Sound decisions
After a surprisingly silent dinner, we lie in bed.
I lie in bed, actually. Ignis sits on the right and stares at the wall for a while.
It's as if I cursed him. Or gave him too much to think about.
«Can you sleep here?» I inquire.
Most probably, that's the matter. Ignis is tired but can't fight against insomnia.
«No, I can't. I'll sleep when we reach home; it's not that far from here.»
We might stay here a couple of days before departing since we're waiting for Aida and Tobin. Ignis can't think of staying awake for so long.
«We already are in Narith. This is my place: I can send a message to father and have him send guards to us.»
«No, wait a little more...» he sighs.
«Then, we will take turns sleeping.»
I don't need to sleep this often either. Also, we'll stay here and do nothing. We would be stupid not to take such a chance.
«It won't cost me anything,» I add.
I smile, trying to convince him.
«Then, I will sleep tomorrow,» he sighs. «Now, you rest. You're exhausted.»
«It's not that bad!»
«You can't keep your eyes open!»
«I can!»
«You can?» he chuckles. He lies next to me, over the blanket, and he pecks my nose. «Don't lie to me, Veronica.»
«I'm not lying,» I pout.
His laughter becomes louder and more gratified, making me wonder what is so funny.
I kick off the blanket and try to cover us both, failing because of Ignis's weight.
«Can you move a little bit?» I inquire, pulling the cover from under his torso.
«What are you trying to do?»
«Settle more comfortably. But with you there, it's impossible.»
I don't know what I want to do, please don't ask.
I just wanted to cover him. I don't know why since it's hot tonight as well. It was out of some instinct.
I sigh again.
I'm turning into a weird person.
«Hey, what's up now?» he murmurs while rolling to the side and accepting to cuddle with me. «You will sleep now, and I'll sleep in the morning.»
«All right.»
He pecks my cheek and leans his head on the pillow. Too bad that I'm now awake and kicking.
Turning to the side, I deeply consider all my options, weighing the pros and cons. I think about it with utter attention, and then I make a sound decision.
I bend forward and kiss Ignis. I just lean my lips on his and then move back to check his expression.
This is enough for a signal, right? But, firstly, is it not wrong for a wife to do something like this?
Do I have the right to kiss my husband? I haven't asked this ever because I wasn't interested before. I'll talk about this with my mother when I reach home.
All the bridal lessons I received till now, even though very rare, implied that a proper wife doesn't attack her husband out of the blue. It's not clear whether I can initiate a kiss or not.
I close my eyes and pray that he won't think badly about me after this.
When his hands reach my waist and pull me closer, I open my eyes again. I split my lips to receive the hot, burning kiss, and I surround his neck with my arms.
My throat trembles in a moan when his knee crawls in between my legs. This is definitely more than a kiss, now. I can risk moving my hands as well, right?
«Ignis,» I say, splitting just for a moment. «The dress is in the way...»
His leg is tearing it, and the fabric annoys me where it's tight.
«Should we get rid of it?» he murmurs, but he retreats his leg and pulls the skirt up before putting the leg back in between mine.
Oh, better.
«Sorry,» I whisper.
«For what?»
«For being annoying,» I say. Because I complain about everything.
«You're not annoying,» he replies, confused. «Why so?»
I shrug, unable to word my concerns.
I can't ask him to continue, can I? And Ignis doesn't seem willing to forget my words just like that. He's staring too intensely for someone on the verge to make love.
I bite my lips not to lick them to collect the traces of Ignis's taste.
«Are you nervous?» he inquires, still confused.
«I am fine.»
«Then, can I kiss you again?»
I nod, and he finally lets our lips meet. His tongue splits my teeth and finds mine, caressing it in an invite to reciprocate.
Ignis pulls me even closer, and I bend my knee to lock my free leg around his. His hand touches my thigh, now reachable, and his fingers trail up.
The point of contact is hot, and his caress makes me shiver. When he's somewhere midway, he leans his palm as well, making me sigh. It's even more burning, like this. And it's just a caress.
Ignis reaches the rim of the skirt and lifts it again. Since I don't say anything, he continues to move it up.
He even opens his eyes to check my face, and he interrupts the kiss for a long moment. I look back at him and wait for his decision.
When he smirks, my heart skips a bit. The fabric has already uncovered the underwear and is on its way to the waist.
If I want to stop, now it's the last moment to decide. Yet, I can't find any reason to.
Mostly because I really want this. I want to make love with Ignis, to feel his hands on me. I want to be one with him, even if it means feeling pain or losing the chance to annul the wedding.