September 9, 2023

Today the school decided that we wouldn't be going back to school on Monday, and wouldn't be going back until people stopped going missing.

The entire state is on lockdown, sounds familiar, right? Well, people have been going missing all over the state, and everyone is getting scared. No one has tracked anyone down, and Captain hasn't brought it up.

I had no idea what the FOF was going to do about this.

We were all stuck in the large house, and all had to live with each other. Again, life had almost gotten boring.

Almost.

Isabel had been completely separated from her family, and hadn't talked to them since she moved to the house, and had told me that she was getting scared. Her father was way too overprotective to not text her within 2 minutes of her texting him.

I felt bad. Isabel still didn't know much about America, and hadn't seen us at our best time. She hadn't even been to a amusement park yet, and I swore, that if we were in Kentucky, I'd take her straight to Kings Island, and we'd be riding every single ride in the park.

I know, I probably should get my priorities in order.

Isabel slowly trampled over to the bed in our room, and laid down, with a sad look on her face.

"Hey, Isa. What's up?" I said.

"Well, you know everything I've been doing." Isabel said.

"But I don't know everything that you're thinking." I said, holding my pointer finger up.

"Well, I've just been bored." Isabel said.

"No, no that's not it." I said with a smirk.

I looked outside, the rainy day had prevented us from going out to the pool or backyard. It didn't rain often in Arizona, and it basically was like a tornado compared to rain in Kentucky. But anyways, Isabel and I were in a somewhat dark room, so I couldn't see much of her face.

I sat down on the bed, and motioned for her to sit up next to me.

"Come on. What's really up?" I asked.

"That's the thing, I don't know." Isabel said.

"Well, I can help." I said with a smile.

Isabel looked at me with a large smile, that would make anyone's day, and it actually made mine.

"Well. I'm unsure. I don't know what to think of everything that's happening." Isabel said.

"Didn't you go through quarantine?" I said.

"Not really." Isabel said, "My family kind of ignored it..."

"Oh. Okay." I said.

"And even then. I was still with them. I don't know what I think about this whole 'being separated from them' thing." Isabel said.

"Well, you seem kind of sad." I said, "Call it a hunch."

"Well, I am sad. But that's not what I'm confused about. I feel like, I should be sad, but I'm not, and because I'm not sad it's making me feel bad which is making me sad." Isabel said.

"That's almost made no sense." I said, "But I think I'm following."

"I'm almost kind of happy to be on my own." Isabel said guiltily, "I like that I don't always have to listen to my father. And that makes me seem like a bad person because of it..."

"No, it doesn't. If he was too overprotective, then it makes sense that you'd want freedom. What about your mom?" I said.

"She divorced my father, and still lives in Mexico." Isabel said, looking downward, "She was very nice. I could imagine what it'd be like if she was here. I haven't talked to her in 3 years."

"Oh." I said.

"What about your family?" Isabel asked.

I didn't know what to say, and it only made my silence all the more awkward. I didn't know if I should lie to her. She, and a few others, had poured their hearts out to me, but hadn't even shared a piece of mine. (If that makes any sense.)

I hadn't been open at all, and I didn't know if I was comfortable to be.

I decided that I would ask, "Well, I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing my family life."

I knew that almost everyone here had a sadder story than me. I knew that that moment three years ago had been the only thing that had ever toppled my perfect life.

And I knew. I knew that I kept telling myself that I was happy, even though I wasn't. I wasn't satisfied. And I didn't know why. But then, one day, it occurred to me.

I wanted something to make my perfect life interesting.

I wanted something to screw it up so bad.

I was bored.

And you may think that I'm crazy, but in my mind, I'd rather things be bad than boring.

I knew that I wanted to pretty much forget and move on from everything in my life, maybe start in a place where I would have a better story. Maybe one where I didn't live in a world of perfect.

Not too much wealth. But not too little.

Not too many friends. But not too little.

I was smart, I was athletic, I was funny, and I was wise. Way too wise. I knew too much for my age, and the knowledge of everything came down on me like an avalanche.

Nothing for people to hold against me for being who I was.

I loved the perfect life.

And I hated it.

I didn't know what to say to Isabel.

I didn't know if her positive mind could handle all of my heart and mind that I was about to share.

Isabel was the happy and amazing girl that had helped me get through these rough times.

If only she had been with me 3 years ago. Little did I know that she was.

"I don't really want to share." I said, almost completely ignoring the feelings that occurred to me inside.

"Oh, okay. You can tell me anything, you know? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, though." Isabel said sweetly, as I attempted to avoid her gaze.

But then, I broke.

I spilled everything, and told her everything in one telling spurt, and it felt good.

I had had these feelings locked up inside me for years, and I had finally let it go.

I knew that I was still fortunate.

I breathed heavy, at the end of my long speech, and Isabel just looked at me in shock.

"Well?" I said meekly.

"Oh, Lauren..." Isabel said, wrapping her arms around me tightly.

I began to sniffle, then I cried.

I had finally let it out.