Regan dropped her home and left. After taking a long shower, he laid on the bed with his hands under his head. A small smile flared on his face which was not ready to leave anytime soon.
His mind was clouded with all the events of the day. Her presence around him made him feel complete. Although he was happy, he could feel the desolation in his heart due to her absence.
"How blessed I would be if you could fill my life with your vibrant colors Anna!" He sighed.
He wanted to sleep but it was miles away from his eyes as his mind and heart couldn't stop thinking about her. For the first time in his life, his mind and heart were working in sync and wanted to be as much as close to her, no matter the obstacles that he wanted to overlook for atleast once. For once, he wanted to ignore them and he did that. The ecstasy that he felt flowing through his veins was indescribable.
He stood up, took his phone and went to the large French window that gave him the exquisite sight of the city. He tapped on the phone screen which lighted up with her picture as the wallpaper. He clicked it when they were strolling along the beach. She was brushing her hair back which were blowing in the cool breeze with an angelic smile on her face. The reflection of sunrays on her face accentuated her soft features and he couldn't stop himself on capturing the moment.
He gazed it lovingly and smiled remembering the day when they met for the first time. He muttered softly.
"I don't know if I would be lucky enough to ever tell you all this by myself. But atleast I have you in here to talk... to let my heart out to tell you what I feel about you.
The day you collided with me Anna... was the best day of my life. I never knew that someday you would have such a massive effect on me. I admit it that the day you fall in my arms for the first time.... I was bewitched by your ocean blue orbs. When you pushed me after then and rushed away... I was shocked... more with my conduct than yours. That night, I couldn't sleep well as your ocean blue orbs haunted me.... Of course in a beautiful way.
The next day when I saw you in the conference room, you actually took my breath away, not just with your beauty but also with your confidence and dedication towards your work. You made a special place in my parents' heart too. You saved dad and your demeanor and humbleness touched them and me as well. The first time when my name rolled over your tongue, I loved it instantly.
I have lost the count of firsts that I have experienced with you so far. Chocolates and flowers were never my thing but I sent some flowers to you as their freshness reminded me of you as soon as my eyes landed on them and I couldn't stop myself from sending them for you. Offering a coffee or the unsaid emotions swirling in your eyes, asking you to call me Regan or escorting you to the elevator, I had no control over my actions around you.
But then you rejected me when I held your hand for the first time. I couldn't forget the spark that flowed through my veins with a mere touch. I can't even describe the uneasiness that I felt on thinking that you were unwell and your changed behaviour exhilarated my bewilderment. To remove you from my mind, I drank crazily only to accept my feelings for you. I was really offended with the thought of you messing up with my mind and it got worse it got worse when Drake asked me to open my heart for you. I decided to stay away from you and engaged myself in loads of work but you invaded my mind everytime.
The day I saw you at the party, I was unable to take my eyes off you. You took me by multiple surprises whether with your skill of painting or with the way you unknowingly surrendered yourself to me in front of the media to deal with them and trusted me completely. Our first dance gave me the opportunity to hold you close and the content that I felt.....I have no words to explain it. But then, you again ran away from me taking your mysterious self back. That was the first time when I realized the meaning of pain that sparked in my body and reached my heart. I couldn't understand your hesitation. The next day you visited my home and the way you gave me the coffee to ease my headache..... I saw your selfless and caring nature. I didn't realize that time but I was falling for you more with every passing minute.
However, the hope and expectation of having you for myself got crushed in an instant when you admitted that you love someone dearly. I felt like I had lost you before even having you in my life. Then and there I had decided to shut you out from my mind and heart. But it was easy to say than do.
I couldn't stop myself to desire you for myself. When my lips brushed your forehead for the first time... I was taken aback by my own gesture and you saying that you trust me while letting the matter go.... I was guilty, but then again felt puzzled with my own feelings. My mind was saying to get away from you while my heart was not letting me to do it. I decided to maintain a professional bond with you but the whole time I fought with my feelings, my heart, my desire.... everything, just to protect myself from falling for you. However, my determination flew outside the window when I got the news of you being sick. It was again a first when my heart overpowered my mind and without thinking about anything, I came here for you.
You have shown me your different shades Anna and there's nothing that repulse me from you. I held back my feelings, fought with my heart to steer clear from you as much as possible but you unknowingly made it difficult for me. My determination, tenacity and willpower to refrain from you crumpled into bits by your innocence, charm, silliness and conscientiousness. You eventually made me realize that it was too late to stop myself from falling for you because by then, I was irressistably and irrevocably in love with you.
Today, when you shared your past with me, I realized that I have indeed been successful in making a small spot in your life and I am contented with it.
You took me by surprise when you hugged me for the first time and believe me when I say.... for a moment, I felt as if I had the whole world in my arms. My elation had no bounds and you unknowingly have exhilarated it by showing me your different sides everytime. I have always loved your innocence but I fell more for the playful and feisty Anna.
Your tears stab my heart. I don't know what exactly has happened to you to make you so vulnerable, but one thing I can promise is that you will always have me by your side in all your thick and thin.
I can't have you for me but I can live with that if you are happy. And I promise you today that I am not going to run away from you anymore because I have done it enough times.
I want you to have all the happiness of the world with or without me. I love you Anastasia. I love you."
Regan has always been puzzled regarding his feelings for Anna. So here is his point of view describing his endless love for her.
Hope you enjoy it.
What do you think about it?