Solis Becomes A Teacher

Solis felt inexplicably proud when Noir finally understood the new concepts of romance and even did his homework well. Noir would pore over the pile of novels and dating guidebooks that Solis had given him, making diligent notes and sometimes asking questions.

Noir's subordinates were thoroughly shocked and somewhat flustered when they found Noir treating Solis as some sort of love guru and asking him all sorts of questions on love and dating and relationships with an air of a serious student. And Solis himself, who had never been in a relationship or dated anyone – or, for that matter, even shown an interest in another living creature, was answering these questions with the full aura of a master!

Example A –

Prince Noir: "Solis! Why is this man upset when his husband didn't pick up his phone?"

Boss Solis: "Because he's an idiot who doesn't understand that his husband is busy with work. See, now that's a prime example of what you should never do in a relationship."

Example B –

Prince Noir: "This woman…she said she is jealous because her boyfriend was surrounded by a lot of beautiful women at a business event. Why is she jealous? Wasn't he just working?"

Boss Solis: "Because she's an idiot who doesn't understand that her boyfriend needs to network with his business associates. See, now that's a prime example of what you should never do in a relationship."

Example C –

Prince Noir: "Why does this man not want his fiancée to meet her old boyfriend? Didn't they already end their romantic relationship? What's the harm in her meeting the guy?"

Boss Solis: "Because he's an idiot who doesn't understand that his fiancée can meet whoever she wants and whenever he wants. See, now that's a prime example of what you should never do in a relationship."

Example D –

Prince Noir: "This man told his boyfriend that he didn't want to eat dinner. Why is he fighting with his boyfriend when he came home and there was no dinner for him?"

Boss Solis: "Because he's an idiot who doesn't even know whether he wants to eat or not. See, now that's a prime example of what you should never do in a relationship."

Example E –

Prince Noir: "Why did she tear up her husband's favourite shirt?"

Boss Solis: "I suppose she didn't like the colour. Still, that's no reason to destroy a perfectly fine shirt. See, now that's a prime example of what you should never do in a relationship."

Example F –

Prince Noir: "Why did this man kill himself when his boyfriend broke up with him? Weren't they on a trial relationship only?"

Boss Solis: "Because he's an idiot who doesn't understand how relationships work. See, now that's a prime example of what you should never do in a relationship."

It was endless. Almost every time someone saw these two men, it would be a question-answer session like this!

It was, of course, a completely different matter that these answers made some people want to either stuff a handkerchief in Solis's mouth to shut him up, or bash their own heads against the wall in frustration, or steal that poor, innocent Noir away and tell him to ignore all the crappy romantic advice Solis was giving out!

It was too bad that no one dared to do any of this…and they rationalised it in their own minds by thinking that it was fine for this particular set of people since they were dating each other anyway, and if these strange things and ideas were what satisfied Boss Solis's sense of romance, then he might as well teach Noir as he pleases.

So, Prince Noir's introduction to romance was rather skewed, and he often struggled to make sense of the romance novels he was reading versus what Solis was telling him…but in the end, it worked out somehow.

When Solis was fully satisfied with Noir's ability to pass off as a normal human and a normal boyfriend (although, Solis's idea of 'normal' didn't match with most other people's idea of normal – but poor Noir wouldn't know that until much, much later), he decided to call his stepmother.

His stepmother was quite shocked to hear from him. Her first instinct seemed to be that something had happened to Solis.

"Solis?" she asked disbelievingly. "What happened? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Mother," Solis replied indifferently. "I just wanted to check with you if we could visit your mushroom farm."

His stepmother was silent for a moment. "Is something the matter?" she asked quietly.

"My boyfriend really liked the mushrooms you sent and he wanted to see the farm," Solis said flatly.

There was a sound of something falling on the other side of the phone. Solis's stepmother seemed to be taking deep breaths. After a long pause, she asked, "Solis, I'm sorry, I think there's something wrong with my phone. I couldn't hear you very well. Could you repeat that, please?"

Solis frowned in annoyance. "I said my boyfriend liked the mushrooms you sent and wanted to visit your farm," he repeated. "Is there a problem with that?" he snapped.

"No, no, of course not," his stepmother said quickly. "You…have a boyfriend…?"

"Yes," Solis said curtly.

"Have you been dating long?" his stepmother asked curiously.

"A few weeks," Solis replied.

"What does he do?" she asked.

"Does it matter?" Solis retorted. "Do you need his government ID and tax documents before you let us into your farm? I was unaware that visiting a farm required as much security precautions as a restricted military area!"

"I just wanted to know a little about your boyfriend…" his stepmother said tearfully. "You can visit the farm anytime you want. If you let me know in advance, I'll prepare lunch for both of you."

"No need," Solis snapped. "We'll go to the farm tomorrow morning, then. Please inform the staff. We just want to take a look around and come back – there is no need for any meal or anything outside the ordinary."

"All right," she said. "I'll make arrangements."