Cont. Dec. 17, 2020

A/N: You might want to get some tissues and a pillow to punch. :D

10:14pm

My head is aching, I don't know why. Could it be the stress, the pain, the anger? All I want to do is sleep, but I've got mother fricking hw. I fucking hate hw. Heads up: when I reread this I will realize how sleep deprived I was while writing this. I can't stand covid, I can't stand being far away from the person I love, I can't stand being the youngest, I can't stand being alone, an only child.

*starts singing lonely by justin bieber [i emotional don't judge, and sometimes i need to cry to feel happy]

*starts crying, no no, frantically sobbing

*teeth start chattering, and starts to feel alone, without a thought

I feel alone, no one my age to talk to, no older sibling to share struggles with, no one to share my feelings with, except this lousy journal.

*starts choking on words while writing and reading this out loud

10:26pm

I hate it when my parents compare me to my older cousins. They are way older than me, one of them is getting married!!! So, STOP comparing me!!

Parents: do your homework quickly, your cousins did it way faster that you

My mind: i don't give a fucking care, and fucking stop comparing them to me!!

What I actually say: ok, I will do it faster

My mind: oh, shut the fuck up and tell them how you feel!

Me: no, I will just write how I feel -

My mind: in the lousy journal

Me: yes, so now you shut up