Casualties of War

"Desmond! No-no-no-no-no~~o!" my mom screamed.

I remembered the gut-wrenching wailing that followed as well as the river of tears that poured down her doe brown eyes. I remembered watching mom scream her heart out, and after all the emotion spilled out of her, I watched mom go still. Then she was as silent as a grave and it would be months before Luca and I would hear her voice again.

Eleven-year-old Luca was no better. After the police told us about dad's accident, he'd yelled and yelled dad's name until he was hoarse. Then he ran into dad's study and curled up on his high-back chair until I came in and dragged him out of there an hour later.

My own tears were streaming down my cheeks while I whispered into Luca's ear that we needed to be strong for mom. We were the men of the family now. We had to be brave like dad was. It was honestly a bunch of bull I didn't believe when I said them. Deep down, my heart was breaking just as theirs was and it was only because I was the eldest son that I knew I had to act the part just like dad taught me.

The night that dad died, my family was so devastated I didn't think we ever really got over it. Like a wound that wouldn't heal right. Just scabbed over.

Why did I suddenly mention this? Because it was way too similar to what was happening now.

I never expected to be placed in a position where I had to inform a young boy that his dad was gone. I never dreamed I would have to tell a wife that her husband was dead. I never thought I would be the one to destroy a family's happiness like mine did.

"You have a message from Jimmy?" Mrs. Jonas asked, her face perking up suddenly. "Honestly, is it to tell me he wasn't coming home tonight because I already knew that."

She laughed. Her son giggled along with her.

I think I was going to be sick. I was certain I wanted to barf. I couldn't do this. I couldn't turn their smiles upside down.

Mrs. Jonas must have noticed my inner distress somehow as she gave me a look of concern. "Are you alright, Mr..?"

"It's Dean Dapper, ma'am," I blurted.

"Um, Dean, was it?" Mrs. Jonas' eyes spent a few moments looking me over. Then her gaze traveled to the rest of my friends. "You're all awfully young to be part of, um, that place… right?"

Her eyes glanced down to her son as she said this. Seemingly satisfied that he was still holding onto her arm and wasn't off to go fight fairies, her attention returned to me. "Well, what did Jimmy want you to pass on?"

I felt a hand on my back gently nudge me forward. This might have been Aura's way of telling me to just do it.

My voice cracked as I spoke. It was as if the guilt of what I'd done scraped against my throat like sharp blades itching to be set free.

The truth, the whole truth, I couldn't give them. Not just because telling them I killed him would have been insane, but it was also because no ordinary Mudgardian could know about the dealings of the visere and fay. That was fairy law. All I could do was give them the knowledge that Jimmy Jonas had passed on, and that he had died fighting for what he believed in.

"H-he was inspiring…" I said in a tone that was almost a whisper. "Everyone who saw him thought so."

I glanced over at Aura's hooded face and watched her nod in agreement.

"He showed his quality to all who witnessed his last moments," Aura added.

Not that any praise we gave him was a comfort to his family. I wasn't even sure they were still listening after I told them that he died.

I watched Mrs. Jonas deflate from a cheery housewife into a weeping widow—and it was like having to live with the nightmare of three years ago all over again.

The tears streamed down her face and dropped onto the asphalt like the first sign of rainfall. Then her shoulders sagged like I had placed a weight over them. Then the shaking started. Followed by the quick and anxious breaths. Mercifully, she was silent in her agony which was the only difference between her and mom.

"Y-you're telling me the truth…" Her voice was a whisper even tinier than mine. "I can feel it… Jonas is dead…"

She believed me. I wasn't sure why. Maybe I had conveyed enough emotion and sorrow to convince her of the truth. Somehow, that made things a little easier. Just a little.

But Mrs' Jonas' reaction to the news was the total opposite of her son's, who unlike her, couldn't believe the words that spilled out of my mouth.

He called me a big fat liar, a poser, a faker, a fraud, and promised that his dad was going to beat the shit out of me once he told him what I'd said.

The boy yanked at his mother's hand and told her not to believe in my lies. His dad was special, he said. His dad was strong.

He was right on both counts. Strangely enough, I'd just proved stronger. Although I wasn't about to boast this to the boy who was now giving me the middle finger. Geez, kids these days.

"Where is he…?" Mrs. Jonas asked. "I need to… I need to bury him…"

That would be a problem as I wasn't a member of the Magesong clan and didn't know if they returned fallen viseres to their loved ones on Mudgard. I didn't even know if the Trickster Pavilion did that too. I prayed inwardly that they did.

I could only give her an excuse that his body was lost in the battlefield, and that no one could retrieve it right now.

Finally, the dam broke. Mrs. Jonas wailed, and the sound of it made my heart shudder. She fell to her knees and broke down.

Her son screamed for us to get the hell out. He shoved at me. Then at Ty who must have been three times his height. The boy was fearless, just like his dad was. I hoped I would never have to see him in the Fayne.

Aura grabbed my right hand. Arah grabbed the other hand. Together, they pulled me away from the heartbreaking scene of the weeping mother wrapped around her son's arms while he glared at us. Honestly, if looks could kill.

Hours later, I sat on the chair beside my mother's bed while watching her sleep fitfully.

Ty and Arah were sitting on the couch next to the room's only window silently eating the chocolate cakes we'd bought from Edward's Chocolate Bar. We needed comfort food.

Aura was standing by the window deep in thought. Her hood was down and her golden hair glinted as the sunset touched her pretty face.

I inwardly scolded myself for my stupid teenage hormones. This wasn't the time to be thinking of things like that.

Mom stirred, but she didn't wake.

I placed a hand on her head and slowly caressed her red hair. This made her stop fidgeting for some reason.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around as much, mom," I whispered. "But I promise you… I'm not slacking off. I'm going to bring Luca home."

"Dean, it's time," Aura said.

"I know," I answered.

She didn't really need to remind me as I could already feel the pull of the Fayne calling to me. The sun had dipped low enough.

I laid back on the couch and looked to my friends. "Will you guys wait until we're gone before you leave…"

"Of course, we will," Arah answered quickly.

"Yeah," Ty replied. He looked nervously at the door. "Besides, I'd rather not go out there until the crazy Japanese guy is gone too…"

This comment earned him a smack on the shoulder from Arah.

"Yow!" Ty hissed. "What did you do that for?"

"You don't have to remind Dean about the psycho that wants to kill him… he's got enough on his plate," she hissed back.

"Guys," I interrupted before their banter got any louder and woke up my mom. "I am totally cool with being reminded about Azuma. Now, can we table this for when I get back?"

Both of them looked sheepishly back at me and apologized.

Next, I turned to Aura and said, "I don't want to have to face another family ever again."

She crossed her arms together. "I'm not sure that's doable. Unless you're saying you'll quit—"

"—No… I'm saying I understand the problem better now…" I said.

"Problem?" she asked.

"Fairies take advantage of humans, right?" I asked.

Aura nodded. "Sure. We can't help it."

"Exactly! because no one can tell you not to do it… No one has the authority to stop the different clans from exploiting humanity," I reasoned. "That's our answer—"

"—You'd need enough authority over all the clans to get them to listen," Arah guessed.

"Wait, doesn't that mean you must unite all of them under your banner?" Ty added. "But wasn't that the plan all along? To conquer the empty throne?"

I beamed at my two friends. They were very quick on the uptake.

"Yes," I nodded. "But now—"

"—Now you have a larger goal than just asking for your brother's freedom and helping my family," Aura surmised.

I wondered inwardly if I would ever get to finish a sentence again.

"We'll unite all the fairy clans under the Trickster Pavilion and get your brother to make the other fairies to stop exploiting humans," I pronounced.

"That's going to be difficult, Dean… Why would they give up the resource of human lives," Arah argued.

"They wouldn't have to give it up," I reasoned. "Not completely. "But a fairer trade an—"

"Equivalent trade," Aura finished in an excited tone. "It might be manageable. But only if we make the biggest contributions and show the rest of the Fayne the importance of a mutual partnership."

"You mean, like the one the two of you have?" Ty considered.

"We just have to do it like that." I leaned back on my chair and shut my eyes. "Hey, Aura, how are you getting—"

Believe it or not, no one interrupted me this time. I'd just zoned out just like that as if I was too fatigued to even finish a sentence which certainly wasn't the case. However, despite my claims, I landed feet first onto the Fayne—into a scene of total chaos.