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The Catharsis of Atheism

This story takes for granted the stereotype of "Romantic Comedy" (haha, no) The story stars Tatsuda Manabu, a young man of unremarkable appearance, qualifications, and reputation among his classmates. Having made it through the lengthy two-year phase as a high school student, he is in his third year of high school, unwilling to graduate. Manabu is an ordinary young man who can go unnoticed easily, he does not like to attract the attention of others, however, after an unexpected encounter with a transfer student, he begins, for the first time in what can be his entire life, to take a stance in which she will catch everyone's attention while doing his best to avoid falling in love with that student. This is how the story of romance between a girl and a boy begins that will include countless plot twists and plot changes as more characters are added. - - - - - After the completion of my main story, I have been quite bored (which allowed me to publish several chapters of the fanfic that I do), so I would be really grateful if you read this story as well. - - - - - Kanji: 無神論のカタルシス - - - - - Warning: This story has very sensitive content for certain audiences, discretion is advised for all readers. For more information about mental illness, read it on: https://www.psychiatry.org/ - - - - - Additional notes: The cover of the book will change depending on the chapter that is being developed in the story. Thanks to AARN GIRI for the original artwork for this first cover.

_kagamineakira · Realistic
Not enough ratings
14 Chs

Date in house. [May, 19th]

After talking to Homura-san for quite a while in the interrogation room, I was finally able to go home.

It was 9AM by then.

Fortunately I hadn't taken off my clothes from the previous day to sleep, which allowed me to go more or less presentable to Tokyo police headquarters.

Terrible murders are being carried out, but there's not much I can do.

One thing I couldn't tell Homura-san is that I have a person on my list of suspects that I especially categorise as a potential murderer among my acquaintances.

I don't want to accept it for now... so I'll keep quiet for a while and gather some more information before I tell Homura-san who I suspect.

I arrived at my house in about twenty-five minutes on foot, after passing by the nearest convenience store... and the first thing I looked at in the foyer, were a pair of shoes that certainly shouldn't be here.

─I've come...

I say quietly, as I'm used to and take off my outdoor shoes to enter the house.

The first thing that catches me as I walk down the hallway, is the smell of melted butter. Along with a mild citrus scent. And also, of course, the respective smell of bacon cooking.

At this combination of smells, my mouth started to salivate a little too much....

Ugh!

I feel like a dog about this, damn it.

I shake my head to dispel the thoughts of going straight for something to eat like a wild animal.

I open the door to the kitchen... and there, a most unexpected scene is laid out before me.

At the dining table, my younger sister with different coloured hair is sitting next to a man whose face I hardly ever see.

The look in this man's eyes is much sharper and projects in his expression the features of an experienced man in society. Such a look is just what I could have expected... coming from my older brother, my real older brother (it is not as if the other one is not real), Gotou-aniki.

I was surprised to see him at the table, sitting next to Mana.

He usually hangs out in his room (office) while he's at home, and all I know about him is the text messages he sends me to order me around during the time I'm at home.

But above the two of them at the same table, what surprises me most is the person who is in charge of the kitchen. A familiar face who has turned to see me.

─Ah. Good morning, Manabu-kun, sorry for the unannounced intrusion. I wanted to surprise you, but it turned out you weren't at home, so I borrowed the kitchen from your brothers just this once.

My train of thought... stopped at a station suddenly.

Katagiri Touka is here.

Katagiri Touka, wearing an apron, is cooking breakfast at my house.

Katagiri Touka... somehow managed to get Gotou-aniki out of his room and forced him to sit next to Mana, with whom he normally argues, while making breakfast, and is currently directing a smile at me.

Homura-san's question crosses my mind for a fleeting moment...

[─Are you coincidentally in love with that girl...?]

Realising the reason why all my rational thinking came to an abrupt halt was more pathetic than I expected it to be.

As with a "Puff", I felt my face flush all in an instant and my ability to speak became null and void.

The train of thought is still far from running its course... so just replying "No problem", I went to take a seat with my two brothers, who seem intrigued at my sudden change of attitude.

Ugh... What is this...?

I know Homura-san only asked out of curiosity, but that she did it even so, it burns me from the depths of my heart.

What the hell... did I say there...?

Of course I like Katagiri Touka, I just wanted to keep it hidden as much as possible. The person I have in my heart that I rejected Manaka for, is undoubtedly that same Katagiri Touka.

And I know that she's not the type of girl who would reject me...

But telling her how I feel is definitely not an option at the moment. First I want to make sure it's a good situation for it, after all, Touka-san needs some time to get used to my presence again.

I don't want to rush things...

I might end up ruining everything if I bring it forward.

Since after all, these feelings I have are something I shouldn't carelessly expose.

If she finds out because of carelessness on my part, I'll just have to resign myself and accept everything. I just feel insecure about doing it or not.

To her knowledge or not, she has become a beautiful girl. To be honest, from the moment I recognised her, my heart started beating like crazy. The whole time we spent together yesterday, I couldn't help but keep glancing at her and she looked extremely beautiful.

It's the same now...

Why is it that I simply can't stop admiring her beauty?

─Mana-chan... is it just me, or do I see sparkles in Manabu's eyes?

─You're right, Aniki. Onii-chan is getting sparkles in her eyes. It sucks... but I'll let it go just this once.

─You have to cure that big brother complex... ─

─I refuse.

I ignore the conversation these two are having.

In fact, it's best if I leave them out of the picture for now. I want to focus on Touka completely.

I get up from my seat and make my way to her side.

Touka seems focused on what she's doing, I see no flaws in her slicing of the breads she's currently spreading melted butter on.

─Hello. ─. She says to me with a beaming smile. That burns me with such purity.

─What are you doing here? ─. I decide to hide my mixed feelings through that question.

I feel a little nervous about having her so close. Uhh, I think I can smell her shampoo from here.

─ I wanted to see you. ─. She said with the utmost calmness.

Those words were a double-edged sword for both of us.

My cheeks instantly turned red once again, and out of the shame that was consuming me, I looked away to avoid looking straight into her eyes.

I'm dying right here...

I feel like I could collapse at any moment....

─A-ah....

─I'm sorry! I said... something unbecoming of me again... I just wanted to continue from yesterday, since I didn't know if you were alright.

─I see... it's okay, it doesn't matter. I don't mind if you tell me those things when we're alone.

─Uh...? Ah, okay... I'll save those things for when we're alone.

I can only comment on one thing about this exchange of words.... We look like a newlywed couple!

It's all so cute and embarrassing that I can't help but flinch as my heartbeat races to the max!

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

It was after breakfast.

─ Excuse me... ─. Touka-san said passing by the door of my room.

Since it was very uncomfortable to be on the ground floor because of Gotou-aniki and Mana's presence, we decided that the best thing to do was to go up to my room.

Which as usual for me... was too boring to say the truth.

But for Touka-san, whose times being in my room she's gone up to one, she seems a bit enthusiastic, actually.

There's nothing interesting... besides my bookshelf.

─Wow, it really is a suicide-proof room. ─. That's the first comment Touka-san gives about it.

I'm not going to refute her, she's absolutely right.

There's nothing but a wall lamp, a small fan and of course, the bookshelf.

Touka-san stops directly at the bookshelf, where she seems to be looking for something to read.

She says as if in a kind of loop; "I already read it", "I already read it", "This one is boring", "I couldn't understand this one", "Oh, this one looks cool", "This one is cool too". But he stops when he sees a particular book.

With his left hand he pulls out the book. The cover I am notoriously proud of, along with the coolest title I could have come up with for such a concept is written there.

[Mushinron no Catharsis", written by "Tatsuda Manabu".]

That's the cover of the book. A simple cover with antique European designs, mixing elegant writing together with a very ornate binding that decorates the cover itself.

Of all these books, this is certainly the most interesting of them all.

With a smile on her face, Touka takes my hand and pulls me to sit next to her, my back against the bed.

Looks like we're going to read together.

She opens the book, and rests it on her lap in such a way that I'm able to read what she's reading.

I've read this book a lot of times, and I'm still not surprised.

─Really...? Wow, you're probably going to like the sequel a lot more....

─You're working on a sequel?! Where?!

Huh?

Why is it that as soon as I mention it, she seems to want to dismiss the idea of reading the first book together?

Well... I don't mind showing her, actually.

─I haven't proposed it to my publisher yet, but I think she might like the idea too....

I stand up, and go to my backpack to find the pile of battered papers inside.

They've been there for a couple of months. I've just been adding more and more sheets as time goes by. It just so happens that with an event that happened last month, I haven't been able to continue from where I left off.

But rather than a sequel to "Mushinron no Catharsis", it's about putting the focus on someone else within the universe of the previous novel. Sure, it will bring in elements from "Mushinron no Catharsis", but it doesn't mean the protagonist will be the same.

I certainly haven't thought of a title yet.

With the stack of papers in hand, I once again sit down next to Touka-san and start reading.

─"----Infinite clarity."

─Oh, different from Mushinron, which starts with "----Full darkness"! Sounds great.

I put Touka-san's flattery aside for the moment...

And continue narrating:

[The perspective of each individual as such differs in its entirety from the adverse aspects that influence within their circle of absorption, for no one is the same]

[It was proven on the day that the [Angel] was slain at the hands of [God] himself, that there is none above him, or below the deity himself].

[----There is no darkness, only light.]

[To explain the events chronologically... is without a doubt, stupidity. I don't understand the reason for doing so, but this takes place eight days after the events that changed the very course of human history, for it turned every one of us, atheist or otherwise, into faithful believers].

[How could we not believe? After all, it was [God] in flesh and blood who gave us a proof of all his omnipotence. Which, once again, proved the weakness of the human race against that which is "not human"].

[Unlike [God], my story is not based on questioning myself, nor my own capabilities. After all, that is unnecessary. To be more specific, what my narrative is going to be about is questioning others and their every act, evenly judging all the sub-processes of my surplus humanity] [To be more specific, what my narrative is going to be about is questioning others and their every act, evenly judging all the sub-processes of my surplus humanity].

There are a couple more pages after that, but I think that's as far as I can go in the meantime.

─Hey... don't stop there, I want to hear it all.

─You'll be able to read it when the book is published, there's still a lot I need to add and correct. But with what I've read, how about it, sounds interesting too?

─You just managed to intrigue me, Manabu-kun.... but yeah, the base idea of the book sounds great, the way you explained that this is a non-direct continuation of the events of "Mushinron no Catharsis" sounds much better than I expected.

─Really? Mm... I haven't thought of a title or the protagonist's name yet, though.

─Seriously, the narrative elements you'll use here, should be consistently based on the events of "Mushinron no Catharsis", that way you could correlate both stories.

─Mm, that's what Yasunari-sensei and Matsushita-san commented, if I don't want to ruin the timeline, I think it was.

─Huh? Yasunari-sensei?

─Ah, she's the advisor of my club, the [Literature Club], we don't do much but still, we stand out enough to have two [Akutagawa Prize] winners in one place.

─What?! Two winners?! Tell me about it.

Well, I don't know if it's good to talk about her. I don't know if it's good to talk about her behind her back, but I think as long as I don't say anything unnecessary, it might be okay.

That girl wouldn't get mad at me just for talking about her to someone else, would she?

─She's the person who won the prize the year after me. It didn't have as much impact as my book, but it's still pretty popular, it even had a movie adaptation that I couldn't have. The book is called "Book of Vanities", and it's the second bestseller of the last year.

─The book that talks about mankind's worldly desires and how to fulfil them represents God Shiva's phrase, "All is vanity"? Does that thing have more popularity than your book?

─Mhm, that's the one. Anyway, your book has a lighter literature, unlike mine which has a much heavier and more complex subject matter. They couldn't adapt my book into a movie and just put it in the cinemas like that. I wouldn't be happy if they don't project from beginning to end everything that is reflected in my writing.

─Have you had any offers, Manabu?

─Movies, manga, anime, and even a video game. But none of them have had the same range of concept that I was hoping for. I just feel... there's something missing. But if you ask me, I'm interested in working with a certain mangaka who has become popular and thus adapting my book into a more comfortable reading medium that young people can enjoy.

Oh, writing a manga from a book about existentialism? Do you think he'd be willing to accept your work?

─The question is, who wouldn't? The title of my work alone makes money. Having your name next to mine in a medium other than adapting, which in this case is manga, couldn't be a greater source of income.

That comment was a bit narcissistic of me, even Touka-san frowns a bit saying "Ohhh", I know that what I said is undoubtedly something that puts me in the epitome of myself, but it's an unfounded reality in any way possible.

It is not a lie.

Besides, I've already been in touch with that popular mangaka, and he says he's going to finish his serialisation soon, so if my offer stood, we could work side by side as partners under the same cause.

My publisher is willing to sign a contract or two in order to increase the media on which my book is produced.

Ugh, maybe I should call Matsushita-san to find out how it's going with the mangaka.

Then, Hideyuki Fukasawa's "Five" from the "Mahoutsukai no Yoru" album starts playing from my mobile phone.

Oh, wow. And speaking of the Queen of Rome.

Touka-san takes the opportunity to take away the draft of the next novel I'm writing, but oh well. Without complaint, I take the call from Matsushita-san, who I have her booked on my mobile phone as "Editor-san ┐(゚д゚┐)"

─Here Manabu.

[─I'm sorry to bother you on your day off, Manabu. But I have good news for you, Kurogane-sensei has finally finished his work and is willing to take our play]

Oh.

Isn't this like the "attraction phenomenon"?

I was just talking about it and you can see that the situation has turned in the direction of that way.

Well, I guess it's some kind of a joke of fate or something, ha...

─I'll be there in half an hour.

[I'll notify Kurogane-sensei then. We'll wait for you in the meeting room, okay?]

─All right.

I hang up the call in the next second.

I see Touka-san, who seems amazed by the draft of my writing. She kept her eyes fixed on each and every line reading it one by one, having an excited expression.

I guess there's not much I can do now....

─Touka-san.

─What's wrong?

─Come with me to the publishing house, I want you to go with me.

And with that.

We headed to the publishing house while Touka-san was still going over my draft about the sequel to my book.

Maybe it was a bad idea to show her that, but ok....