11
I wake up early. I need to talk to him. I need to apologize. I need to know I didn't ruin us.
I look out my window to see one of my guards. Of course! I carefully slide open the window. I can't climb down or I'll get caught so I climb up. I make it to the roof and look around. One guard at the front door, one at the back, one under my window and one wall unguarded. I make my way to the clear wall and climb down.
I run straight to the training grounds. I just want to talk to him.
"Alright! Same as yesterday! Start running!" I hear him yell as I get closer.
As I walk up I see him and Uncle Malak talking.
"Asher." I say and he growls. "talk to me please?!" I beg him.
"Beta." He addresses Malak with a clenched jaw. "You wanted to punch me? Do it now."
"Its no fun if you want me to." He responds.
"Knock me out before I do something I'll regret." Asher growls walking towards me. Regret... he would regret becoming mine.
"Stop now Gamma!" Malak orders. Asher tackles me. He looks so angry I feel myself start to cry. Quickly two wariors pull him off.
"I'm sorry Asher." Uncle Malak says. He punches Asher knocking him out. "You two take her home." The warriors grab my arms to escort me back.
"Wait!" I yell pulling away from them. I run over to my mate and kiss his forehead. "Take care of him... please Uncle Malak... make sure he's okay."
"I will, Meme." He promises with a sigh, giving me a hug. "Now go. It will only make things worse if you are around him. You need to stay away until the mark fades."
"Okay." I mumble and head home with a warrior on either side of me.
I sit in my room for what seems like forever when I hear fighting outside. I make my way downstairs and out the front door.
I see Asher beating one of my guards senseless.
"Asher!" I yell
"MATE!" He growls out. He gets off the guard and runs to me.
"Mate." He repeats nuzzling my neck. He's about to mark me but I don't want him to any more. Not when he doesn't want to. Not like this. He hates me!
"STOP!" Dad commands pulling him off of me. Asher continuesto fight him. "Doc!" He yells and they inject Asher with something. Soon he falls limp and guards take him away.
"Daddy." I cry and he comes over to hug me.
"This is why you don't force a mark. It will drive him crazy." He says and I begin to sob into his shoulder.
"He hates me! Daddy... I'm sorry. I didn't... I... I hurt him..." I say.
"Shhhh... please stop princess. I'm sorry for saying that. I know you didn't want this. He will be better soon. You'll get through this." He says holding me tight. "Go. Rest. No training until he's better. I'm sorry baby girl. I really am. I wish this could have been easy for you. It will all work out."
I nod and go back into the house.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°
A week! It's been a week and he hasn't come out of the infirmary. I haven't left my bed. It hurts. Everything hurts. I know its psychological. I know nothing is wrong with me but I hurt. I hurt because I hurt him. I hurt because he hates me.
"Sweety you need to get up. Go outside. Sitting here won't help." My mom says the same thing she's said for the past few days.
"I don't want to. I don't deserve to. I hurt my mate and he's stuck in a bed unconscious. Why should I be free to go anywhere?" I say covering my head with a pillow.
"No. Enough is enough. Addicus, Matthias." Mom says and in come my brothers.
"Come on Meme. You're going to the pack house and having lunch." Matty says.
"No." I respond.
"Not a question little sister." Addy says as he and Matthias drag me out of the house.
"Sit." Mathias commands once we are in the dining hall. Addicus sets a plate in front of me.
"Fine. I'm hear and eating. Leave me alone." I growl. They look at each other and sigh. With a nod they walk over to another table still watching me with concerned eyes.
"Emily." I hear a deep voice say behind me. I stop playing with my food and turn around.
"Asher!" I gasp jumping up. I go to hug him before realizing he probably doesn't want me to and backing up. "I'm so sorry. My stupid wolf thought it would help. Obviously she was wrong. Please don't hate me." I beg him.
"I could never hate you Meme... let's talk somewhere more... private." He says gesturing towards the door. I nod, grab his hand, and drag him out the door and into the garden. I go straight to the middle of the hedge maze knowingwe won't be disturbed.
He doesn't hate me that's what matters.
"No one comes in here... what do you want to talk about?" I say sitting on the fountain that marks the middle of the maze.
"I'm going to explain everything to you. In the end I'll do what ever you want but you need to consider what I say before you decide." He says.
"Ok... tell me." I don't know what he's going on about I'm just happy he's talking to me.
"I've been pushing you away to protect you. I don't want you to get hurt when I die in this war." He says. I can't believe he still thinks that! No way he dies!
"If Asher! If you die! And you won't! You are a strong wolf you will come home alive!" I argue.
"I won't... I don't want to. I'm a killer Emily. I'm not a good man. The things I've done. The pain I've caused. I can't live with it! I don't deserve to live... to be happy! I will train the warriors. I will fight. Once my brothers are incarcerated or dead I plan to allow myself to be killed by the hunters. I will die before this war ends because I have chosen to die. If you want me you have me. I won't fight it any more... But you will only have me until the war is done." He tells me. Suicide. He wants to die. That's why he has been so distant.
"I would take a day with you as my mate over months with you avoiding me. I'll take what time I can get... and who knows? Maybe you will decide you want to live." I say hopefully. He can still change his mind.
"Emily... I won't. Becoming Gamma didn't sway me and neither will becoming your mate. I love you Meme but I can't do it. I'll give you my all but in the end... you will lose me. Is that what you really want? To know you will lose your mate? You could just reject me and find someone who can live for you. You can do better than me." He doesn't want me to accept him. I feel my wolf whine. Poor mate.
"Shut up Asher! I will NEVER reject you... if I only get a few months with my mate so be it but you ARE my mate and I won't give you up!" I yell pushing him into the hedge wall so he knows I'm serious. He quickly spins me around so I am pinned against the wall
"So be it little mate." He says initiating a kiss. "Set the date Emily... whenever you choose I will become yours."
"One week... we do the ceremony in one week." I say gasping for breath. He kissed me! He wants to be my mate!
"As you wish." He says kissing me again.
"Mate." My wolf growls in my head as he fiercely kisses me.
"Mate." I agree.