. I need to go to the bathroom.” Nicole slid out of her seat as she made her way towards the back.

“Me too.” Sam set her purse down on the booth beside Dolls. “Be right back.”

When Sam got to the bathroom, she noticed Nicole standing at the sink waiting for her. “Are you mad?”

“I’m not mad. I’m just worried.”

“Why?”

“Because...” Nicole shook her head and sighed. “He just lost Kathy.”

“That was over a year ago.”

“But they were going to get married.” Nicole’s voice was more passionate now. “And they didn’t just break up. They didn’t fall out of love. She died, Sam. It takes a while to heal from something like that. Especially since he still loves her.”

“I know he does,” Sam quickly replied.

“So then what is this? Sex?”

The brunette shook her head. “It’s not about the sex. I really like him.” She paused for a moment before adding, “I think I love him.”

Nicole inhaled as her eyes grew bigger, completely surprised by the confession. “How long has it been going on?” Her voice was softer now.

“Almost two months.”

Nicole shook her head and breathily laughed as she slowly folded her arms across her chest. With her lips pushed out, she shook her head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He wasn’t ready yet.”

“Wasn’t ready for what?”

“Well, for reactions like this.” Sam waved her hand around the redhead, and Nicole rolled her eyes as she unfolded her arms.

“I’m just worried.”

“I know, and I appreciate that. But we don’t need your protection. We’re adults, and we know what we’re doing.”

“Okay.” Nicole nodded. “Okay, you’re right. I just want to make sure that whatever you’re doing, it’s for the right reasons. Because in the past four years that you’ve known each other I’ve never seen either of you show any interest.”

Sam let out a small sigh. “I know. We started hanging out a lot after Kathy died. We ran into each other one day while getting coffee and just started talking. And then after becoming good friends, we went out to dinner.” She smiled at the memory, but her smile dropped. “I know he still hasn’t completely healed from it. And I’m not trying to be a replacement for Kathy, because I know that I can never be that. Nobody can.” She shook her head and sighed. “But we really bonded, and feelings grew.” A small smile spread across her face as she shrugged.

Nicole looked at her best friend for a few moments. “And you really like him? Like for real?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

Nicole pursed her lips and exhaled. “Okay.”

“So, you’re okay with this?”

“If you two are really happy, then yeah.” Nicole smiled. “That’s all I want for the both of you.”

Sam smiled back at her. “That’s all I want too.”

Nicole wrapped an arm around her best friend, and they walked back out to the bar to enjoy the rest of the night with their friends.

---

Two weeks later

After a long day of work, Nicole walked through the door and kicked her boots off before setting them against the wall. With a sigh, she shrugged off her jacket and hung it up on the coat rack. 

“Baby, I’m home!” She yelled from the bottom of the stairs, but received no answer. She trudged up the stairs, gripping onto the railing to support her tired legs, and saw Waverly laying in the bed, facing away from the door. She smiled at the woman, figuring that she was asleep before going into the bathroom to pee. While she was drying her hands on the towel, she noticed a tampon wrapper in the trashcan, and her stomach dropped as the familiar feeling of disappointment washed over her. Every bit of her hoped that there was some other explanation for it, but she knew why it was there. Waverly had gotten her period. 

She let herself cry a little bit before wiping her eyes dry so that Waverly wouldn’t see. After looking herself over in the mirror and taking a few deep breaths, she opened the door and walked out into the room. It was dark aside from the one lamp in the corner providing a little bit of light, and she could hear the sniffling coming from Waverly. She slowly crawled onto the bed and wrapped her arm around Waverly, holding her tightly as she pressed the front of her body against her, and Waverly’s soft crying turned into sobs.

“I’m so sick of this,” Waverly managed to say through her tears.

“I know baby,” Nicole cooed. “Me too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, baby, it’s not your fault.”

“It’s my body. I’m the one who keeps failing to get pregnant. It’s not that hard. It shouldn’t be this hard. People get pregnant all the time, even when they don’t want to. So why can’t we?”

“We will, baby.”

“I don’t know if I believe that anymore.”

“Hey, look at me.”

Waverly turned her head, and Nicole looked into her reddened, tear-filled eyes. 

“We will. It’s going to happen. We just have to keep trying.”

Waverly sniffled. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep going through this. It’s too much.”

“It’s okay. We can take a break anytime you need it.” She soothingly rubbed her hand along Waverly’s shoulder as the brunette nodded. “Do you want me to get the heating pad?”

With a small sigh, Waverly nodded again.

“I’ll be right back.” Nicole smiled sweetly before kissing the top of her wife’s head, and walked into the bathroom before returning with the heating pad, and holding Waverly in her arms as she eventually fell asleep.