Chapter 6

I am sitting here on my bed. Only my sigh can be heard. I still can't help but thinking a lot of things, especially now that Aunt Elise and Shane are here, Aunt Anna didn't even tell me or maybe she didn't even know. Earlier I was wondering why they are here. I have no idea they are going to come here. I just talked to them aunt Elise the other day but she didn't even mention it or they really have no intention of telling me. I have a lot of questions for Aunt Elise but maybe tomorrow,they will still have no rest and I understand.

As I stared at the ceiling of my room for a few minutes or hours I was just staring at the stars and the moon attached to it. They are so beautiful to look at. She looks like a star, very beautiful to look at, very beautiful to the eyes but very difficult to touch and reach. While still looking at the ceiling I suddenly remembered the meeting Shane and I had had earlier. Her former puffy eyes have not changed at all. Her gentle face that even if you stare all night you will never tired of looking. I hope I also have the opportunity to do that. There was something in my heart that suddenly became happy, scared and anxious waiting especially when I talked to Shane or her mom and dad found out about how I felt for their child.

I am afraid to be judged but I am also afraid to come to the point of repentance because I can not even say how I really feel. I looked up at the ceiling for a few more minutes when there was a sudden knock on the door I do not know which of them but there was something in my heart that I was glad that Shane might be knocking but a few more knocks passed.

"Alex, are you all right?" Aunt Anna replied worriedly.

"Come in. It's open" I slowly got up from my bed I was a little tired after we traveled earlier.

Until Aunt Anna finally entered and sat down next to me and gently stroked my hair and combed my brush placed next to my bed. I miss it like this. I miss mama(mom) this is what she used to do to me. A few more minutes before Aunt Anna spoke.

"I'm sorry Alex I also do not know that they will come even though I was surprised by what they did" she continued to comb my hair.

"Oh, aunt, you have nothing to apologize for, you are not at fault, moreover, you said that you were also surprised when they suddenly came, Aunt Elise, so it's ok" I explained to her while turning around and continuing to comb my hair.

"Of course, before I forget, your uncle and I canceled your flight for tomorrow. Your aunt Elise wants you to stay here for at least 1 week so that their vacation here is worth it. They also want us to be together going home to the Philippines "aunt replied happily she was obviously happy with what was happening.

"Is that so, auntie? I think I can rest for a few days before we go back to the Philippines" I replied to her and continued to go to my aunt.

I think she is meaningful and she immediately guessed it. felt really strong.

"Is something bothering you Alex? I can see in your eyes something you want to say or to know?" It was obvious in my aunt's voice that she was worried for me.

"

Is she still mad at me? "I asked him even though I knew he could not answer my question and only one person could answer my questions.

"You will not know something if you do not know, determine and ask questions. Why don't you talk to her so that all your questions will be known and answered" was her only response to me a few minutes before I spoke again.

"Let me, aunt, when we have the opportunity to talk, I will immediately talk to her and confront her. I also want to apologize to Shane. I know I have many faults with her but aunt, I am preceded by shame and nervousness." I replied to her while asking for an answer from her.

"Will you let shame and nervousness precede you. Before you catch all? It's not bad to be shy and nervous but the bad thing is you can't say how you really feel because if it lasts longer (she pointed at my chest) it will get heavier That. And you do not want to accumulate all that . So until you have the opportunity to say everything she should know Alex " Aunt said

"But aunt" i said

"Nothing but just do it. Oh hey I'm going down huh? I still have a lot to do I will take care of for our dinner. I just went up to look at you and say hello."Aunt said

"All right, aunt, thank you" And then Aunt Anna left. I'm still hesitant about everything my aunt said but I can't do anything other than catch everything.

------ I have been able to take care of myself, I have also been able to clean my body and I am now in front of the mirror. I look closely at my face. My aunt said she looked like my mother. I inherited my eyes, lips and face shape from mama and my nose, eyelashes and eyebrows are from my father and my color is also from my father. To this day I still wonder why my father left me / us. I want to see him, hold him, hug him I want to experience the love of a father.

The amount I want to ask him if he loves mama and me? Why did he leave us? Is he looking for me? Does he know he has a child? But all of is just a question. I don't even know about him, if he is still alive or if he is ok. It was then that I was working on a way to find him but it was destiny that did not want to be with me.

Whatever I was looking for I could not find or find. So I just stopped and they said "don't want to show up, it's hard to find" so since then I have lost hope of finding more. I was out of the car when someone knocked again I thought my aunt might have forgotten to say or take something but I was wrong.

My world stopped for a moment I slapped myself that maybe I was just dreaming but I am not right Shane she is here in my room but why? I can't move, I just stare at her, nothing comes out of my mouth, we can only hear your breath. For a few more minutes, she must have felt awkwardness, so she broke the silence of the whole room.

"Hi" she only said.

i really missed her mala melody voice now I just heard her voice very soft not like before there was a valid rage. "Hi, hello uhm sit down" was all I could say and came out of my mouth.

I did not realize that she was close to me. She hugged me tightly and could barely hear his sobs. I responded to her embrace. I miss her so much I miss her. I can smell her very fragrant hair that you will never tire of smelling. It took us a few minutes to hug and settle down slightly from her crying. We have talked a lot since before but we stopped talking when someone called her. She had to go out and say goodbye again.

The door closed again and I was the only one left in the room. It feels so good to feel that we are ok that she is no longer angry with me. The only problem I have is how I admit to her everything. I was nervous and excited but only the nervousness and fear that she might leave and stay away from me when she found out everything. I was left stunned again while lying down. This day is very stressful and tiring.