20 The Elephant in the room

I sat down on the bed in my bedroom biting my fingernails in a panic. The miscarriage inducing poison vials I'd dreamt of had appeared before me. I was trying to understand how that was possible.

I had never seen them before, even in Ayans' memories, yet the exact same vials were here. I never saw in the dream how Ayan got the vials she already had them in the drawer but it would make sense that she received them from her mother.

So was that really just a dream? But the events in it took place in the future. It wasn't possible. Not to mention Ayan was killed. But it was too much of a coincidence to disregard now. I'd had the same dream twice and it felt so real each time like it was a memory.

It's like I'd seen into the future....This wasn't making any sense. I pondered on the question for a while. But that wasn't the only issue I had to deal with.

I also had to figure out what I was going to do with the vials. Ayan's mother had left them with me to sabotage any wife who had a child before Ayan.

Straight off the bat I wasn't going to listen to Ayan's mother. She threatened to disown me if I failed to do it and I was kicked out of the harem. The real Ayan was a noble, it would mean something to her if she was suddenly disowned and couldn't live the lifestyle she was used to. However, in my previous life I had been poor and alone. If General Kang kicked me out I wouldn't be afraid to have no where to go. I could figure something out. Or so I thought.

However, it didn't need to get to that. As long as I behaved and kept a low profile in the harem I should be fine. I definitely couldn't keep the vials nor did I plan to. If I was found out like Ayan had been in the dream I would without a doubt get killed. I had to throw them away but how?

I had to do it in a way that didn't raise any suspicions. There weren't any sinks to pour the liquid down the drain. No trash cans around. This wasn't the 21st century where everything was wrapped in plastic that constantly needed to be thrown away.

On top of that I hadn't realized there were eyes everywhere on the estate. In my house Yema and Kaylee were constantly moving around. I thought perhaps I could throw them away somewhere in the gardens but just when you thought you were alone someone would appear. Whether it be servants or guards they were always nearby. And that went for the rest of the estate people were constantly moving about.

I also couldn't move around with the vials in my dress waiting for a chance to throw them away. That was risky. So as I figured out the best way to get rid of them I would have to hide them in the meantime. In the dream Ayan kept them in a drawer in the bedroom. The drawers were only to be opened by Ayan and they were to hold her private things. I suppose that would be the best place to hide them for now. I hid them under layers of objects that belonged to Ayan; her family heirlooms, jewelery etc.

The General returned to the estate a week and a half later. He immediately called for the harem to have dinner with him and I was invited yet again. I suppose he was awarding me for my good behaviour?

Kaylee was her usual estatic self when she heard this and took great care in making look good for the dinner. When I entered the dining room, once again the other wives all gave me their usual glares. I sat next to Samira this time not wanting to argue with Rina. The General soon arrived and the wives' focus quickly switched to him. They began their game of who can grab his attention the most. I focused on my food waiting for this all to finally be over. Their consversation soon became background noise as I went into my own world. I think I could get used to these dinners eventually.

'Ayan!' "...Ayan!"I heard someone call out my name in the distance.

"Ayan!" No. that was real. I blinked and turned to see the General looking at me.

"Yes, my Lord." I quickly responded, surprised he'd called me.

"I'm asking you what your opinion is on the topic." He asked me.

I felt my face go red in embarassment. I wasn't listening to their conversation. I had no idea what they were talking about. I couldn't tell him that though. "I don't have anything to add your grace." I told him.

"Really?" He asked, he had that blank unreadable expression on his face. I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. "Or it that perhaps the conversation bores you?"

His response slapped me in the face. "No, not at all your grace, I just don't think I would have anything interesting to say to add to the conversation." I nervously explained myself.

"Is that right?" He responded in a flat tone as if he'd lost interest. He then turned his attention away from me and went on to continue the conversation with the other wives.

What surprised me more was the stares I received from the other wives after when the General was done talking to me. Glares filled with such animosity. I hadn't done anything. Why were they staring at me like that?

Why did he speak to me? Rina was always quiet, I mean she did try to get his attention but he completely ignored her. I thought he would act the same way to me if I was quiet as well. So why did he call me out?

After dinner I didn't immediately go back to my house. I needed some air, I needed time to think about what I was going to do. So I took a walk in the gardens. I had to get rid of the viles soon it was risky keeping them but I had to careful about how I went about it.

I reached the island gazebo which lay over the bridge where the stream flowed. I walked over the bridge and went into the island. No else was there which was a relief. Going towards the gazebo rails I leaned on them as I looked at the stream below. I then got lost in my thoughts which had become a usual habit of mine. I didn't know for how long I had been there but I was there for quite some time.

It was the sound of footsteps on that caught my attention bringing me out of my daze. I turned to see who was approaching. It was the General. Speak of the devil. We made eye contact as soon as he entered.

Well that was my cue to leave. I thought as I tured away from the rails. "Good evening, my Lord." I greeted him with a small bow. He nodded in acknowledgement. "I'll leave the gazebo to you." I told him.

Intending to leave the gazebo I walked past him but was stopped when he suddenly grabbed my arm. Surprised I turned to face him.

"My lord?" I asked confused as I studied the expression on his face, it was unreadable. I couldn't tell if he was angry or upset. He slowly let go of my arm.

"Why..." He started hesitantly with a pause. "Why does it feel like you're avoiding me?"

My eyes widened in surprise. He had noticed?

"You've also become quiet which I do appreciate since you've always been so noisy, but it's almost like you're too quiet now." He went on to say as he moved closer to me his golden eyes that seemed to glow in the dim light of the gazebo as he stared at me intensely. "I can't tell what you're thinking."

It was obvious that I was avoiding him, but I didn't think he would care. In fact, I thought thats what he wanted. He continued to stare at me expectantly, like he wanted an explanation. I didn't know what to say so I kept quiet.

"Don't tell me you're upset that I punished you?" He asked his expression changing to one of irritation. What? I thought to myself, is that what he thought? He stared at me as if waiting for an explanation. I didn't know what to tell him though.

"Ayan you know that what you did was wrong..."

And now this conversation was going south.

"....Don't try to throw a tantrum--"

"No!" I interrupted him before he got any angrier. "I'm not avoiding you because I'm upset." He went silent as he waited for me. "I'm avoiding you because I think I'll make you angry again." I blurted out truthfully.

He skeptically observed me for a moment. "Is that so?" He asked.

"During my confinement I had a lot time to think and reflect on my actions. It's only then that I realized I'd gone too far and was becoming something else." I might as well apologize on Ayans' behalf. "I was also scared you'd throw me out of the harem. So I thought perhaps if I became distant. I could avoid getting on your bad side." I added to make myself sound sympathetic.

His face calmed a bit when I finished speaking he observed me with that expression of his I could't quite read. That uncomfortable gaze of his that he had on me lately.

"My lord if you stare at me like that I won't know where to look."

"How can I not stare when you've changed so much?" He explained.

"You make it seem like I've switched bodies with someone." I joked so he would see how ridiculous it sounded.

He let out a small chuckle. "It feels that way considering everything you've been doing lately. I heard you cooked for yourself when Rina was sending you rotten food."

Oh my goodness, so he did know.... It

was odd for a noble lady to know how to do something like that. I had to come up with something quickly.

"Yes I did cook. It's embarrassing to say but I've always been interested in cooking. Back at my familys' home I always used to watch the chefs cook. I was always fascinated by it and I asked to teach me how to make a few things behind my parents back." I lied to him.

"So the reason you didn't complain about what Rina did is because you had an alternative." He stated.

"I thought perhaps if I focused on something else, developed a new hobby, perhaps I would change for the better."

"Mhm," the General scoffed. "You sound so mature and wise now." he said.

"No, not at all." I nervously laughed

"But I'm now curious to know what your food tastes like ."

"I don't think I'm not a very good cook, my Lord." I told him.

He gave me a look that made him seem disappointed and sad. My heart quickly sank.

"But of course if you are willing to try I would be more than happy to cook for you." I added.

"Fantastic." He said with a satisfied grin. Had he just coerced me into agreeing to cook for him? I thought to myself. "It'll be on one of the following nights. I'll be looking forward to it."

"As will I, your grace." I lied.

"Then you can go on now. Goodnight Ayan." He told allowing me to leave.

"Goodnight." I told him dumbfounded. As I walked away I thought to myself what had just happened?

I thought General Kang hated Ayan so much that he wouldn't want to spend time with her atleast for a while. I thought it was best to keep a low profile. So why were my actions only drawing him closer to me? I'm starting to realize I may have misunderstood the relationship between Ayan and General Kang.