S1E2: What is This Mess? (Part 1)

I blinked several times, and stretching my muscle. "What time is it?" I picked my phone. and sighed,

I leaned on my chair and covered my mouth.

*knock... knock...

"Come in!" I straight up my body, then cleaning up my desk.

She comes in with and looked at me. "You're a morning person, I guess?" I hummed. She looks beautiful today. Hush! She waits you, Lobak. Don't fall for her!

I stood up, and we walking through the dining room. It's a bit awkward in the first day, but... I don't feel it anymore.

I sat on the barstool and she gave me a plate of salad. Where's the meat!? "Umm... I'm also a carnivore. Can you add some chicken please?" She gave me some boiled chicken.

She pours me an orange juice and put my pills next to the glass. "Dr. Sarah said... your condition was concerning. You still young!" She tries to open a conversation. I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Depression, I guess?" She put a bowl of chicken broth next to me. The smells made me to have some more. "Where's my cat?" I'm looking at my surrounding.

"All of them inside their cage." She said as I put my spoon on the side of the plate. "You seems like tortured by the menu." I want my bacon and sunny egg.

I scoffed and sighed. "you right. I tortured by the menu this morning, but... it's delicious." I'm not joking.

I heard someone knocking on my door. "Let me.."

"Don't need to. Sarah hired you to take care of me, besides, you're not my household." I walked to the door and take a peek at the intercom. I saw my parents stood up in front of the door. Where they knew my house?!

Ugh... I don't want to meet them again. "Are you okay?" I jolted as she touched my shoulder. Shit.

"Nothing... they just a prankster." I'm walking to the kitchen and continues my breakfast. I devouring my meal until the plate was clean. I like the boiled chicken and the broth. Why is it so difficult to give her a bad critique!?

"Do you like the food?" She asked.

I sighed. I'll let it slide. I drink my medicines and chug a glass of mineral water first. "Thanks for the meal."

I fold my fork and put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. I'm looking at her from head to toe. I admit she's beautiful. "Is there's something wrong with me?" She raised her eyebrow.

I shook my head and exhale. We sat in the living room, while waiting for me to say something. This is awkward. I can critique everyone without thinking twice, but her? What's going on with me?!

"Are you alright?" She asked as she raised her eyebrow. She puts a glass of orange juice earlier in front of me. "About today's menu. if you..."

"No, it's fine. I like it." Don't over thinking it, Lobak. Focus on get rid of her.

I chugged the orange juice. It's refreshing and fresh. Haaa... it's difficult. "Do you need something else?" I shook my head.

I hold her hand. Her hand was too soft and...

"Umm..." why I feel something wrong with me?! I let go of her hand. What's wrong with me!?

"Sorry." I said. She nodding her head and walked to the kitchen to do the dishes.

"Let's we discuss what you like, and what you don't." I want to reply, but she immediately cut my word. "Beside alcohol and fried chicken," a grimace drawn on my face.

"Let's we start from the allergies, shall we?" She's walking approached me with a jar of cookies in her hand.

I opened a jar of a cookie, and place it in the middle. "I have dust, cold, and peanuts allergies. Do you have one?"

She's nodding her head. "Cat's fur." I'm nodding my head. "This cookie was... homemade?"

I'm nodding my head and sighed. "Do you want the recipe? I can give you." She shook her head.

"I prefer made it with my own ingredients," independent, creative, and my type. Shit. Why she did say that!? Fuck, I should get rid of her as fast as I could. It's impossible for her to like me. She's straight.

"Are you..." she's looking at me, "...feeling discomfort about living with me?" She's furrowed her brow. "I-I mean... I'm a lesbian. Sometimes... people can be irritated if they... around me." Stop making a Tinder profile, Lobak. She's not interested having a relationship with you!

I took a deep breath as she keeps munching the cookies. You like it, aren't you?

"I've been living overseas and taking care of an old lesbian couple before you," ah... interesting. I picked my phone to check a time. Well, it's time to take a bath and go to work.

She closed the jar. "Are you going somewhere?" I nod. Did she already tell you who am I?

"Yes. I... should have attend an event." I said. She holds my arm. Okay, don't too excited, maybe she needs something. I'm looking at my back and our eyes met for the second time.

By that innocent brown eyes, she can make me go through what she's hiding behind it. Her gaze bewitched me. Wiped all the bad memories I've been through for the moment. "Don't go home too late."

I unconsciously nodding my head. Shit. I let go of my hand and running to my room.

I slammed the door and locked myself inside. Oh, God. What the fuck is that?! I put my hand on my chest.

Why is my heart beating like this?! No way! It's impossible! I barely know her! What the fuck is wrong with me!? I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and exhale.

6 months was a long way to go. You should get rid of her as fast as you can. I walked to my desk, looking at the frame and picked it. What are you doing now?

People might be have a reason not to let go someone else. People can get hurt sometimes, but... why she left me? Why did she do this to me? I want to fight for her, but why she didn't want to fight for me? I wiped my tears and sighed.

Now, I am successful. Will she comes back? I lean my back and closed my eyes.

Don't disappoint your fans. You still have them. I walked to the bathroom to start a day.

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I closed the book as I heard clapping hands in the background.

I stepped down to the podium, then approach my editor. "I want to take a break for a minute," I patted his shoulder and walks to the backstage.

"Freyja!" Yep. VIP guest. We approached them, and they seem joyful to meet me. They handing me a book and I signed them all. "Can we take a photo?" Oh, come on girls! I need a rest.

I smiled to hide my pain and took their phone. We took a group photo with me in the middle.

I'm not good at taking a picture on this angle. I tried to adjust the camera. "Smile to the camera." They start posing, while I gave them a grimace, "3...2... say cheese!"

"Cheese!" We said in sync. I touched the middle button.

Finally, it's done! I returned her phone and waiting her to check on her phone. Girls will complain a single thing like 'I'm looking fat in that picture, let's retake,' or 'I'm not looking good.'

My schedule tight, my moral is loo, and I need rest. One of my books got hit so fast. I tried to catch up with updates and event schedule.

Haaa... I wish I have someone like Rose. Who was willing take care of me. They bowed their head and leave. Thank God, finally I can rest.

In all events I taking rest on the trailer that they parked outside. I saw Henry waiting for me inside. Henry is my manager and editor in one package. He's nice and um... good looking.

A lot of my fans thought we're dating. It has become a hot topic worldwide overnight. Since I declared my sexuality last year, the rumor has stopped. "Something bother you?" he asked. "Oh... your... nanny? Called the official to changed your menu today, so... no chicken and beer."

As I expect. She will controlled what I eat and drink for the next 6 months. "She..." he raised his eyebrow.

I looked at this green transparent bowl. "No chicken for today?!" I'm craving for fried chicken and coke today. He knows about my medical condition and all my secrets.

"You have to tell me who the hell is Rose? Your new girlfriend?" He raised his eyebrow.

I took a deep breath and sighed. "She's not my girlfriend." I answer.

I'm in the stage of depression. Some people will taking their own life, as if they can't bear it anymore. Beside of the broken heart, I have family issues. Every people in their houses, poor or rich, they will face the same problem everyday.

I dealt my problem with harmed myself.

I know it's wrong, but... I don't have someone to talked to. Let my guard down.

I sat on the couch sighed, then eat my salad. "Oh, right." I'm looking at Henry. "Your mom called me several minutes ago. It's better you meet them, then talk." He's got the point thought.

I'm not come clean to them, so maybe they keep coming. I keep sending them money because of COVID-19 fucked everyone's economy. Wall Street crashed, lot of expenses should be paid, no project available because of restriction, and even you should get vaccinated before get out of the town.

I took a deep breath and sighed. God give me strength, when another people can't through this. I head a loud bang from the outside of the trailer door. Alright, that's my cue to continue my job.