Chapter 29: Homer X Jill

As September came to a close, Homer was putting a great deal of thought into the third quarterly report. Homer was quite sure that no one would actually read this report. In the best case scenario, decades from now, when whoever held custody of the records decided they could be released, they would provide a record of what exactly had happened for the sake of historians. But in the here and now, writing these reports over 2052 had been greatly encouraging to Homer's sense of morale. Really, they were inspirational to the Rainbow Shirts in general, although as far as friends were concerned, these were just shared happy experiences.

It was difficult to believe the gloom with which 2052 had opened. The Rainbow Shirt had suffered humiliating defeats in short succession over the winter. With the death of nearly a fifth of the Social Justice Army in the short time of just two ill-advised engagements, and the utterly preposterous extraction of Cassidy Jones by fascist forces in broad daylight, there were doubts that the organization would ever recover.

But far from wasting away, the Rainbow Shirts had hit a newfound mother lode of targets. Jill Smith declared themself an enemy of the state, was disowned by the Free State of Iowa and the Hunter's Guild, and fled to safe harbor in the Free State of Dakota. The Social Justice Army arrived, laid siege to Bismarck, and within a month had forced them to sue for peace. They surrendered most of their weapons to the New American Indian Movement, and offered labor to dismantle the oil pipelines that had provoked the dispute between natives and whites in the first place. Homer couldn't much figure out why this had caused any dispute at all. It wasn't like these pipelines were bringing any oil into the Free State of Dakota directly, yet what little oil the Free State of Dakota did have, they wasted in making war against the natives who were obstructing operations.

The Rainbow Shirts had taken a hands-off approach to the conflict once resolution was close to hand and left as soon as the New American Indian Movement asked them to, which didn't take long. But in the months that followed, something strange happened. The Free State of Dakota was toppled by an internal revolution that appeared to have been backed by, but not directly instituted at the direction of, the New American Indian Movement. Little was known about the new government, but they did hold elections for a new state legislature which immediately put out one and only one surprisingly specific demand- they formally called for a Second Constitutional Convention, citing as their reason, to resolve the disunity of the United States caused by the Great Blackout.

Homer Ikari had no idea what to think of this demand at the time, and had to do research to figure out what exactly a constitutional convention even was. Upon completion, Homer Ikari realized that what the Free State of Dakota was proposing was nothing less than the complete dissolution and restoration of the United States.

On one end Homer was pleased with the idea of the country having some actual meaningful authority again. But on the other, Homer saw what had happened to other countries that had tried to change their constitutions. Chaos and destruction was normal in such places, and instability reigned supreme even when the process could be conducted peacefully and successfully. Such a situation would be little improvement over the current status quo. Homer was determined to oppose it, but couldn't quite figure out how.

Accentuating the problem was that everywhere the Rainbow Shirts had tried to hunt Jill Smith down, the same thing happened. The Rainbow Shirts wee successful in forcing the local oppressive petty government from power. A compromise ensued, and within a few months, there was a revolution, a new government, and a flat demand from the new state legislature that the United States hold a Second Constitutional Convention.

Some states took the hint without needing the invasion and revolution part of the cycle. Iowa and Illinois were two such notable examples of states that quickly followed the lead of both Dakotas. Other grew belligerent, and fought more bitterly to the end to avoid being displaced. Including both Dakotas the Rainbow Shirts had succeeded in liberating five states- but from what? What did they really know about any of these places, save for that Jill Smith had escaped to them?

That was something else that bothered Homer Ikari. While Homer had not known Jill Smith for very long, it seemed unlikely that she was a fascist. Jill's daring raid to rescue Cassidy Jones, a known associate of Jerry Shankar from a soon-to-end captivity was baffling in several ways. So too was the fact that Jill eschewed explanations of her behavior to instead, she just keep running- with suspicious efficacy to boot. The Rainbow Shirts had engaged with many entrenched governments in battles they could have easily lost. But a combination of poor military tactics and planning on the parts of their opponents usually guaranteed a victory for the typically outnumbered and outgunned Rainbow Shirts. Homer had seen how Jill Smith nearly single-handedly defeated the Chicago Police through judicious planning and quick reactions. If these fascist governments were allies as they seemed, why wasn't Jill Smith making any similar such effort to assist them?

At first Jill Smith was welcomed into these places as a celebrity by governments eager to do battle with the Rainbow Shirts, an organization which they sneered at. But as time went on Homer Ikari noted another suspicious trend- governments which had, as a matter of public record, denounced the actions of the Rainbow Shirts were eager to hand Jill Smith over to them. However, the usually did so in such a way as to attract the scorn of the very group they were trying to appease. Whoever ran the negotiations, they were always disgusted by the misogynistic language casually used by the official government representatives. In one particularly grotesque case, the Social Justice Army was offered half a dozen persons who merely physically resembled Jill Smith- all of who held visible scars of torture for their being so accused. This was the one and only time Homer Ikari had supported Esther Okerye's usual request to make sure there were no survivors in a proposed plan that guaranteed the death of all the relevant officials.

So it was that on October 1st Homer Ikari was preparing to meet one and only one prisoner, at the behest of the Provisional Government of Oregon. Homer observed that this particular state did not seem particularly well run, but at least they weren't in the process of killing anybody. Or maybe they were just better at hiding it. In any case, he was sitting in the interview room of the prison alone, patiently awaiting for the person who was allegedly Jill Smith to arrive.

To Homer Ikari's great surprise, it really was Jill Smith. Homer wasn't expecting to even be able to recognize her after several months of hard living in the most random parts of the country. Homer hadn't realized that even back then Jill wasn't wearing much make-up, and wasn't all that clean. But what really struck him as a reminder of Jill Smith's identity was that enthusiastic attitude, hands clapping even through manacles and a big broad smile.

"Oh wow!" Jill said. "It's you! I can't believe you came! I never thought you were going to come! I could hug you, but uh, you know, I'm kind of tied up at the moment. Ha ha. Ha."

The goofy nervous way Jill spoke reminded Homer of that fateful day they met facing off with the Chicago police. Where was Jill's confidence? Wasn't this the person who set the country on fire?

Homer motioned the guards to leave, and then for Jill to sit down. Homer was at a loss for words despite extensive preparation for this interview. Partially this was because Homer had almost completely forgotten the original reason why they had been trying to find Jill Smith in the first place.

"So, uh," said Homer, pretending to look through his notes. "Why did you attack our facility just to free Cassidy Jones?"

"It's actually a big misunderstanding," said Jill. "I got a tip. They just didn't tell me where she was, so I assumed the worst. Us Iowans are really protective of the Oracle you know."

"Right, right," said Homer. "And the whole, forsaking your command of the Hunter's Guild, and being declared an outlaw by the Free State of Iowa. What was going on with that?"

"Well I just you know," said Jill, nervously giggling. "I was kind of worried that maybe you wouldn't believe me, and that you'd try to kill me or something, so I tried to get you all to follow me around so we could work together and wipe out fascism! Ah...yeah, um, yeah, this sounded a lot less weird when the Oracle suggested it."

"The Oracle told you to run off to the Free State of Dakota?"

"Oh yeah!" said Jill, giving a big thumbs up. "And she told me all the other places to go after that too. We started with the weaker ones. But Oregon, wow, Oregon is a tough nut to crack you know? They're really good about uh, keeping the death squads in the uh, mountains. Way better training than usual too. That's how they got me. I was freeing a slave camp of lumberjacks and got left behind. Lucky they didn't kill me, honestly, except I guess you guys have wanted posters of me floating around right? Huge reward and all?"

Homer had completely forgotten about those posters. Homer would need to talk to Barack about the dollar amount. When they made the poster, Barack was in a much angrier mood. Now it wasn't all that clear Barack cared much about Jill at all.

"Yes, right," said Homer, pretending to look at this papers again. "Well, you know, the only purpose of this meeting was to interview you to make sure you are the real Jill Smith. And I'm satisfied. So now I'll just call in the warden and we'll work out the details. Guards!"

They waited there for several awkward seconds. Homer suddenly became acutely aware of the fact that the guards were no longer outside their room.

"Where did they go?" Homer asked, perplexed at the turn of events. In retrospect their lack of interest in the conversation seemed suspicious, what with Jill's reference to death squads and slave camps in the mountains.

"Oh!" said Jill, hands clapping again. "The prison riot must be starting now! What good timing! Golly, I must have made a great impression on them, if they stepped up the timetable just to give me a hand!"

Eyes wide open, Homer dashed to the window. Out in the yard, there was a huge riot. The room must have been soundproofed or else they would have heard it.

"Oh no," said Homer. "Not again!"

"I know it really sucks," said Jill standing next to Homer, nodding her head. "But the good news is that the guards are such sadistic assholes they don't know how to fight. We've been building crude weapons for weeks. Even practicing how to use them! In public! They just think we're fighting each other! Ha! I wish I could have seen the look on their faces when we turned around at the last minute and shoved the weapons in their faces!"

Homer suddenly became acutely aware of the fact that Jill was unburdened of the manacles, and just using her hands to gesture normally while talking. He simply stared.

"How did you get out of your chains?" he asked, incredulously.

"Your electric pen," Jill said. "The static discharges just about anything electric, including electric manacles. I learned how to do it from an old hobo in the Rockies. Why is everything electrical anyway? Aren't we in the middle of an electricity shortage or something?"

"It has to do with some very complicated tax incentives that don't exist anymore," said Homer.

"Wow, that sure is amazing," said Jill. "You want to tell me about it over coffee later?"

"Maybe...I mean no!" said Homer. "Don't you get what's going on here? The Oracle's sending you out on missions to destroy the country? This is all according to Jerry Shankar's plan!

"Who's Jerry Shank-" said Jill, before suddenly stopping herself. "Sorry, sorry. I'm uh, not using the dogwhistle or whatever it is. I just forgot who that is for a minute."

"Why didn't I see it sooner," said Homer, practically to himself. "The Second Constitutional Convention...that's how Jerry Shankar's going to destroy the country!"

"The Second Constitutional what now?" asked Jill, confused. "I'm not good with all this, um, complicated political stuff. All I've been doing is going around helping people and encouraging them to follow their dreams. It's a lot of fun!"

So much of the situation was becoming so much clearer now. Homer wondered how it was that so many hidden figures and hidden leaders could pop up seemingly out of nowhere, fomenting revolution. Jill's personality, fearlessness, and borderline obnoxious positivity was inspiring calls to action. The exact cause didn't matter. Even the exact people didn't matter. Jill had literally started a revolution inside a prison, with no desire for credit, only a wish to see other people do for their communities what Jill, presumably, had done for Iowa.

"We need to get out of here," said Homer, grabbing Jill's arm.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" said Jill. "Maybe you don't know these people, but they're my friends! And I fight for my friends! Yeeeaaahhh!!!

With that guttural scream, Jill charged out the room. Homer soon realized that the prison building's architecture was so convoluted and non-intuitive that there was no obvious path out of the building. No further time could be wasted with Jill Smith, lest escape became impossible.

Many factors were critical for a revolution to succeed. Solidarity, obviously. A will to succeed. The infrastructure necessary to keep fighting. But in cases like this, Homer could not help but appreciate the metaphor inherent in a regime collapsing just because its soldiers are always getting lost in projects that obviously weren't designed for them.