Chapter • 18

♱ •⋅ 1750 B.C. ⋅• ♱

Callisto was difficult to deal with, but he wasn't like Asra or Elaine used to describe him, he was just like a child who wasn't sure what he wanted or didn't want.

He was probably a lot more childish than Loren and if that was true it wouldn't surprise me one bit.

"What should I do, then?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow "stay in my room and do nothing?"

He opened his mouth, but then closed it.

He knew I was right.

If it were up to him, that would be all I could do.

"Not that... I..." he sighed and leaned back against the wall, "I just don't want you to get hurt.

That pissed me off.

"I'm not made of porcelain, Callisto" I growled and without noticing my eyes became bright, expanding my powers. For a moment it looked as if he was surprised.

"Sorry" I heard him murmur softly "if you really want to do something to help Lucifer..."

I denied with my head.

"I don't want to help, I want to give back. I vaguely remember waking up while you were injured" I had to admit "I know you forced her to heal me".

He didn't answer, but I didn't need him to answer. It wasn't as if I needed affirmation.

"Well, now that you understand" I said turning to the mirror again "come home".

He denied with his head and moved closer to me, the citrus scent he wore flooded my nostrils and I felt his face fall onto my shoulder.

"I'm not going back without you" he mumbled like a sly kitten "but I won't intervene since you seem to hate the idea... just... let me stay here."

Was he asking for permission?

I sighed.

"And Loren?" The prince's name had barely left my lips and I was already feeling regretful. Callisto had never said his name to Asra.

His eyes widened, but even though he had never told Asra his son's name, it wasn't like it was really a secret. It wasn't as if she could know, as if I couldn't know.

"He..." Callisto grunted and sank his face into my neck "he'll be fine" he said softly as his arms wrapped around my hips.

No, it was something I would normally say, but the way he held me seemed different. It wasn't like how Asra had described him, but rather like the fragile moments he had had at Elaine's side.

"It's going to be okay" I murmured sliding one of my hands through his hair "he'll be fine."

The brunette grunted as if he didn't believe my words and as if he partly didn't even believe in his own abilities.

"I'm saying everything is going to be fine" I had to repeat "if you don't trust that you are capable of doing this, trust me."

Quartz eyes stared at me as if trying to understand what was different. Who was the person in Asra's body, but all I could do was laugh. I couldn't speak, never could.

"I am tired of the role that was imposed on me previously" I muttered again "so... let me help. I do not wish to be your empress or even have your love" I said calmly and as unrealistic as it seemed, I was not lying "just... let me help you, help Loren and make this place less painful."

Callisto's mouth opened, but he was unable to speak. He was clearly confused and wondering about too many things. Too many people.

It was obvious that he would never believe me or anything I came out with, after all Asra had done too much wrong. She had sinned too much.

But she had never done anything against Loren, and Callisto saw that as a good thing. As something to be considered.

"Why?" he finally asked, his eyes wavering as he stared at me "why such a... sudden change?"

I forced a smile, a smile I forced many times during my past life. A smile with you, a smile perfect for social life.

"Because sometimes..." I took a deep breath "sometimes you have to see things as they are and..." I turned towards him and with one hand on his face, I sealed his lips "and, because what I claimed to feel for you... was never love."

Callisto flinched and I watched him move a few steps away. It was something he would never hear from Asra, it was something that seemed to have struck him like a dagger in his back.

"W-what?" his voice was flawed and it somehow hurt me, but I sighed.

"Love is nothing that suffocates or demands" I spoke and without waiting for him to hear me, I felt myself on my bed, one leg over the other as I leaned forward "I... I really felt something for you, after all... you saved my life" I smiled "but... love? It probably wasn't that, it never would be as long as you kept acting like a crazy, obsessive maniac."

"Who?" he muttered.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Who told you that?" Callisto's voice seemed to carry a mixture of hurt and irritation.

Did he really not know about the rumors? Didn't he know about the things that were often spoken to Asra? How could he not know? Even Azrael was making this clear in front of the king.

It was obvious that he knew and it made me laugh.

"How can you ask who?" I spoke as my head fell to the side "haven't you ever heard? About the king's crazy mistress? About the obsessive concubine?"

My lips rose in a cruelty laden half moon.

"They never said that from the corners, Callisto" I spoke getting up from the bed "I heard them, every day. I ignored them, ignored even Azrael's cold words, but..." I stared at him and now my face was impassive, without the slightest expression "I also possess something called feelings" I had to speak as the king's face contorted "do you think anyone would like to hear things like that? Do you think anyone would willingly endure that?"

He tried to move closer, but stopped two steps away.

"Why... didn't you say anything to me?" That's what he asked with his mouth frowning and his face too tense.

I forced a corner smile.

"Because all that was true" I spoke crossing my arms over my chest "because I was pitiful and that's exactly what they said about me, but... I don't want to be that anymore. I'm better than that, Callisto."

He nodded.

"Me... I'm sorry..." he mumbled like a child who didn't know what else to do.

"I don't need your apology" I said shrugging "just... can we turn this page? Stop treating me like I'm worthless and I promise...I won't screw it up by expecting you to love me."

Callisto's mouth opened, but not a single word came out of it. He just contented himself with nodding.

Well, that was enough for me, that was what I needed at the moment and I had finally gotten it.

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