Chapter 5: Alfie makes an important decision

Alfie had now left Oxford and graduated with honours as expected. One morning, during a late summer visit to Oreton Hall, so momentous had Ellie but known it, Alfie came sauntering over to her after breakfast. Their conversation the evening before had been brief and formal, surrounded as they were by family members. To Ellie's mind, her mother seemed uneasy every time they came close to one another these days.

'Let's go for a walk,' he whispered in her ear.

She looked around. Maria was deep in conversation with Lady Mary. Lord Dillinger was absent on business at the time and Alfie's younger siblings were busily engaged in the kind of tumultuous laughter and teasing which looked ready to break into a fight between the boys at any moment. That was enough to keep the adults occupied for a while.

'Yes, quick, let's get away.'

They slipped out of the French windows, which opened onto a pleasant summer's morning, as yet not too hot or sultry. The sun shone with a gentle warmth, the world seemed beautiful, and she felt relief and delight at having Alfie to herself for a little while.

They took the path alongside a broad stream that wound its way into their beloved woods. Safe out of sight and sound of the Hall and its occupants, he turned and caught her up in his arms and kissed her.

'Ellie, Ellie! I'm so hungry for the taste of your lips. You have no idea how I think of you wherever I am. I think of you night and day.'

'Do you, Alfie? I think of you all the time too. I like your new little moustache. It suits you.'

'Thanks. And I like your new little breasts,' he said, trying to feel them through her summer clothing.

'Oh, Alfie, behave!'

'Why should I?'

'We need to be careful, suppose your brothers see us? Or little Charlotte?'

'So? Let them learn about real life.'

She giggled at the thought and they kissed once more. Alfie had no respect for anything, he was so wicked. His dark laughing eyes and energetic warmth always broke through any restraints and foolish fears. She loved him so much.

'You say these bold things and yet you seem afraid to declare our love to the world. And these days I see so little of you, Alfie,' said Ellie, twining her arms about his neck.

'I know, Ellie, but just now I'm busy with all the things a fellow has to do. You women have an easy life.'

'Easy? A boring life. A life always waiting for men.'

'Are you grumbling at me? You never used to grumble.'

'I'm not grumbling. I'm just miserable about it. I want to see you and be with you all the time - you say you think of me as well but I don't believe you. Men always have their mind on other things. Alfie, when will you speak to Papa? Do you not think you should do so? Do you not think we've waited long enough?'

He looked up from shredding a large sycamore leaf into tiny pieces. Ellie could tell that his mind was far away just then and that this insistent question she put every time they managed to be alone always irritated him. He sighed and said in a sharp tone that offended her, 'I don't think we should mention it yet. I've told you enough times. Please say nothing about it. Promise me?'

'I have promised, Alfie, a hundred times, but I can't see why.'

'You know what your father is like. He thinks you're still his baby girl and would put a stop to our meeting together even with a dozen chaperones. It's getting harder to elude your frightful Miss Perrin as it is. Thank God, the wretched woman is visiting her mother today.'

'Oh, Alfie, Miss Perrin is a dear, kind lady! Don't be so unkind.'

'Unkind! You don't know the half of it. I'd like to wring her neck when I see her watching us so closely these days and pursing her lips the way she does. As for your father, he wouldn't even consider an engagement as yet. On top of that, Father as good as said Joshua Farnham had other plans for you. It quite troubled me, his saying that.'

'Sometimes I think my parents never want me married at all,' said Ellie gloomily.

'That's nonsense and you know it is, my love. The simple fact is that you're still too young. Plus, I have to prove myself a little, you know, get myself a career, show your father what I'm made of and all that...mustn't I?'

'You don't need to, Alfie. Papa knows you. He knows you'll be Lord Dillinger one day and Oreton Hall will be yours. Why on earth would he expect you to prove anything to him as if you were some penniless fortune hunter?'

Alfie took her hands in his and turning them over planted a kiss in each palm. He said solemnly, 'I have to prove myself. Myself to myself. Myself to the world. Don't you see that?'