Chapter 6

                   Kaka's pov

It's Wednesday evening and I'm having a sleepover at Grace's house. Mr. Ubong wasn't keen on the idea of me staying out on a school night but I ignored him and packed anyway. It's not like he can do anything about it.

By now, it's obvious that the relationship between my father and I is highly strained. We haven't seen eye to eye ever since my mother died three years ago. It wasn't that bad at the beginning but after various incidents my eyes became clear and I saw him for what he truly is.

"Kaka, so what's your deal with that fine new boy at our school, Henry?" Grace asks me while stuffing her face with chips on her bed while I sit on the couch at the side of her room playing candy crush on my phone.

"There's nothing going on between Henry and I." I reply honestly.

"Don't lie to me. You guys are always together and you went out on that ice cream date with him last weekend." she says in excitement.

"Correction, my brother and I went out for ice cream and we happened to meet him there, so we all sat down together." I clarify.

"I ship you guys together, Henka or is it Kanry?" she says with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Instead of talking about my non- existent love life, what's going on between you and Samson?" I ask her even though I want to know nothing about it. I force a smile on my face, I'm being a good friend by doing this. I'm a good person. This is what good people do.

" Well it's been going great. He's even met my parents!" she exclaims happily and I put on a wide smile.

" OMG! I'm so happy for you. So should I start making preparations for your bridal shower?" I say teasing her and she smiles coyly.

"Kaka stop! You're making me blush." she says with a wide smile on her face.

I should be happy for her. No! I am happy for her. She deserves happiness because she's a good person. If I'm half as good a person as she is maybe I can find my own happiness.

_________

It's Friday morning and since I hate my class, I decided to hang out with Grace in her class, SS2C. She's applying red lipstick to her lips and using her phone as a mirror.

"I thought you applied the lipstick like  five minutes ago." I tell Grace and she scoffs.

"Five minutes is a long time." she says and I roll my eyes.

"I don't thi—" she cuts my sentence midway with a loud squeal. I stare at her in confusion before I realize that Sammy boy is now in our midst.

He pulls her in for a kiss and I immediately cover my virgin eyes with one of my hands. I stand like that for a while before Grace gives me clearance.

"Prude." she says to me and I scowl. I see Samson looking at me with annoyance and Grace smiling to herself. I also see Henry standing chewing gum shamelessly. I bet he just finished smoking.

"I would appreciate it if you guys keep it PG whenever I'm around." I tell Grace and Samson and the latter scoffs while the former stands still smiling.

"Good morning." Henry says to me and I press my lips together in frustration.

"I don't believe in greeting," I deadpan and Henry furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"I don't believe in it so don't greet me and don't expect me to greet you." I say passively. Henry looks taken aback by my behavior.

"I won't do it again." he simply says and I force a smile on my face. I think he notices my pretense but he chooses not to say anything about it.

Good.

"Can we go for assembly now?" Grace says trying to ease out the tension.

.

Things go smoothly after the assembly because everyone is fixated on Sophia's seventeen year old birthday bash. I'm not even slightly interested.  I'm also not invited. Sophia and I are obviously not the best of friends. She hates me for reasons I'm not even aware of. The current situation of her boyfriend breaking up with her because of me did nothing but increase the hostility between us from her part.

We're on lunch break now eating in the cafeteria. All my friends are present today in our favorite table spot. Then there's also the new edition, Aisha Mohammed. And it turns out that this bitch has a agenda against me. The usual.

"It's not actually healthy to eat all of that." Aisha says referring to my tray of food.

I have a serious problem with my eating schedule. It's either I eat too much or I don't eat at all. I could eat a mountain for breakfast one day and not eat anything at all throughout that day and the next. Sometimes I drown my sorrows in food and sometimes my sorrows drown me in medications.

On my food tray sits a complete hamburger with side fries. Also a medium sized chocolate drink and a medium sized milkshake with five vanilla flavored candies.

"I know." I simply reply to Aisha and her lips twitch into a frown before she masks it off with a smile. She's a terrible actor. She can't even perfect a smile. She should come to me for lessons. I start stuffing my food with food much to the disgust of everyone on the table.

"You eat like a pig, who would ever want you as a girlfriend? You dis piggly wiggly."  James teases me and I scowl.

"Whatever." I reply with my mouth full and the whole table is surrounded by 'ews' and 'yucks'.

I blow a raspberry at James' face and he shoves me.

"Ewww! Kaka stop it!" he says wiping his face causing the other members of the table to laugh.

"So is anyone here attending Sophia's party?" Samson asks and it takes all my will power not to say anything offensive.

"Kaka is not friends with Sophia so she obviously won't attend the party meaning I won't attend also." Raymond speaks up and I give him a quizzical look.

"Did they born us with the same placenta that if I don't go somewhere you won't go there either. Don't be stupid, attend the party, I don't care." I say masking any emotion I have against the idea.

"I was having doubts before but now I'm sure. I'm definitely not attending the party now. Whenever you say 'I don't care' it means you totally fucking care." Chidi says dramatically and I roll my eyes.

He's right though. I do care, why would my friends attend the party of someone who hates my existence? They better not attend it. They should have loyalty to me and not anyone else.

"I was not invited so I'm not going. I'm sure you all were invited so you guys can go." I say swallowing the bitter bile in my throat.

"No offense but why would you be invited to her party when you stole her boyfriend from her?" Samson says nonchalantly and I see red.

"Excuse me?" I say with venom dripping from those two simple words.

"You were a bitch to her, of course she wouldn't invite you to her party." he continues and the air around the table stiffens.

"Guy..." Henry says trying to warn him to keep quiet but I don't think he gets the message.

"What? I'm just stating the obvious." he says justifying his earlier statement causing me to grind my teeth in anger.

"I've been keeping quiet since because my friend happens to see something in you that is not there. But keep on saying nonsense and I swear to Satan you will meet an early grave." I say in a deathly tone that makes everyone hold their breath.

I can feel the fear radiating from each and everyone of them and I love it. I love this feeling of control I'm having over them.

No Kaka . This is not you. Smile and apologize.

I take a deep breath and exhale putting on a smile on my face while bursting into fake giggles.

"God! You guys are wimps! Look at all your face as if shit is catching you guys." I say in between fake laughs and some people on the table laugh along with me, while some give me death glares.

It's fine. Everything is fine. They don't hate you. They think it was a joke. It's fine.

"Hi guys!" a familiar loud voice says and I grind my teeth together.

Some people at the table greet Sophia and some don't, I'm obviously part of the latter. Since I've finished all the food and drinks on my tray, I'm eating the last two candies remaining using it as an excuse to ignore the being behind me.

"I came to personally invite Kaka to my birthday party," Sophia says with a sly smile on her face. I turn my attention to her and let out a 'huh' in confusion.

"Really. I mean with you at my party it's a sure guarantee that all the boys in our set are going to attend." she says with fake innocence and I give her a fake interested look as if to say 'go on with the nonsense that you are saying'.

"You know that you're a prostitute so I can put you up as a main attraction. Two thousand naira for one round. It sounds fair, right?" she says still smiling.

A normal person would have had their friends stand up for them but mine won't. Probably because they agree with what this girl is saying. I do the first thing my mind comes up with. I put on the face of a bitch and stand up from the bench moving close to Sophia so we can have a nice conversation face to face.

"I would've come for the party but I'm fully booked for that night. I'm being offered good cash. Moreover, your party sounds like a bore. I wouldn't waste my time attending in the first place." I say smiling.

"Awwww, you've finally accepted that you're a big fat slut!" she says loudly  causing everyone in the cafeteria to turn their attention towards our conversation.

"Of course I'm a slut! I mean if I wasn't, would I have been able to steal your so called boyfriend, Nnamdi?" I say viciously and her smile falters. She breaks whenever his name is called.

"You should have seen him when he came to me. He was like 'Kaka I love you', 'Kaka please be mine', 'Kaka, kaka, kaka'. But too bad I don't do sappy leftovers." I say laughing out loud and I hear people hyping me.

"E Don end for Sophia."

"That one right there was a violation, man."

"Oshe vawulence!"

"Kaka, it's okay oh." Grace says and I cork my head to one side.

"Is it?" I say smiling.

"You are such a sleaze." Sophia says and my smile widens.

"Thank you for the compliment." I tell her.

"You are such a terrible human being." Sophia tells me.

"Wouldn't be the first time I heard that." I say. She's about to say something when I grip one of her forearms tightly digging my nails into them. It'll probably leave scars but I don't give two fucks. I pull her closer to my face even though she's taller than me, in this moment she looks bat shit scared of me.

"Whatever you want to say to me won't affect shit in my life. So you can keep on coming to me and embarrassing yourself or you can carry the  small atom of self respect you have left and get the fuck out of my sight!" I whisper harshly to only her hearing before releasing her roughly as she stumbles. Although she huffs angrily I can see how glassy her eyes are, she's probably about to cry. She looks at me with fear and anger in her eyes before taking to her heels.

"Oh and Sophia. Happy birthday in advance." I say with a wide smile on my face and she glares at me which causes me to chuckle. I turn back to my table to see everyone staring at me with fear and disgust.

"Well, I'm done here. I'll be in class if you guys need anything." I say smiling as though the last few minutes didn't just happen before rushing off to class.

Regret

I'm filled with cold hard regret. Why don't I think before I do things? I grab the bottle of water from my school bag and douce it down in one gulp.

I'm a terrible person. I wasn't supposed to react like that. I'm supposed to control my emotions. I'm supposed to be calm and collected so why did I behave like that?

Because you're a terrible person.

I'm not. I'm trying not to be.

I'm normally so well prepared when it comes to calm responses, so why did I act like that? I'm so well trained when it comes to masking my emotions so why did I slip up?

I should just stay alone forever in this classroom. I probably deserve to be alone. I'm more convinced that I'm a bad person now. A good person wouldn't have done what I just did. I should stop deceiving myself, I'll never be a good person. I've gone too far into the deep end.

"A sight for sore eyes." an awfully familiar male voice says.

"A sight you shouldn't be seeing. Get out!" I harshly retort but he chuckles in response.

"You are so hard to read." Henry says removing a cigar from his pocket and putting it into his mouth, he removes a lighter from his other pocket and lights the end of the cigar. Placing the lighter back in his pocket he inhales the cigar and exhales a cloud of smoke.

"I don't understand you at all. What was all that crap you pulled in the cafeteria  for?" he asks and I'm taken aback. He's not supposed to know.

"Go away and stop smoking when you're next to me. It's bad for my health and yours also." I say and he chuckles letting out another cloud of smoke.

"You still haven't answered my question." he says as he sits on my desk tracing my front hair to my teddy. It's a very intimate thing to do and it catches me off guard.

He's touching me.

"Go away." I say with a shaky breath.

"I'm like a pimple. Very annoying and difficult to get rid off. When you finally pop me out I'll come back more  annoying and in different places." he says laughing and I reluctantly let out a snort.

"Did you just compare yourself to a pimple?" I ask him giggling.

"I know it's not everyday you see a handsome guy like myself compare himself with a disgusting pimple but at least it made you laugh." he say blowing out another cloud of smoke as I realize what he just did and I give him a genuine smile.

" It doesn't matter what I do. They already have a fixed opinion about me and nothing can change that so what's the harm in giving  them more reasons not to like me." I tell Henry and he smiles.

"You have a very fucked up way of thinking." he says and I roll my eyes.

"I did a bad thing today, you're not supposed to be cheering me up. You're supposed to condemn me." I say quietly and he scoffs.

"You stood up for yourself. You have no reason to pout. If I was the one, that Sophia person would be on a one way ticket to the hospital." he says in an amused tone.

"You're impossible." I tell him.

"Impossible to resist." he says huskily and I chuckle.

"Whatever." I tell him and the bell rings signaling the end of recess as students start filing into class.

"Adios bambina." Henry tells me as he leaves the class and I find myself smiling.