Would Have Been A Dead Man

“Chibuzor, welcome!” Fred who was standing outside greeted when he saw Chibuzor the caretaker passing. “Are you just coming back from church or you are just returning from exile? Because I didn’t see you around yesterday”. Fred said.

Chibuzor looks at him wearily. “I’m coming from church”. Chibuzor said.

“Chibuzor keinasup na?” Fred said asking Chibuzor what was going on. “Nothing de sup! I wan go my house!” Chibuzor said to Fred telling him all he wanted was to go indoors. Then he stopped. “Abeg, you know whether that Yoruba demoness de around?” Chibuzor asked Fred. He was asking if Lanre was at home referring to her as a demoness.

“Chibuzor, stop that! Guy, you are a man, stop oppressing the poor girl. You should stop calling her that”. Fred said. Chibuzor shook his head.

“Dem say na who wear shoe for leg know as e de do am. Who never shuk leg put, make him no shut the mouth of who wear shoe de complain”. Chibuzor said saying a parable using the Nigeria pidgin. He said, “There is a proverbs that says, it is the individual putting on a shoe that can tell if it hurts or not. The individual without the shoe should therefore not try to shut him up if he should complain”.

Fred clapped his hand after hearing Chibuzor quoting the notorious Nigerian proverbs. “Chibuzor, tell me now, how does Lanre affects your life that she has now become a burden to you?” Fred asked. Chibuzor looked up. Then he looked down, then at Fred.

“Fred, I don’t have strength to tell you anything. Bug the summary is this, that girl is a witch. If you think I am just wanting to oppress her, then travel the journey yourself and you will testify worst”. Chibuzor said. Then he tapped on Fred’s shoulders. “My advice is that if you see that demon, run! Because she will kill you before your time”. Chibuzor said. He didn’t know when he burst out crying.

“Fred God saved me! God saved me yesterday, I would have been a dead man”. Chibuzor said crying. Fred was taking aback on the sudden display. He wanted to laugh because it felt like he was seeing a comedy skit being played out before him live.

“Chibuzor what are you doing seating on the floor and crying like a child!” Fred asked in surprise. He was trying so hard not to laugh. The next thing he saw wa that Chibuzor was already removing his shirt.

“Guy see my body! Take a look at me!” Chibuzor said still crying. Fred was astonished at the sight of Chibuzor’s body especially his back.

“Chibuzor what happened to you? Dem beat you for your dream?” Fred asked. Chibuzor got annoyed at Fred’s question. “I de show you wetin that witch do me you de ask me mumu question. E be lyk say you wan chop slap”. At this point Fred could no longer hold it in, he burst out laughing. He had asked Chibuzor if he got all those marks on his body in the dream. This was what stirred Chibuzor up to tell him that he was showing him what Lanre did to him but he was asking him a stupid question. And ended it by telling Fred he would slap him.