My Issues

The morning came with a soft breeze on my skin. My ears were awake before my eyes could open up. I knew this because I was busy enjoying Don Williams songs that were playing in the background. I was happy at the involuntary grin my face decided to put on today. Before, I used to hate waking up. The lights were always too bright. The sounds are too loud. But today, everything felt perfect and I couldn't be happier.

With a smile on my face, I opened my eyes to see a dog staring at me. I looked at it for a few seconds, giving my brain enough time to confirm that I was actually staring at a dog. When it did, out of shock, I jumped a little because I was never a big fan of animals. I looked around to see how the dog got in and I was a little bit surprised when I saw James running into my room.

He was sweating when he got in and he looked worried. "Hey, Becks have you seen... Oh Robert, there you are!" And he came forward to take the dog.

I looked at him and questioned "This is your dog? I didn't know you had one." Glad about having the beast finally taken away from me, I took a sharp breath in and out.

"Well, that's because he is not mine. I'm just watching over him for a friend who had to go out of town for an emergency. He will only be here for a couple of days tops." he reassured me.

I breathed a breath of relief. "Well, as long as he won't be here forever and as long as you will also keep him far away from me for the meantime. But what kind of person will give a dog a name as weird as Robert?"

James laughed and said "Well, that's Derek for you. He is always thinking outside the box. He never does anything in the conventional way."

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of the name "Derek". I mean I know it can't be him, but with all the similarities between this age and the one I was living in, you can't really blame me for hoping. I just had to know, so I asked him "This Derek, when do I get to meet him?"

James stopped at the door, he turned and looked at me. He then said "Well, you have already met him. I guess you just forgot. And I didn't even know that you wanted to get familiar with my friends again."

"Well, I am thinking of trying to recollect every memory I must have lost as a result of the accident and I honestly think meeting the people I once knew will really help jog my memory. What do you think?" I looked at him expectantly.

"Okay looking at it from your point of view, I can see reason with you. Don't worry okay? When he gets back to town, I will arrange a meeting for the both of you."

"Wow, that's amazing. Thanks, big bro." I could have sworn I felt my stomach tighten. I knew it was a long shot, but it felt so good to just think that maybe he is the same person. I told myself that if he was the same person, then this would definitely be a sign from God and I would not take it gently. I would ensure that I maximize it to its full potential.

James stopped dead in his tracks. I could see his eyes welling up a little. "Did you just call me big bro?"

I couldn't believe it myself, I actually called him that. But looking back at the past few weeks I have spent with Rebecca's family, I can conclude that I am actually starting to warm up to them. Well at least most of them. I still can't stand Jeffrey Jail and I do not think that I ever will be able to.

I smiled at James and said "Of course I did. Why the weird look? Is that not what you are to me or you just don't like it?"

"Oh no, I love it. Just surprised though. Was kinda getting this vibe that you did not like us that much."

"Well, I know that I have been a bit of a bitch of late. But it is not been long since I got out of a bad accident and also came back to life, I kinda needed a moment to take it all in. But I will try to get back to my old self again."

"That is very good. I am sure mom will be very happy to hear that. She has been a little bit worried about you."

"You can do well to reassure her that she hasn't lost her little girl."

He smiled. "I will do just that. Good to have you back lil sis." With that, he closed the door and left.

After he left, I got out of bed. I had a quick shower, brushed up and went to my wardrobe to choose what to wear. This wardrobe appeared to be very small when I had just moved to New Orleans with Dad at first, but now it has more space than it did before.

I went downstairs to find Amanda and her mother waiting for me. Her mom looked so much better in person. When Amanda saw me, she came running. She caught up to me and said, "Girl tell me everything in detail."

Becky's mom shouted from the kitchen "Before you girls go back to the room, come help me set the table. When you are done, y'all can go gossip as much as you like."

Amanda grunted and moved towards the kitchen reluctantly. Amanda's mom held my hand when I was approaching the kitchen, she moved me towards the sitting room, sat me down and said "Oh God, you look remarkably well. And as lovely as it is listening to my daughter talk about how you are doing, I still want to hear it from your lips. How are you doing Rebecca?"

"Oh, I am fine ma'am. Most of my wounds have healed up, though I still have to be taking my drugs..." She stopped me in between words and said

"I wasn't talking about your physical health," she then raised a hand to my forehead, poked it and said "I am talking about your mental health. How are you doing baby? I don't know exactly what it feels like, I mean I have never risen from the dead before, but I sure do know that it can not be a pretty feeling. So talk to me."

I looked down, this was a discussion I was not ready to have with her. I know she is Amanda's mom and Rebecca must have been really close to her, but I barely even know this woman. I didn't trust her well enough to start blurting out my feelings. But then again, I don't really trust anyone in this life and I know I can't go on like that. Regardless of that solemn truth, I still couldn't bring myself to talk to her.

"Mentally, I believe I am okay. But mom and dad seem to disagree with me. See they even went as far as sending me to a therapist."

"You don't say. Well, Amanda did tell me about that. She also told me about the incident that happened that led to them taking such a decision and I honestly think that it's for the best. I know you may be feeling a bit reluctant now and you really don't see the point of it,but it will help someday. You will be grateful for this one day."

Mom came in and announced that breakfast was ready. We all moved to the dining table. Dad came in from the back door, he must have been working in the garden because he had his working gloves on and he reeked of fertilizer.

Mom took a sniff at him and told him to go shower before he got down to eat. She even included the fact that we had guests over. Dad argued that The Browns were not guests, that they were friends. Still, mom insisted and dad headed upstairs to take a quick shower. The rest of us waited for him to be done because Mom insisted that no one is allowed to touch his or her meal till he got back.

Small chitchats were going around the table and finally, after seven minutes, dad finally came downstairs smelling fresh. Mom's face lit up like a Christmas tree. Dad sat at the centre of the table as usual and he said the grace. After he was done, we all dug in. We had pancakes with chocolate syrup and we downed them down with orange juice.

Breakfast was going great up till the point where Jeffrey decided to open his big mouth and ask me how my therapy sessions were going."So lil sis, how is therapy treating you? Cured of your madness yet?"

Mom dropped her spoon and said "Jeffrey that is no topic for a dining table and Becky has only had one session. If she wants to talk about it, she should be allowed to do that on her own terms."

Suddenly all eyes were on me and I did not feel comfortable at all. I shifted on my chair and it made a creaking sound on the floor. I turned to look at them and dad helped me out. "Rebecca will talk about it when she feels comfortable. Let's not rush her into anything."

Thank God for that man. Everyone went back to their food and within a few minutes, we all were done eating. Amanda and I helped mom carry the dishes to the kitchen for washing. On our way there we heard Mrs Brown saying to mom "Thank you so much for a lovely meal. Unfortunately, I have to go now. I'm kinda running late for work."

"Oh, it's no problem. Thank you for coming to check on Rebecca personally. It really means a lot."

"That's okay, I'll just go say bye to the girls."

She came to the kitchen to tell us that she was leaving. Amanda hugged her and she was out of the kitchen, that is after telling Amanda to prepare dinner.

I looked at her as she left and spoke out "Wow, your mom is really cool."

"Did she get the information out of you yet?"

"What information are you talking about?" I looked totally confused.

"Oh come on, you know. The information about what happened with the therapist. Because if you told her first, you and I, we are gonna have a big problem. You promised to tell me first."

"No, if I recall correctly. I said that we will talk about it today. I didn't say anything about making you the first person to hear it."

She gasped and looked at me. "So you have told her about it already. You broke the sister's code."

"What? Girl, there is no sister's code and if there was, it will not apply in this situation. And if you must know, I didn't tell her anything you didn't. You didn't tell me that you gossip about me to your mother."

"Of course my mom and I do gossip. She is like my best friend."

Now it was my turn to gasp, "I thought I was your best friend."

"Oh, darling you are. I said "like. She is like my best friend" don't get all jealous about it."

"I am not."

"Okay, let's finish this up so that we can go to the room and you can tell me all about what happened yesterday."

I was not looking forward to that conversation because I knew I had to lie to her about most things and honestly, I was getting tired of lying to everyone I knew. I just wished I had someone to share it with.