Dream Two, Chapter Six

(Anything in asterisks in supposed to be italicized.)

I had completely lost all track of time. I was in the process of losing my grip on reality, on sanity.

This was what had made me fear my immortality: the things someone could do to me without worrying about keeping me alive. My throat was once ripped out. I bled out and died several times as my body repaired it.

Early on in my time in Dublin, I had known I wouldn't hold up under torture. When the "vampire" Mallucé abducted me and brought me to his grotto under the Burren to slowly kill me for unintentionally poisoning him with my spear (I was intending to instantly kill him but actually made him slowly rot because of all the Unseelie he had eaten), I antagonized him into trying to kill me quickly. It almost worked. I would have died if Barrons hadn't shown up and fed me Unseelie when I told him it would heal me.

He'll find me. I know he will. Barrons *always* finds me.

And if he doesn't before I completely lose it, well...he once promised me he'd always be there to fuck me back to my senses. He'll find a way to bring me back somehow. His backup plans have backup plans. And I won't hate him for it afterwards like last time. I just have to hold on until he gets here.

I do enjoy saving myself. In fact, I thoroughly enjoy saving myself. Except Cruce somehow has blocked me from accessing the True Magic here. I've tried escaping numerous times. That's how I ended up down here in this dungeon, chained to one of those medieval stretching devices. I think it's called the rack.

He wants me to *choose* him. I agreed to stay in his castle if he saved my father from whatever the Princess of Winter had poisoned him with and he did, but that hadn't meant I was his. He wasn't happy about that. Jericho Barrons is my soulmate. There's no changing that, no erasing it.

At first he tried flattery and gifts. I played along, making him think I was warming up to him. Used every excuse I could think of to explain away my escape attempts until I pushed him too far and he stopped believing me. It took three days. That's when he turned to torture. Physical and psychological.

The fucker brought my sister back from the dead and then brainwashed her into thinking Cruce and I were lovers. She thinks I've completely lost it. He kills and resurrects her every once in a while. Makes me watch her die.

My monster's going to come out once I've completely lost it. She's my last line of defense. She doesn't feel. She strips away everything except the will to survive. She won't give him the True Magic and she won't choose him. She loves Barrons's beast. That's the only thing she lets herself feel. His beast loves her, too. She'll hold on for as long as she can.

Sometimes he wears glamours in an attempt to trick me. My parents, Christian, Kat, Dani, some of the Nine—even Ryodan once.

But this time? Oh, *this* time, he went too far.

I see them coming down the stairs and I start to laugh bitterly. "I commend you, Cruce. Your glamours are getting better." That's when I give him a feral snarl, lifting my head off the flat surface of the rack. "How *dare* you wear his face! You are not worthy of wearing the face of Jericho Barrons! On his worst day, he is *ten times* what you could ever hope to be on your best days, you fucker!" I spit and hiss at him.

The fake Barrons and Ryodan stare at me for a moment before the fake Barrons's face lights up and fake Ryodan says, "You were right, she hasn't broken yet."

I laugh again, dropping my head back down and staring up at the ceiling. "I fucking told you I wouldn't fucking betray him, you conniving motherfucker."

I continue laughing, my laughter growing more and more manic and unhinged before it devolves into sobs and then into a scream of rage and fury as I strain at my restraints. I hear the two fakes bickering once my scream stops echoing.

"What is the hold up? Get the bloody fucking door open already!" the fake Barrons is snapping.

"Patience, brother. I'm going as fast as I can."

"Don't fucking tell me to be patient when she's clearly losing her bloody fucking mind again."

"Take it up with the fucking fairy. It's not my fault he has so many fucking keys on this key ring. Why does he even fucking need keys. He can just sift everywhere and remove all the doors."

"Take it up with the fucking fairy," fake Barrons snarls.

I start laughing again, with more than a touch of madness. "I gotta hand it to you, Cruce. You and whoever's with you are doing stellar impressions of Barrons and Ryodan. Bravo." I start laughing again before it devolves into another scream.

"Hold on, Mac," the fake Barrons tells me from the other side of the bars. "We're going to get you out of here. Just hold on a little bit longer, Rainbow—"

"NO!" I scream with everything I have. "That name is sacred! Don't you dare, Cruce! Don't you *fucking dare* pervert that name! There is only *one* man in all of existence who gets to call me that and it! Is! Not! Fucking! You!" My voice had definitely become unhinged. A symphony of desperation and rage.

Fake Ryodan must have found the right key because then fake Barrons is there and looking down at me, his hand going to my cheek. I jerk away from him, not noticing the surge of electricity I feel at his touch.

"I'm not Cruce, Mac. It's me."

I laugh bitterly again and say, "Do you really expect me to believe that? If you're not Cruce, prove it. Barrons knows how to get into my head. Show me a memory that I'll know is Barrons's."

Fake Barrons looks at me a moment before he lowers his forehead to mine and puts his fingers on my temples.

I'm instantly transported to my bookstore. It's night and I'm on the chesterfield. But I'm seeing myself through his eyes as he tips her/my head back and pins it there, crushing her/my mouth with his/ours. Then I'm in his head. I'm/we're fighting myself/Mac who is watching memories from when I/she was *Pri-ya* in our/his head, trying to evict me/her from our/his head. Memory me is observing our/his conflicted thoughts and emotions as we/he fucks me/her and then I/she disappears. We/he can still feel me/her somewhere and I know I'm/she's waiting for what comes next.

*Just once. When you see me, let me be your man.*

It ends when Barrons had finally managed to evict me from his mind and I'm pulled back to the dungeon. He lifts his head and looks down at me but all I can do is stare back up at that beautiful face. Tears somehow form in my eyes even though I'm certain I'm dehydrated.

"Jericho?" I finally managed to croak after he exchanged a long look with Ryodan.

"Rainbow Girl." His voice is gentle and I lose my breath for a moment. A glamour could not replicate the way he calls me that name.

"Jericho!" I whisper excitedly as I grin. "I knew you'd find me!" Then my smile vanishes and I frown. "Christ, what bloody fucking took you so long?"

He smiles down at me as his fingers brush my cheek again before he looks over at Ryodan who had just freed my feet and was moving towards my hands. Once he's unlocked my hands from their bindings, I try to move but can't. I bite my lip so hard to keep from screaming when I try to move that it starts to bleed. Each time I try to move my arms and legs, the pain is surreal. I take a quick assessment of my body and realize I can't really move my extremities.

"Jericho, I can't move," I tell him, panicking a little. "Why can't I move?"

He turns away, snarling, as his clothing starts to rip and he gets taller. Ryodan comes into view and his cool silver eyes look me up and down before he meets my gaze. There's cool fury in them. "Mac, your hips and shoulders have been dislocated. He kept them locked down that way so they wouldn't heal properly."

"Can you fix it?" I ask, fearful of his answer. "Can you—I don't know—relocate them?"

"Yes. It's going to hurt like hell."

"Just get me out of here, Ryodan, please," I sob, a few more tears managing to form before I seem to run out of moisture. "I want to go home!"

"It's going to be okay, Mac," he says and I'm surprised to hear a gentleness I've never heard in his voice before. I suddenly feel his hand in mine and I nod as I give it a squeeze. He gives it a squeeze back before he lets go and approaches Barrons. I turn my head and watch them. "Barrons. Get it the fuck together. She needs you."

"How would you fucking feel if that was Dani instead of Mac?" Barrons snarls around fangs. "Just give me a bloody fucking minute." He's breathing very deeply for a while and he goes back to his usual towering height. When he turns back to me, his fangs are gone but there's still crimson in his eyes.

*I'm sorry, Mac*, his eyes tell me.

*Make it up to me later*, I tell him. His lips twitch at the corners before he leans over and kisses me, sucking the blood off my lip.

Ryodan moves to my left leg and places his hands on it. Barrons slips a hand under my head and puts his other over my mouth to muffle my screams. Then Ryodan looks at me. I start breathing rapidly and nod before squeezing my eyes closed. I hear and feel the click and scream. My muscles and tendons had tried to heal in that position. My back arches but Barrons's hand keeps me from jerking and slamming my head back and hurting myself further. Ryodan's ready to go with my right leg but he waits for me to settle. Wanting nothing more than to get this over with, I nod at him again once I've finished screaming. Then I'm screaming again as pain shoots through me. The pain shouldn't last this long. It shouldn't still be present. My immortal healing should be helping it heal rapidly. I look up at Barrons and ask.

He nods once grimly. *We feel it, too. This dungeon has something from the Unseelie prison in it. It's...significantly weakened you.*

*What if it's already too late? What if I'm too weak to endure what's about to be done to my arms? Please, don't let me die here!* Panic has begun to set in again as he's confirmed what I had already begun to suspect.

His eyes flash furiously at me. *Stop it, Ms. Lane. Nothing is taking you from me. Not Cruce, not death, nothing. You are not going to die. Not here, not ever. Do you understand?*

I stare up at him and nod slowly. His gaze softens.

*You can get through this, Mac. Just hold on.*

I nod again, a little more vigorously this time. As long as Barrons believes in me, I can get through anything. I can *do* anything. The despair and futility that makes up the atmosphere of the Unseelie prison is not as strong in Cruce's dungeon as it is in that icy hell, but I realize that's what I had been feeling now that I know it's there.

Ryodan's next to me and visibly inspecting my arm and shoulder. "What is it?" Barrons asks.

"The angle. Fucking fairy knew what he was doing. There's no way she'd have been able to get it back in herself, not after it tried to heal. It's going to require both of us, pushing from both sides."

Barrons leans over and takes a look before he tightly nods. Then he's removing his coat and bundling it up under my head. His shirt's black silk. The smile he gives me doesn't reach his eyes. "The things I do for you, woman," he murmurs as he unbuttons the cuff of his left sleeve. "That's three of my favorite shirts now." Before I can protest, he rips the sleeve off and wads it up. I open my mouth wide as I realize what he's thinking, and he puts it in my mouth to muffle my screams but not too deep that it'll choke me. My jaw clamps down on it hard as they position themselves and I start to breathe rapidly again before I nod to him.

Crying without shedding tears is one of the strangest sensations I've ever experienced, though I didn't realize that until later.

"Almost done, Mac," Ryodan tells me as he gently folds my right arm and places it on my chest. I nod weakly and say nothing, but I see Barrons nod gratefully to him as they position themselves again.

"Tell us when, Mac," Barrons tells me, but I don't respond. He and Ryodan exchange a look before he says, "Mac, the longer you're here, the worse it's going to be." I still don't respond and my eyes close.

I just need a minute to breathe but I'm sobbing and it's getting hard to take oxygen in. The despair and futility are getting to me and I can feel them slowly draining me of my life force, telling me to just give in. I want to laugh and cry at the insanity of my situation. But then I open my eyes when I feel his fingers on my cheek.

*Hope strengthens. Fear kills*, his eyes say, flashing down my own mantra at me. Then he's sending me memories. Fighting side by side in the warehouse, and later when he kissed me. Him letting me drive the Viper for the first time. Dancing with him in the basement when I was *Pri-ya.* Promising me the bookstore, the Viper, and the Lamborghini. My parents hugging me at Chester's. Those days we spent in his lair indulging in mind-blowing love and passion when the Book was still on the loose, the rest of the world be damned. Him telling me he loved me for the first time. When he came into my head as I confronted the Book. Giving me the deed to the bookstore. Me realizing I got the best one of the Nine. When his beast brought me the heads of two of the princes who raped me. Fucking me in that closet in Chester's. Hearing him laugh behind me as a Hunter flies us impossibly fast to the abbey. Him sitting beside me and taking my hand at Mallucé's when the Book dumped me there. Watching me emerge from the cage we trapped the Book in in the White Mansion. Me running into his arms later in the bookstore and him telling me I'm his sun, moon, and stars. The last time we made love when we thought the earth was about to be swallowed by black holes. The vow we made to find each other again if the Song of Making destroyed him.

All of these invigorate me with strength and hope. In all of those moments of despair, I found hope. I try to relax and close my eyes again, searching inward. Dani had joined the immortals club. She and Ryodan were finally together. Barrons had found me, just as I knew he would. Someday we'd get to go back to the basement where I was *Pri-ya* and do it all over again, but with me fully sentient and willing. I'd get to run with his beast and explore worlds with him and Dani and Ryodan because the four of us are a family. I open my eyes, steel myself, and nod.

I was not given a chance to brace for it. Bastards.

Ryodan waits a moment before he folds my left arm against my chest. Barrons removes the sleeve from my mouth once I've finished screaming and returned to sobbing, tucking it into his pocket. I feel Ryodan's arms gently lifting me off the rack. Barrons grabs his coat and wraps it around me before taking me from Ryodan.

"Wait," I manage before we can leave the area. "It's warded. I have to walk out myself."

"Never seen these wards before," Ryodan says as he inspects them.

"Are you sure, Mac?" Barrons asks and I nod. Ryodan goes through the door first before Barrons gently sets me on my feet. He wraps his coat tighter around me and I take three incredibly painful steps before I nearly collapse into Ryodan's waiting arms. He holds me up as Barrons follows me before passing me to Barrons. I can feel him about to pick me up again when we hear a gasp.

All three of us look up to see Alina standing at the top of the stairs leading down into the dungeon.

"She's been brainwashed by Cruce, stop her!" I croak. Ryodan's gone in a flash and appears behind Alina as she opens her mouth to scream. Then they're both gone and reappear in front of us, her arms pinned to her side with Ryodan's hand over her mouth.

"I don't care whose sister you are, I won't hesitate to kill you if you try anything," he tells her very softly. Her eyes are wide with panic and fear but she nods. He looks at me and I nod once before he lowers his hand and releases her.

"Mac, what's going on?" she asked as she stepped away from Ryodan. "Who are these men and why are you letting them take you from the one you love?"

"Because Cruce *isn't* the one I love," I tell her. Barrons pulls me closer and I lean into him before I say, "*He* is. He's here to bring me home."

"But this *is* home!" Her eyes widen as she seems to recognize Barrons and her voice goes into a whisper. "Mac, he's our enemy!"

"No, it's not, and, no, he's not." I can feel myself growing weaker from the effort of trying to stand. That's when Barrons picks me up and I groan from the movement of my hips as my head falls into the hollow of his neck. He turns so I can still see her.

"But Cruce loves you! He'd do anything for you and you'd do anything for him because you love him, too!"

"Wake up, Alina!" I snap at her, finding a little more fuel from anger. "He locked me in a *bloody fucking dungeon* to try and *force* me to choose him over the man I love! He's resurrected, brainwashed, and killed you in front of me six times! That's not love. And I never loved him. I have *only* ever loved Jericho Barrons." My eyes flit up to his face and I forget to breathe for a moment. He's looking down at me with such love and tenderness and even joy because his Rainbow Girl is back in his arms again. I smile up at him, putting all my love for him in my eyes. "I love you so—"

"Hush," he tells me. "You think I don't already know that?"

"Go find Darroc," I tell her. "Run away from this place with him and be happy. Don't make them kill you so we can escape. I won't be able to stop them. They'll do whatever it takes to get me out of here and they aren't going to stop until they're successful."

"Listen to her, Alina," Ryodan tells her softly, a warning edge in his tone. He doesn't need to say anything more. His tone and posture say it all. The three of us are quiet as she weighs her options. She looks me over and briefly studies the way Barrons and I are touching and looking at each other. Then she gets a determined look in her eyes.

"Follow me," she says softly.

I don't retain much after that. I'm dimly aware every time we have to cross a threshold and Barrons puts me down for me to take the necessary steps before Ryodan scoops me up and places me back in Barrons's arms. I'm conscious the whole way through the castle, but only just. The despair and futility are no longer in the atmosphere, but they linger around me. It's taking everything I have to fight them. Barrons assures me they'll go away in time. No one and nothing sees us.

When I realize that we've made it to the castle walls, I croak, "Jericho." He shoots me a look so I fire something along our connection.

*Please, we have to get her to Darroc.*

*I'll kill him if I see him. For several reasons.*

*Think about how some Fae could sift in and snatch me if you put me down, and don't get too close to him.*

He said nothing back and wouldn't look at me so I fired at him again.

*JERICHO!* A muscle in his jaw twitched and he looked at me with narrowed eyes. *Please. She's still my sister. I've seen her die a total of seven times now. I'm not saying we take them with us, just that we get her to someone I know will keep her safe.*

He looked at me and I looked back at him determinedly. We had just cleared the land surrounding the castle and were hiding in the shadows. "Honestly, the things I do for you, Ms. Lane." He shook his head at me and I smirked up at him. Then he turned to Ryodan. "We're getting Alina back to Darroc before we go."

"Are you fucking kidding me."

Barrons slants him a look and a muscle in Ryodan's jaw twitches.

"Lead the way," Ryodan tells Alina. "But stay to the shadows." She nods and starts moving. I closed my eyes during this portion. I stayed awake but was trying to conserve energy. And I didn't feel like enjoying Cruce's version of Dublin, beautiful as it is.

"He'll be waiting for me inside," I heard Alina say, so I opened my eyes.

"You *have* to convince him to run away with you, Alina," I say. Suddenly she's there, looking down at me. "Cruce isn't going to let you live if he knows you helped me escape."

"If we don't get away, don't come back for me, Junior. No matter what he says he'll do." Barrons set me down on my feet and Alina wrapped me in her arms. I was able to at least hold onto her. When she let go and Barrons picked me up again, she kissed my forehead and looked up at him. "Take care of my sister."

"Always," he tells her solemnly.

I held my hand out to her and she grabbed it and squeezed it before she muttered a thank you and ran into their mansion.

"Can we get the fuck out of here now?" Barrons growls, his fangs appearing because Darroc, the man who had me raped, is in there and the Book and K'Vruck killed him the first time around, moments before Barrons could.

"Are your beasts going to be the fastest ways out of here?" I ask. They exchange a look and incline their heads. "Then we get out that way."

"Mac—" Barrons starts, but I interrupt him.

"You can carry me piggyback or over your shoulder, I don't care," I tell him. "Jericho, please just get me the fuck out of here."

Barrons exchanges a long look with Ryodan before Ryodan comes over and takes me from Barrons, but not before Barrons gives me a hot and hungry kiss. Then I hear the sound of clothing rip and Barrons's beast is there and my eyes widen because I can't help but find him beautiful in this form. He snarls because someone else is holding the woman who is more or less mated to his beast. Then I'm on my feet and Ryodan's gone, reappearing in his beast form. He's a little smaller than Barrons but Barrons is suddenly in between us.

It's difficult to understand him whenever he has to talk around his fangs, but he tells me to put the coat on and once I do, he crouches and indicates I should climb on. I try, but it's incredibly painful and I'm so weak and tired that I end up just sitting down in front of him, crying without shedding tears again. He approaches me and licks my face with his forked tongue before he tells me to stand.

Then I'm over his shoulder and we're moving so fast that everything's a blur.

Sleep had been attempting to overtake me but I had been fighting it. Now that my sister was safe and I was under the watchful eye of the kings of the jungle, I knew nothing could touch me. I slipped into unconsciousness.