Chapter Nineteen

Kakashi's hand wrapped around mine felt so safe as he led me away from the festival laced with people. We were silent and I watched the surroundings as we moved away from the crowd into a wooded area.

A small pond reflected the moonlight, I liked how peaceful it felt. Kakashi stopped walking letting go of my hand as he turned to face me. He moved in closing the space between us, I watched in amazement as he pulled his mask down letting it rest on his chin. My pulse quickens, I don't think I could ever get used to seeing his face. Kakashi took the last two steps to reach me, he was quick as he leaned down wrapping his arms around me and placed his lips against mine.

I wasn't expecting this, it took me a moment to realize what was happening. Kakashi's hand rested along my jaw as he tilted my head. My eyes fluttered closed as my hands reached out around him. I felt heat building inside me slowly, the longer Kakashi kissed me the more I wanted him in ways I have never wanted another person.

Kakashi's tongue slid into my mouth so easily, I hated how that made my stomach roll as more pressure built up in between my legs. His tongue tasted like whiskey and coke. Kakashi's free hand explored my body, his fingers brushed along my side moving onto my stomach. Pain erupted from the fresh stitches that were sown into my flesh. I pulled away from his kiss as I hissed out.

"Sakura!?" Kakashi sounded concerned as his arms wrapped around me almost like a cocoon trying to keep me safe from the world around us. "What-" Kakashi cut himself off looking down at my side, "I'm sorry I didn't-"

"It's fine." I said as my hypersensitive skin began to relax.

"Are you ok?" Kakashi asked ignoring my statement, I looked up into his eye.

"I'm fine, I am just a little sore." I brushed it off,

Kakashi's look told me he didn't buy it, his gaze moved away from my eyes and onto my face. Kakashi's thumb brushed the area underneath the cut on my cheek. His eyes were soft, I didn't know what to say. I don't think I have had a real meaningful conversation with Kakashi before. We were rarely alone, hell I was rarely ever alone.

"We were all inside your apartment-" Kakashi said out of the blue, he brushed my hair behind my ear. "-when Raiden began to panic, Carver had texted him and said you were in the hospital because you were hurt."

"I'm not hurt-" I sighed feeling annoyed. Kakashi's lips curved into a smile, his gaze reflected the moonlight as he looked into my eyes.

"I was terrified." He said.

"Why?" I didn't understand. Kakashi cupped the right side of my face.

"I sat beside you waiting for you to wake up after you were ambushed inside the Iron Village."

"Kakashi-" I turned my head I didn't want to think about the iron village, I didn't want to recall those hellish moments.

"The thought of you being hurt again-" Kakashi smiled, lightly shaking his head. "-scared me to my core."

"I am ok-" I said touching his chest I could feel his heartbeat, it was so fast.

"You're a hard woman to get alone." Kakashi chuckled, I felt a hard surface on my back. Kakashi had me pinned against another tree; I was beginning to think he had a thing for nature.

"Tell me about it." I muttered making him smile which made my stupid heart feel warm and fuzzy.

"I knew what I wanted to say but now..." Kakashi trailed off searching my face, as if he was trying to memorize its features.

"Say what?" I asked.

"You vanished for two weeks, I never know when or where you're going to be. You can be halfway across the world in a second. After this is all over-" He said, "-I want you to remember that there is a reason for you to come back to this village."

"And what would that reason be?" I asked, Kakashi leaned in placing a soft kiss on me.

"Me." He whispered against my lips before engulfing me into his kiss, my heart was flipping in circle not understanding what to do as I kissed him back, my arms reached up around his neck pulling me into him and he pulled me into his chest.

A rush of heat ignited inside my chest and quickly spread throughout my body. Kakashi's hand was in my hair, I felt him running his hand through the strands undoing my braid. His free hand was softly on my lower back keeping me pressed up against his body. I felt myself begin to unravel as I leaned against Kakashi. He gripped a fistful of my hair lightly pulling my head back in order to deepen the passionate kiss.

Large bangs echoed in the nighttime sky; my eyes flew open as I felt my body move away from Kakashi. I opened my eyes and saw a large empty field, tan dirt and decaying buildings was all I could see as far as my eyes would allow me. Fire erupted all around as people screamed my name. Gun fire echoed to my right as I could see charred bodies lying on the earth defeated. I could taste the gunpowder in the air as my shoulders ached from my missions' bag. I looked at the ground holding my head feeling bullets flying past it.

"Sakura?" I jumped feeling a hand on my shoulder. I snapped up and saw Kakashi looking at me worried. My heart was pounding as I felt myself sweat as I was taking in large breaths. Another round of loud echoed filled the air, my body tensed as I almost dropped for cover. "They're fireworks!" Kakashi's voice called out to me, I felt his hands on my body, but I snapped away from his grip. I couldn't...I didn't want him to see this piece of me. I felt a need to shelter him, I couldn't allow myself to unravel with him because I was too dark, and I didn't want to break him. "Hey-" Kakashi cupped both sides of my face but I fought against his grip.

"I-" I needed to get away from him.

"Sakura-!" Kakashi fought back, wrapping his arms around me as he pulled me into a tight embrace. I knew I needed to fight, but my body melted against him. My face was hidden into his neck and he hugged me tighter when more fireworks lit up the sky. "It's ok." He whispered against my hair as I felt him kiss the top of my head. "I'm right here." I closed my eyes, breathing in his familiar scent as I listened to his quickened heartbeat.

Kakashi turned hearing footsteps running towards us. I opened my eyes seeing Kakashi's masked face, I turned to see Raiden had ran into the opening where we stood. He and I locked eyes as another firework was shot off, he and I jumped at the sound showing the effects of war. Raiden bolted after I blinked, I took in a breath looking up at Kakashi whose eyes were swirling with a pained expression. Maybe he was realizing that I was just to damaged and he made a mistake.

"Oh!" Carver's voice turned me to look at him. "We are going to be talking about this." He pointed between Kakashi and me. I cast back in the direction Raiden ran and cursed under my breath. I stepped out of Kakashi's grip as I felt my eyes flicker into their familiar Christmas wreath.

"They went this way!" Naruto came running into sight, this was the last thing I needed.

"Do you know where he went?" Carver ignored everyone as I searched the village for Raiden's chakra.

"The apartment." I saw turning to Carver who jumped the same moment I did we left the leaf shinobi in our tracks. I moved faster than Carver as I vanished from sight and reappeared inside the apartment. I quickly scanned around for him, I heard muffled cries as another round of fireworks hit the sky. I jogged into the bedroom, I quickly lowered to the ground grumping at the pain in my body. Raiden was under the bed; tears filled his large eyes as he was ripped out of this apartment and thrown back onto a battle ground that we could never escape.

"Raiden." I breathed, Raiden couldn't hear me as he was trying to move farther under the bed, but he was a large man he didn't fit very well.

"Raiden!?" Carver yelled finally reaching the apartment.

"Raiden." I breathed, gasping at the pain from laying on the side that was just stitched back up. "It's ok." I reached my hand out.

"Sakura!" Carver moved into the bedroom, but I heard more than just him coming into the room. I had to ignored them as I bit my jaw as I moved under the bed.

"Hey." I called to him, reached out and grabbed his hand. He screamed, thrashing and landing a hit on my jaw. My head was thrown back, and my eyesight went black for a moment.

"Sakura!" I heard Naruto; footsteps moved towards us causing Raiden to whimper.

"Stay back!" I ordered, reaching back out. "Raiden, hey." I said, "I'm right here, everything is fine-"

"No-No!" Raiden held his head,

"Raiden its ok, they are just fireworks." I explained,

"I-I-I can't." He cried. "I can't." He repeated as tears dripped down his face like a steady stream.

"I know." I breathed, setting my head on the floor watching him for a second. I grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly. "It's ok, you're inside the Leaf Village."

"No-No." Raiden breathed.

"Yes." I said, "You are inside the Leaf Village, you were at a festival when they shot off fireworks. Remember you were with Naruto and Carver?"

"Leaf-Leaf..." Raiden breathed, I nodded trying to shift off my side. It felt like I had a colony of pissed off fire ants crawling around on my skin biting me.

"Yeah." I said, "Can you come out from under-"

"No!" Raiden quickly scurried back. "I can't-" Raiden held his head,

"You can, because we are inside the Leaf Village. We are not on a battle ground right now." I reasoned with him.

"I can't move, can't feel anything." Raiden whispered; I gripped his hand harder.

"Do you feel that?" I asked.

"N-No. I-I don't know." He cried as he drifted between two realities.

"Yes, you do Raiden do you feel my hand?"

"Y-Yeah." Raiden sniffed. "But I c-can't move...not-not ready."

"That's fine." I shrugged, "We can stay here until you are ready." I laid waiting for Raiden as I continued to talk to him. My side was burning, my jaw now ached from getting punched by Raiden and my chest felt tight. Needless to say, I was ready for bed and for today to be over. Carver sat at the foot of the bed on the ground as he waited with me. I held Raiden's hand as I wondered where Kakashi was, I wanted to hide all my broken pieces from him but failed miserably. I supposed it was for the best, I hated how my heart ached at the thought of letting him go. I cleared my throat and pushed my thoughts of him out of the way hearing a rumbling coming from Raiden. "Are you hungry?" I asked.

"No." He muttered.

"You wanna eat fast food and watch movies?" I smiled seeing the light return to his eyes as he perked up.

"What movie?"

"Whatever movie you pick." I said, Raiden nodded and slowly started to move. I hissed at the pain in my stomach as I struggled to move so Raiden could get out from under the bed. I felt two arms wrap around my torso and lift me up with ease. I looked behind me, about to thank Carver when I saw he was still standing at the end of the bed.

I turned feeling the color drain from my face seeing his masked face. I turned back and watched Raiden crawl into sight, I was going to reach down and help him but Kakashi stopped me. I watched as he placed himself in front of me stopping me from leaning forward. Carver moved and helped Raiden up, he shot me a look I didn't understand as he took Raiden out of the bedroom.

"What are you-" I cut myself off looking away from his gaze.

"Did you really think I wasn't going to follow?" He questioned with one hand inside his pants pocket and the other holding a phone as he was texting.

"Why do you have my phone?" I asked.

"You left it here." Kakashi answered, Naruto did drag me out of the apartment before I could grab it.

"That doesn't answer my question." I shook my head.

"I realized I didn't have your number." Kakashi said, looking up at me and handed my phone to me. He had put his number in my phone and texted himself.

"Why-"

"I couldn't talk to you the two weeks you were gone." Kakashi answered as he walked into my space, he leaned down close enough I could smell his scent my knees felt weak. "I didn't like it." He whispered, my eyes closed feeling him brush his nose over my skin.

"Why are you-" My brain was like a scrambled egg. Kakashi chucked he reached out placing his hands on my hips.

"Did you think that would scare me away?" Kakashi asked, "It would be weirder if you didn't have PTSD."

"Huh?" I asked,

"Tsunade did some asking around about you." Kakashi answered, "We heard a lot of war stories about you, Reaper." I didn't like when Kakashi called me that and I know my face showed it. "I'm sorry-" He chuckled in my ear, "-would you rather I call you baby-"

"Um-!?" I gulped feeling myself blush, I hated blushing and I hated him. I heard someone walk into the room,

"Sakura-?" It was Raiden, I sighed feeling my body was running out of energy and wanted to sleep for three days.

"I am-" I said turning to walk to him, but Kakashi once again placed himself in front of my path.

"She is busy right now." Kakashi said, turning his head to look in Raiden's direction. "She will be out there soon."

"Um...ok" Raiden nodded and slowly turned to leave. I took a step to follow him, Raiden couldn't be alone he needed to me but once again Kakashi got in my fucking way.

"Who the hell-" I glared up into his masked face.

"I respect that you are devoted to your teammates, that you put them before yourself. I understand Raiden just had an episode but so did you."

"That doesn't-"

"It does mean something; it means you need a moment where you're not constantly keeping others together."

"Who the fuck are you-"

"How about I get you something to eat?" He smiled under that stupid mask, I wanted to hit him. "We can watch that zombie show you love so much."

"I don't have time for that." I shook my head walking around him, Kakashi wrapped an arm around me swingin me back to face him.

"Raiden and Carver lean on you." Kakashi stated,

"Yeah?"

"Who do you have to lean on?" Kakashi questioned.

"I don't need someone to lean on." I said, "I don't have the time to collapse and break down like they can."

"Sakura, you are human."

"What kind of leader would I be if I broke down every time a firework went off?"

"You don't have to be a leader every second of every day." Kakashi said,

"It doesn't switch off and on." I shook my head, "You don't get to pick and choose."

"You don't have to be strong when I am here." Kakashi cupped my face, "You don't have to protect yourself and keep your walls up when it's me."

"There are no walls." I breathed.

"What?" Kakashi appeared confused.

"What you see when you look at me are not walls that I put to keep me safe." I chuckled, "I don't get that luxury."

"I don't understand."

"You see the remains of what war does to a person." I thought Kakashi of all people would know the look a person gives off when they have seen more than what one person should. Kakashi licked his full lips gazing down onto me as he slid his mask down, studying me as if I was a fucking sight to see. I sighed knowing he was searching for the little girl he once knew.

"Stop." I breathed feeling disgusted, how could he look at me with that lust flavored look while my lipstick was still smudged on his lips? Whether or not I agreed with it I was once his student. "Stop searching for her." I couldn't look at him, not when he was looking for a person who could no longer exist inside what I had become. His voice sent shivers through my body; I hated this man with a burning passion.

"Sakura-" His hot breath fanned my neck as he leaned forward, I shivered at the touch of his lips against my neck. "-I stopped searching the moment I laid eyes on you."

"Huh-Huh?" I asked, feeling his lips trail to my ear.

"In case you didn't know, I'm crazy about you." My heart stopped as he stood up, taking my hand in his and walked out of the bedroom. There was a movie playing the living room was dark, and everyone was laying around. The couch was open, Kakashi placed me on it as my brain tried to kick start itself. Carver glanced up; Raiden was asleep tucked in his side lightly snoring.

"You ok?" Carver asked drawing my attention, I nodded without words. Naruto and Sasuke were also on the floor asleep. Kakashi sat on the couch beside me as Carver turned to stare at the TV screen. I leaned on the arm of the couch biting my bottom lip. I could feel his presence beside me, it pulled at me demanding attention.

I didn't want to do this, I moved to get up. I didn't want to be near him, I didn't have the energy to put into my emotions which were thrown all over the damn place. Kakashi grabbed my wrist, he pulled me off my feet as I landed beside him and the back of the couch. I looked up to see his eye lit up looking amused I tried to sit up, but he held me against him.

Kakashi reached up, placing a finger against his lips telling me to be quiet, everyone was asleep. I huffed as he covered both of us up with a blanket, he turned the movie that had ended onto the show that I had liked. With my head on his chest and his arm tightly around me I felt no strength to move. The movie played for three minutes before my eyes shut on their own.

----

"It is chilly!" I turned seeing Naruto was walking towards me, a blanket around his arms. I sighed watching him move to sit beside me on the roof of the apartment building.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked him.

"That was supposed to be my question." Naruto smiled. I turned forward, returning to gazing around at the leaf village. "Everything ok?" Naruto asked, when I didn't respond he huffed. Naruto didn't like being ignored. "So...it's been a crazy day." Naruto was trying to break the awkward silence.

"Yeah..." I said, wishing I could let this conversation die. "Naruto?" I asked looking at him.

"Yeah?"

"If I left Raiden here...would you watch out for him?"

"You know I would. Are you leaving again?"

"No." I shrugged, "Not that I know of."

"Then what do you mean leave him here?" I looked at Naruto with a pointed look, I watched it click through his eyes.

"You think he can't fight anymore!" He gasped,

"Naruto-" I tried to explain.

"No!" He cut me off. "How can you even think that about him?! Just because he had a small melt down doesn't mean he can't fight!" His logic was almost cute.

"It's not if he can fight, it's should he keep fighting." I corrected him.

"What?" He was dumbfounded, which was to be expected. He lived a sheltered apple pie life.

"You don't know yet, you probably won't understand until you become Hokage and until have people looking at you to lay out every detail for them. As a leader you need to know when your soldier can no longer fight. I'm not saying Raiden can't anymore, he was one of the bests. He has talent but he's burnt out. I saw that today-" I said, "-and Carver isn't far behind him."

"But..."

"I already talked to Carver; he wants to stay here inside this village after the Reapers are taken down. I am sure Raiden would agree if I asked him." I said, Naruto smiled liking the fact Carver and Raiden wanted to call this place home. "If I leave them here, I need to know they will be ok."

"You know they will." Naruto answered. "But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you going to stay too?" He perked up but shook my head no. "Why not?!" He whined.

"I am the Commander of another village Naruto." I smiled, "I shouldn't even be here right now."

"Your waiting for the-" Naruto reasoned but I shook my head.

"That was what I told myself." I said,

"What do you mean?"

"It means...I was looking for a reason to explain why I wanted to be here. I am not only here because the Reapers want something from this village."

"Then...Then why are you here?"

"You-" I said, "-Kakashi and this village."

"Sakura..." Naruto breathed. "Then why don't you stay?"

"I don't belong here."

"Yes, you do!"

"Naruto..." I sighed,

"From the stories I have heard about you, you have been doing this a lot longer than Raiden and Carver combined you have to be just as burnt out as they are! You can stay here with us!"

"That isn't how this story will play out."

"Why not!?"

"Because I belong inside the Waterfall Village, I am their Commander. I built that village from the ground up."

"But this is your home."

"That may be, but it wouldn't be safe for me to remain here."

"You know we would fight anything that came through those gates for you!" Naruto made me smile, he was cute a little dim like a broken lightbulb but cute.

"I heard you spent the night with Hinata?" I switched the topic, Naruto blushed five shades pinker than my hair.

"I-I well I spilt stuff on her, so I had to make sure she was ok!"

"Mhm." I hummed,

"And she told me that you're the one who pushed me!" I grinned at Naruto's face.

"So, are you going to see her again?" I asked, Naruto looked forward not looking me in the eye.

"Tomorrow." He answered making me laugh,

"Was that so bad?" I teased.

"What about you?" A sly smile spread across Naruto's face, I sighed...here we go.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I answered.

"Oh come on!" Naruto snickered. "Your telling me there is no one you're interested in?" He was trying to lead me into a trap.

"Nope." I answered.

"Really?"

"Mhm." I hummed.

"Well that is the biggest lie I have heard today." A voice called from behind us, I sighed seeing it was Carver but perked up seeing he was holding three bottles in his hand. He handed Naruto and I each a beer and sat beside me.

"What do you mean Carver?" Naruto questioned, Carver reached out, touching the side of my face that Raiden had hit.

"Damn, he got you good." Carver sighed, yeah it fucking hurt. "Well-" Carver continued on, "How about you ask her about Kakashi?" I glared at Carver as Naruto sat beside me confused.

"Kakashi?" Naruto asked, "Sakura...do you...have feelings for him?" I breathed out and turned to him.

"No-" I was about to say.

"Lies!" Carver overpowered my lazed voice.

"It was not-"

"Lies!" Carver repeated with a smile as an urge to reach out and push him off the roof blossomed inside me. "So, when I was chasing after Raiden tonight and I just so happen to stumble upon you and Kakashi alone in a moonlit field as he was holding you that was just what-?" Carver shrugged, "-you two exchanging recipes?"

"It wasn't anything-"

"I see the way you look at him." Naruto interrupted, "And I can see the way he looks at you."

"He refused to leave your side after you were hurt in the Iron Village." Carver added.

"There is nothing-" I stated,

"When are you going to stop this?" Carver asked, "You accepted the Leaf Village which I know was difficult for you to do. Anyone with eyes can see you two feel something for each other, and when I talked to him-"

"Excuse me?" I interrupted.

"Er...I-I mean it wasn't anything like-"

"What the hell did you talk to him about?"

"You." Carver duhed me.

"Why-"

"I needed to make sure." Carver smiled,

"Make what sure?" I pressed,

"That he would be take care of you." Carver answered, my mouth opened to speak but nothing came out.

"In case you didn't know, I am crazy about you." Kakashi's words floated into my line of thought. I groaned annoyed as my heart fluttering remembering his breath fanning my neck.

"Sakura-?" I turned to Naruto,

"Huh?"

"I asked about Sasuke."

"Sasuke?" I was confused, why was he brought up?

"He wants to know if you still hold a flame for the little emo boy-" Carver informed me, I looked at Carver then back to Naruto and I laughed. After a second Carver joined in, "-she would eat him alive!" He laughed harder as tears formed in his eyes.

"Why is that so funny!?" Naruto didn't understand, and I didn't really want him too. Before my training with Kaguya started, she offered to take my seal from me. I could return to my former self and return to the leaf village but before she would take it she forced me to see my future.

A future I would be bound to if I gave my seal away, I walked through a fog seeing people I knew but I couldn't place their faces to a name. I saw a woman with short pink hair with a daughter named after a fucking salad.

Her daughter's greatest trauma was the fact she never knew her father, that woman's husbands vanishes for over ten years...I watched that woman work, raise her kid and then stare out the window waiting for a man to return home. That was her life, it wasn't the fairy tale I had pictured in my head all those years I pined over Sasuke.

I was so disappointed with my life; how could I have allowed myself to do nothing but be a sad two-bit character? I decided then to not give up the seal and take my fate into my own hands.

"Um-" I said, "-I am just not into him." I shrugged.

"But you were so obsessed with him!" Naruto chuckled,

"I was a kid." I shrugged, "I didn't know what love was."

"And you do now?" Naruto asked, as his words floated through my mind Kakashi's face popped up. I licked my lips and looked away.

"I don't know." I answered.

"Ugh!" Carver groaned, "Stop fighting it already and give in. You clearly like the guy, Kakashi is a good man and-Ahh!" I kicked Carver cutting him off, I watched him fall backwards.

"You-You just kicked him off the roof!?" Naruto panicked jumping to his feet.

"I sure did." I nodded feeling better as I turned and began my way back inside.