I sat alone at Lizzie's party, drinking. I thought of asking Laurie to come with me but decided against it. I wanted to be alone; I needed to be alone. Laurie was right; I couldn't find the solution to my problems at the bottom of a bottle. Yet, what I could find, was temporary escape.
Lizzie came up to me a few times. She told me to knock it off and to get myself together so I wouldn't look as pathetic as I was. Her words came in from one ear and immediately left from the other while I smiled and nodded at her. However, the last time she came to me, I was no longer in an agreeable mood.
"Oh, leave me alone, will you?" I complained in annoyance. "Why does everyone want to tell me what I should and shouldn't do?"
"I'm disappointed in you," Lizzie raised her eyebrows. Her cheeks were red, and I could tell she had been drinking. "I never expected you to be this soft."
"I'm not soft," I was defensive. "You can't tell me that you don't find this whole thing ridiculous."
"Keep your voice down," Lizzie hushed me. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Wesley standing near us, holding a glass of champagne, and looking somber. "Of course, I find it ridiculous. But if you're sober and use half of your brain, you'd see it as a chance for you and Laurie."
I flung my arm to get her to go away. After staring at me with a frown for a few seconds, she sighed and left.
After putting an unlit cigarette between my lips, I crossed my forearms and rested them on my knees. With a half-drank bottle of whiskey in my hand, I buried my head between my arms.
Someone sat down next to me. Presuming Lizzie had come back, I didn't lift my head.
"Can you please just leave me alone?" I said in a muffled tone with my eyes closed.
"It's me," said a different voice than I expected. I felt a hand on my back. "I want to see if you're all right."
"Sure," I gradually sat straight, my eyes struggling to adjust to the bright lights. I must've sounded rattled, and my eyes were red from the excessive drinking and exhaustion.
Wesley was worried and – if I wasn't mistaken – sad. He frowned and narrowed his eyes. The fine wrinkles on his forehead and the corners of his eyes spelled out a sentiment unlike what I had seen before. He was close. His hand slid down my back until it no longer touched me.
I smiled bitterly and unscrewed the cap. He grabbed my wrist and gently squeezed it to stop my motion. He confiscated my bottle and placed it on the table away from my reach.
"I'm sorry I didn't come to you until now," he said, "I didn't think it'd be a good idea to be seen close to you in public."
"Then why are you next to me now?" I pouted.
"I can't watch you drink like this," his voice was deep and calming as usual. "I want you to know that no matter what you do, I'll support you."
He moved back a little when I got close to his face and said: "You're too kind."
"I'd like to think I can get some good karma for being kind," he chuckled. I didn't.
"Why are you so kind to me?" I asked and demanded in confusion. "I guilted you into staying here when you wanted to start over and keep away from this life. If it's anyone else, they'd hate me."
"I knew you were genuine when you asked me to stay, so I stayed," he said sincerely. "We've known each other for thirteen years. I watched you grow into the person you are today. Do I need a reason to be nice to you?"
Staring into his dark eyes, I was drowned in sorrow and lost for words.
"Do you remember that one time you stood up for me?" He smiled as he began to reminisce. "That one time Mr. Wang tried to blame me for what happened to Sue?"
I remembered, clear as day.