The end, or the beginning?

Chapter - 01

Lost in her own thoughts and holding a bunch of random flowers in her hand, a girl dressed in black with a printed scarf around her neck made her way through the cemetery. She was barefoot, feeling the gentle touch of the soft grass beneath her foot.

With a smile on her face, the girl walked among the dead who lay there, resting in peace. The girl was clearly enjoying the serenity and calmness of the place.

On the other hand, when mothers saw the odd girl with a smiling face and leisurely enjoying a stroll in the cemetery, they pulled their young ones close to them in their bosoms.

While the girl looked up, admiring the clouds and the various shapes they made, she stopped all of a sudden in her tracks. As if counting her steps despite looking everywhere but her path, the girl knew her destination was here, and the smile on her face dulled a little.

"Here I am..." The girl said as she turned her face towards one of the headstones, "... again," in a tone ridiculing herself.

The girl crouched in front of the grave and placed the bunch of random flowers there, "It has been three years... Three long years... And every time something happens, I find myself standing in front of you. Unable to let you go."

The girl looked at the headstone, and as if she could see the person she was talking to, she complained, "It's not done, Habiba... It's not done."

The headstone on the grave read, 'In the loving memory of Habiba Haque.' The girl bent forward and, with her fingers, traced the carvings on the stone, 'Ours is love everlasting.'

"I feel like I am the only one holding onto you. Everyone else seems to have forgotten about you. But should I blame them? Or should I blame myself for falling in love with you so deep that I can't find myself again?" The girl said softly under her breath. Her voice was slightly shaky and remorseful.

"Sometimes I regret. Regret everything that was between us. I regret not pushing you away. If only... If I had pushed you away, could things have been different?"

"Sniff... Look at me, acting all clingy and creepy..." the girl let out a soft, hollow chuckle, "Look what I brought for you. A bunch of random flowers without any arrangement. You liked them this way, right? You never believed in what they meant and symbolised for. For you, it was all about just staring at their beauty..." The girl talked to the headstone as if talking to her lover.

"... And speaking of beauty, let me tell you an interesting story," the girl said and sat cross-legged in front of the grave, relaxed and comfortable.

"I went on a date yesterday. A blind date," the girl spoke. She then paused for a while and looked around, afraid of being heard by someone, "With a boy." The girl whispered.

"Can you believe it? Well, I am trying to swing the other way... you know, the straighter way... hehehe..." The girl laughed. From the looks of it, she was having the time of her life.

"Oh well, coming back to my date. That guy was a narcissist asshole. Bragged about himself the whole time. I swear if it was not my mother who set him up with me, I would have cracked his brain out with the wine bottle," the girl sounded pissed even from talking about that guy.

"Like seriously, I don't understand, but what is it with wine and men? They have to show off their skill in trying to identify where the fuck that shit is from and what goes into making that shit... Just enjoying the fucking wine, dude. Why would you care if it was made in the Bermuda triangle, with some new unearthed fruit using some jumbo-jumbo? Or was it mumbo-mumbo? Well, it was surely not mumbo-jumbo. Huphh... I don't even know anymore," the girl sighed.

"You know what? That idiot was bragging to me about his job. His job as a business analyst in some company that I haven't even heard of." The girl smirked.

"And he did not forget to mention that he owned a couple of Bingecoins. I mean, c'mon, what's your problem, bro? I have hundreds of those things. I can buy you from top to bottom with a snap of my fingers, bro." The girl laughed out loud as she shared the episode with that guy. Though she laughed, her eyes were soon wet with tears. Her laugh was not that of joy anymore but that of longing.

"But I seriously doubt that the problem was with him," The girl leaned back with the support of her arms and looked up, "I am pretty sure the problem is you."

"You are not here anymore. So, why can't you let me move on?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"And here I thought you forgot all about me. And for once, I could have had an early Christmas, you know." Wearing a white coat, a woman said as she let a girl into her office.

"How can I? It's like a yearly date for me on Christmas eve," the girl said as she took off her jacket and sat on the sofa in the office. The doctor, on the other hand, went back to her desk.

"Water?" The doctor asked.

"No, I am fine. It's so cold out there that you hardly even remember drinking water, much less actually drink it." The girl said, declining the offer.

"Still, you must keep your body hydrated," the doctor said as she handed over a glass to the girl.

"You are not that type of doctor. You are just a psychologist. So why do you nag me so much every time I am here?" Though the girl said it, she took the glass from the doctor and drank the water within.

"What's the use of being a psychologist?" The doctor said as she sat in front of the comfy sofa chair in front of the girl.

"It's the third Christmas eve we are spending together. Not to mention the numerous other occasions we spent time together. And yet, all we do is go on dinners, talk about your day, my day, and we are done," the doctor complained.

"... All this while you still haven't truly let me in and opened up to me. I feel like I am just a means for you to escape your loneliness." The doctor said, "But you know what? It's all part of the process. We will slowly get to it.," The doctor looked at the girl and said, "And I get paid for doing nothing. Not a bad deal if you ask me," the doctor winked.

"So... where are we off to today?" The doctor got up from her chair and asked. She took off her white doctor's coat and headed to the corner stand to get her jacket.

"Let's do it," the girl said from behind.

"Hmmm...? What is it? Let's do what, exactly?" the doctor stopped in her tracks and turned around to look at the girl with keen eyes, trying to understand her words by the subtle changes in her expressions.

"Let's talk about her."

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