Talking of war

Isabelle sat down opposite Cassian in the bright aviary. The birds chirped and sung and ate their seeds while Isabelle gazed at them and Cassian watched Isabelle with a smile.

A maid quickly brought over a tray with a large teapot and tea cups. Both of them thanked her profusely before Cassian keenly poured the tea.

"I have forgotten how pleasant this place is." Cassian admitted. "I haven't had a chance to enjoy this side of the castle for a while, having spent most of my days in the study, throne room, or in one of the meeting halls. Only occasionally escaping to the dining room or garden."

"The castle is truly a stunning place." Isabelle took the cup with the tea that Cassian passed to her and slowly sipped on it.

"You are free to re-decorate any part of the castle according to your tastes." Cassian decided. The maid came back in with a tray of cookies and fruit, placing them carefully beside their tea.

"I think that the castle is stunning as it is." Isabelle admitted before her eyes landed on a bowl of wild strawberries. She went silent, recalling that Cassian previously brought them in when Annette enquired about them:

Cassian picked the bowl of fruit and offered the wild strawberries to Isabelle.

"I believe that you like them. I've made sure that they are bought at least once a week to the castle throughout the season."

"Oh." Isabelle was speechless. "Thank you." She carefully picked a fruit and ate it, feeling the sorrows of the memories it brought again but also a tinge of happiness that the fruit was for her.

"If you have other foods from your home that you enjoy, feel free to request them with myself, Samuel or from the chief cook."

"Thank you." Isabelle wiped a tear from her eye.

"Have you found a sufficient challenge to your sparring skills in Ariadne?" Cassian asked curiously.

"I have ever only sparred with Sir Asselin. Sir Asselin did offer a fair challenge but it was hard to not exploit his weaknesses too early."

"It's his heavy feet, isn't it?" Cassian chuckled.

"Yes." Isabelle nodded.

"There is a benefit to heavy feet. He was stable in battle when he fought on difficult terrain. He became heavy footed after fighting in mud. Not a good habit to pick up but nevertheless, he did what he had to to survive." 

Isabelle paused and looked at Cassian. He rarely spoke of the battle and war. Isabelle remembered that Cassian wrote letters to someone throughout the war, Annette perhaps, and now he let her go. He fought for someone just to let them go. Isabelle didn't understand him. She felt for him but didn't understand him. Cassian noticed Isabelle had gone silent.

"Many apologies for the grim topic. I shall not speak of it again." Cassian misinterpreted her reaction completely.

"No!" Isabelle protested.

"Excuse me?" Cassian was confused.

"I-…" Isabelle stuttered nervously. "I do not know much of war. I have been lucky to never truly see it with my own eyes. Not directly. I saw the battle move close enough to be seen on the horizon from the castle. It's naive of me to cast judgment onto someone who fought to survive." Isabelle looked down in embarrassment. "I have only heard the stories. If you wish to speak of it, please do. The least I can do is learn from you. I can listen."

"What did you hear? What stories?" Cassian shifted in his chair. Something changed in his body language. It was a sore topic.

"I-…" Isabelle stuttered nervously. "I've heard of the horrors."

"What horrors?" Cassian's jaw tensed.

"I am sorry. I have spoken abruptly. As I've said, I am naive."

"What stories?" Cassian repeated. He knew the answer but he still wanted to hear it.

"I-… I have heard of battlefields filled with rotten corpses. Of the shrieks from the dying so soul-shattering that soldiers went mad. I have heard of demons. Of darkness that laid down upon the dead once the battle was over. I've heard about you." Isabelle spoke quickly and quietly knowing that her words carried a lot of weight. "The hero that brought the end to the war."

"Are you certain that they've called me a hero?" Cassian asked coldly. He tensed up. This topic was definitely not the one he was used to discussing. Not even with people who were there with him.

"They did not." Isabelle admitted.

"I know what they call me, Isabelle." Cassian admitted. Isabelle looked back up at him. "A monster. A plague. A demon. Definitely not a hero." Cassian's shadow seemed to grow again and his eyes clouded.

"You are a hero." Isabelle said sternly. "Whatever you did, you ended the war. You brought back so many of your men. Whatever you did, whatever you sacrificed, you ended the war of the century."

The shadow seemed to withdraw as Cassian locked his eyes with Isabelle's.

"And who said that?"

"I did." Isabelle said confidently. She did not lie. She truly believed her words. She didn't believe the stories of Cassian turning into a demon. She believed that he was the hero that freed Galbore and saved her. 

Cassian was silent as he studied Isabelle's face. She was stern in her words.

"Thank you." Cassian mumbled silently. Isabelle's words were kinder than anything he has ever heard before.

"No, I should thank you." Isabelle said honestly. "You fought on the side of Galbore. You saved my people, Galborians. I am sorry you weren't rewarded accordingly."

"I didn't do it to seek reward." Cassian furrowed his brows again. "But I am more than grateful for the reward given to me."

"Then your deed is even greater." Isabelle hesitated. "When you and your army entered the war the castle was surrounded. Galbore was going to lose. You saved us. You saved me."

Isabelle watched Cassian's body language change as his anxiety worsened. 

Any mention of war affected him at his core, shattering his soul and breaking his heart. The moment of calmness was rapidly replaced by an overwhelm. 

Cassian turned pale at the flashbacks that intruded his mind, hearing phantom screams and not seeing what's before him but instead having a very vivid experience which made him relive the horrors that he once lived through.

His gaze was distant, his hands were clenched, his eyes watered and lips quivered. 

Isabelle noticed the shadow, again. But perhaps, it wasn't a shadow. It wasn't real. It was almost as if she could see an extension of Cassian.