Chapter 26

Shannon was already there when I arrived, but she wasn't alone, there was another person across from her, Liam. After reaching them I took a seat next to Shannon.

„Hello." I said looking at Liam unhappily and he grinned back at me. 

„Sorry." She gestured towards him. „ I can't get rid of him."

„I think it's better just to ignore him." I only said that to annoy him, not because he actually bothered me. „What did the doctor say yesterday?"

„She thinks everything will be fine if he does everything according to his treatment plan. He grumbles about the meal plan but he can do it." She smiled softly at the thought of her father. „How was it after the funeral?"

„It was terrible." I muttered truthfully. „Mother completely lost her cool and took a toll on Ailish as well."

„And what about you? Are you okay?" She asked studying my face. „You look tired."

„I can't sleep well for a while." I replied. „But so are Mother and Ailish. I don't know when it will all end. Maybe now that the funeral is over."

„You didn't answer the question." She didn't give up.

„Just a tiny bit... So I went to see Rhys." Her eyes suddenly lit up with excitement.

„And? What happened?" She took the bait immediately.

„We had a bit of a fight but we worked it out, and he invited us to have lunch with his family.

„Us? Who do you mean by us?" She inquired, raising one eyebrow.

„He invited Ailish and Mother too." I mumbled.

„Wow!" She screamed in surprise and delight. „Rhys seems to take this very seriously."

I nodded wordlessly, though I wasn't so sure. I don't know how our relationship is, but I wouldn't call it solid or stable. But this is my fault. I am too unsure about myself and him too. I dare not believe that everything is going to be alright, because everything has never been fine in my life. And I'm still waiting for the moment when he changes his mind and realizes what a pain in the ass I am. And that he doesn't need this kind of nonsense in his life.

„Not even one man wanted to introduce me to his family." She pondered.

„I will introduce you to mine anytime." Liam interjected, but Shannon didn't even look at him.

„Although, it's true that I never wanted to introduce anyone to him either." She continued unperturbed. „I can't believe you're ahead of me in anything. Impossible! Anyway, do you want your mother to get to know him better? Or Ailish?" I thought about it for a moment.

„Mother knows him, but they met only in official settings. She said she wanted to have a good look at him." Shannon giggled.

„Of course she wants to." She nodded. „I would too if I didn't already know him. The man you are infatuated with. I would annoy you until you introduce him.

„I am not infatuated!" I said indignantly.

„Good to know." She laughed. „But I didn't mean it like that. I mean, no matter how many men approached you, you send them away like you are paid for it. I am just wondering what made him different from the rest."

„A lot of things." I muttered avoiding her gaze.

„How would you know that?" She asked curiously. „You never gave them a chance, so you don't know what their personalities were like. Maybe there were some good guys among them."

„I am a very good guy." Liam interrupted us.

„You didn't want to date her because you were genuinely interested in her, but because you wanted to annoy me, so it's better if you stay quiet." Liam grinned and she rolled her eyes but looked cheerful. „You know what I don't understand?" I raised an eyebrow and she continued. „How Rhys managed to get close to you. Or maybe you didn't send him away immediately?"

„Of course I did. I told him many times that I wasn't interested, but he just didn't give up. He always showed up and after some time I didn't mind it too much. He sneaked into my life."

„Ah!" She said this as if she had solved a huge puzzle. „So you like steadfast man, huh? Yeah, that's a good personality trait." She was a bit lost in thoughts.

„I can also be very steadfast." He interrupted again.

„Just because you want to have sex." Shannon glared at him, but he just grinned jokingly. „But you won't get it from me." She stated quickly.

„I'm willing to court you a little before that." He offered it generously.

„There is no need for it." She brushed it off easily. „I have quite a few suitors." Her words were imbued with vitriol. „For that matter, I have a date tonight." At this, Liam's face turned gloomy.

„And with whom?" I asked, when he remained silent, even though it was obvious he was dying to know.

„With Hardy." She answered willingly. „You don't know him. He has very nice blue eyes and incredible abs." As she told me all this, she watched Liam's reaction out of the corner of her eye, but his face was already expressionless. „I can't wait." I didn't hear the rest of what she had to say because I was lost in my thoughts. Maybe Shannon is actually interested in Liam? I'm quite sure he is in love with my friend.

„I have to go." I stood up suddenly and they both looked up at me in surprise.

„Where?" Shannon was the one who asked the question at the end.

„I don't know." I answered truthfully. „But I have to go." I immediately left them to themselves.

A cold wind blew today but the sun was shining. Still, it wasn't enough to ward off the bone-chilling cold. People were shivering at the bus stop, and on the street, they were hurrying towards their destination to get to a place where they could warm up as soon as possible. I had nowhere to go as I had plenty of time before my first class.

I went to my car, climbed in, sat there for a while and then drove off. I ended up in a park. If I'm already here... I sat down on a bench and just stared in front of me. Rarely, I don't do anything but sit. But it's so peaceful. Perhaps I should do it more frequently.

Just sitting or lying down and looking out of my head. To forget about the problems, about the things that make me miserable and to focus only on the beautiful things. The flowers blooming in the park or the colourful fallen leaves covering the grass. The morning smiles that are so rare because people are rather grumpy and it's hard to muster up a smile. The cheerful laughter of the children, who are taken by their parents to nursery school or kindergarten. They are the ones who don't care about the early date because they are always full of cheer and energy. Carefree teenagers who continue their journey to school together after meeting, not caring that they will be late if they don't hurry. Looking at this alone, the world almost seems like a good place. But I know I can't pretend that 'bad' doesn't exist. That would be self-deception.

But still... Despite all the disgusting and bad things, I do think the world is a beautiful place. I would like to live like this. Just to bask in the sun, like a lizard on the river bank. One day would follow the other and all would be equally happy. I would always smile and Rhys would be by my side. Always, always, always... My heart ached as I imagined it. Because it was so fairytale-like and unattainable. It seems so impossible to achieve.

I sighed dejectedly and took my cello out of its case. There are few people around and I'm sure they don't mind me playing a little. I took the drawing bow and started playing. A sweet melancholic melody rang out. It was sad and yet not sad at the same time. There was something beyond the sorrow in it that did not make it sound painful. Hope. Hope that one day it will end, we will get over it and it will be better. Just don't let it be false hope, please!

It was a short piece and as I finished it I noticed I had a new message. It was Rhys. He asked me where I was because he was close to the university and if I had time we could meet up because there was something he wanted to talk about.

It's always so scary when people want to talk about something. It's so ominous. It gives people a bad feeling and I was afraid as well but I told him where I was and that I would wait for him.

I continued to observe the people and the scenery and after about 10 minutes he arrived. He was out of breath and despite the cold weather he was sweating. His dark hair was a mess and seemed burdened with worries, yet his eyes lit up when our gaze met.

„You shouldn't have been in such a hurry, I would have waited for you anyway." I told him while trying to fix his hair.

„I didn't want to keep you waiting." He took my hand and led me back to the bench where I was sitting before he came. He didn't let go even after we sat down and faced each other. He looked very serious and I felt my stomach sank. „There is something I've been trying to say for a while, I just didn't know when would be the time right."

„Yes? What is it?" I tried to look into his eyes but he avoided my gaze.

„I requested that they take Seth's case off me and they agreed. I told them that I could not be impartial due to personal involvement, so it wouldn't be right for me to continue the case."

He was ready to look at me, but this time I was the one looking down. I was afraid of what he would see on my face. I felt a myriad of emotions. I was happy that he would do this for me, but on the other hand, I felt bad that I had affected his work. I felt flattered that I was important enough to make that decision, but I never wanted him to make sacrifices for me. And I felt doubt. Did he make this decision because he was thinking of me, or was he afraid that if he continued to investigate, he would find something incriminating?

„I see." I didn't look up. „Are you sure you won't regret it? I don't want to..." He hooked his index finger under my chin to lift it and I shut up as our eyes met.

„I made this decision for both of us. Okay, maybe it was more because of me." He admitted it and he really didn't seem regretful, so I felt relieved. „And it didn't feel right to meet with your mother while I was still working on your case. I wanted us to face each other as two people and not as the detective and grieving family or a suspect." He suddenly became tense and I looked at him questioningly. „I talked to my mom about this lunch and she said that this saturday would be perfect for her and my sister." But why does this make you so nervous? „What about you? Is the time right for you too?" His voice was hopeful. But was he hoping I would accept or reject him?

I thought things through quickly. Ailish and I obviously have time, but Mother. Her schedule is pretty tight, but she just manages to get away somehow.

„Yes, it works for us too." I finally answered, and there was a minute of silence.

„Great." He said then, but his voice spoke differently.

Did he change his mind? Does he no longer want me to know his family or is it something else? What could cause him so much concern? He didn't seem to want to talk about it, so I didn't force it. Rather, I changed the subject and steered the conversation towards more pleasant things until I had to go to my first class.