Chapter 9

"Alex were here. Do you want to see daddy right? Come on let's go"Nicolai said.

Shane immediately noticed my reaction so she helped me . It was as if my knees were softening and I could not get out of the car immediately. While Shane was supporting me, Nicolai was ahead just to follow him. Shane noticed my silence so she talked to me first.

"It's ok, that kind of reaction is normal as long as I'm just here ok? Also, Alex I know you are too brave. Cheer up" Shane said to me and cheering futhermore.

We also walked quite a distance. Nicolai was holding a bundle of white flowers. While Shane is supporting me. I still can't believe what is happening. I can't quite imagine that in this situation I will see him. After a while, Nicolai stopped walking and stopped at a tomb which was named.

"Robert Manalo. April 26 1960 - December 06 2017 "

"Dad, After a long long time i found her. Im sorry daddy if it took so long before i found Alex. Alex meet daddy, dad this is Alex. Did you know dad ,Alex is so strong like you. She still fighting for her cancer like you. She's like you daddy. " Nicolai said

i can't speak ,only tears that precede. I don't have a voice to speak, even if I force myself to speak, nothing comes out for them. I finally fell to the ground I lost the strength to stand up again. They let me sit on the ground. They just watched me both. As I sat next to daddy's grave only tears spontaneously spoke for how I felt. I can't explain how I feel joy, sadness, anger but my joy is more dominant when I see him.

I can't even touch, kiss, and kiss him. I was not even given the opportunity to be with him. Why so unfair my faith to meet my dad. I often want to ask Nicolai but I still do not have the courage to ask him.

How many minutes have I been crying? And it seems like the tears are constantly flowing to drip? But seems to be tired of tears? I want to hold back my tears but they are traitors and they do not want to stop. In a few moments, the first tears stopped. I noticed Shane's red eyes when she noticed that I was looking at her,she also smiled immediately.

"You're the one who's crying so I cried too so you have sympathy" she said to me with a smile whenever I can really count on her.

There are times when I need it so I will blame her if she suddenly leaves when I admit to her. I looked at Nicolai he just looked at me and our eyes smiled. A few moments later I called him.

"Come here to me and hug me" i said to Nicolai

"Dad said when we met. I need to give you the hug that daddy gives." He also came to hug me for a while and it took us a while to hug me.

"Why two of you only? How about me? I'm already jealous"Shane said like a baby

"Come here let's have a group hug" i said.

" "Alex, i hope we can bond before you go to Philippines" Nicolai said

"sure no problem" I gave him a sweet smile.

We talked first before thinking of going home. We are here now in the car like the place I was in the back and the two of them were talking I was 4 years older than him so Shane and I looked a bit younger but you didn't notice he was only 18.

He told me how daddy fought cancer. Daddy also battled blood cancer for several years. Just like the pain I was fighting. Nicolai also mentioned that daddy tried to find me but his mommy said that daddy did nothing because even daddy's passport was taken so that he could not return to the Philippines. I want to get angry but it doesn't matter if I get angry . Nicolai also apologized for what her mommy did, so when daddy passed away, he asked to find me and say that he loved me dearly and futhermore apologized for what he did when he left us.

Nicolai also gave me a letter that daddy wrote for me. I do not know how I feel mixed emotions I think. If maybe we were just given a chance to be with daddy maybe I also experienced how to be a princess, how to have a father. I hope I know the feeling of daddy hugging me, kissing my forehead and making me feel loved.

The amount I wanted to do but all of that disappeared like a bubble in everything I found out. It was as if I had turned on a light so that I could lose hope. I was also stunned outside for a few minutes. Shane fell asleep while Nicolai focused on driving. I did not realize that there were tears in my eyes again. I took the photo Nicolai gave daddy pictures. As I looked at the photos I couldn't help but gasp.

I know Nicolai noticed but he just let me go and reached for the tissue. I only smiled at him. Daddy is so happy. I look alike with him, daddy and I are not far apart, we really look like each other. His face knows the fun of him pictures. Others at the park, birthday party, on the beach, at the hospital and most recently the photo with my mom.

I cried even more atleast now I have a face with my daddy not like before that I do not even have an idea of ​​what daddy looks like. The amount I wanted to do with daddy but lost everything. I think mom and I can be together? Maybe the two of them were happy and they met again. While staring at the emptiness, my eyes do not seem to get tired as tears come out as if they are moving forward.