Mental Depletion Is Scary

When I practice with mana after a little time my head starts to hurt. But the worst thing is after I woke up I thought I was the worst. I regretted everything I've ever done. Manipulating mana puts a heavy burden on my mind. I guess it also kind of gives depression. It was bad. I'm going to name it mental depletion.

"Oscar, are you okay? You have a fever."

"I caught a cold, I guess. I will be fine if I rest a little."

"Fine, you can rest home today. But if anything happens you will call me okay? And if you don't get better till night we are going to a hospital."

"Yes, mom. Don't worry I will get better."

"I going to work, I will call you later."

"See you, mom."

It's a good thing that mom let me rest for today. If I was to go to school right now, things can go bad. I don't know all of the effects of mental depletion. Depression side effect is gone after an hour. But I don't feel any mana in my body anymore. It affects my senses, it's understandable.

By the way, after waking up I couldn't see the mana streams in the air. Then my eyes work with mana too. Anyway, after two hours of waking up my body was recovered. Still, I feel a little empty in my mind. So mana affects the mind most?

I take the mana crystal to my hand. It is indeed transparent and not glowing. I closed my eyes and focused on the crystal. Mana inside of it slowly crawled to my body. This time I feel it. Mana is entering my body. It feels refreshing. So my senses are returning to me.

After a few minutes of focusing on mana, I dropped to crystal on the blankets of my bed. There is a limit to how much I can absorb. If I absorb too much, I feel like drowning. I don't really know why I absorbed it. It was more like a reflex.

Today, I'm going to the cave under the church. I want to learn more about mana and magic. Kairi is an Undine. A legendary water spirit. I bet she knows some cool spells. Maybe she knows different elements too.

Well, right now it's 10 pm. Mom would call me roughly two hours later at best. It will take half an hour to get to the church. So, a whole hour to get me some sweet mana batteries. I will use those crystals until my Aether organ is completed. This time I prepared a backpack. Now I need a large number of mana batteries. Mental depletion is scary. It is blurry but I remember the feeling of severe depression. I don't want to feel it again.

Before I left home I checked the clothes I wore last night. There is no blood. Mana healed before blood could spill. But the wound back of my head did bleed. But in the end, it didn't bleed much. After I get enough mana batteries I should research the healing aspect of mana. Kairi would definitely know something about it too.

Fortunately, on the road to the church, I didn't encounter anyone. The city we live in, Daxhoull, is a moderate size city. Not big but not small either. The neighborhood I live in is somewhat crowded. Most of the people here know each other. So, it will be hard to explain why I'm not in school but on the road that only goes to the forest.

With the help of sunlight, I can perfectly see the state church. It is horrible. It is miracle that it is still standing but maybe mana is responsible for that. Also, there is a lot of thrash here. If I will use this place in the future it might be a good idea to clean this place.

After being sure that no one is inside I get into the church. It is the same as we left. When we leave last night we didn't close the altar completely. I will close it from now on.

I get down the same route as before and in just about 10 minutes I arrived at the mana spot. While coming down here I inspect everything I saw and found something interesting. Mana stone. It was simply a stone that radiates mana. I don't have any way to use it right now but in the future, it might come to be useful.

Mana spot is, still glowing with blue energy. When I saw it again I realized how real all of this was. Being able to do magic is awesome.

"You look better now."

Kairi came out of the lake. The water of the lake doesn't act like water at all. Even though she just come out of it she is still dry. It acts more like liquid mana.

"Yeah. Last night my clothes were dirty because of my fall. This time I came with my clean clothes. By the way, where is Akane?"

"She said that she is going to patrol the surroundings."

"I see. Can you teach me about basic spells?"

"Unfortunately not now. Even with the lake's help, I'm struggling to keep my mana reserves let alone recover them. I need to keep my reserves high so in case of an emergency I would be able to act."

"Yeah, that makes sense. Then can you give me the magic circles of some basic and least dangerous spells? They would help me to practice my control."

"That can work. But remember, don't use your mana. Your Aether organ isn't complete yet. It's close, surprisingly it's creation fast but as I said not complete yet."

This is good news. When it's completed I can research into the Aether. Maybe I can focus mana on my eyes and see the creation of it. I took out the previous mana crystal I used. I sat down and start to absorb its mana and focus that mana on my eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"I have a theory. I noticed that with mana in my eyes my vision is changing and allowing me to see Mana and Aether. I think of using my eyes and a mirror to observe the Aether organ."

"Hmm... but why?"

"It might give me an idea about Aether. Perhaps after some research, I can manipulate Aether too."

"Isn't that... a little greedy? You just gained the power of mana. And you are trying to get the power of Aether."

Hmm... I never thought about it that way. Am I greedy? Why do I want this power?

*

"Why are you crying, Oscar?"

"I couldn't stop Alex and his gang. They bullied Jason."

Nora looked me in the eye. Her childish face wasn't smiling this time. There was a frown on her face. We are still children but somehow I feel like she is far more mature than me.

"Then all you have to get stronger and protect him."

"Can I really protect him if I'm stronger?"

"Mhm! You can defeat all those bullies if you are strong enough!"

If I'm strong enough I can defeat those bullies and protect Jason... I want to protect Jason and Nora. If I'm stronger can I protect her? Can we be happy all the time?

*

Remembering those old times gives me mixed feelings. I did get stronger but I couldn't protect her. But if it's with mana and Aether... maybe I can bring her back. Right?"

"There's something I want to do. I thought it was impossible but after last night... I have a slight hope."

"What is it? Maybe I can help."

I opened my eyes and looked deep into hers. Should I say it? That I couldn't protect one of my best friends. One of the most important people to me. If I say that to her would she judge me?

"...I will tell you later. Sorry but... I don't feel comfortable talking about it."

"I see. Don't worry, when you want to talk about it, I'll be there."

"Thank you"

I gained a new friend, Nora. I feel that I can trust her. Maybe with her help, I will be able to bring you back. I wasn't able to protect you or save you. But I promise you, I will get stronger and stronger. I won't let anyone else dear to me be hurt.