The Beginning

Now that I'm back at school I completely regret mine and Cayson's decision, but sadly, I have this thing called a brain ,so there's that, and I know I need my education, unfortunately. Although, I know my mom would be proud of me so I push through for her and Cayson. Cayson and I have been so busy with schoolwork we barely have time for each other anymore. It's really upsetting for me and truthfully... I would never admit to Cayson that it tugs at my heart everyday that we can't spend together. I guess in this way I don't tell him everything like I say I do but for this.. my mouth needs to stay shut.

Since my mom died I don't get to have "girl talk" anymore; before she died she would always talk about Cayson though. She would always say "he's so cute" or "you guys would make a cute couple" just to embarrass me. I always wanted to argue but it's kind of impossible seeing him in person. He had a perfect tan with light brown hair and sparkling green eyes; not to mention he's like crazy tall and I mean I'm not your typical girl but his abs are perfect. It seems like everything about him is perfect and it's like he has no flaws at all. So many girls at school just throw themselves at him, and honestly it pisses me off, I can't say anything about it though. It would ruin our friendship if I ever went after him the way they did.. he would just reject me and we would just drift apart. Then I would be alone again.

I clear my head and think back to my mom again; a smile starts to spread upon my face thinking back to how she would tease me about him. I would always get so red in the face, and I'm pretty sure she knew I liked him before I even knew myself. My mom was always a sucker for romance, anytime you would see her she would always have a romance novel in her hand. I feel that reading was my mom's escape from her marriage; she always pretended to be happy with my dad but I know she couldn't have been too happy. I heard the fights that they would have behind closed doors, but she would never tell me about them. She wanted us to all be happy so she endured everything from my dad to try and make me happy; deep down I wasn't happy because of how he treated her, but I would never tell her that. I knew she always tried her hardest, but there's only so much one person can handle in life.

I come back to my senses when some dickhead jock pushes into me and knocks me to the floor, as I'm falling I hear him snicker with his buddies and slyly say, "oops". I feel instant rage as my books and papers fly across the floor. "Asshole." I speak audibly enough for him to hear me and I start picking up my books, but Jett has other intentions. I feel the collar of my shirt become crumpled and my body is lifted and slammed against the lockers behind me. I let out a grunt of pain as my back collides with the metal and hear him say, "what the fuck did you say to me?!" He's breathing heavily through his nostrils like an oaf; I look up at him calmly showing no fear at all and bravely speak the words, "I said you're an asshole." I spit the words in his face and I see his fist ball up and pull his arm back getting ready to punch me. I get ready to defend myself when I feel my body drop to the ground again and the jock is pulled off of me. I look up from the floor and Cayson is in front of me and the jock is on the floor. I look at Cayson and he has this cheeky grin on his face, "Just threw him around a bit." he jokes. I let out a laugh and turn my focus to my books and papers but Cayson collects everything in one swift movement. I roll my eyes at him and put on a frowny face and complain to him, "I can take care of myself yknow." He raises an eyebrow and smirks, "Well it's my job...as a knight in shining armor I have to save the damsel in distress." He jokes and I punch him in the arm. "I'll have you know, Mr. Knight, that I am NOT a damsel in distress. I can take care of myself thank you very much." I argue back to him. Cayson has a bad habit of joking around during serious moments, but I love him for it... and not only as a friend. I wish I could tell him and everything would work out perfect like in the movies, like those scenarios where he's loved me all along as well but life isn't that easy. I also don't want to ruin the friendship we have, even if we would start dating I worry that it would change how we are around each other, so I find it's better to stay away from that subject all together.