46 No name, no title
I take Ignis's head in my hands, and I make him move it away from my legs. Then, I slip down on the floor.
It's dirty, but I don't care. Rather I can't afford to think about it now.
I need to be direct and to be understood. Also, it's better if we can look each other in the eye.
«What are you doing?» Ignis asks, seeing that I'm sitting next to him.
«I want to talk,» I explain.
«About what?»
«About us. You keep talking about your name or title as if it was relevant. But it's not. I don't care about it because, for me, you're Ignis. I like you for how you are, to me and in general. And what makes me feel so cherished every time you kiss me is that it's you, Ignis, and not Ignatius, the second son of a Count. Even if it were a peasant, it would be the same.»
«You... Are you sure?» he murmurs. «It's easy to say it now, but what if you change your mind? What if you regret it later?»
«I won't regret it, Ignis.»
«You can't know what can happen in the future!»
«I can't, that's true. But I know how I feel at this very moment.»
I grab his hand and squeeze it like a desperate.
«I know how important it is to me that you're the one next to me. I want to stay married to you. For life. And I want to... I want to make love, too. Only if you agree, of course.»
«You shouldn't make hasty decisions, Veronica. We don't know each other all that well, do we?»
«I know enough to decide.»
He doesn't seem convinced yet.
«Ignis, I want you!» I say. «And I'm talking about you as you're now, here. In front of me, sitting on a floor and forcing me to confess to you in any way that comes to mind. I don't care about your surname, Ignis. Nor about your job. I only care about you.»
«You can't imagine how much this means to me,» he sighs.
«I'd prefer to hear that you didn't marry me just because I'm Duke Bursio's daughter,» I point out.
«It just happened to be the case,» he chuckles. «I like you for who you are, too.»
«So, we're the same,» I murmur with a shrug.
«But... Are you sure about your words? Won't you regret it later?»
«Regret? What could I regret, Ignis? I'm not doing anything wrong here!»
«You're right,» he sighs. «We're not on the wrong side. Still, I think we should wait...»
«Wait for what? I can't be more sure than this.»
«Don't tease my patience, Veronica. I am not that harmless, you know...»
«Just one thing!»
«What?»
«If I do something you don't like, don't abandon me without a word!»
«I would never do that.»
«No?» I scoff, glaring at him.
«Yesterday, it was something else. I needed to chill down before doing something unforgivable.»
«But now that you know that I agree, you won't need to stop anymore, right?»
«Right,» he sighs. Somehow, he's not convinced yet.
«Just promise me one thing. You will tell me when I do wrong.»
«You can't do wrong, Veronica. There are no rules to follow. Feel free to follow your instinct.»
«Isn't it awkward if I do?»
«Till now, it was... Interesting?»
«So, will you tell me?»
«Of course, I will. You, too. You need to stop me if you change your mind. And you can tell me when you're not fine with something. Especially if it's painful or you don't like it. All right?»
I nod, all happy to have finally cleared up a big misunderstanding.
«So, we're good,» Ignis says. «You don't have anything else to say.»
«Nothing urgent,» I purr, leaning my head on his shoulder. I hug him tightly and close my eyes, inhaling his scent after so much time.
It's been a few hours, but I've already missed it.
«We can sit on the bed now,» he points out.
I weaken my clench just enough to get up and move on the mattress.
«Let's go to sleep.»
«Sleep?» I murmur, displeased. We just reached an agreement, for goodness. Are we really going to do nothing now?
«You're tired.»
«So what? I'll sleep later.»
«You!» he moans, pecking the top of my head. «Do you want me to die young?»
«Don't hold back, my dear husband. Your wife is insisting: shouldn't you give in already?»
«Don't be like this. It's playing foul.»
«Why are you even fighting it? Let's just listen to the needs of our bodies, Ignis. Don't you like me a little bit? I like you so much, yet you're capable of rejecting me this easily...»
«That's not the case.»
«Is that so?»
«I like you so much, Veronica. But that doesn't mean I can assault you just like that.»
«Oh, please,» I moan, rolling my eyes. As if I minded any of his assaults.
«If you continue teasing me like this, I might really fulfil your request and show you what happens when a wife is naughty.»
«What happens?»
«Oh, you...»
He sighs, caressing my cheek with his thumb. His eyes analyse my face, and he scoffs. It's a short sound, and it feels like surrender.
Finally, the last barrier has broken, and we can finally enjoy the life of every newly-wed couple.
I've waited enough for it. I had so much time to think about it.
I guess it's time to stop thinking already and to do it at once.
«Remember,» he whispers while approaching my lips. «If something, anything at all, is not to your taste, tell me.»
«You won't stop, though, will you?»
«I'll stop doing what annoys you,» he murmurs. «But I don't think I'll be able to release you that easily.»
Belatedly, some good news.
«You're in a lot of trouble, Veronica. You shouldn't have said so many nice words to a man like me.»
«Those were only my thoughts.»
«Your thoughts are dangerous.»
«I know,» I chuckle. «But I can't help it. My mind is unpredictable when you're around.»
