What Mattered The Most

I sat close to Laurie in The Charmont. My elbow was on the back of the couch as I propped my cheek with my palm to face him. My legs were on the cushion, and my shoes were tossed aside. I had no desire nor did I need to be properwhen I was with him. The orange light from the floor lamp was dim and fuzzy. Laurie thought to switch on the glass chandelier, but I stopped him before he could move an inch. I wanted to stay in the shadow with him.

"You should get some rest," he squeezed my thigh gently. "Don't you have to be somewhere with Wesley in the morning?"

"How could you talk to Thomas like that?" I ignored his question. My head was spinning, and I couldn't stop smiling. "That was very brave of you."

Laurie didn't smile. Instead, he covered his mouth with his hand for a moment and said: "I knew he'd be furious if I talked to him that way, and that'd be normal. But you saw that look on his face when we left."

"You think he wants us gone," I pouted before it turned into a chuckle. "How silly, why would he want that? We are no use to him all of a sudden because – I don't know – he has Wesley already?"

He swept his palm over his face. Lifting his eyes, the wrinkles gathered on his youthful forehead, and he reached to hold my face in his hands. 

"It doesn't matter," he finally smiled. "What Thomas wants doesn't matter. We will leave, and we will leave soon."

"I'd like to go to the ocean, please," I said, staring into those determined eyes.

And going to the ocean was what we did. I missed the sound of waves in the dark, the salty breeze that filled my lungs. Standing on the beach, my mind was empty. And in that emptiness, I was relieved.

Delighted, I took off my heels and threw them at Laurie. He was caught off guard and dodged. Giggling at how tousled his hair looked in the wind, I stumbled into the ocean. It was October, and the water was cold. I didn't care. He yelled and tried to stop me. I didn't listen. Shivering in the waist-deep water, under the darkness of the starless night, when no one was around, I felt young and free.

"Laurie," I called out for him with my arms open wide, "come."

He hesitated, though not for long. He came to me. When he was close, I moved away and jokingly mocked that he wouldn't be able to catch me. I splashed water all over him when he attempted to chase after me. Eventually, I grew tired and let him catch up to me. I laughed as he grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him so he could hold me still.

"Just like the damn old days," I wrapped my arms around his neck. I was happy when I had him by my side.

"I love you, Anne," he said as he kissed me. I couldn't see his expression. "I fucking love you."

-----

In the early hour of the morning, from the window in Laurie's apartment, I saw Wesley leaning against the car hood and waiting downstairs. He was always a quarter of an hour early, no matter what he needed to attend to.

Dreadfully, I grabbed my purse and began dragging my feet to the door. I regretted drinking and staying up late. Although it was done, I had to focus on the work ahead.

"Must you go?" Laurie frowned. "Can't you do what you need to do tomorrow?"

"I'm on a schedule," I pursed my lips. "Or there'll be trouble."

Laurie didn't insist any further. He knew better than to stop me. In the elevator, I wondered what he'd do today before quickly shaking my head and getting rid of that thought.

Wesley was smoking when I greeted him. He looked solemn.

"You don't look miserable at all," I attempted to light the mood. "Why the long face?"

"I have a bad feeling about today," he squinted as he puffed. "Thomas should go to this kind of job himself."

"It'll be all right," I opened the passenger side door. "Don't worry too much about it."

"Why do we have to go deal with the Italians?" He got inside the car with the cigarette hung between his lips. "They're going to fuck with us."

I couldn't recall the last time I heard him swear.

-----

On a warm late November night in 1931, I returned to Angelino Heights from watching Frankenstein with Laurie. I sat a few seats away from him in the theater. I wasn't allowed to be seen close to the dashing young Murphy, the brother of Lizzie Murphy-Philips, and the promising movie star. Laurie deemed that order absurd, for he had already quit his acting career before it could blossom fully. The distance, however, didn't stop us from looking over our shoulders and making silly faces at each other during the show.

"There you are, Anne," Thomas greeted me in the foyer. "I need to speak to you."

The smiles on Laurie and I's faces froze. He nervously looked away, and I stumbled over my words.

"Yeah…Yeah," I repeatedly nodded, "sure."

Thomas glanced at Laurie, who, in turn, hurriedly excused himself.

"Goodnight," he mumbled and left without making any eye contact.

"What's the matter?" I shrugged and tried to sound as natural as I could. "Did something happen?"

"I'm sure you've heard about the bounty on Wesley Lee's head," he was straightforward. Pulling out a cigarette from the pack, he lit it up and handed it to me while he waited for me to switch my brain from enjoying entertainment to discussing business. "He's been on the run since Lebedev's death, and the Russians want him dead. That's not news to you, is it?"

I shook my head.

"I want you to find him," he didn't take a cigarette for himself. "Not to kill him, but to recruit him. For old times' sake, I hope he'd agree."

Hearing Wesley's name made me more nervous than excited. For the past six years, I hadn't heard from or caught a glimpse of him, and it'd bring me nothing but joy if I were to see him again.

"How?" I asked carefully. "The Lebedev family's looking for him in a frenzy."

"It will calm down, sooner or later," he said confidently. "I have my ways to settle it with them."

He smirked. And it took me way too many years to find out what he meant by his way that day.