The love that was lost

I was officially losing my mind now. I remember the first time I saw him. I thought that noone that beautiful could be good and I was right. "Mazaya I'm going to need you to calm down" He calmly said to me. That was the first time since that day that he has actually talked to me. His voice is still thick and sexy.

"Look at me now." His voice was demanding. I did what he said. He could always get me out of my head. But that was.... "Mazaya, I said look at me." I looked back up. I didn't even realize I looked away. He was closer than before. I could feel the body heat coming off of him. I didn't dare look away again. He had a serious look on his face.

"Relax." He said as soft as his voice could allow. I was trying to. But there was just so much on my mind. I missed him and needed him. But he hurt me. Even if he doesn't remember. He was the same. "Mazaya, I need you to take a deep breath okay. just relax. Can you do that for me?" He asked.

"I can't " I finally found my voice. My emotions had a hold of me. "You can. I need you to relax. Think of a happy place. Okay?" He demanded in a soothing tone. I couldn't find my happy place. It's like he could tell. "If you need to, think of someone who makes you happy. Think of someone you love and picture yourself hugging them for comfort. Try to find your happy place?" Luther said while looking at my hands.

I looked down at my hands too. This was bad my emotions were to much. I should've never locked away the pain and love. The purple radiating off of my hands looked like flames. Without thinking I hugged Luther. When he hugged me back instantly, I melted into him. I missed this. He always helped reel my emotions in. He was always there for me when I really needed him.

I wish he never hurt me. I wish I could forget. I missed the love that I lost. I was never suppose to love Luther. We didn't belong but now it was too late for regrets. He didn't even remember me. Maybe I could pretend like everything was okay. That would work out. Maybe now that he didn't have his memories we could be together.

"How do you feel?" Luther whispered to me. I didn't want to answer. I just wanted to stay like this forever. I hugged him tighter to emphasize that. "Here I have something for you. I need you to let me go though." He said while moving his hands from around me. I didn't want to but I moved back and looked up at him. He had a star dazzling smile on his face. I couldn't stop the smile that it created.

"Here I need you to drink this. Don't get upset and throw it. If you don't want it you don't have to drink it." He stated while holding out a cup of something to me. I looked down at it and back up at him. "Do you not want it?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow. He gave me a pointed looked and than started to move his hand back. I grabbed the drink before he could get rid of it..

I would be okay drinking it. He didn't even know me. I looked down at the drink and than back up to him. He raised a questioning eyebrow at me. I hurried up and drank the drink he gave me before he started questioning me. It didn't taste funny. It was just bland, so I was fine. Once done I handed him the cup back. He gave me another smile and I returned it with my own. "Thank you."

"No problem beautiful." He said in a sexy voice. I couldn't help my blush that came. He gave me one more smile before going back to his seat. I wanted my husband back. I needed him back. My dad was back in his seat now. He looked over at me. "Go sit next to Luther. If you start to get emotional again tell us okay?" I was happy he was giving me a chance even after what just happened.

"Thank you daddy." I said while hugging him. I hurried up and went to my seat before he changed his mind. As I sat down, Luther looked at me and gave me a soft smile. I could get use to this. As the meeting started again, my mind started to wander off. I felt more calm though.

This was the first time my emotions got this bad besides the one time I used dark magic a long time ago. I was suppose to marry and create a bond with another god to help balance me out but that wasn't possible with marrying Luther. We had a marriage oath that was permanent but that only relieved it when we were together and still it wasn't enough anymore since I tapped into the source.

I would eventually have to give myself up, otherwise my emotions would always be unstable. I had put wards up to keep my magic and emotions at bay but it seemed that my power finally broke through last night. I am an abomination. But I couldn't be killed because when I was born I became the source of all magic. I am what is created when two gods become intimate that are good and evil and succeed.