Chapter 16: The Decisions we have to live with 1/2

Fairy tail is owned by Hiro Mashima, Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo. I own nothing.

A special thank you to Greatkingrat88 for writing this.

You know that update once a month rule?...Yeah, just this once, I'm gonna say fuck it and give you, my fans, another chapter for june. This chapter is shorter than the previous two, but that said, I'm sure that you'll all enjoy what I have in store for you today.

Please feel free to leave a review, its HIGHLY appreciated.

A month or so later, things had stabilized rather well. Nozomi was in school, Erza kept up with her friends, and she was… actually dealing with her past traumas rather well. If she could ignore that the likes of Kurotsuchi Mayuri were in a position of power, she would have been completely content. Happy. But she was well enough, and on her way to the goal she had set for herself- yes, life was not so bad.

Right now, she was out in the Rukongai once more, called out by her captain. If he himself were out there, summoning her, it had to be a serious mission, right? Only, he hadn't said what it was. It was… an oddity.

When she came upon the designated meeting spot- a beautiful forest, with a small dirt path leading into a leafy grove- she saw Ichimaru Gin standing there, waiting, with the same creepy smile. She felt a shudder go down her spine. He unsettled her- her, and everyone else, and she often wondered why Aizen would keep a man like him so close to her.

"Head right this way, lil' Erza," Ichimaru said, in his typical drawl, "he's waitin' for ya, right up the path."

Eager to be away from him, Erza walked past him, up the path he had indicated. This was definitely irregular. Few missions called for the supreme power of a captain to begin with; fewer still the presence of both the captain and his second. And his third seat too, herself? Why weren't they meeting up together?

In just a minute or so, she found him, sitting cross-legged by a pond, a peaceful look on his face. He wore no glasses, she noticed; he seemed different.

"Come, sit." He said, motioning for her to come closer.

"This isn't a mission at all, is it?" Erza said confusedly, obeying her captain, walking closer. Hesitantly, she sat down next to him.

"You always were astute." He said, casually leaning himself back, his arms supporting him as he stared up at the forest canopy. "This is a beautiful place, isn't it? Sometimes you have to stop to appreciate things like these, to remember that there's more point to your life than just duty, work…"

"Sir?" She said stiffly. She was not artistic, or a gentleman type like her captain- the beauty of nature was wasted on her most of the time.

"Sorry, I deceived you," Aizen said, sitting himself up straight. "No, there is no mission at all. I lied. But I had a reason, yes?"

"You must have." Erza said.

"But you're not asking what. No, you never were rude- not the kind to bow to authority easily, but not rude. Because I earned my place in your mind as somebody to respect, you won't ask. Is that correct?"

"…I suppose so, yes." He was quite strange today.

"Erza, do you trust me?" He said, looking into her eyes.

"With my life, captain," She said firmly.

"It is an honour." Aizen said, nodding. "But the question is… Erza, can I trust you?"

"Sir?" Erza said, frowning.

"I have important things to say. Things I couldn't say to even the dearest of friends, or even a lover. Dangerous things."

"How dangerous?"

"What I need to say, Erza, could get you implicated for treason simply for having heard the words. So what I ask is- can I trust you? With the most serious and deeply held of secrets?"

"…I, sir…" Erza said, finding herself uneasy, confused. What was he about to say? What was his idea?

"Of course you can trust me."

"Under threat to your wellbeing, your career, even your life?"

"Yes!" Erza said, making a fist. "You are a good man- I cannot imagine you would do anything without a good reason."

Aizen smiled. "You sound almost hurt, Scarlet."

Erza didn't reply, not knowing what to say, and simply shot him a look- one, she realized, might look like a glare.

"Under any normal circumstance, I would not question your loyalty. But this… is different."

"Tell me what you mean, sir," Erza said, with steel in her voice, "tell me, and then, no matter what, I will not betray your secret." He looked hesitant, and Erza continued, "you already do trust me. You brought me out here, to tell me you have an idea that could make you a traitor. So do not play games with me! Sir."

Aizen nodded. "The 'games' are… necessary. So far, there are a total of only two more individuals who know of my plans."

"What are your plans, then?"

"Tell me, Scarlet," he said, looking into the distance, "you saw through it, didn't you?"

"Saw through what?"

"The veil." He said quietly. Seeing her puzzled expression, he explained, "It's a metaphor I use. The 'veil' is what I call everything that keeps you from seeing the truth and acting on it- your friends, your family, your job, your culture…"

"I don't understand."

"All right. You came from a poor village in the Rukongai, yes? And you joined, partly because you wanted them to have a better life. You wanted to help them."

"Yes."

"Many shinigami do that. And most of them forget about making the world a better place by the time they've graduated and gotten a position. From there, their focus is… their career, their duties, their friends. Their focus is, simply put, themselves."

"What- is that just selfish?" Erza asked, frowning.

"It's human nature." Aizen retorted. "But you've seen the Rukongai. You've seen the poverty, the misery, the insecurity. You've seen people at the mercy of bandits, hollows, always afraid of starving, being killed, hunted like dogs… that is no decent way to live."

"No, it is not," Erza said, shaking her head.

"The Gotei has power. Real power, unimaginable vast power. It could change all the Rukon, if it wanted to. Yes?"

"I suppose they could." Erza said. She was very unsure of where this was going. All he said, that was things she knew, things she had often thought- but rarely voiced; nobody seemed interested.

"Yet, they do not. Why is that?"

"The Gotei has a duty to maintain the balance of the world," Erza said defensively, "it's a vastly important duty. Without us, all three worlds might collapse."

"Literally true, yes," Aizen said, nodding, "but you know as well as I do that the issue is not that simple."

Erza remained silent, so Aizen continued. "We recruit a few hundred souls every year, to replace casualties. That's a few hundred, out of billions of souls- out of hundreds of millions of potential soldiers. Yet the Gotei remains at a few thousand soldiers, just enough to keep military operations running. Enough to keep up the status quo."

"But-" Erza said, not even knowing why she was defending them, what she was defending.

"Can't you imagine what it would be like if instead of kowtowing to nobles and running a never-ending balance operation, we'd recruit millions of soldiers. Imagine how many areas we could control. Imagine how many countries would have competent governors, a police force, a law to protect the weak from the strong and ruthless. Imagine a world, not perfect, but one where violence was considered unacceptable, where theft, murder and robbery are punished, where hollows are not free to strike as they please. Imagine that, Erza."

"Well…"

"Please, I mean that literally. Close your eyes, and imagine what it would be like if the Soul Society looked not like it does now, but like it should."

He paused, and looked at her, and hesitantly Erza obeyed. She closed her eyes, and imagine. Villages, with children playing, laughing, never hungry, feeling safe… thousands of people, living their lives without fear. It was an intoxicating thing to consider.

"I asked you this, because I saw that you dared to dream," Aizen said emphatically, "I saw that you were different. You saw the apathy of your fellow soldiers, and it appalled you. Unimaginable suffering, every day, and everyone acts like it doesn't even exist. They take their privilege for granted, their secure lives, their power and strength, and never consider that those with power have a moral obligation to help."

Something in Erza's soul was lit aflame. He was right! For how long had it gone on, this afterlife, without anyone even trying? Where children died for nothing, without anybody being able to do anything about it?"

"Every day," Aizen said, his voice trembling mildly, "every day, an average of four thousand children die. Every day. And that is just the children. How many do you think die in just one week?"

"But… what could we do?"

"Apathy is one thing. It is natural, normal- people have limited perspectives. It's not malevolent to be self-centred. But… you know the Gotei. You know that it isn't just apathetic, but truly corrupt."

"Yes." Erza whispered.

"You remember your trial." Aizen said, nodding. "A petty, ignorant man with money used his power to abuse the school system. And when you dared stand up to him, he decided that you should vanish. You were not the first one. How many times do you think men and women like him have abused their power like so?"

"I won." Erza said, almost voicelessly.

"Because of me." Aizen said. "And because of Shiba. You won because you had higher connections, not because you were right."

He was right.

"The second division runs a place where they can place anybody, without trial, whether they've done anything or not." Aizen said. "The maggot's nest. Just being a potential threat is enough. That's where you would have gone- if you were lucky."

Erza balled her fist.

"It's a whole… thing!" She snapped. "A law system, troops, a whole culture. What can I do? What can anyone do?!"

"We'll get there," Aizen said, nodding. "But you recognize that the Gotei is not a just place, yes?"

"No, it is not," Erza said, shaking her head. "I tried to think… that maybe we just do more good than bad. That working hard can make up for it."

"But deep down, you know that is little comfort for the innocents murdered by this system," Aizen said, putting a hand on her back, "you knew it wasn't right."

Erza just quietly shook her head.

"And meanwhile, the Gotei employs true monsters, like Kurotsuchi Mayuri. Powerful murderers, like Zaraki Kenpachi, whose only qualification is strength. These are the people you serve."

"Enough!" Erza snapped. "Stop! I know already! Just tell me what you want!"

"Please be patient with me," Aizen said, his voice calm, "I have something I'd like for you to look at." He reached into his coat, and pulled out a paper folder.

"What's this?" Erza asked, taking it in her hands.

"A copy of your recruitment file," Aizen said. "These are confidential to recruits, but we are well past regulation now, aren't we?"

With a little dread, Erza opened the file. It was a detailed set of observations, about her power, her ability, her personality. She had been watched for some time before being recruited, it seemed.

"Look at the bottom." Aizen said.

Erza read aloud. "Subject is very powerful, by non-shinigami standards. Known also to be resourceful, enduring, with experience in combat. In case of failed recruitment, recommend a kill team led by a single digit seat to eliminate her with minimal risk." Her fingers trembled.

"You see for yourself." Aizen said.

"They were going to kill me if I said no." Erza said quietly.

"You always suspected, didn't you? You always feared that- that they'd kill you, or somebody close to you, if you disagreed. But you told yourself that it would be for the best."

Erza made a fist, crumpling the paper. "Do they do this to other people?" She asked, her voice almost a hiss.

"Yes." Aizen said plainly. "Anyone thought too strong not to be useful, controllable, is eliminated. It is standard procedure."

"It can't be," Erza mumbled, shaking her head, "they can't just…"

"I know why you deny it," Aizen said calmly. "because if you don't, you'd have to admit to yourself that all your service so far, everything you've done, is at the very least tainted by corruption."

"If that is so, then where are you, captain?" Erza said bitterly. "You are one of the most powerful people- so how much 'taint' have you spread? How many blind eyes have you turned?"

A mournful look passed his face, and he said, "Too much. Too many times. But there's the twist- it doesn't have to be this way. Everything I've done, I've done for a better tomorrow. Not some naïve dream that just a bit of hard work and goodness will change the system- a real vision for the future. I have been part of this corruption, let it spread, ignored justice- but I've done it all for a greater good."

"What greater good is that?"

"When I was young," Aizen said, ignoring her question, "I was a lot like you. I believed in kindness, in goodness, that the shinigami were heroic protectors. That the foul things around them were necessary, because of what hung in the balance. It was one of the reasons I joined them. But I was disappointed soon- very disappointed. All my talent, so soon and quickly recognized, was leeched on by this… system of cruelty and callousness. It is a cancer- the whole of the Gotei is a cancer. I realized that soon. And when I did… I decided that I'd rather die than let that stand."

"What does that mean? I want an answer now, sir, or I am leaving." Erza said sharply, only barely controlling her emotions. Everything he had said had hit home, hit at every doubt she'd had, every last piece of things she knew should not be, but ignored, for the sake of this 'veil'.

"I want to burn the Gotei down." Aizen said. "I want to see every nobleman on trial, and the corrupt ones punished- executed or imprisoned. I would see all their wealth given to us, so that we could give it back to the people. I would see the Central Forty-Six deposed, power given back to somebody whose interest lies with the people, not wealth, power, or some abstract idea. I would see the captain-commander, and all who stand with him, stand trial for their corruption. I would see myself in charge of a new world order, one where we become strong, truly strong, not for the sake of ourselves, tradition or blind obedience to the King, but for the sake of protecting the weak. That, Erza, is my vision for the future. Justice. Strength. Mercy. Solidarity."

"It's treason!" Erza snapped.

"That word, 'treason', is a label." Aizen said firmly. "You would be a traitor to the Gotei- but where you stand now, are you not a traitor to yourself? Are you not betraying what you know is right?"

Erza took a deep breath. He was right. But this was a monstrously huge idea, a change so radical she hadn't dared to even dream it. It was… impossible.

"It can't be," she mumbled, shaking her heads, "they are too strong- too many. The captain-commander…"

"Erza," He said, with a comforting tone, putting a hand on her shoulder, "I would never attempt this if I did not know a way to make it work. The captain-commander's power is extraordinary- but I have made arrangements. I have Ichimaru, and I have Tosen. And, should you accept, you. This is a patient scheme- I have nurtured it for centuries. I have found a way to deal with everyone I need to."

"…would they need to die?" Erza asked uncertainly.

"No revolution is won without bloodshed, Erza," Aizen said gravely. "I would show mercy to those who surrendered- few of them had a choice when they were exposed to Gotei propaganda. But those who do not… I would have no choice but to tear down the foundations of the Gotei before rebuilding it."

"And how? Four of us- that would not go very far."

"What do you know of the arrancar, Erza?"

"They are hollows who have shed their masks and gained the power of a shinigami- no!" Erza gasped. "You have made a pact with them?"

"You would be surprised how many of them are like us, but shaped by an unforgiving world, in an existence without options. I have relations with them- only with select people who I know I can control."

"This… this is madness…" Erza mumbled. "Death, revolution, consorting with hollow?"

"When you are faced with a life-and-death situation, you do whatever you must to protect your friends," Aizen said calmly, "and to protect the innocent- the thousands upon thousands who suffer and die every day- I do as I must. Can you look upon this, and choose to serve the Gotei? To serve for the rest of your life this corrupt institution?"

"I- I don't know," Erza mumbled, "can I- can I think about this?"

"Take the time you need," Aizen said, smiling at her, "it is not a decision that should be made lightly. But I know you, Erza- I know you see why this must be done."

"Change," Erza mumbled. "We need change. But… is this the way, really?"

"I would like to see you in a week's time, Erza," Aizen said calmly. "Please give me your decision then. If you say no, then we shall speak nothing of this ever again, and your life goes on the same- you go on bending your back to those you know you should smite, not serve. Or you join me, and make a change that matters- one that will be remembered for eternity."

Erza just nodded, incapable of a coherent reply, and stood up, hastily making her way out of there.

Aizen watched her leave, allowing himself a victorious smirk. He had pushed every button there was to push- ones he had planted himself, others that were there naturally. Erza was a perfect candidate- Tosen claimed to be for justice, but Aizen had always suspected he was a hypocrite. Ichimaru was a psychopathic sadist with an urge to kill him, but very easy to control at that. Erza was different; she had what neither did- faith. A rock hard faith that good was good and evil was evil, that decency should prevail over cruelty and abuse. Right now, she was conflicted, still feeling that decency belonged with the cause she had sworn herself to- but she knew, and she was too upright to ignore what she had seen so far. Her own decency could lead her nowhere but to his side- and on the off chance that it didn't, it would be easy to frame her as a traitor. Things were coming along nicely.

"We 'bout done here?" It was the voice of Ichimaru, waiting out by the trees.

"Yes, Gin," Aizen said, feeling pleased, "we are done."

A lot was on her mind; she had no sleep that night, nor the next one after that- Erza went about her duties as normal, but the conversation she had had with her captain hung over everything she did, over every paper signed, every errand run, every hollow slain. Over and over, she would tell herself that it was madness, that it couldn't be done, that it was wrong… but no matter how she reasoned, every argument she made to herself felt like an excuse.

It was a stunning relief, actually, when on the third day, she was sent out on a mission to the Rukongai. Simple work- second division had sniffed out a traitor, a man who had escaped a sentence of murder and theft, and hid away for decades. Finally he had made a mistake, letting himself get spotted, and it was her job to take him down, let him be processed by the justice system. If it were justice...

She should take somebody with her, she decided. Even with a serious task on her mind, she had no desire to be alone- the more distractions, the better. A week would pass fast enough. After checking for available partners, her eyes stuck on Momo- Renji was out on patrol with Hisagi, and Kira was stuck with menial duties. Well, might as well take her, then- it would be a good experience for her, and not too dangerous so long as she stayed back. She was not a hothead like Renji; it should be fine.

So it was that, with Momo in tow, she soon found herself on the trail to district seven, where the man had last been seen- Kujira Sengi, the murderer and traitor, a truly vile man according to his case file. No more than a tenth seat in terms of strength and skill, too. That, at least, was a very clear and simple thing- a bad man who needed to be taken down and judged, for the safety of others.

After a good few hours of travel, with a few carefully considered bursts of shunpo to quickly cover ground, they approached the village where Sengi had last been seen. According to intelligence, which was no more than two days old, he had set up camp in a sizeable village right ahead, drinking away at a bar- where apparently he had been since.

"Sens- I mean Erza, won't it be dangerous?" Momo asked, huffing a little as she did her best to keep stride with Erza; the last sprint had taken a lot out of her. She was still young, Erza noticed, even though she sometimes forgot.

"It will be fine." Erza said dismissively. "You just watch, and stay back when I move in. If I need backup, I will let you know."

"It's, uh, a bit… nervous." Momo admitted. "I mean, I've never…"

"Momo," Erza said, stopping and looking her in the eye, "you are a shinigami now, not a student. These kinds of missions are things you will need to do in the future. This will be good experience for you."

"Of-of course," Momo said, nodding. "I didn't mean to, um-"

"No need to fuss," Erza said, starting to walk again. "Our target is said to be in the local pub. If he's not, we can probably pay for information- this is a pretty orderly district, and types like him aren't welcome here."

Because a lot of rich people live here, Erza thought, and that's also why we got sent here so quickly.

No. None of that, not now.

The two of them quietly made their way into the town pub- well, the largest one; this village was large and rich with people, unlike the ones you found out in the poorer districts. It was as good a place as any. As she walked in, she motioned for Momo to stay by the doorway while she went about her business. She looked around- the place was well lit, and looked clean and solidly built. There were tables and benches all around, and even a few luxurious booths, and though the air was thick with chatter, laughter and merriment, there were no fights, no screaming, no rough-housing… this really was a different kind of place. In no small part, she suspected, due to the two very serious-looking, muscular men standing near the doorway, whose frames practically screamed confidence- if their posture could speak, it would probably say 'there could be trouble. None right now, and there won't be, because we're all friends here. But if you want trouble… no, you don't want trouble'.

But Erza wasn't concerned with the architecture of the building, or its security detail- no, she had come here with a mission. She took a quick peek at the wanted poster she had been given- a harsh, long face with a thin mouth, and a scar at his left cheek. She looked around, as inconspicuously as she could- she was painfully aware of how much her shinigami uniform stood out. Moving slowly towards the bar itself, she tried to get a view of him- there were merchants, some rich gentlemen, even a few nobles, and a good lot of people who looked like craftsmen, workers… there was a whole potpourri of different social classes here, but she couldn't see the likeness of that criminal anywhere. Sighing, she ordered a simple drink of water, and had a look around. There was over a hundred people in here, and…

Well, hang on a second. Where would you sit if you were a cautious type, somebody who might need to run away quickly? Either close to the entrance- or better yet, close to the back exit. Carefully taking a bit of a walk around the premises, ignoring a catcall or two, she could see no back entrance at all- so if you were inside this pub, you'd want to either sit close to a big window, or the entrance. She turned back toward the entrance, and carefully scanned the place with her eyes. Seven tables she could see, close enough to a quick exit. She walked closer, keeping an eye out- some sat turned away from her, or with a cap on, or a hood…

Then she caught it, a glance of a scarred face, sitting just two tables away from the exit. Hoping she hadn't flinched, she moved closer, as if walking over just naturally. But as she walked closer, he sprung from his seat, toward the exit. Damn it! Her uniform was way too obvious- he had probably been looking for a way out from the moment she got in.

"There he is!" She cried out, as she ran after him. Momo stepped in his way- stupid, brave Momo- pointing her finger, starting to mouth a kido spell… but he was fast, too fast, and barreled into her, twisting Momo's arm behind her back, getting behind her. From his belt, he pulled out a short sword, concealed under his clothes. Momo yelped, struggling against him- but she stopped when she felt the blade against her throat.

Erza had already drawn her own sword, the moment she had seen him reach for his own.