Late Night Confessional

Somehow I got selected to take the first night watch. It seemed only fitting since I shirked my duties, albeit unknowingly, on the carriage ride out to the manor house. Carrion would be my relief and John would take the final shift till dawn. Cali got to be roommates with Alina instead of taking a night watch.

The house settled into a quiet stillness. Peacefully I sat alone in the living area by the front door. I didn't remember the last time I had just taken a moment to enjoy stillness without a task weighing heavily on my mind. What a gift! Sadly, my wandering mind did not allow me to enjoy the calm for long.

What if Alina did not want to break the engagement? I knew in my heart that I could not refuse her. It's what got us in this mess in the first place. If marrying could change or even delay the gnome's vision, I would serve my country proudly. These thoughts were not new.

But what if we break our engagement and we were meant to be together? Could we be throwing away happiness? I gnawed on this thought for a moment. I do not think that we could lose our friendship so easily. I shrugged off the thought as inconsequential.

Who might Alina marry, if not myself? Before Alina's birthday, the thought of her marriage seemed distant and too fanciful to give too much thought. Now the idea made me smile. She could choose anyone in the kingdom and I am still not sure they would deserve her.

If she chose someone I knew, it might make things uncomfortable between the gentleman and myself. I did not want to forever be ingrained in someone's mind as their wife's first betrothed. If Carrion became king, I'm sure I would never live it down. That is if he talked to me at all.

My face blanched. Carrion as king was a scary thought. If I thought King Caderyn's style of ruling was distasteful, I could only imagine my role under the rule of the tightly wound twin. At least I could hope that Alina would be as strong as her mother.

I yawned. Although these thoughts helped pass the time, I'm not sure they were helping keep me alert. I decided to make a round like a sentry around the house. I started with making a loop in the downstairs rooms.

Nothing out of the ordinary caught my eye. I continued upstairs to make a loop there. I had hoped this little walkabout would help me stay awake enough to return to my comfortable chair for the majority of my watch.

Upstairs I heard voices quietly whispering. Out of instinct, my hand went to the hilt of my sword. At least Carrion did not insist we defend the Princess only with twigs and sticks.

At that moment I wished I had grabbed a knife as well as my sword. If these whispers were a threat to the Princess, my sword would most likely be too long to wield with a decent amount of effectiveness in the tight hallway. A dagger would be ideal.

I slowly inched toward the noise. As I approached the doorway of a room with the door cracked open, I relaxed. The whispers I heard were familiar voices. The girls had yet to fall asleep.

"It's been a while since we have had a proper sleepover," Alina whispered

"Especially if you don't count your birthday. Though no sleeping happened then, so I suppose it was not a sleepover," Cali retorted.

"Hopefully we can get some more sleep here. It helps to think Jack is watching out for us," Alina said. My heart warmed.

Cali responded with an affirmative grunt. She did not seem to like Alina's change in topic. Maybe she was offended that her protection was not what Alina praised.

"He tries so hard to do anything for us. He let you beat him up," Alina earnestly explained. I did not let Cali do anything. Her skill simply overpowered mine, but I was not about to reveal my eavesdropping to spread that news.

"He did that to train his future bride," something in Cali's voice turned sour. This topic aggravated her.

" Maybe he did not do that for me. Maybe he did it to please someone he cares about?" Alina offered, implying something that sent butterflies through my stomach. I did care for Cali. She was one of my best friends. How could I not?

"It doesn't matter. You two are engaged," Cali responded in a defeated tone. What did not matter? Why was she so defeated? I do not understand.

Alina hesitated. It was as if she was thinking over her next words and chose them carefully. "I am not so sure that my engagement will last."

"Great. So when is the wedding date? That's generally how engagements end," Cali responded dryly.

"I don't think you understand," Alina responded slowly.

"You can explain it to me tomorrow. Goodnight, Princess," Cali used a tone I could not place. She was frustrated but also hopeful. I stood in the hall a few more moments to try and unravel all that I heard.

The whispering stopped, so I finished my upstairs round and retreated to my chair. My earlier thoughts flooded back in a different light.

Alina sounded like she wanted to break our engagement. Relief swept over me. I was not alone in that desire.

But what about Cali's role in that conversation? Alina seemed to imply that my affection for Cali was greater than that for herself. Why would she do that? I cared about them both.

Cali seemed defensive after that. She shut down the conversation rather abruptly. Could Cali have affection for me? She was so powerful, exuding independence. Why would she care for me in such a way?

I dismissed the thought, but something in me hesitated. Just then I heard a stair step creek. I turned my head to see Carrion coming down the stairs.

"You're relieved, soldier," Carrion uncharacteristically joked. I suppose very little sleep makes everyone a little slap happy. I nodded and headed toward bed. I would need to unravel these thoughts in the morning