IV: Trusted Confidants Part 1

It feels like like it has been days since hearing from the god of dreams.

I sit on my bed, utterly failing in a fight against my urge to smoke. I delicately hold the pipe in my right hand while my left ungracefully fidgets with bedsheets. I’ve never been this nervous in my entire immortal life. It takes all of my will to force myself to put the pipe down and let go of the sheets. My thoughts slink back to what I heard during council.

Was it all just a chance for Hao to show off his good fortune? He seemed reluctant to talk about anything else. Hao didn’t used to be like this; back then he was at least somewhat considerate. He has changed since then, for better or worse is unknown. The Heavenly Emperor might truly be my enemy someday.

But I would like to think he would never take on that role in my life or his own.

For Hao’s own sake, I hope he doesn’t choose that path.

The Dark Path isn’t something immortals take lightly; mortals ought to feel the same way. Regardless of who chooses such a way, whether they be mortal or immortal, shall be punished or killed for straying.

Having power is completely different from using it for evil purposes.

However, it has been law within all the realms that the use of such methods, no matter their true intent, is worth the worst punishment imaginable.

If things are taking the turn I dreadfully believe they are…

Hao may be thinking of straying from the proper path. He should be aware of the consequences of these actions.

Is he willing to do such a thing in order to achieve his goals? I shake my head. While it’s true that I dislike my brother, I trust that he can at least resist the urge to do such horrid things. Perhaps I am only dreaming of the hope that everything can remain as they are now between us. I have too much on my mind right now. I have to save my kits and satisfy the court through a marriage with Ai. I must, on top of that, handle the usual issues concerning the people in the Mortal Realm. I don’t quite know how I’m going to do it. But I promise myself to find a way. I cannot give up on the hopes and dreams for the future.

It is beyond true that love is undoubtedly something unfathomable. Love can heal the deepest wounds or make them deeper. It is the most powerful magic the gods watch over.

I hold the most power of all the gods in the entire pantheon. I consider myself weak, but sometimes I do realize my true power. I plan to use what power I have to whatever extent I must so that I may finally have the happy ending I deserve. I will—

“I received your summons, my friend. How many I help you?” Li Jie strides in, cloaked in the colors of night. He doesn’t say a word as he sits down beside me with the utmost poise. The Dream Immortal frowns. “Please forgive my lack of manners. You just seem like you need a shoulder to lean on and I can only believe this has to do with council earlier today.” He slowly rubs circles on my back.

I sigh. “Li Jie, I am aware that I have never been as particularly close with you as with Qing Yuan; but I require your help,” I hesitantly face my friend, “I need someone to be there for me through all the pain that is soon to come. I do not wish to burden nor distract you alongside your duties as the Dream Immortal, but your words are true. I am asking of you will lend me your shoulder, if only for a moment.” I quickly turn away out of shame. I cannot force myself to meet his gentle eyes. I admit my utter shame in dragging another into my predicaments. I brought Qing Yuan into my life when we were younger, and Uncle Huan has been there my whole life. I’m always graceful, elegant, and beautiful with perfect poise. I have no words to describe the insecurities that now overflow from my heart.

A caring hand lays upon my shoulder. “Xiao Meng, do not think I will turn my back on someone I have always considered a friend. You may tell me everything you wish to disclose. I swear upon the River Yue that runs through my sacred home, not to tell a single soul—even if it is the Heavenly Emperor who asks. You can trust me,” Li Jie vows in a soothing voice. He usually prefers not to get involved in the affairs of others outside of his godly duty.

Hearing his words makes the tension leave my body as I turn back to him with a forced smile. “I thank you greatly,” I swallow the lump in my throat as I think of where to start, “I cannot suppress it any longer. The reason I was so weak after helping you the other evening was because I was suppressing my condition while using as much power as I could spare. I admit that it wasn’t something I should’ve done, but it was part of my duties and I had to do all I required to finish the task. Suppressing it has taken up nearly all of my power, but I’m still nervous about it all,” I lament. I silently wait for the dreaded question. Sweat gathers on my brow and palms. I cringe at the thought of nervous perspiration.

“Whatever do you mean?” Li Jie asks sincerely. He doesn’t know anything about what I refer to, or so it seems. Li Jie begins slowly assessing me from head to toe. He’s not as thorough as Hao because he is only a simple friend. He is a god who easily gets along with others without getting especially close.

I sigh, knowing he won’t find what he’s looking for.

“I do not see anything wrong with you. What has made you think so?”