Silence ensued between them for a moment, Spade's fingers started brushing Arren's soft blue hair, which made the latter calm down somewhat.
Arren's fingers had stopped trembling at this point, and the alpha had softly grasped it, Spade's thumb caressing the back of his hand. His eyes fluttered and it was still heavy, but he fought to keep himself awake. He was terrified of returning to his nightmare the moment he closed his eyes.
"I dreamed of the incident," Arren began, for some reason deciding to tell the alpha about what had been bothering him for the past few weeks.
Perhaps he was being hasty because he barely knew the alpha, even if he liked him. However, perhaps his condition allows him to open up more easily, and his emotions were still so jumbled that Arren was convinced he would go insane if he didn't share some of his thoughts soon. The nightmare he had terrified him too much.
It just so happened that Spade was there, and his reassuring presence made Arrem trust him enough.
The hand caressing Arren's hair stopped, but the one grasping his hand tightened to show comfort and assurance that he was listening. That was enough for Arren... to know that someone was there for him.
Arren simply stared at the empty space, tears glistening in the corners of his eyes as if recalling his nightmare. His mother... and that—unknowingly Arren's hand shook again, which was immediately grasped by Spade. His tears streamed down his cheeks, obscuring his vision once more, and he sobbed.
His chest constricted as if he couldn't breathe. He didn't want to remember... However, the nightmare was so vivid that he was almost perplexed as to whether or not it had actually occurred. A soothing voice comforted him in the midst of his tears. The deep voice sounded distressed.
Arren grasped the alpha's hand tight, despite the difficulty, and his head throbbed with each passing second as he lifted his gaze and tried to look at the alpha.
"Yo-You're real, right? This is real... r-right?" his voice shook, and he even stuttered. Arren was afraid to ask, but he had to; he needed to confirm.
The alpha nodded, and Arren was too exhausted to notice the alpha's expression.
"Yes, this is real. I'm real," Spade said softly, calming Arren. He slightly leaned forward and kissed Arren's forehead. "It was all a nightmare, it's not real. Hmm?" Spade continued his caressed and soothing kisses and voice while Arren cried until he gradually calmed down with only his tears in his cheeks. The alpha also wiped his tears for him, and his gentle movements helped Arren to feel more at ease.
The quiet room with the two of them was the only witness to what happened that night. After a few minutes, Spade remained silent and only consoled the crying Arren.
Arren decided to reveal some of his nightmares, the ones he was most terrified of, as soon as he stopped crying.
"What happened in the dream was different than what actually happened in reality, but... my reason left me, and I don't know what is illusion and reality anymore. In the dream, I... I didn't get out of the bar by myself, but..." Arren trailed off, his voice weak as he bit his lips on the heavy memories, despite knowing it was all a dream.
"You don't have to continue if it's difficult for you," Spade interrupted Arren's thoughts, his voice soft and reassuring for Arren.
He looked at Spade, the alpha's eyes were focused on Arren alone. His eyes were tinged with worry and even some turbulent thoughts that Arren was unaware of. But it didn't matter. Arren smiled, though small, which was already an indication of his emotions calming down as he shook his head.
"No, I need to continue otherwise..." Arren sighed and spoke again, "It feels so real, everything that I'm feeling in the dream was so real. I can feel the pain and fear, I'm so hopeless there, I screamed for help, and yet no one was answering me. Their… they disgusted me." New tears flowed down his cheeks, and his breath, which was beginning to settle, became chaotic again. "I'm so afraid... that I just wanted to die," Arren said, his voice cracking as he tried not to stammer between tears, gripping the alpha's hands tightly.
The alpha said nothing throughout it all, only looking calm and soothing Arren and wiping his tears while clasping Arren's hands as if he truly wanted Arren to let out his emotions and didn't interrupt him. And yet, if only Arren could see how dark Spade's expressions were, he would say otherwise.
Then again, Arren still continued after taking a deep breath. "Do you know why I needed to sneak out of the house?" Arren chuckled bitterly and mocked himself, "I can't sleep at night that much, the nightmares keep on coming every time I close my eyes. That's why I thought I needed to vent my anger at that bastard and see him being miserable. That was enough to overcome this shadow in my heart for a while. Mister Investigator, won't you tell me where that Ashton is?" Arren confessed his situation lately and made a request. A desperate request.
His eyes were pleading and hopeful. He knew what he wanted as a treatment was twisted, but Arren didn't want to talk to a psychologist because sometimes people have a better way to deal with their trauma than the orthodox way, which may be seen as a wrong practice in the grand scheme of things, but it still works. Arren was that kind of person, therapy wasn't one of his options at all. He knew himself better.
And he also had a lot of things to ask Ashton.
Spade was silent as his eyes drooped and he seemed to ponder the request. His amber eyes grew darker, suppressing the raging emotion inside. If someone would ask him, Spade really didn't want Arren to meet Ashton or be in the same space as that bastard. He was very protective of his people, much less the ones he liked.
Now that Arren was the one asking to see the one who plotted against him, Spade didn't have the heart to refuse, as he himself knew that Arren had the right to be involved in the investigation of his own case. Especially with what he witnessed and heard from Arren's mouth.
He may have also forgotten or overlooked the fact that Arren was not vulnerable or delicate enough to rely on or be dependent on someone. The omega was different from other omegas, and he was especially determined and strong, which was one of the aspects of the omega's personality he liked.
Spade's emotions had long become chaotic, and Arren was the only reason he could maintain his calm demeanor. Arren's emotions were more important. He should have been aware of Arren's emotional state and paid close attention to it.
He exhaled in defeat but did not express approval as he confirmed, "Are you really okay with seeing him?"