The Nonexistent Child

Elazar held her face in her hands, the yellow flowers on her head had long since withered to a repressed blue. The weeds and flowers around her had darkened and died at her feet.

The nymph didn't need to look up to sense her companions approaching. In front of her, her aperture was fading away, golfen particles of fairy magic dissolving away, the scene she'd watched within it long empty of movement.

Crunch, the break of leaves and bush as the animals in question—the surviving set of them, anyways—entered her glade.

"What have you done?" She murmured from between her knees. The wolves' ears fell, they took a seat just within the range of their master's vision.

"If you were going to face it my place, you should have just finished the deed through to the end. What did you let it live?" She didn't lift her head from beneath her knees.

She took a deep breath.

"Is it my fault," she stroked her pale turquoise hair back through her fingers "for letting my malice flow through with my command to you?"

She looked up, the expression in her teal blue eyes still dark from those heavy emotions, but right now that was moved to the side for her frustration. The small buds of flowers that had once bloomed by her feet were blackened and crunches like autumn leaves every time she moved. The pixies has long since made a path avoiding their irritable lord.

"Oh, what have you done." Her expression soured again and her head sank back into her hands. "It would have been better if you'd just let me do that myself. Now you've gone and instigated a fight with a dragon." She crosses her arms, glaring at her companions.

Their personalities were recognizable to her immediately, even though their bodies and midnight black coats were all the same. The stoic one that froze up when she scolded him, the timid older brother that was bent with its snoot rested upon its paw, tail testingly tapping the ground, and the sister, her ears pulled back like the rest of them, tapping the ground in her fidgetiness, body half lowered and half not. She never seemed to know what to do with all that energy.

The nymph snapped her head away, but called them over, "come here."

Her companions timidly approached the angry nymph, eyes unmoving from the familiar figure as they hesitantly took their familiar seats on the ground around her, waiting. One of them nudged her arm with its shoot.

"No." She grudgingly gritted.

It's ears fell back, but it booped her again. The nymph spun her head around, puffing her cheeks.

"You've been a bad wolf today."

Nonetheless, she stroked its head, and it slightly settled down. But this caused overs to come demanding her affection now, and Elazar crosses her arms.

"Aren't you lot just a bunch of babies."

With a set of ear-backs and timid tail wags, the nymph's walls were defeated again. Maybe next time. There was no use plummeting it into their heads when there was no undoing what had been done.

The nymph sighed, the bust behind her creeping forwards to support her back.

"It's a bit impressive."

The wolves hesitatingly looked up at her.

"You have my magic, but you're quite strong to disarm a dragon."

A small tail wag responded to her praise. The nymph sighed to herself, looking up.

************

Clunk

A large speckle of water that had runoff from the piles of snow above dripped down through the cracks in the dark cavern wall, making a splash as it hit a puddle.

Tick

Tick

The droplets ticked, nearly consistent as a clock.

Tick tap

Tip tap

They continued to fall nonchalantly as the little sprite drifted in and out of awareness. Now and then, her facial muscles would stiffen or her eyes would shift a little beneath their lids, but then the activity would die down again.

Tick... tick... tick...

Splash

Another particularly large clump of water clanked against the cavern floor, breaking Sophia from the cycle.

The darkness was too hard to see, but she could hear a leak somewhere trickle down along the stalactites, only she didn't know what they were called, so she called them cave teeth, and imagined that this entire rocky structure was just the inside of some ancient monster's mouth. It made sense, since there were 'teeth' on the bottom of the cave, too.

Stop.

She hadn't noticed it until it ceased, the repetitive brushing of fingers untangling her hair.

"Mmh" the little girl whined, turning her head back and forth to protest the absence. Even in its messy state, the way her messy curls framed her petite face and bounced when she moved was surreal, like a doll. They used to be much lighter, an almost lime yellow color, but they'd darkened to begin having the occasional strands of sparkly, lemony gold, here and there. In short, she was very cute. And it would hurt anyone's heart to see the contrast between her bright, sun-colored hair and her pale, sickly skin.

"Sophia, baby?"

The right side of Sophia's face frowned, she didn't have the strength to cringe the entire way through. She didn't like being called baby. It was gross. She wasn't a big kid, but she certainly wasn't a baby anymore. She didn't wear diapers, and she'd been speaking in proper sentences for a while, now.

"Mm-" she turned her head away, burying it into white inner fur lining of the cloak she was wrapped in, too tired to properly argue.

"Sophia, water." She felt ticklish hands scratch at the corner of her cheek. With a small whine, she lifted her head, opening her mouth obediently to let the icy cold water drip into her parched lips.

It was unpleasant to be shaken awake to drink, now and again. The parched feeling in her mouth was somewhat comfortable, compared to the unpleasant splashes of cold water that irritates her throat. Still, it was relieving to be reminded of that familiar presence, right there. Before she knew it, she'd passed out again.

Tip

Tap....

Tip...tap...

"Sophia? Wake up?" She could vaguely register the sound of her sister's voice, going in one ear and out the other.

"Sophia, please wake up." There was a quiver in her voice, so distant and so far away, but she was too tired.

"Sophia? No. Wake up." There was fear in her voice. "Sophi...Baby?"

She couldn't bring herself to open her eyes, to lift her head. Before she knew it, she was out cold again, and the voice was gone again.

Tip Tap...

Tip Tap...

How long had she been barely conscious, sounds and noises slipping in through one ear and slipping out the other through a vacant mind?

She felt terrible. Oh yeah, she was sick. Her insides felt all dry and stuck together. How gross.

She turned her head which felt as heavy as a giant rock to look for her sister. Her neck felt too wobbly to hold her head up, and her chest hurt too much from coughing to try sitting up. She didn't see her.

'Sis?'

The sprite's green eyes squinted weakly into the dark cavern. Sis? Where had her sister gone?

She could make out the light from a fire with her fever vision, so it hasn't been long. Maybe she was just a few feet away. Maybe she was right behind her.

She tried to turn her body to see. It ached, she couldn't. She was hungry, and her body was sore. Her head was too heavy. It was too silent.

Sophia's small lone form stared soundlessly out into the empty, dark cave. The bluish light coming in from the entrance, around the corner, hummed in ghostly, wheezy breaths. Sophia knew it was just the wind, out there, but on days like this, at home, she would never be alone.

The weak little thing felt tears build up in her eyes. Where was her sister? Come back quickly. She was scared. Squinting away tears, her cheeks ached, and her top eyelids drooped.

"Shh, it's okay."

Warm hands were embracing her, patting her small head and telling her she'd be alright.

She held her smaller body gently to her side as she walked her down the dark stone hallway, away from the now distant room down that opened in through large double doors, from which yellow candlelight seeped into the hall. She wasn't that big, herself, but it felt like the long arms of that slightly older child could protect her from the world.

Wrapped inside them, she was safe from anything. And because of that, even though the little girl was still upset, she let herself be dragged away by that warm embrace.

She couldn't tell if it was a hallucination. The sensation of those hands was so vivid. The echoes of that voice was so real. She wanted it to be real.

"Hehe. Mamà, lookie what I got!"

The little girl raced across the slippery stones of the pristine castle room, her curls bouncing with her chirpy little movements. All her attention and purpose was driven towards the pretty little pearls of shiny red currants in her arms.

Unfortunately, her dress was a little too long, and one of her feet stepped over her skirt, sending the small child into a face dive onto the solid floor.

"....wa" the smallest of baby sobs began to form from the little princesse's throat, but it was suddenly cut off.

The little girl quickly recovered from her not so graceful fall. But when she looked up, to her dismay, her mother wasn't even looking her way. Her face still very reddened and still working on de-contouring from the very obvious sob that had begun to manifest just moments ago, she blinked away tears and wiped her face.

"Mamà?"

Sophia worked up the courage to break the silence.

"Mamà?"

The little girl again wiped her face, trying to form a pleasant smile upon her face, like how it'd been. Was it because she'd cried? Or was it one of those times where her mother just wanted to be alone? Was it because she'd tripped and fallen? Was it unsightly? Sophia wouldn't know, she wouldn't tell her.

"Mamà I'm okay now. Mamà?" But her voice wouldn't go back to normal. Even though she hadn't even hurt herself.

Was it because her voice was unsightly? She could fix that. She could become happy again. See? Mamà, look.

"Mamà?"

Tears began to cloud her eyes again, uncontrollably. Though she tired her best to swallow them back in, they were determined to thwart her efforts.

She took another step forwards. She could feel the thickness of the silence, telling her to leave.

"Mamà, I'm good now. You can look at me now, Mamà. Mamà?"

"...Please?"

Sophia wiped her cheek, tugging at her mother's skirt. "Mamà? Please? I'm good now, Mamà.

Her lips began to warp, threatening to burst into a wail again. The little girl heaved in and out, trying to hold back her tears, blinking her eyes to clear them, her brows trembling with the effort to keep her crying at a frown. The little thing was surprisingly strong. But her parent didn't pay her any mind.

"Heh." She played it off as a soft, forced laugh, wiping her eye as she took a couple of steps forwards.

This was the point where it was a definite that her mother wasn't going to acknowledge her. She could just turn around and hope to be good enough next time. The hugs and affection she'd receive next time were worth retreating to just her elder sister for comfort for another few days. Besides, she was a very fragile dragon, and she didn't know what would become of her if she angered a grown up dragon.

But this time, for whatever reason, her voice didn't stay inside.

"Mamà? Look at me." She stated boldly.

When she received no response, Sophia took a couple of more gutsy steps forwards. Her face began to warp again, and tears began to come out.

"Mamà? Mamà?"

"Look at me!" She yelled.

Her small fingers matched onto the fabric of her mother's skirt. She was crying loudly. She didn't usually make that much of a scene.

"Mama! Mama, look at me." She whined loudly, the tears flowing out of her eyes uncontrollably.

But the figure in front of her didn't look. And that made the little girl cry even harder, her doll-like face warped blemished from crying so hard. She stomped her little feet, grabbing her mother's hand, pulling harder.

It was like this when she showed something unsightly. It was always like this. Mamà and Papà would only pay attention to her when she was sweet and pleasant. If she stepped out of line, if she said something she wasn't supposed to, if she tripped and started to cry, it was like she'd suddenly disappeared. It had always been like that, for as long as Sophia could remember. They wouldn't tell her what she did, she wouldn't even tel her when they were going to do it, she would be left to cry on her own until someone else finally came to pick her up and comfort her, but it wasn't her parents.

Maybe if she cried loud enough, she would eventually cave?

"Mama. Hic. Mamà, look at me. Please?"

Even if it meant she would scold her like she did Sonata. Even if it would be scary, even if her parents would be meaner as a result.

"Please? Hicc. Mama. Mama, talk to me! Mamá?" It was an all-out tantrum, now.

But her mother wouldn't look. Blue eyes stubbornly locked on the opposite wall.

Hestia's head barely shifted, and for a moment Sophia believed she'd finally caved and turned to look at her. But instead, she just heard the cold clap as her small hands were slapped off of the queen's much larger one.

Her eyes stared upwards at a loss.

"Ado..bwbo-" Sophia's jibberish faded into a muted whine. Her brows scrunched into another frown.

Consumed by another wave of toddler-like anger, the little girl set about stomping over to a table against the wall. With her small fingers, she tugged at whatever expensive breakable item she could reach, and held it up threateningly. The queen still didn't bother looking at her.

With a childish screech of anger, the small child threw the precious item towards the ground, watching it shatter into a thousand little, tiny fragments as it made contact and broke. Receiving no reaction, Sophia fumbled around again, finding a fragile looking mirror and holding it up again, looking for any sort of reaction that didn't come in the form of the slightest flinch as it made a loud shattering sound as it crashed down.

The small being just stood there, hands empty, at a loss, tears once more streaming down her face.

"Sophi sorry..hicc..Sophi hid say sorry." Her speech had deflected back into baby talk.

Sophia shuffled around the shards spread dangerously across the ground, back to tug on her mother's skirt.

"Mama," she was crying harder, barely able to pronunciate the word. "Mama."

Sophia could barely make out the sound of feet clapping against the ground towards her over her own sobs.

Tug.

She felt the soft hold of a pair of hands wrapped around her elbows, nudging her away from her mother.

A whisper tickled the hair on the back of her skull. "Sophia."

Sophia's head flicked backwards, her lime yellow ringlets temporarily splayed by the jerk of her motion. Her wide green eyes shared an emotion that made the figure behind her slightly wince.

Sonata gently tugged her arms again.

"Sophia, let's go," she whispered. Her sister was usually right, so it was probably best for her to go now. There were probably repercussions if she made a scene any longer.

Sophia whined babyishly, turning back towards her mom.

To her surprise, the woman's head was turned her way, a dark, cold expression in her eyes.

"Ma?"

But those eyes weren't looking at her.

Her sister softly pinched her arm down that had been clinging to their mother's dress, holding her babyish arms a little more firmly by the insides of both her elbows as she guided her backwards and away from the older dragon.

"Mama?" She called.

The Queen's eyes were still fixated on her eldest child. Her right eye formed the smallest hint of a quint as her brows descended into the most controlled and calculated frowns. Gently, she exhaled, "I'm disappointed." She spoke softly, but her tone was terrifying.

Sophia's face flushed with hot tears again. She pulled against her sister's grip. Still, she found the courage to retaliate "Me too!" Tears dropped down her chin.

"Mamà, I'm right here too! Why won't you talk to me? Sophi's here too."

It was suddenly very silent apart from Sophia's labored breaths. Sonata's grip on her little sister's arms wordlessly tightened.

"I wonder the reason why I'd keep such a nuisance here instead of sending it away, if it so obviously isn't being bettered by its surroundings." She mock-wondered to herself in warning.

Sophia's felt a small fire burn alight in her chest. She tugged away from her sister's grip again, stomping her foot.

"No!" She screamed. Why was she still talking to her sister? Her sister had nothing to do with this. She was her own person. She was right there.

"The younger one seems to have developed quite the insufferable temperament since I've last seen her. It seems her elder sister hasn't succeeded in acting as much of a role model." She tilted her head, anger beyond that pale, calm façade.

"Why? Hic. Mama, I'm right here. Why won't you look at me?" She screamed.

"Tell me what Sop-I did it!"

"Me too...Sophi's also... Why do you..."

She was out of breath, no matter how much she swallowed air "Hic...only Sonata... aren't I... I'm.."

Yell at me. Please. Just yell at me, too.

The Queen's eyes finally left their captive, and turned downwards. "Get the sprite out of my sight, before it creates even more damage."

Just as easily as she'd turned towards them, Hestia turned away. Never once did her eyes even speckle upon the crying blond haired child, not even when talking to Sonata, who was right besides her.

Sophia's voice died as she realized her mother wasn't even looking their way anymore. Her mossy-emerald eyes were wide plates, at a loss, the reflection of the mother that wouldn't acknowledge her the only thing within them. Her mouth tried to form around the word "Mamà" again, but nothing could come out.

Before she could start another round all over again, Sonata pulled her back. Her grip on her gentler this time, but just as imperatively firm. She could feel her sister's fear through her touch.

But it still wasn't okay. She still couldn't let it go.

The little girl tried to attempt calling out again. She tried to form her lips around the word again, but they trembled and it was hard to control her breaths. "I'm sorry." She barely sounded.

She felt a whisper tickle the back of her head. "Little sister, let's go."

Sophia looked up teary-eyed towards the owner of the voice. She felt Sonata begin to move backwards, almost dragging her away, still gently. Still gently nudging her to follow.

"The sprite." Her mother didn't usually use that word. It hurt. Even if she didn't understand it, she knew it was supposed to hurt. Was it because she was a "sprite?" Was that why her mom wouldn't even yell at her, when she did something wrong?

She just wanted her affection, like when she was sweet. She just wanted to be acknowledged too. Even if she was as scary with her as she was with Sonata, or whatever was causing the small tremble in her sister's grip.

Sophia's feet began to half follow her sister, half be dragged away.

"I'll be good." She barely whispered the offer from the bottom of her throat, where it was all broken and husky.

I won't break more things. I won't be a nuisance, so...

She continued being pulled along backwards, eyes never leaving the parent who was ignoring her now until they were out of the door.

Behind the shadow the large oak door cast into the hallway, her heart began to suddenly sink, and tears began to build up. A bitter taste rose up in her throat.

Pitter patter.

She heard the sound of footsteps clapping the ground. And suddenly, she was wrapped in a very firm hug.

Sophia blinked and squinted hot tears out of her eyes, but she felt most of them recede back into her eyes, somehow.

Hic.

Somehow, an uncontainable, soundless sob rocked her body.

Sonata held her tightly. Warmly. Despite the fact that she'd struggled against her, when she tried to pull Sophia away. Even though she wasn't a very good little sister.

But something about that felt right. It hurt even more though, because she wished her parents were like that. If she was too much, that they would just forcefully drag her away or grab her tightly so she couldn't move. But still hug her. They never hugged her when the tears arrived. When she began to show signs that she was upset, she disappeared.

Sonata was the only person she who hugged her despite whatever she did. Even when she was ugly crying unlike a princess, and her screams hurt her own ears.

Nestled inside those secure arms, it wasn't okay, really, no matter how much it was said it out loud. But it was bearable, and she was safe enough. It was okay enough.

The tiny mound of curly hair and limbs tucked her face deeply into her sister's body, till no light hit her eyelids anymore, and she couldn't even breathe, until she absolutely had to emerge to take a breath of air. And even then, she stayed cuddled into her body like a baby bird hiding in its parents feathers, hiding her face as a round of hiccups shook her small body.

"Shhh. Shhh, shh. It's okay, little one." The girl's voice cooed, patting her little sister's head as though she were a parent, hugging her patiently even though she was crying quite heavily despite her reassurances.

"It's okay, Baby. You're safe now." She whispered, patting Sophia's back. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

Sophia shook her head into the hug. No, that wasn't it. She wasn't scared. She wasn't scared at all. She was angry, she thought to herself as hot tears streamed down her cheeks. She tried to defend herself in protest, but her voice just came out in that whiny toddler croak that came before a large sob.

"Shh, shhh."

Sophia let herself be muted into another hug, her eyes searching questionably into a face she couldn't see between both their messy hair. Her eyes began to leak hot tears once again. Tears that now hurt to even cry.

Giving in, she let herself be calmed by just the sound of her sisters heartbeat and the warmth of her hold. Her sore cheeks urged her eyes closed. Her body felt so tired and wobbly, she could almost pass out here. It was warm. Her body was being held against her older sister's. It still hurt, but it felt okay here, for now. Just for now.

The four year old felt herself being lifted off the ground just as she was about to completely doze off. She looked up at her big sister, wiping the dried stickiness from her face, sniffling the tears that had made their way into her nose.

An uneasiness in the little stiffness of her sister's body movement was noticeable. Meeting Sophia's gaze, though, the lips that faced get only formed a small, reassuring smile. Was she scared? Was she mistaking the emotions in her expression?

The little sprite glanced around, but there was nothing to speak of.

The Sophia who was frowning upwards in thought felt her head dip, her neck eventually too tired to hold it up with such an available head cushion so close by and available. And now that she'd partaken in the luxury of the automatically heated head pillow, she couldn't go back.

"Sis," she murmured, sniffling into her hold. She felt Sonata's hand rub her back...that was nice. It felt nice to be comforted.

'Do more.'

She nuzzled her forehead into the side of Sonata's neck, wordlessly snuggling in, hungry for cuddles. Her little fingers latched onto Sonata's skirt to keep her close.

She heard the small huff of a scoff, "what are you doing?" She could hear a mischievous grin in her voice.

A small smirk formed on Sophia's face. 'Should I do the small?' She wondered.

Sophia looked up, meeting her sister's eyes in thought. 'I want to hide in her head. I wanna do the small.'

Sophia pawed at Sonata's shoulder which turned into little scratches, an itty bitty lizard-snake-thing of a dragon clawing its Way up and wrapping around Sonata's neck of her own violation.

"Hahaha—Ow! Ow, that hurts! Haha—Sophia, no. I'm ticklish—You can't."

Sophia stuck out her chiseled tongue, her tail flicking back and forth mischievously as she nuzzled into the ticklish nine year old's neck. She was very well hidden by her sister's long willow-ish hair. It was a nice little hidden perch.

"No—please—S-Sophia" the princess giggled between gasps, prying the little dragon off off her neck, who gave a little squeak of a whine.

Sophia nibbled at her fingers in retaliation. Her teeth were spiky, but they didn't bite through. She could feel the tickle of Sophia's thrashing legs trying to grab a hold of something on her shoulder, the futile little set of rugs as talons just barely missed latching themselves into her clothes.

"Pfffft."

The lanky little dragon looked quite a bit pitiful, squirming in her arms, her little arms still flailing futilely in the air, expressing mental denial that she'd lost the battle without even putting up a fight. Well, that went without saying. She was a very small and helpless baby of a dragon, after all.

"What a fierce little battle lizard."

Sonata tilted her head as she watched the little lizard thing in her hands switch tactics to pouting, it's small tail swishing submissively back and forth and those big eyes open wide for all the baby twinkling lights they were worth.

"You can't sit there. I'm sensitive and I'm not your perch to sit on."

The tiny dragon stuck out its tongue, beginning a squeak that came out in a yawn. 'I wanna sit!'

"You have spiky little baby talons that you can't really control." Sonata answered, as though she could make out the gist of her sister's retaliation without the words.

Squeak-yawn. 'But I feel nice on your shoulders...'

Sonata huffed.

The little dragon huffed through its nose, resting its jaw on her sister's thumb. 'But I feel safe there...'

It then shifted back into nibbling and testing the different parts of Sonata's hand, hissing as it was showing how big her itty bitty little gummy white teeth were in between the bites, more than anything.

The older dragon scoffed bemusedly at her impudence. For now, she would let the small snake be.

The older princess began to walk, shifting the way she held little dragon in her hands to hug her against her chest as she walked. Sophia wiggled around. She could feel the pressure of one set of tiny talons sticking into her dress. It was fine though, she was being careful. Sonata couldn't deny it would probably be terrifying to be carried so far up above the ground without even slightly reaching for something to hold on to.

Huff.

Sophia presses her head against her sister, the warmth of her body about as encasing as when she'd made her home by her shoulders.

Sophia wiggled around, trying to burrow and hide herself within her sister's arms.

Sonata held in giggles as her slithery tail and buttercup yellow feathers that shifted with every muscle contraction tickled against her skin. "What are you doing?" She mused.

The little dragon seemed to reply by finding her proper spot and settling down, just the curve of her back and a peekaboo talon latched onto the corner of Sonata's arm was visible.

Sonata studied her curiously. She did not understand the appeal of this action. Was this another trick to catch her off guard in the war for her neck pirch?

But the little ball of floof seemed content enough with her current predicament, enough so that she didn't emerge.

She would have much rather had her sister for a mother. Couldn't she just be her mom? She acted like her mom anyways. That was fine. Her sister was her mom now. She would ask her when she saw her again.

...Again?

Wasn't her sister right besides her, holding her against her shoulder?

She felt like she was forgetting something...

But the draw of sleep was too strong.