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The Crafter and The Slug

Zach is a normal human thrown into something completely out of this world. He meets a Legendary Sannin in a bar and gets his ass whopped while his friend stands there and watches. Then gets blessed by a couple gods only to be put into a cheesy rom-com movie situation. Follow the lovey-dovey story of a man who's pull-out game is weak and the princess of Konohagakure. Can he survive on Naruto's world, or will he have to build a Death Star and just say screw it? Heads up, I know the beginning is really rough I'm sorry. I'm not good at starting stories, or even writing them. This is my third attempt at writing and the longest so far. I'm trying to keep to a two-a-day release schedule. From what I've been told the story picks up after Ch. 16, but he doesn't get very bad*ss until around Ch. 19 Discord: https://discord.gg/Eph2esQ

Yay_Pepto · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
79 Chs

Ch. 60

-- Zach POV --

Tsunade read Jiraiya the riot act, he was not able to speak one word until Shizune arrived at his side and Anko right beside her. Looking at the thruple (A/N: Get it? :D) I saw that Anko was making lovey-dovey eyes at Shizune and not Jiraiya. A million things were going through my mind as I pointed at Shizune then at Anko, back to Shizune, and then to Jiraiya. Shizune and Anko started to laugh at that and it caused Tsunade to stop her tirade.

Shizune: "Lady Tsunade, I think you have something wrong."

Tsunade turned to Shizune and gave her a stern look.

Shizune: "Yes, Jiraiya is the father. But it's not his harem, it's mine."

Shizune let out a wicked grin and I was rocked on my heels. Looking over to Jiraiya he seemed a little deflated that he wasn't the Harem King. I snickered at his crappy luck, but then got a glare from Tsunade and a finger pointed at me.

Tsunade: "Don't you dare even think about it."

I cocked an eyebrow back at her.

Zach: "Right back at you, you're mine forever."

Her features softened at that and she slid into me and we embraced each other. Shizune coughed to break up our moment and we both looked at her disapprovingly.

Tsunade: "Still, that doesn't change the fact that we specifically told everyone not to try and get pregnant in the chamber."

Shizune blushed a little and kicked the dirt on the ground. Anko wrapped her arms around Shizune and spoke for the first time.

Anko: "We bonded over being jealous of you and Zach. We were jealous of the fact that someone with your personality was able to score a man before us."

Tsunade: " HEY! WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

Tsunade tried to launch herself at Anko but I just held on tight to her.

Shizune: "Lady Tsunade, you're not the easiest to get along with. After bonding, we started to experiment with each other and it was really fun and hot. We both decided it would be nice to have kids that would be born about the same time as yours. So I easily convinced Jiraiya to help us get pregnant."

I looked over at Jiraiya in shock.

Zach: "Are you ok with this?"

Jiraiya just shrugged.

Jiraiya: "Well we are kinda in an open relationship."

I stared at Jiraiya. Tsunade stared at Jiraiya. It was as if our minds were connected, we both turned around and noped the hell out of there. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have them around the Gods so much.

Zach: "Maybe we should limit our friend's exposure to the Gods.

Tsunade: "Agreed."

We heard a couple of female voices in our heads.

Hecate: "I resent that."

Aphrodite: "I resemble that! I think I'll visit Shizune tonight."

Me and Tsunade quickened our pace back to the house wanting to stay as far away from that as possible. I then broke off from Tsunade to prepare for the trip to Uzushiogakure. Tsunade had volunteered to talk to Kushina and let her know that we'll leave tomorrow to fetch her husband.

Leaving the compound I made my way to the graveyard where I dug up Kushina. Someone had filled in her grave and removed the headstone that was no longer needed. Creating a shovel from my essence I dug out Minato's body, it caused me to receive a lot of strange looks. When people came to ask what I was doing I just replied with, "You'll see," and kept digging. Once his casket was revealed I stored it into spacial ring and filled the grave back in with the dirt.

When I got back to the compound I made my way to the shop and started to build a teleportation circle. Unfortunately, we'll have to get to Uzushiogakure the old fashion way, but coming back will actually be a breeze. I was so occupied with the workout that I lost track of time. When I had finished the teleportation circle I started to do a little dance in excitement for

Tsunade: "Oh Za-ch-a-ry"

I froze as I heard the voice of an angel. But this angel must be a fallen one because it sent shivers down my spine.

Zach: "Hey honey, what's up?"

Tsunade: "Ohhh, we had a nice dinner. But it was missing something.~~"

Her melodic voice made me want to let my guard down. But I wasn't falling for it, I kept my guard up. It was time to use my strongest attack, deflection!

Zach: "Honey I'm sorry, I wanted to get this done as quickly as possible. That way we can come straight back from Uzushiogakure as soon as possible."

She stood there with her arms folded across her chest. It took every ounce of will in my body not to stare at her chest as they were resting on top of her arms. I saw her quirk an eyebrow at me because of the answer and she stayed quiet. This is the worst tactic to use against me, I hate awkward silences like this. But what I hated more was being in the doghouse and not having a comfy warm pillow to wrap around at night, so I endured.

Tsunade: "Uh-huh. It hasn't happened in a while, so I'll forgive you this time. Come to bed, you've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow."

I ran over to her and picked her up in a princess carry. After the little squeal from the suddenness, she wrapped her arms around my neck for more support. With that, I took my queen into the house and into our room. For the next couple of hours, I showed her how sorry I was, and how much I was going to miss her.

(A/N: Get pissed all you want about this next part. I'm going to gloss over it HARD, I have 0 clue about Uzushiogakure, nor any of the functions of the Shinigami mask. I'm gonna Marry Sue the shit out of it.)

Me and Kushina left the next morning for our trip, it took us around a week to finally reach Uzushiogakure. During this time I was telling Kushina about all the different kinds of recipes I knew from my world. She had snagged a notebook from the house and had been writing everything down diligently. One of the last villages, before we reached Uzushiogakure, was about to execute a child molester, so we decided to snag him and put him to good use.

I shared stories from my world and she was fascinated at those too, her favorite story so far was Ms. Marvel. She loved that a woman could kick so much ass and was the epitaph of girl power. I then shared our plans to actually move to that world with her and the knowledge of wanting to fill the bar with ninjas as servers and bartenders, then invited her to become part of the staff. She hesitated on that until I told her how we were going to have it set up so we'd still be connected to this world, and she could come and go whenever she needed to.

Her one condition for agreeing to join our staff was to let her meet Ms. Marvel, all I could promise her was a chance. The woman was in space 99% of the time doing who knows what, and the only time she came back to Earth in the movies was when the shit hits the fan. Chances will be high for Kushina to meet her if we decided to take part in the giant cluster fuck, I'm leaning to just staying in my forge and let the heroes deal with it.

As we wandered the destroyed village there was a sense of sadness that washed over us. Betrayed by Konoha because Danzo was a piece of shit, yet they still held against 3 different ninja villages. Part of me wants to just revive the whole damn place, but I needed to draw the line somewhere. That somewhere is what we're here to retrieve, I promised myself that this would be the last time.

It didn't take long for Kushina to find the Mask of the Shinigami. She was anxious and wanted to put it on right away to release Minato, but I told her to hold off on it. I needed to set up the reincarnation circle and teleportation circle back to Konoha and power it in case I somehow couldn't. She reluctantly complied, and I went to work diligently as she started to explore the ruins. That took me the remainder of the day and frustrated Kushina to no end that I wanted to sleep before the strenuous act of reincarnating someone and sealing the Yin Kurama in her.

When I woke up the next morning Kushina looked like she had been up all night. What was even more interesting was that everything was in place. She had planted the convict in the sacrificial spot that I had pointed out the night prior, and the mask was right outside the circle. Looking at her she jumped up and ran towards me in excitement. All I could do was sigh and walk towards the reincarnation circle and take Minato's coffin out and place it in the correct spot.

Kushina stood right next to me at the activation point of the circle. When I gave her the ready signal she donned the mask and summoned the Shinigami. When she had control over it she had it only release Minato's soul for the moment. As soon as I saw his soul free from the Shinigami I activated the reincarnation and the usual fan-fare happened.

My attention was shifted to the Yin Kurama that Kushina had started to release. I grabbed one of the premade talismans that we had concocted on the way here and planted it on her belly. That caused the free part of Yin Kurama to start getting sucked inside her, even though it only lasted a couple of seconds it was mesmerizing to watch and feel this powerful chakra-beast getting sealed in her.

When Kurama's soul finally left the Shinigami and locked itself in Kushina the mask started to crack down the middle. It didn't take long before the thing broke and Kushina dropped to the floor passed out from the drain of the mask and the influx from Kurama. At the same time, Minato's reincarnation had finished and all he saw was Kushina falling to the ground and me standing right next to her with my hand out.

Zach: "Well shit."

That is all I could say before Minato started to attack me. Luckily he didn't have his forked kunai to teleport around the fucking place, that would have been annoying. But he was no slouch when it came to hand-to-hand combat, I'd even say he was better than Jiraiya before he went into the chamber with me. After a couple of minutes of me defending and Minato just going balls to the wall Kushina decided to wake up.

Kushina: "Wh-what? Minato what are you doing, why are you attacking Zach?"

That caused him to stop attacking at me and he looked at her.

Minato: "He hurt you."

By now I had taken a loose stance to show that I wasn't a threat. Kushina shook her head no.

Kushina: "Honey, he brought me and you back. He's been taking care of Naruto for us, and he resealed the Yin Kurama in me."

Minato was shocked by her words and turned to look at me in a new light. Before I could even "yo" him, he bowed down at a 90-degree angle.

Minato: "I'm sorry, thank you for taking care of my family and giving us a second chance."

I just nervously chuckled at him then walked over and patted him on the shoulder.

Zach: "It's not like I didn't have ulterior motives. My wife was forced into being Hokage after Hiruzen died."

Minato looked at me questioningly.

Minato: "Who's your wife?"

Zach: "Tsunade Senju."

Minato stared at me for a solid minute, then he busted out laughing. It took him another 5 minutes before he settled down enough to talk.

Minato: "She was actually able to snag a man?"

I felt a vein pounding in my head as he made that parting shot. Even if it was true that her personality used to suck, maybe still does a little. But still, that's my wife. Luckily Minato wasn't as dense as his son and picked up on my body language.

Minato: "Do forgive me, but I see her as an aunt. A grouchy aunt, but still family."

My anger subsided and I just smirked at him.

Zach: "She used to be grouchy, but she's calmed down a lot. Unless I lose track of time when working on my projects."

I shivered at that thought, Minato and Kushina just laughed at that. After chatting a bit we gathered everything up that we wanted to take back with us. I guided the two to the teleportation circle and we all stood in it.

Zach: "Next stop, home."

(A/N: Yeah bet you're sick and tired of this. Let me know who you want to see as staff members of the bar. Kushina is going to be the first, Mikoto will be the second. Kayla(Karin's Mom) won't work there, she is pursuing medicine along with Shizune.

Also, give me your stones! Lets get this back in the top 50! We're at 191 atm.

Discord: https://discord.gg/Eph2esQ

Love,

Pepto)