Chapter 20

The mention of Princess Julia naturally reminded me of Shada, who had worked as her maid. In fact, it doesn't matter what I think of these last few days; everything ends and begins with Shada.

There have been signs of me doing that ever since I first brought her to the mansion, but I was doing more and more—and it was only getting worse.

Even today, he looked at the teacup that was lighter than the tea she had made, and he fell in thought.

She is very gentle and quiet. No greed. A woman named Shada was a maid who worked hard at her job and was introverted, and she had a lot of worries and thoughts.

She had the great qualities of a small citizen. A good woman who cannot commit serious wrongs, illegalities, or immorality in her lifetime.

At the same time, his excessive natural charm did not match the weak inner side.

Like a worm twisting in a sweet flower, Shada became the target of all kinds of desires, jealously, and harassment—even though she didn't even do anything special or seek attention.

The flower had no thorns to protect itself, so she must have cried a lot all this time.

Thinking back and recalling her white cheeks that had been beaten and swollen due to Princess Julia's abuse, he lowered his line of sight, looking down expressionlessly.

Overly seductive charm and beauty are what everyone covets, but it is a heavy poison for a vulnerable and powerless woman like herself.

Even a human being like me is also possessed and fascinated by it.

The only difference was that if the Princess or others were ugly mites and pests that tormented her and harmed her, I was a greedy spider who would devour the whole flower.

As if I instinctively refused, as if I wanted to avoid the truth, the back of my hand was itchy.

I flexed my flinching fingers.

In fact, my personality was far from being gentle and good. From the background of my growth –to my half-life on the battlefield, I was exposed to a violent and harsh environment throughout my life. So it was challenging to have a good personality.

If there is only one virtue, I had fostered better than others; it was my unwavering patience.

However, my one advantage seems to have an exception.

My best organs became useless for almost a month. I was amazed and perplexed in my heart. It was bizarre to behave and talk impulsively as if I had no control of myself.

This was a very anomalous and disturbing change, considering the goals I had set for myself since childhood.

Naturally, I felt a sense of crisis and thought to distance myself from her—Shada, the eye of my chaotic storm— but I didn't want to.

Every time his maid tried to escape and create distance, he became angry.

Of course, he understood her position and feelings because he was an understanding, patient, and caring master.

If Shada had been shrewd, she might understand the unreasonable things she and Huey might face in the future and how unfair he was being and not tolerate such annoying and irritating things like now.

In fact, he didn't like being vociferous either.

It was better to spend time alone in a quiet place rather than in the midst of public admiration, and he preferred rural estates on the outskirts to the magnificent capital.

Nevertheless, here he was, obeying the order to be engaged with Princess Julia and acting like a ridiculous clown—albeit semi-forced—because he had good political reasons to decide and choose so.

But Shada had no good reason –unless she loved him.

But that didn't mean she wasn't attracted to Huey. He wasn't a stupid man that he couldn't even read the gestures, facial expressions, and eyes he encountered.

She was hesitant and scared. And she should be; if he was careful and wise, he would be too. But burning greed and selfishness were shouting at him constantly.

'I don't want her to see all that and simply just see me. May you desire honestly, open your arms and yell and moan. My dream—one day— I want to see her clinging to lust, hanging on to me with passion, just like her inner embrace when I am inside of her. I hope you will look me in the eye and call me.'

I endured it dozens of times a day–whenever her light pink eyes avoided and turned away, I had to resist forcibly holding onto her.

Unlike me, she didn't seem to have a significant change in her daily life with or without me.

That hateful, stony face that doesn't look at me at all.

'Well, I guess you don't like me that much yet.'

Huey twisted his tight lips.

"It looks like his Majesty the King will call you."

As if Cedric's polite address was funny, Huey raised the corner of his lips.

"Why?"

"Did you not hear? The western border area is noisy these days. Amongst the nobles, it seems like they are talking about the republican rebels and terrorism. His Majesty is also listening to their talks."

"I'm not going."

"I haven't finished talking yet."

"I said I'm not going. If he wants to clean it up, let him go."

It was a stubborn rejection. Cedric was a bit taken aback by the readily replying figure opposite of him.

He recalled recent gossip that mentioned the Count was confining himself to his mansion and estate.

As rumored, Huey didn't seem to have any desire to leave his nest. Frankly, there were also some unsavory speculations about his absence among the rumors—perhaps even—'dismissal?'

Although Princess Julia's bloody glances only allowed a few to gossip about it.

When he first heard the rumor, Cedric, who had known the Count even before he was given the title, thought it was nonsense and felt uneasy.

Even if such a thing was happening on the surface, Cedric knew there must be another—more profound— reason for him to act that way. But is there any possibility that it is not just rumored?

Cedric fiddled with his mustache. Interesting.