Alone Chapter 20 - 4

Wanting fresh air away from the competing perfumes and thousand voices, Cesare made for the gardens. The balls were more for the others than they were for him. He didn't do the political games of small talk and innuendo; his kind of diplomacy came at the end of a knife. Strength wasn't on display, the Umbrae Lunae walking the rainbow light were the connected and rich.

Stepping through the crystal doors, he welcomed the warm night air with a satisfied sigh as the smell of flowers washed over him. The rainbow light from the ball room played over the inset stones, turning the closest plants into mesmerizing displays of life and broken light.

In the deeper darkness of the garden, the moons light claimed the land as its own. Wandering down the simple paths, his hand dipped, running fingers over the delicate petals of the night blooming flowers. Pale whites that glowed in the moonlight, soft yellows hiding in the moons shadow, each a testament to the beauty only found in darkness.

The night clothed him, the sounds of the party coming to him in small strains of laughter. Here in the dark, he could face that he'd be dead come this time tomorrow. While he was going into this with every intention of winning, his plan was all hope and no meat.

He sat down on a cold stone bench, leaning back to stare up at the moon. He loved the night. The sun punished those that dared look at its glory, ravaged their eyes, and burned their skin. The moon welcomed the love of her children, letting them set their eyes on her elegant beauty, laying her gentle light upon them, making them more than they were.

Blade thin shadows advanced through the night, each a deeper darkness, staining the air with malice. Silently, they moved through the garden, guarding and containing the beating heart of their diseased desire.  Cesare watched the harem come, feeling Kali draw closer. Walking into sight, Cesare's eyes skipped over the glowering faces of the harem to the women they protected.

Elizabeth and Kali sat down next to him without a word, watching the moon with him. They didn't break into his thoughts, content to sit in the warm darkness and stare into a sky shot through with starlight's illusion. They weren't in a hurry to go back to the dazzling light and poisoned tongues of the party.

"Can you win?" Quiet words softly ghosted through the night as fearful as the rabbit that knows the owl's hunting. Only Elizabeth's words weren't fear for herself.

Staring at the sky, Cesare took his time in answering, knowing saying it would make it real. "Probably not."

Elizabeth sucked in the air in a whistling gasp. Cesare preferred the loving touch of lies silken touch, but she deserved the truth. Or maybe he needed all his lies for himself tonight.

"Don't go. Forfeit the fight, let them have the win," Elizabeth said, words intense and threaded with need.

"I always say, never start a fight you can't win," Cesare said, eyes never leaving the sky. "But a general has to keep his eye on the prize. Sometimes to win a war, you have to sacrifice a few troops. A general should lose a battle if it benefits the war. My forfeiture would cripple the Furies, the dishonor tainting Alexandra most of all, but don't think for a minute it won't spill over onto Anastasia. The loss to the greater plan is unacceptable," Cesare said just as quietly, power wove through the air as the night deepened, shadows taking on depth as wisps of cruelty filled their starving veins.

"You could die, how's that going to help anyone?" Elizabeth laid a hot hand on his knee, concern pushing her to break the boundary she'd enforced between them.

"If I die tomorrow, everything I've done remains in place. Cerberus and the Scythians will back them, and with Blaez on their side, they'll have all they need to break the Thagirion." He tried not to dwell on how nice it felt to have her hand on him. "It's not ideal, but it's better than having everything we've built rot."

Elizabeth slumped back in defeat. It was his life, and only he knew what it was worth. There wasn't anything more sacrosanct than the act of giving your life for something, it was the only thing you truly owned.

They wandered back to the party, Elizabeth stopping him on the threshold with a hand on his arm. "I can't stop you and be your friend, but I want you to know, I've never had a friend like you. If you die tomorrow, I'll mourn your passing until the end of my days, and I'll bury the thing that kills you."

"No regrets. You're the best friend I've ever had," Cesare said softly.

Breathing deeply, Elizabeth pushed down the emotion that threatened to break through control. "The sad part is I've never been the kind of friend you deserve. That you don't see that breaks my heart."

Lady Kali looped her hand through his, bumping his hip with hers. "I see the Hive's decided to hold true to their beliefs." It was an obvious move to change the subject, and one Cesare was happy for, nothing good had ever come from examining his life.

"I don't see any new faces," Cesare said, looking down at the woman walking possessively beside him.

"The Hive don't mingle. Primrose still holds the ball, but they haven't come to one of these in centuries. They kill our kind; they don't talk to them." Smiling grimly, she continued, "Maybe they don't like to play with their food."

Shortly after leaving the garden, the party wound down. The others peeled off as they left the Cathedral Luminis until it was only Cesare and Kali. The harem stayed with them, stalking around the two in a protective, hostile circle. Moving with the fluid grace of those expecting violence, hands brushing weapons, they bled eagerness. They couldn't take out their anger on Cesare, but their anger hungered for an outlet, they'd take their blood price from anything that crossed their path.

Kali stopped him on the steps to the Serpens Lacum. "Let me spend the night with you?" Her eyes searched his, in that moment he understood how weird this was for her. She wasn't used to asking.

Vulnerable and worried, it was a hard place to be. Bending down, Cesare kissed her forehead. "If that's what you want." Smiling, she stepped to the side, pulling Nzinga aside to inform the Bouda of the change in plans.

As she left Cesare's side, Micheal stepped into his space. Thin and nimble, the man possessed a killer's grace. Micheal was the current standard bearer for the fuck Cesare crowd.

"I split that sweet pussy last night. Hope you like sloppy seconds, damnati." The whispered words dripped with gleeful spite, stinking of truths shit odor.

A smile cut across Cesare's face. "Your nothing but a flesh coated dildo. She won't miss you when you're gone, she never missed the thousands that came before you. The only thing you've got is what's in your pants. News flash asshole, half the world has a cock, your nothing special."

Micheal tensed, hands drifting to his side dangerously. There was a weighing look to the man's eyes as he ran the percentages on killing Cesare and getting away with it.

"Is there a problem, Micheal?" Kali asked, rapidly closing the distance with an unhurried walk.

Bowing low, Micheal used the movement to cover his hands retreat from his sides. "No, my Lady. But are you sure you'll be safe; you'd be better off in our rooms at Vagabonds Exile." His eyes turned to the Serpens Lacum with distaste. "Someone of your standing has no need to sleep in a dorm that houses adolescent boys. Surely the accommodations of the town are more appropriate."

Kali stepped past the man to Cesare's side, snaking an arm familiarly around the boy's waist. "Cesare will keep me warm, and I don't require protection."

Nodding, Micheal backed away. "As you say, my Lady." Leaving with the others, the night swallowed the man in seconds.

Taking the steps together, Kali pushed open the massive door as if it was on greased hinges. The deserted hallways were quiet and dark with only shadows to watch the two of them.

"What did he say to you?" Kali asked, breaking the silence that held them.

"He told me you fucked him last night and hoped I enjoyed sloppy seconds," Cesare said casually, he wouldn't lie to her about her own harem.

Fury contorted her face, dark eyes flooding with a black that burned and twisted. A burst of scalding heat blasted out, heat haze dancing in the air as rage was made tangible. "I'll make that bastard pay for sticking his nose into my business." The mutter was threaded with viciousness.

Holding his door open for her, Cesare closed it behind him. Pulling his sweats out of the dresser, he tucked them under his arm to take with him to the bath. "I'm sorry he said that." Kali's words stopped him. Turning to her, he noticed the supernatural radiance of perfect skin, offset by beautiful, almond shaped eyes.

"I'm not your keeper, Kali. It's not my business who you fuck," Cesare said, folding the clothes in his hands.

"I would never come to your bed without showering." Kali winced as she heard the words. Spreading her hands helplessly, she continued, "I don't know how to do this, Cesare. The men I spend time with don't expect me to be faithful, sex is just something we do, it's not about our feelings."

"Like I said, I don't own you. You're not my girl, you don't love me," Cesare said, recounting the earlier conversation. "I wouldn't be with someone that did that. Not because I think it's wrong, it's your body, you can fuck who you want. But that's not what I want." Cesare stopped, looking away from Kali's searching eyes. "My bodies not much, it's not pretty, or sexy. Scarred and ugly, it's nothing to be proud of, but it's mine. I'm not going to share it with someone who's only looking for another notch on her bedpost."

Swallowing, he met her eyes. "I can't do what you do. It'll always be opening my most vulnerable self to someone, showing them my mysteries and pains, the aching places that never healed. I've lost most of the good in me, bargained it away for food and a place to sleep. I don't have anything left that's pure or untainted to offer, but I can give them my broken, maimed truth."

She watched sadly as he left the room. He didn't have a problem with her choice of bed partners. If she wanted to sport fuck, he certainly wasn't going to stop her. It was her body, and she had every right to decide what she wanted to do with it.

But it wasn't for him, and he wouldn't be with someone who gave their body to others. Maybe it was hypocritical to demand she fall in line with what he wanted. But if she had the right to decide who she wanted to be with, then he had the same right. He wouldn't share his bed partner, not for her or anyone else.

Turning off the lights in the bathroom, Cesare made his way to the bath. The darkness clothed him while silence ran its fingers over his body. Sliding into the tub, Cesare sighed as hot water stung flesh, pain probing deep into muscle.

It was times like this that he realized how crazy his life was. The daily struggle kept him from reflecting on how edgy his life had gotten. Cesare had a talent for adapting, but never gave a thought to if he should adapt. A frog that jumps into hot water leaps out just as quickly, but if you slowly warm the water it boils to death. Cesare wondered if he was quietly boiling, flesh sloughing off body, blood staining water as organs failed.

He'd come a long way from starving on the streets and dodging old Toms looking for a slap and tickle. Now he worried he'd fall short and watch the people he loved die for it. He hadn't wanted this, but it had exposed one of his greatest pleasures. He liked calling the shots. Craved it, hungered for control in a way that rode side by side with his sadism, he longed to dominate and own them. To possess body and soul.

It scared the shit out of him. He was making it up as he went along, never sure he wouldn't get them killed. That fear stopped him from ever giving them less than his best. He loved them, coveted the time he spent with them, but more than anything, he wanted them to have the chance to be who they wanted to be. Their dreams were dearer to him than his life, because his dreams were freaks, best kept out of sight and hidden, mangled, crippled things of blighted flesh.

Under the covers of his bed, Kali watched him push open the door. After hanging up his school uniform, he walked to the bed. Smiling, Kali lifted the covers in welcome, showing off her perfect form.

Pearl like skin shone in the faded moonlight, silky black hair a stain across porcelain white. Sleek without a muscle line to break her supple form, she was the picture of youth and innocent sensuality, a thing for all her power. A dominate force, unbreakable, unstoppable, her size eclipsed by overwhelming presence. Laying in his bed, it was impossible not to be reminded of how delicate she was. Her breasts rode high on her chest, firm, but smaller than he'd thought they were, little more than hardened nipples. Softly rounded hips led his eyes down to the delicate petals of her sex. No hair or blemish marred her beauty, she was as perfect as an ideal created in the fevered imaginations of adolescent boys.

A gentle swelling of sexual need emanated from the Mother of Destruction, her smile turning up into something wicked as she put her powers to use. While Cesare had made his decision, that didn't mean she wasn't above pushing those boundaries. A rush of heat boiled up from inside Cesare, filling his veins, striking fire to his heart. Sweats that were fine seconds ago were suddenly tight and cramped. Need plucked at his darkest desires, pain and submission running together in a vile river threatening to pull his feet out from under him.

Flickers of Ebon Flame danced in Kali's eyes as her power spread through the room. Desire saturated the air, twisting tendrils penetrating deep into flesh. Wicked as old sin, her aura pulsed across his skin, caressing down his body, unspeakable wants transforming into desperate needs.

Cesare saw the calculation behind her eyes, wanting him to break. It would be deliciously appalling; she'd delight in every degrading, beastly craving, as sated his stygian desires in her flesh. Glorying in his every depravity, she'd make them holy sacraments.

Kali existed without limits like all Harab Serapel. They fed on the darkest of needs, the most disgusting of desires, growing powerful off emotions that would sicken others. They'd never condemn his sick cravings. Wasn't that what we all craved, to be accepted for the sins wiggling in our souls? God doesn't accept us, condemning us for the sins burned into our bones and breed in our flesh. Parents discard us like broken toys when we don't measure up. Friends pay nothing but lip service to the ideal, forked tongues stealing what you would've given for free. If you found a person who could look down on your rotten soul with love, nuzzling the decomposing flesh, what would you do for someone like that?

Struggling with the rising tide of raw desire, he got into bed. With gentle hands, he turned Kali away from him so he could spoon with her. "If you want to sleep without me prodding you in the back, you might want to tone it down." His hands trembled on her stomach, want waring with will.

"There's other ways we could take care of that problem," Kali said suggestively, pushing her ass against the tent of hardened flesh. A low groan forced its way out as he felt her perky butt press into his hardness.

Dipping his head, Cesare breathed in her scent. Hot skin kissed his flesh with scorching heat, the soft, taught skin of her stomach like silk left too close to a fire. Licking across her neck, a low growl of blackest obsession thrummed through the air. "No." Ragged and tortured, it was still as hard as steel.

She gave it a minute before sighing in defeat, the heat of the room lowering as she let her power burn down to an ember. "I just wanted to make our last night something special," Kali said, hands caressing over his.

"You think I'll lose?" Wary anger flooded through him.

"Never." Smoky, the word was old velvet worn smooth by age. "I know you'll win. But this is the last fight of the year, and school ends in a month. No matter what happens tomorrow, I won't see you for months. I was hoping I'd be able to give you something … to remember me by."

Cesare laughed quietly as he buried his head in her neck, taking delight in the slow shiver that rolled through her body. "You lie like a beautiful sunset bleeds," Cesare said, running his tongue along her pulse point, savoring the taste of her slightly salty skin. "You wanted to tie a line to me, one I'd find hard to cut. Another chain you could use to take me as your pet." Because that was the real point of her seduction. To own his flesh, knowing it was a path to his soul.

Kali cuddled back into him with a low laugh. "So, you caught me." Shrugging, her lithe body she burrowed into him until Cesare was wrapped around her.

Kali was complex. Possessive, manipulative, supremely convinced of her own rightness, she was a thing that had survived centuries. Nations had fallen to dust, races obliterating themselves in wars they couldn't win. Through it all, she thrived, a great white owning the world it swam in. She believed she knew best, and given her success, who could blame her?

"I don't love you." The words jerked Cesare from his half sleep, eyes flashing open. "Not as you want me to love you. But that doesn't mean I don't like you, or that I won't miss you. You can't know how much this time means to me."

"So much that you screwed a guy the night before, huh?" The words slipped out in all their poisoned glory before he could pull them back.

The room went quiet, words making a lie of everything he'd said earlier. The head will never rule the heart, a man can't strangle himself with his own hands. She came to his bed and gave him sweet words and gentle touches, when the night before she was moaning around some other man's cock. What was he supposed to do with that? Just suck it up and pretend it didn't hurt? She made her choice and he made his, but this gray, tortured area of non-being couldn't last.

Silently, Kali threaded her fingers with his on her belly, holding tightly to him. She knew this might be the last night she had him. No matter what happened tomorrow, Cesare was always one step away from calling it quits.