Chapter 65 Kingslayer

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Kingslanding

Red keep

Jaime Lannister pov

Today is especially beautiful day, he doesn't remember the last time the weather was this good in the red keep

As he stands guard in the king's study with the wench protecting the queen regent, he can't help but feel like when he first came to red keep after becoming a king's guard

Queen Rhaella looks just as beautiful and gracious like all those years ago, but this time without the mad King, Jaime knew that queen Rhaella was strong, how can she not be when she suffered under the mad king for years and never let it show, even with all that pain she still protected her house till the very end, but no one can stop madness forever

As he watched the queen regent work time passed without him realizing as Loras came to relieve him, Jaime had been guarding the queen's chambers from dawn now it was almost evening, as he made his way towards the white tower he saw myrcella playing with other ladies

As he confessed that the royal children were his, the king allowed them to stay in the red keep, cella was made a lady in waiting for Princess Rhaenys and tommen was allowed to stay with tyrion until he came of age, with this jaime can at least be the father for his children

Jaime still remembers the time the king came to him

The night before the trial of lions

Jaime had been moved from one cell to another these last few days but now he was finally back in the red keep, it looks like this is the end, he hoped that he would at least see his family before dying but Cersei and Joffrey were kept in black cells and no one even knows what happened to tyrion and tommen

As he was stuck here in the dungeon coming to terms with his end the new king walked in with Arthur, the boy looks so much like the silver prince it's haunting

He looked at the new king and didn't know what to say, there was so much he wanted to say but no words came out of his mouth, the boy before him was the biggest reminder of his failures, how he failed the people he was supposed to protect, how he failed everyone and now he is failing to protect his family from the dragons

The boy looked directly at him with those wild grey eyes but something was different about these eyes, they never looked at Jaime with judgment like all the the others but filled with understanding, when he killed the mad king he wanted someone to understand why he did what he did, but the world never game a chance, they were already done labelling him the kingslayer

But this boy who had the most reasons to hate him was actually trying to understand his side

While he still suprised by those grey eyes the king started to speak "All those years ago a boy entered the red keep with a white cloak, some of his reasons for wearing the cloak were selfish like being close to his sister who he loved but somehow that boy found meaning and purpose within this great order, but the world tested his resolve too soon while he did the right thing and saved millions of lives he broke soon after, because such burdens were never supposed to be on such young shoulders anyway"

"Now even after all these years in the body of a man the boy still lives, running away for his problems never growing up, others are still fixing the mistakes he made, but Ser Jaime I don't need a boy who refuses to grow up but the true knight he can be, one that can wear the white cloak proudly like many before him "

How did the king know so much about him, as Jaime looked at Ser Arthur, the man he respected most in the world proudly wearing the Targaryen sigil and the while cloak that never really felt right on Jaime's shoulders after the rebellion

He looked at the new king "what do want from me your grace"

"Tomorrow confess before the court that you sired the royal children"

"I would rather you take my head your grace, can't say I don't deserve it but I won't turn back on my family"

The king chuckles "and the boy comes out, I already told you Ser Jaime I have no use for the boy, but your children need their father more than ever and a boy can't be a father, tomorrow they will lose their mother and their mad brother and they will be declared bastards in front of the court, are you sure they would also like their father's head on a spike, these children have already lost enough don't you think, I am giving you a chance to be a real father to your children not just uncle Jaime, I don't want them to suffer for your mistakes but if thats what you want so be it"

And the king started to walk away from the cell

"Wait" Jaime yelled and the king stopped and turned towards him

He tried to say he will do it but the words never came out of his mouth

The king just smiled at his inability to speak " you have the night to think about it Ser Jamie, I will come back tomorrow if you decide to grow up you will be sent to the court in chains, and if not then you will be sent in a box just like your father"

Present

That night was the hardest in Jaime's life it was so long yet it was over in a blink , the king gave him a lot to think about that night, he decided that even if he failed Cersei and their father he can still be there for his children and his little brother

It was time for him to own up to his mistakes and face the consequences of his actions, maybe one day he can find himself worthy of the white clock on his shoulders and his children will be proud to call him their father